


She Played With Fire

by FootballManiac



Category: Preath, Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-24 15:46:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 100,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9768878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FootballManiac/pseuds/FootballManiac
Summary: Christen always does the right things be it in her work, family, friends, or in her relationship. So what happens when she goes out one night and let loose and uncharacteristically commits a mistake that threatens to damage for good her already troubled relationship with Tobin?





	1. Take Me Back

**Author's Note:**

> I had fun writing from Christen's POV cause I'm basically just like her. I overthink a lot and everything that I have no control over freaks me out. So I hope this entertains you and doesn't waste your time lol
> 
> PS This title sucks. I had a hard time thinking of a catchy yet intriguing one but ugh I'm never good with titles.

Christen revels in the relaxing feeling of lukewarm water cascading over her cold skin, washing off the smell of vodka and cheap beer she's had in the bar earlier. Chill runs in her exposed skin that doesn't reach the warm water. She throws back her head and closes her eyes. It's mid-February and the weather outside is still tragically merciless after the sun sets. She can't wait for winter to be gone and over; for the trees and flowers and bushes to start blooming, painting the town green, orange, red, and yellow, for the sight of kids running and playing around the fields in the park, shrieking to their hearts joys. For Christen, spring is about starting anew. It indicates the start of a new year, of leaving the cold and hollowness from the previous season, to moving forward in a life filled with colors.

She rinses the shampoo bubble foam and lavender soap off and turns the water to a stop. She walks out of the shower and grabs the towel from the sink and dries off her dark hair. She shivers from the cold, goosebumps appear at the back of her neck and her arms. She stares at herself in the mirror. Physically, she hasn't changed much in the past year. Her grey green eyes are still her best asset, her black hair still long and curly, her tan skin smooth and soft and she's still lean and fit. But deep inside, Christen feels strange and disappointed with herself and how her life has turned out. She looks up at the upper right corner of the mirror where she put a photo of her with Tobin. It was taken a year ago when they flew together to Hawaii on a weeklong holiday. Tobin was hugging her from behind, planting a kiss on her left temple, eyes closed like she's savoring the moment and engraving it to her memory.

Grey green eyes darted on the camera, Christen was smiling genuinely in the picture. She remembers the exact feeling that overwhelmed her at that moment. She thought it was never gonna end, her and Tobin enjoying the sunshine from the cloudless sky and the warmth radiating off from each other. Her heart aches and she starts to feel a lump in her throat developing slowly. They looked so happy and young together. But so much has changed in the last twelve months. Back in the days, there were no issues between them. Time was not a problem. Jealousy was non-existent. Misunderstandings never occurred. Silent treatments were foreign. They just lived and had fun and were madly in love with each other.

A pair of calloused warm hands caressing her shoulders pull her back from her reverie. She's met with a pair of golden brown eyes staring at her in the mirror. They are dark and intense and flooded with hunger and want. They never left Christen's gaze as she feels wet and hot kisses on her bare shoulder, warm fingers brush her soak hair to the other side, exposing her neck that's still damped with water. They continue to stare each other in the mirror, grey green eyes to golden brown. Then warm lips move up to the crook of her neck, darting its tongue then sucking the water off the spot above her pulse point. _That's surely gonna leave marks._ But Christen is too absorbed by the ministrations to even care. The tongue and lips against her skin are hot and persuasive. She can't take the sensation any longer. She closes her eyes, reveling in the feeling, and lets a moan escape her mouth. She feels a tight grip on her waist, pulling her toward an afire skin. She grips her trembling hands on the edge of the sink. She knows what's gonna happen next and she will need to support herself from the sink otherwise she'll find herself sprawled on the floor.

Christen's ass is flushed against hot thighs, her back pressed against hardened nipples, her neck still under attacked by assaults of series of nipping and sucking and licking. One hand leaves her waist only to capture the mound of her round firm breast, massaging it expertly. Christen tilts her head up and brings her lips to an aggressive and insistent mouth. Lips crushing, teeth clashing, moans and sighs filling the room. The kiss is seeking and wanting more. It tastes of vodka and lime and salt and the light bitterness of beer from the night in the bar. Their tongues battle for dominance and supremacy. No one's backing down, determined to win over the other. Both of them are driven by lust and alcohol, and for Christen a little anger and loneliness.

Christen feels a pool between her thighs starting to build but before she can think of doing something to address it in her accords, long firm fingers ghost her folds ever so lightly that cause thrills from her spine. Christen moans louder and squeezes her thighs to gather more pressure. Her nipple, now erect, is being played with. Fingers alternately tweaking, then rolling it painfully yet pleasurably at the same time. Christen spreads her legs wider, urging the hand in between them to start working her out. Two fingers penetrates her roughly and Christen, surprised, breaks the kiss and bows her head. She's biting her bottom lip to suppress a loud cry. It's painful but it turns her on even more. A third finger is inserted before the hand starts pumping in and out of her relentlessly.

"Oh god! Yes! Fuck!" Christen cries out, failing to stifle the good feeling of being fuck. She's angry and sad and she's confused. She needs this to cloud her mind and forget everything that troubles her. Just for once she wants to be careless and free and not worry.

The fingers slow down to languid pumping until they completely halt. Christen winces, pissed that she's left hanging in the middle of reaching her peak. Small, quick, open-mouthed kisses trail from her shoulder down to her back until they reach her firm ass. She's about to protest when a strong grip around her left leg brings it up and sets it on top of the sink, while a tight hold steadies her waist. Now Christen's thighs are spread wide, exposed. She feels the cold air brushes her folds, her clit hardens and pulsates from the sensation. Christen's head falls back as she feels long, hot, tender tongue licks her folds lazily then fast and quick with lesser pressure that's driving her insane. 

"Oh shit! Don't stop! Fuck!" Christen blurts out, expletives echoing the room as the tongue penetrates her entrance and darts out and stiffs, thrusting in and out.

Christen tries to get as much hold onto the edge of the sink as she's being tongue-fucked mercilessly, in the best way possible. Her eyes are shut closed and her mouth agape. The tongue leaves her opening and moves to her throbbing clit, licking it at first, drawing circles around it, before sucking it hard. She swears she sees stars and fireworks although her eyes are closed. The tongue continues to assault her clit but moves back to her opening and starts pumping in again. Hot fingers make their way to her clit and aggressively flicks the pulsating nerve, bringing Christen to the edge. Her legs stiffen, breaths labored, mouth shamelessly crying out a string of _fucks_ and _oh my gods._ Her inner walls contract before she reaches her peak, dampening her inner thighs with her orgasm.

She's trembling. Every nerve in her body is hypersensitive. Her legs are weak and on the verge of collapsing but a strong grip on her waist from behind holds her in place. She feels groin rocking against her ass and hands running up the length of her sides until they reach her breasts and cup them, massaging delightfully and expertly all while she's recovering, riding out her orgasm.

She's being pull off from the sink and urged to turn around. She's met with dilated golden brown eyes, fierce and on fire. She's being tugged and led to an empty chair on the corner of the bathroom. Christen finds herself settling and being pulled down, slotting her core between legs until it's pressed against another hot core. Wet slick folds meeting equally wet slick folds. She sighs deep at the contact. It's hot and wet and making her dizzy. A hold on her hips encourages her to grind down. To push her core deeper for more contact and friction, to attend to the throbbing and growing heat in her thighs. Christen steadies her palms on the bare chest of the golden brown eyes and finds a good angle for their cores to rub against each other. She grinds again, pushes her groin even deeper, until she feels her clit pressed even further against another throbbing clit. Christen feels in control. She's rolling her hips, thrusting harder, faster, more frantic.

"Fuck! Chris! Oh god! Yes!" Voice cries in pleasure.

Christen is encouraged, gains confidence and superiority. Her hands move down and tweak the erect nipples in front of her. She pinches them hard then brings her mouth on one of them, eliciting louder moans and curses, threatening to reach her neighbors' attention. She sucks and nips and bites. Christen looks up and sees golden brown eyes shut close in ecstasy. The image in front of her is so hot and driving her insane. She feels the familiar overwhelming heat and delicious pull building in her core.

"Christen! I'm coming! Babe! Fuck!" The sound of plea underneath her brings her to the edge. Christen lets go of the hard and now swollen nipple and throws her head back as she thrusts her hips deeper and rubs their clits against each other one more time before gloriously coming in full force.

Christen flops onto the equally exhausted shoulder in front of her. Her limbs are supple and lankily hanging in her sides. Their bodies are damped in sweats and they twitch a little, still hypersensitive from their orgasms.

She feels the chest under her vibrates and a small chuckle escapes from above her head.

"Shit, that was so good, Chris. You're still my best fuck!"

She winces at the compliment, not sure how or what to respond. Truth is she does not know how to handle this kind of situation. She's not to doing reckless things. She's Christen Press. Everything in her life is planned and organized, so this is new to her. This is one thing maybe Kelley or Ash would do but not her, certainly not her. She's never into compulsive reckless decision making that will lead to regret and trouble. She's always responsible and clear headed. Something that Kelley lacks and seeks out from her.

Something hits Christen inside and it's like a barrel of iced water was poured all over her. Now feeling sober from both alcohol and lust, she's suddenly too aware of who she's with and what they have done. Eyes wide and red and hot, she calms and composes herself, breathing deeply to calm herself and avoid freaking out and breaking down. She pushes herself up from the heaving body below her and walks back toward the sink. With shaking fingers, she picks up the towel that has fallen onto the floor and covers her nudity. All her confidence and raunchiness a while ago are gone. 

She examines herself in the mirror and brushes the tangled and damped hair. There are patches of blue and red marks on the length of her neck. She tries to rub them off but they don't go away. They are severe and blotted that she knows even putting a concealer on top to hide them in the morning when she goes to work would be futile. She wants to shout but she's afraid she might break if she does. She swallows hard the lump that clogs in her throat to be able to speak without sounding unsure and afraid.

"It's getting late. You should leave now." She states coldly, not glancing back behind.

"Oh come on! Can't I stay over?" Christen's brows furrow and a pang hits her temples. She only gets migraine when she's in an enormous pressure and stress. Christen is about to snap back as the protest from the other side registers to her when her phone rings loud from her bedroom like a wake up call in the morning, startling her.

"Is that---" Christen cuts the voice off with a killer glare. She clasps the edge of her towel and jogs out from the bathroom to her bedside table where her phone rests, still blaring. She sees her favorite face and reads the familiar name of the caller on her phone screen.

**_Tobin Heath calling..._ **

She's shaking, heart pounding against her chest. She wants to pick the phone up but her hands are trembling and she fails each time she tries to. The phone silences and the call ends. The screen blacks out. Christen's heart hurts like somebody had stabbed a rusted knife into it. Tears run down her cheeks and she's palpitating, sweating and breathing rapidly.

She's been waiting desperately for that call. There were nights when the only thing she did was stare at her phone screen, willing it to show a text or a call from her favorite person. Just anything that would assure her Tobin hadn't forgotten and abandoned her entirely would do. Her phone lights up again and beeps twice, much to Christen's delight. Her heart skips. She gets two short text messages from the person she both hates and misses, a lot. For the past weeks, without any form of interaction with Tobin, she was gradually losing hope and thought she was going to die from not seeing or hearing that husky voice again.

**Tobin Heath:** _Chris, can we talk?_

**Tobin Heath:** _Christen, pick up the phone._

She hears measured strides coming near her. Vero takes inches closer to her. Unlike Christen, she's now fully dressed and she's managed to pull her hair in a ponytail. The sight of her reminded Christen of what she's done just a while ago. Embarrassment and shame wash over her. How can she face Tobin again after tonight? They may not be together but there's still guilt in the pit of her stomach, eating and consuming her up.

Their break was supposed to be just temporary while they figure out their differences and issues toward each other but they were always supposed to eventually get back together. But it's been four weeks and she hasn't heard from Tobin until tonight. The last information she was able to gather from their circle of friends was that Tobin flew off to Florida a week ago. And that knowledge, thinking Tobin is in somewhere in Florida maybe to see Laure, her girlfriend before Christen, the ex Tobin has had a hard time getting over from, thinking maybe Tobin wants to get back with her now that she's single again and imagining her kissing another girl, doing things to her that were supposed to be solely for Christen's, was what pushed Christen to letting loose tonight.

She let loneliness and anger and jealousy cloud her mind and take over her. She wanted to drown the pain of being abandoned in the fleeting happiness and comfort alcohol could provide. She wanted to lose control and forget things even for a night. When she met Vero in the bar, she's already in her nth shot and had chugged her third bottle of beer. Her cheeks were rosy and numbed and her chest felt so light for the first time in a month. Vero was her ex-girlfriend and her, standing by the bar with Christen, asking her why she was drinking alone, reminded her of Tobin and Laure and what could they be possibly doing at the moment. She felt a pit of burning sensation in her chest. The lightness a while ago all faded and anger was setting her on fire. So she grabbed Vero, who was equally intoxicated as her, to the dark corner near the exit, pushed her against the brick wall and kissed her hard on the mouth, not waiting for the other girl to speak up. Her lavish mouth was met and welcomed with the same level of roughness and lust. Christen felt wanted, just what she needed to feel.

"Come with me." Were the last words she remembers she muffled into Vero's swollen lips after minutes of grinding and heavy make out session. She tugged her collar out of the bar and flagged a cab back to her place, determined to make the most of her wild night.

 

Christen shrinks in her bed, tears flooding her cheeks and she's palpitating. She clenches her chest and breathes, shallow and fast, like she's just ran a marathon.

"Christen! Chris! Are you okay?" Vero rushes to her, concern evident in her voice. She brushes the strands of dark hair covering Christen's face. 

_Shit! What have you done, Christen!_ She internally scolds herself. Vero shakes her shoulder, trying to get her attention back.

She slaps Vero's hands and pushes her off to the floor. She wants to apologize but remembers she's the one people should be feeling sorry for. "Just leave me alone!" She spits out. Her eyes are red and aggressive with a little hint of regret and remorse. Vero is taken aback. She's never dealt with this Christen. She knows she's not the one who intentionally hurts people physically but still she can't believe the kind of Christen in front of her now. She may be breaking down in tears but she's oozing in fury and loathe.

Christen phone rings once again, showing Tobin's grinning photo. Christen shakes her head and shuts her eyes. Maybe Tobin is calling and wants to talk because she wants this with Christen to be done and over with. Maybe she wants to be officially free from Christen. Maybe she's realized, her and Christen are unsalvageable, that their issues are beyond repair, that nothing can ever be done to save their two-year relationship. Maybe Tobin has found her happiness again with Laure. Because Tobin has completely shut Christen off for weeks. She doesn't think Tobin desperately waits day and night for her to text or call or cares to text back and listen to the dozens of voice calls Christen has left, all confessing how much she misses Tobin. Maybe Tobin has moved on, not necessarily with Laure but with somebody else she'd met while she was walking the sunny streets of Florida. Maybe Tobin has slept with someone new even sooner than she did and now is head over heels with her new boo. Christen thinks, maybe she isn't the one meant for Tobin, and after what happened tonight, Christen thinks maybe she's really not. Because, Tobin deserves the best, someone who's worthy of her. The thought of Tobin moving on from her cuts like a knife in Christen's chest and breathing becomes more difficult.

 

"Wait, I thought you said you were over?" Vero inquires, seeing Tobin's face on her phone screen. Her tone was strangled and worried, even careful. It was almost a muffle.

"We are." Christen supplies. "But still, this, between us." She gestures between her and Vero with her free hand. "This is just a one-time thing and this never happened, okay?" Jaws, fixed and stiffed, she stares at Vero intently like the devil in her is threatening the shit out of the Spanish girl. 

Vero lets out a mocking sniff and shakes her head.

"So what if Tobin finds out? Didn't she break up wit---"

"That's none of your fucking business." She snaps. She's staring at her phone which she's finally able to grab but it was so much later after the call ended.

"Fine." Vero gets up and walks toward the door. She looks back at Christen one last time.

"And hey, thanks for a lovely night." She smirks. "And if you ever find yourself lonely again, you know where to find me." She winks before finally exiting the room.

But Christen isn't looking at her. She doesn't even hear a single word she said or notice she's left. Christen's full focus is now on the alight device in her hand. Her eyes are a pool of tears rolling down her cheeks. She's covering her mouth to stifle her cries as she keeps rereading the thread of messages on her phone.

**Tobin Heath:** _Chris, lets talk._

**Tobin Heath:** _Christen baby, I love you._

**Tobin Heath:** _Please, take me back._


	2. Love Cafe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i figured it's nice to write a happy christen:)

Christen opts for a quiet and slow walk to her favorite cafe a few blocks away from the beach where she's just had a wonderful run and view of west coast sunrise. She's listening to the entire White Album of Weezer through her earphones, thankful it's blocking out the sound of vehicles busying the road, the noise of stores opening up in the morning, and the pacing of people in the streets.

It's a nice day. Spring is fast approaching. The sun is bright, the wind is calm and not agonizingly cold unlike a few weeks ago, trees and plants around are slowly blooming back in colors, and she's out without extra layers of clothes on. Christen surprisingly feels light and relaxed. She hums along to the lyrics of the song currently playing on her playlist.

_Girl, we got a good thing_  
_You know where this is heading (uh-huh)_  
_Just a couple lovebirds_  
_Happy to be singing (uh-huh)_

She smiles to herself every time she's carried away and sings the words out of tune and louder than she intends, making people she passes by glare at her like she's some sort of a mad woman. But she can't care less. For the first time in two weeks she's enjoying her time alone. She has not heard a word from Vero since nor received a text or call from Tobin. It was difficult at first. The nagging voice at the back of her mind telling her to brave up and talk to Tobin, fix whatever is left to be fixed. But she wasn't ready yet. Not trusting herself enough to hear Tobin's voice, much more meet her face to face.

Christen hasn't been alone to herself since that night. She's always with the company of her friends. She was afraid she would completely break down if she's left alone with her demons and she might never get herself together again. She spent the weekends and most mornings with Julie, her gym co-owner and who lives a floor down her apartment. They would grab lunch and breakfast together and sometimes drive home when Julie didn't have a plan with her boyfriend or if he was stuck in work and couldn't pick Julie up.

Other times when Julie was not free, Christen would hang out with Lys, her co-teacher in the community college or find herself witnessing Kelley's old antics aka "adventures in life" as she calls them even they are as basic as peeling a potato. Kelley argues one night, "Not all survives knives and round potatoes." She points the sharp metal to Christen's direction. Christen rolls her eyes at this.

"Of course, they are round. They are potatoes, Kel. Have you seen them in squares?" Christen chuckles remembering the exchange of nonsense with her friend.

Kelly is a longtime friend since college. They were assigned to be dorm roommates since they both played for the university football team. Since then they were inseparable and unstoppable on the field. They won titles and individual awards here and there. They both decided to move to LA after graduation. Kelley to pursue med school while Christen takes her Master degree in Philosophy before opening a yoga gym a year after moving in when she's felt more settled and stable. Kelley is now working as a resident doctor in a public hospital while Christen teaches Philosophy in a community college after her yoga morning sesh in the gym. 

Christen furrows her brows. How does Kelley have so much free time? You'd think she's working her ass off attending to patients everyday but she's almost always available whenever Christen summons her. She chuckles again, not able to suppress her fascination and disbelief in her friend. A soft bump on her left shoulder pulls her out from her deep musing.

"Glad to see you in a better mood. Slept well?" Vero is grinning at her side. She's wearing a pair of Ray-Bans, covering her golden brown eyes. But that doesn't mean Christen is unaware of the knowing look behind them.

Christen stops. "What are you doing?" Her eyes are wide in anger and shock. She's clenching her jaw. She was having a wonderful morning and then this happen? Vero spins around to face her and tilts her head while rubbing her chin like she's thoroughly thinking of the best way to answer Christen.

"Umm...walking? Talking to you?" Vero smirks.

"This is too early for this. Stay away." She walks briskly, bumping Vero's muscular shoulder as she passes by.

"Hey! Christen!" She runs after her but Christen doesn't look back and continues to walk fast. Vero reaches for her arm, pulling and stopping her. Christen flinches and tries to pull her arm free from Vero's grip.

"What the fuck, let me go!" Christen protests.

"Christen, listen. I'm not gonna hurt you, okay? Calm down." There's concern and hurt in her voice. She looses her grip and lets go of Christen's arm. "I'm sorry if I freaked you out." She sounds sincere and it almost makes Christen feel guilty for overreacting like that. She calms down. It's not as if Vero is a stranger and trying to abduct her. She shakes her head.

"Okay, I'm sorry, too. That was...I watch too much Orphan Black, you know?" They both chuckle, realizing their absurdity.

"Take it down a notch. Or soon you'll end up like Helena." Vero jokes which earns a genuine smile from Christen. "Look Chris, I just wanna apologize, you know. For..." she trails, she's running her fingers through her hair, not sure what to say next. "For being cocky and an asshole before I left. And I'm keeping my promise. I won't tell a soul." She finishes, head low, eyes on the pavement.

"Thank you. So much." They're staring at each other, feeling the sincerity of their words. Relief washes over Christen. She knows she's an adult and sleeping with other people shouldn't be a big deal considering she's old enough and currently single. But she doesn't also want this to be a common knowledge, or worse reach Tobin. Not when they haven't talked.

"And you don't have to. We were both drunk." Christen continues, voice low like she doesn't want anyone overhearing their conversation.

"Okay." Vero smiles. "But just to be clear. I'm not apologizing by the way for...Chris, it was really good." She chuckles, cheeks turning rosy and she's not looking Christen in the eyes.

Christen covers her ears and shuts her eyes. "Vero!" Christen warns her.

"What? Okay, fine. I'm sorry for bringing that up!" She's laughing, enjoying how the memory is making Christen flustered. 

They fall in silence when Vero has recovered from her fit of laugh. They just stand for a moment before Christen breaks the lull between them.

"I gotta go. It's nice see---"

"You in a coffee run? Or walk?" Vero cuts her off. Christen just nods and checks the time in her phone. They have been standing on the spot for five minutes.

"Cappuccino, right?" It's more of a statement than a question and Christen is confused. _What does she mean?_ Before she can ask, Vero takes her free hand and tugs her to the direction of her favorite cafe. She wants to protest but Vero is now pushing the door open, hands still attached, not letting her go.

The clinging of wind chimes hanging by the entrance and the thud of the door closing behind her snaps Christen to the realization that she's already inside the cafe and Vero is leading her to the counter. Christen tries to pull her hand back from Vero but she only feels the grip on her tightens. They reach the counter. Vero exchanges pleasantries with a petite Latina from the other side who then asks for their orders. Vero looks back at her and smiles.

"One cappuccino, one vanilla latte." Vero dictates without looking at the barista. "Umm....you wanna have some pastri---"

"One spiced apple cinnamon roll. Her favorite." Vero's cut off by a familiar husky voice from behind. 

Christen's heart is in a riot. It's beating fast and hard and it's threatening to combust in her chest. She hasn't heard the voice in a while but she can never mistaken it for someone else. She's heard it too many times before, in the morning when she's just woken up, before she goes to bed at night. She's heard it low and loud and in a muffled moan or a scream. She's heard it plead and ordered. She's heard it too many times whispered her name with want and lust to forget nor not recognize it. 

"Chris..." Her favorite husky voice calls her. Christen turns around, Vero letting go of her hand when she pulls it again from the grip.

"Tobin..." Was all Christen can mutter. She hiccups hearing the name rolled over her lips. It's been a while and it tugs a string in her chest. Christen is hypnotized by a pair of loving, lonely, shaky hazel eyes staring at her. There's longing in them and regret. It's hopeful, almost begging and pleading and it melts Christen's heart. She doesn't know how long they stayed like that, lost in each other's eyes and zoned out from the rest of the world. Nothing matters but the emotions they try to convey to each other through their eyes.

"Hi" Tobin breaks the stillness between them. Her face is soft yet stern and her voice is covered in uncertainty. Lips tight, Christen smiles coyly in return, not really sure how to respond in this kind of situation.

"Can we ta---"

"Hey I hate to spoil this but coffee's here for you, Chris." Vero interrupts, a smile plasters in her colorless face.

Christen has never been annoyed in her life as she is with Vero right now. She closes her eyes and tilts her head up. _Fuck off, Vero!_ She internally cursed. She turns around and grabs the cup of her coffee and a paper bag of her spiced apple cinnamon roll from Vero's hold. She gives Vero a stern look and gestures her head to the door, signaling the Spaniard to exit and leave her be with Tobin. Vero seems to understand Christen and smiles before pulling her into a hug that's taken Christen aback. Christen pushes slowly once she's recovered. Vero grins before turning to Tobin who's observing them the whole time with a somber face.

"I'm sorry. Are you...is this...am I ruining something? If this is....Chris, we can talk some other time." Tobin rattles. She's rubbing the back of her neck. Her eyes are apologetic and if Christen is right, a little soggy.

"No, we just---"

"It's cool, dude. I gotta go anyway." Vero interjects and pats the top of Tobin's shoulder a little too hard than necessary. She looks at Christen again, pulls down her Ray-Bans then winks before striding out of the cafe, still smiling while saying, "bye, Christen," before she's fully gone outside."

Christen smiles and shakes her head, amused by Vero's cockiness. She looks back at Tobin, feeling a pair of hazel eyes digging a whole on the side of her face.

"I'm sorry that was...Vero is just---"

"Can we get a table? We can't talk like this, standing in the middle of a cafe." Tobin cuts her off. _Why are people keep on interrupting me?!_ But she didn't miss the anger and pang of hurt in Tobin's tone. _Is she mad at me?_

A clearing of throat from the girl in front of her drags Christen out from her thoughts.

"Yeah sure. Of course we..." but before she can finish her sentence, she notices Tobin's back turning away from her. She's already walking towards the vacant table at the back porch of the cafe where they used to enjoy their cups of coffee and spiced apple cinnamon rolls on lazy Saturday mornings. 

She follows quickly, a little pissed that Tobin just bolted from her to the table. She places her paper bag and cup on the table before taking the wooden chair across Tobin. They remain silent. Neither wants nor knows what to say first. They take a sip of their coffee occasionally but eyes keep locked on each other's. Never breaking the staring battle. Too proud to lose. Finally, Tobin breaks her silence.

"How are you?" Tobin's voice is low and restrained. She's dragging her index finger along the rims of her cup.

"I'm fine. I'm okay." It's the truth. She's feeling good. It must be her early run and the beautiful sunrise she's witnessed that's making her day light and chill so far. Had Tobin asked how she's been doing a few weeks ago, she'd have probably said she's dying and devastated. Sure, some remnants of guilt are still haunting and eating her up in the core and she still longs for Tobin every single day since they took a break. But, in the past three days they only bother her at nights when she's alone in the confines of her apartment where everything reminds her of Tobin and how much she misses her. She has learned how to managed her thoughts and feelings and how to shove them in the deepest corners of her mind whenever she's at work or hanging out with friends.

She hears Tobin smirks. "Yeah, I can see that." There's an undeniable underlying rage in her tone.

"What does that mean?" Christen asks as she sets her now a bit cold coffee aside, suddenly her appetite vanished. 

"You didn't answer my calls. I even texted you. A few times. I didn't hear from you. Not even once, Chris." Tobin's eyes are piercing. They are accusing and judging. Her voice, though low enough just for the two of them, is hoarse and harsh and no longer masked by restraints.

Christen knows exactly what she has to tell Tobin but she can't bring herself to telling her about what happened the night she called and texted. She knows it's wrong to keep it a secret from Tobin if they are to make up and decide to give each other a second shot. But she also knows that telling Tobin will shatter all her hopes of getting back with her. And Christen is too selfish for that. She's too afraid of losing Tobin for good. If she tells her, she knows she won't have Tobin's forgiveness. Tobin's going to hate Christen until all the love she has for her is purged out from her system, until the only feeling left in Tobin towards her is loathe and disgust.

Christen breaks their eye-contact and bows her head in defeat. She can't tell Tobin the truth, neither lie straight to her face. So she only does what she's good at. "I'm sorry." Her face is now damped with tears running down her cheeks. She knows it's inadequate and vague and Tobin deserves more but that's all she can bring herself to saying. 

"Fuck!" Tobin curses. It startles Christen and even draws the attention of a few customers catching up and enjoying their food at the porch on what is supposed to be a lovely morning. "Is there...are you back with her?" Tobin questions, sounding hesitant and tensed. She's running her fingers through her hair while her other hand is balled in a pale fist, resting on top of the table. Christen looks up and meets Tobin's burning gaze. 

"What are you talking about?" Christen pretends, asks innocently, though she knows what Tobin is exactly accusing her of.

"Vero. Did you get back while I was gone?" Tobin's spitting it with horror and disgust. The look in her face is cutting through Christen's chest, making breathing difficult for her. This is what she fears the most: Tobin looking at her with distaste and repulsion.

"I should've known. You walked in here hand in hand. Fuck! I''m so stupid!" Tobin murmurs to herself. Christen is watching Tobin intently. She's unfairly beautiful, without any make up on, even in this early morning. But her eyes are red and soppy. They are not shining and glowing like they used to whenever Christen is around. Tobin is brushing her cheeks dry from the tears that's flooding her cheeks, her eyes are focused on the wall instead of meeting Christen's.

She's slipping away. Slowly building a wall around her to protect her from getting hurt further. Christen knows she has to do something about this. Has to fix and apply bandage on the damage she has caused. Otherwise, she won't ever have the chance again to make up with Tobin. Because if she let this day pass without clearing things with Tobin, without giving her assurance and making her feel her love, if she let Tobin leave this Cafe with more doubt and questions than answers, Tobin will eventually run cold and exhausted. She maybe even block her out and start moving on. Christen should know. It has been Tobin's way of handling things. She doesn't dwell too much on people and situations too long. If one thing doesn't go well for her, she will at least try fixing it once, but if it still fails, she lets go of them and never turn her back again. So Christen must woman up and not fuck this up. Tobin must stop hurting.

"Tobin, baby." She reaches out for Tobin's face and rubs her thumb on the wet skin to dry off the tears. "Babe, look at me please." She wills her to but Tobin refuses. "I'm not with Vero. I'm not with anyone. I won't be unless it's you." Christen sincerely tells the perturbed beauty in front of her, all of her words being true.

Tobin drags her gaze and locked eyes with Christen.

"She was holding your ha---"

"She was dragging me here." Christen provides. She gives Tobin a lip-tight smile and added pressure on her hand that's caressing Tobin's cheek.

But Tobin pulls back from her touch and gives her a grim look. "So you're talking again, huh? Since when?"

"No, I mean, we just bumped into each other a block away. She offered to buying me coffee but I declined. But she insisted and dragged me here." Christen has managed to reason as calm as possible. Her heart is pumping in an all-time high record. She isn't entirely lying, right? She didn't lie when she said they just bumped into each other outside because that was what really happened. But she doesn't have to fill in Tobin with all the details that led Vero to tugging her here and why she wants to treat her for a cup of coffee and that this wasn't the first time in two weeks they talked. 

Tobin releases a sigh and drops her tensed shoulders. Her hand is no longer clenched in a fist and her hazel brown eyes are now soft and hopeful. They fall in silence again but eyes never left each other's.

"I'm sorry." Tobin smiles at her lovingly and reaches for her hands on the table and intertwines their fingers. Christen closes her eyes, savoring the moment. It's been a long time since she's felt Tobin's touch. She's soft and warm in the skin and just comforting. Christen thinks she can live enclosed in Tobin's hands and arms and nothing more. She brings Tobin's hands to her lips and kisses them. She doesn't know how she's braved and able to survive those weeks that they were apart and she didn't get to hold and touch Tobin like this. She can't stop the tears that are filling in the corners of her eyes to flow down. She thought she's never going to get a chance of doing this with Tobin anymore. She thought she has lost Tobin forever, that she's never coming back to her again.

"Chris baby, I'm sorry...for doubting you. For everything." Tobin utters in between sniffs and beads of tears rolling down over her cheeks. "I'm sorry that I ever left and asked for space and time apart. I'm never gonna do that again for as long as I lived. I miss you so much. I love you, Chris." She rattles and spurts out.

"I called. So many times." Christen states plainly, revisiting her pain and frustration during those nights when Tobin wouldn't answer her calls. She would cry herself to sleep only to wake up the next day to even more crying and self-pity.

"I'm really sorry for that, Chris." Her voice is low and full of embarrassment. "But it was only a few days after we agreed to take a break. I thought it was best if we don't talk for a while. And then you stopped calling one day and I thought it was good for the both of us." She pauses and takes a deep sigh. Christen keeps silent. Just wants to listen to Tobin pouring her heart out. "But you never called again since and I freaked out thinking you're moving on. So imagine how I felt seeing you walking in with Vero holding hands." Tobin flinches, recalling the scene a while ago.

"Tobin, I'm not...we're not..." Christen is lost for words. Did Tobin think there's something between her and Vero because apparently it's quite obvious that something really happened between them?

"I know, I know now. I'm sorry, Chris. And not just for that but for all the pain I caused you. I really wanted to call, you know. But I chickened out each time. When I finally got the nerve, you didn't pick up. I thought you hated me. Do you hate me?" Tobin sounds unsure and fearful, she's readying herself to hear the worst from Christen.

"No, I can never, Tobs. I love you." Christen feels butterflies. It always happens every time she whispers those three words to Tobin. Christen hears creaking of chair being pushed back. Tobin stands and walks around the table to her side. Their hands still intertwined. Christen gets up too, meeting Tobin to a bone-crushing hug.

"Take me back, Chris. I'll make it up to you until you've forgiven me. Just give me another shot." Tobin pleads in the crook of her neck. Christen nods. She's too overwhelmed to be able to come up with coherent words.

They stay quiet and wrapped in each other's warmth and embrace. Christen pushes back softly to look straight into Tobin's eyes. Hopeful hazel brown eyes locked in hers. They are glistening in tears and joy. Tobin leans in, closing the minuscule space that's separating them. Christen holds her breath in anticipation. She's waited and craved for this. To taste Tobin's soft, chapped lips. To welcome and suck her hot, tender tongue inside her mouth.  
She can't remember the last time they kissed. It feels so long ago, an archaic memory.

Christen melts in Tobin's lips. Her memory doesn't do enough justice in the glory of the actual feeling of kissing Tobin. It's warm and soft and careful. It carries apologies and promises. It's home and Christen feels so secured, content, full, and complete. It's nothing like the kisses she shared with Vero two weeks ago. They were purely driven by lust and anger and alcohol and all the wrong reasons. This one with Tobin makes Christen feel loved. Then it suddenly hits her again. The guilt residing in the pit of her stomach coming back, summoned by the ghost of memory of her and Vero that night. She squeezes her eyes shut, trying to quickly bury the images in her mind, along with the shame and remorse in her chest. Christen doesn't realize she's stopped kissing back Tobin.

"Is it too much? Is it too premature? Too soon?" Tobin's voice full of concern. 

"No, just...it's nothing...come back." Christen pulls Tobin and grabs the back of Tobin's neck then kisses her again, this time with much more force and aggressiveness. She wants to convey to Tobin how much she loves her. Wants her to feel and experience it. Christen wants herself to immerse into Tobin, to be fully engrossed and absorbed by this kiss with Tobin, all while ignoring the foreboding feeling she has at the back of her subconscious mind. _No, she'll never gonna find out._ Christen internally assures herself, as she deepens the kiss with Tobin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall check out weezer' white album it's bomb!


	3. I'm Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen and Tobin talk things out and everything seems great again between them.

It takes them a good amount of cat-calling coming from a few cafe diners before they break off and cold down from their not-so PG kiss at the back porch. They are both smiling at each other, Christen leaning forward, resting her forehead against Tobin's.

"Do you wanna...can we go somewhere else?" Christen breathes out, while slowly shifting her head so she can trail soft hot kisses on Tobin's cheek, continuing the kiss down below her ear. Tobin shivers, tightening her grip on Christen's waist.

"Chris..." Tobin can barely whisper, so indulged in the feeling of Christen's warm lips on her skin.

"Baby, I missed you so much." Christen mumbles before biting down lightly on Tobin's neck, soothing it a little with another soft kiss. Christen swears she hears a coy moan escapes as she continues her ministrations. Tobin pushes her a little and steps back. She's biting her lower lip and eyeing Christen earnestly. Christen’s hooded yet loving green grey eyes hold her stare, trying to channel the longing and want she feels toward Tobin.

Christen is surprised by the taste of a wet chaste peck on the lips before she's being tugged by Tobin back inside the cafe. They pass several of the customers who were gawking at them a few moments ago. But Tobin is pulling her determinedly towards the front door, not minding the eyes following them until they reach Tobin's car that's parked across the street.

Tobin kisses Christen hard before opening the door of the passenger's seat and helping her settle inside, then quickly jogs around the Jeep's hood and finding the driver's seat soon. Christen is a ball of overwhelming mixed emotions. Though she looks calm and ever so poised, Christen is a riot and a chaos from the inside. Her mind is running a mile a second in anticipation. Her heart feels like high-fiving the rest of her internal organs. Her stomach filled with butterflies and somersaulting. She tries to steady her breathing, remembering the yoga techniques she's mastered for years. But inhaling the familiar lime scent of Tobin's car air freshener which she hasn't smelled in weeks makes her recall inappropriate images of them doing dirty things inside the car and it doesn't help ground her at all. It's engulfing her, both the scent and the memories of them. It is as if she can still hear Tobin's pleas and muffled cries in her ears, feel the excitement crawl down her spine.

Christen is pulled out of her improper fantasy by a warm squeeze around her thigh. She finds Tobin's eyes assessing her, thoughtfully evaluating Christen’s demeanor. She gives Christen a lip-tight smile and leans in for a quick yet fond smack on the lips.

“Chris, baby, we don't ha---“ She's interrupted by a firm hand grabbing the back of her neck and a bruising kiss on the lips. Christen doesn't waste time. She swipes her tongue inside Tobin's mouth, fully tasting her this time.. She's aggressive and dominating Tobin. This is one of the many things she'll never get enough of with Tobin. She tastes like cinnamon or ample and something that's just uniquely Tobin. 

“My place, it's closer.” Christen mutters in labored breaths as soon as the kiss breaks and left them both bedazzled and swayed in their seats.

“Yeah, okay…your place then.” Tobin barely manages to say. She’s shaking her head while running her long fingers through her brown silky hair, exhaling audibly before turning her focus on the wheel instead on Christen who is equally distracted and turned on as her.

The ride to Christen’s apartment is quiet and delicate. Neither one wants to speak up, afraid they might pop the love bubble encasing them at the moment. It is surprisingly long, too. Christen notices Tobin is starting to shake her legs up and down, a habit, Christen learns, she unconsciously does whenever she's immersed in situations she's nervous about. Christen reaches for her right arm and holds it, squeezing just enough to reassure Tobin that this is okay and this is what she wants more than anything else. That for god's sake they've done this a hundred of times before, everywhere they felt doing it, and that there's no need to be stressed about because this is Christen she's with. She loves Tobin, they love each other, and isn't it what should only matter?

Christen’s phone rings loud, startling them both. Kelley's smiling freckled face lights up the screen. Christen doesn't even have to think twice though. She turns off her phone and continues to rub patterns on Tobin's arm with her left hand.

“Babe, what if it's something important? Urgent?” Tobin tells her. She frees her left hand from the steering wheel and rests it on top of Christen’s that's massaging up and down her arm and shoulder. Christen gives her a knowing look.

“Kelley can wait but I can't.” That's all it takes for Tobin to shut her mouth and keep on driving. 

They finally reach Christen’s apartment complex. Christen opening the door and jumping off first, a little too excitedly, not letting any second go to waste. Tobin follows her moves right after, unfastening her seatbelt and leaping out of her car. Christen waits for her, hand reaching out so they can hold hands while jogging the mean and torturous distance between the parking lot and her apartment. They can't help themselves giggle as they take each step of the stairs leading to Christen’s.

Christen bites her bottom lip to gag a fit of laugh. It’s like youth has revisited her. Tugging Tobin behind reminds her of her high school days. It's like they are hormonal teenagers who couldn't wait to rub on each other's estrogen driven bodies as soon as they have left school, sneaking in their rooms before their parents were home.

Tobin seems to notice her struggle to suppress herself from bursting. “What?” She inquires, a smile plastered on her face as well. Christen stops just as they reach the second floor.

“Nothing. I'm just excited, I guess.” She pulls Tobin closer and gives her another meaningful kiss. She's about to deepen her tongue further into Tobin's mouth when a sudden series of metals clanking and falling behind her interrupts and breaks them apart. Julie is watching them in surprise, hands covering her agape mouth, probably to prevent herself from squealing at the scene happening before her. Her gardening tools now scattered all over the floor. 

“Oh, hi Jules!” Christen greets her friend. “Talk to you later. I'm kinda in a hurry.” She half shouts as she drags Tobin again up the final stair to her apartment. She's not in the mood for small talks. Her friend can have it with her later today, or tomorrow, or the day after that once she and Tobin are done with their business. Right now she has a mission to accomplish and she won't let anyone get in her way. _Not even Jesus can stop me._ She quips internally. So Christen hardly hears Julie shouting back something at her.

They reach the front of her door in one piece but Christen thinks she might as well burst into pieces right then. She’s struggling on inserting her key in. Her body is shaking from Tobin’s ministrations from behind. She's biting down on the soft, sensitive lobe of Christen’s ear. Her hand running up and down the length of Christen’s sides. A leg is slotted between Christen’s thigh, lightly putting pressure against Christen’s growing heat and throbbing bundle of nerves. _Oh dear god! I'm going to die._ Christen silently prays.

Finally, the door unlocks and Tobin is impatiently pushing her inside, turning her around so they are facing. But they don't get a chance to stare at each other's eyes for too long. Both of them wanting more than that. Christen captures Tobin's mouth in full force. The door closes behind them in a thud as Tobin is pushed against it. Her head hitting the wooden surface a little too harsh. She gasps both in pain and pleasure but Christen swallows it with her insistent mouth. Her tongue coaxes Tobin's to a battle which Tobin happily complies to. Their tongues dance in a rhythm they alone know how to. Guttural moans unabashedly escaping their lips, filling the once lonely room, which only drives them even crazier. Tobin breaks the kiss when breathing has become necessary. She tilts her head up, giving Christen the chance to explore the skin on her neck. Eyes shut, she hangs on Christen for support. 

Christen, meanwhile, continues her assault. She trails hot open-mouthed kisses down Tobin's neck. She finds Tobin's prominent collarbone and bites hard on it, soothing it quickly by swirling her tongue on top of the sting. Tobin moans again at this and grips around Christen’s shoulders tighter, encouraging her more, signaling Christen that whatever she's doing is fucking turning her on. Christen’s hands run from Tobin's waist to the small of Tobin's back, finding the hem of her grey joggers. She pauses for a while. Her innate decency reminding her to wait for permission. Tobin pushes her body up, urging Christen to go on, do as she pleases. Christen’s hands skim under the joggers and through Tobin's underwear. Tobin is ablaze to her touch. Christen moans loud feeling the burning skin under the palms of her hands. She looks up to Tobin whose eyes are still shut closed, her teeth biting down her bottom lip.

She brings her lips at the exposed skin down Tobin's ear and whispers. “Bedroom. Now.”

Tobin can only respond through short, impatient nods. Too enthralled in the arousal in Christen’s voice to produce any sensible word. Christen steps back, shaking her running shoes off gracelessly while walking backwards in the hallway leading to the master’s bedroom, eyes raking down on Tobin who's following her behind and doing the same. She's kicking off her pair of Nikes and drops her flannels on the floor. Christen feels challenged and takes her top off, exposing her visible erect nipples against the thin fabric of her sports bra. She smirks seeing Tobin swallow huge gulps in appreciation of the goddess in front of her.

Christen’s about to say something when Tobin's come rushing forward. She scoops Christen’s face and brings their lips into a hungry and lustful kiss. Tobin's tongue is in a rush and persistent. It runs along Christen’s half-parted lips, pushing inside to meet Christen’s. Tobin is fighting for superiority and supremacy over Christen. The kiss is demanding and possessive. It’s owning Christen and seeks for her total submission. Christen, nonetheless, doesn't put up a resistance. She's surrendering her all to Tobin. Laying out and offering all she can give to satisfy Tobin's needs and cravings.

Still attached to the mouth, Tobin pushes Christen to the master’s bedroom. Christen’s shoulder’s back hits the edge of the door frame. It hurts but she can't care less. Tobin is expertly sucking her tongue and it's making her dizzy, driving her insane, and it's the only thing her body wants to feel right now. Tobin slowly kisses her down from her cheek to the bare skin where her neck and shoulder meet. She's sucking hard and biting down, urging Christen to produce guttural sounds.

Christen's hands are tangled in Tobin's flowing brown hair as Tobin cups her bra, firmly squeezing first before abruptly pushing the barrier down, exposing her huge round areolas and taunt pink nipples. Tobin doesn't hesitate, doesn't holdback. She's turned into a famished animal. Her mouth hungrily attacks the flesh on Christen’s right breast, sucking eagerly like a thirsty desert man who hasn't had liquids in years. She wraps her left arm around Christen’s bare back for support, keeping them from falling over the floor, while her other hand is torturing Christen’s other nipple with a series of tweaking and pinching and squeezing.

Christen throws her head back in pleasure, her torso curving up, pressing the mound of her nipple deeper into Tobin's mouth.

“Fuck! Tobin! Baby! Bed! Now!” That's the most coherent words she can come up and she's not sure anymore if she's whispering to Tobin or shouting. All she knows is there's a perturbing throbbing between her weak legs that Tobin must satisfy immediately.

Christen is being led forward until she's pushed and her back hits the soft mattress. She bounces off from the force but Tobin is quick to lay on top of her and capturing back her lips. Christen kisses her back as fiercely, too pride to allow Tobin to do all the work. She nudges Tobin and pushes her body up so she can lift her bra off and reward Tobin an all access to her erect nipples. Tobin is enthralled, hooded hazel brown eyes watching Christen in adoration and desire.

Tobin crosses her arms around and reaches for the hem of her shirt, taking it off first before discarding her bra too. Her eyes never leaving Christen’s green pair. Christen leans forward and captures Tobin's breast with the insides of the palms of her hands.

While Tobin is rough and aggressive, Christen on the other hand is patient and careful, taking her time wisely. Massaging Tobin's chest slowly and firmly. She looks up and meets Tobin's eyes. Both of them fueled by fire and want for each other. Christen bends down and darts her tongue out ever lightly on the aroused nipple. Her tongue circles and wets the twitching nipple while she's still holding a stare on a pair of afire hazel brown eyes.

“Oh my god! Baby! Chris…” Tobin falls her head back and shuts her eyes closed, breaking the stare. It's too much for her. She's now grinding her hips on Christen’s thighs, fingers ruffled in Christen's dark hair. Christen wraps her arms around Tobin and grips her waist tight, pulling Tobin deeper into her. A series of expletives echoes the room. Christen is sucking and tweaking and biting her sensitive nipples, alternating her attention from one breast to the other. 

“Baby, baby, open your eyes. Look at me, look at me.” Christen orders, her voice husky, chest heaving in excitement.

Tobin bends her head down but not meeting Christen’s loving gaze. Her then hazel eyes hooded with ecstasy and lust, now soaked in unwanted tears. It's rolling over her cheeks, dampening her somber face. There it is again. Regret mixed with longing and plea and fear reflecting from the depths of her eyes.

“Tobin, what's wrong? Babe, did I do something?” Christen panics, worriedly regards Tobin. She scoops Tobin’s jaw, willing her to look her in the eyes and confess the reason behind her tears. But Tobin refuses to speak a single word. Instead she leans down and crushes Christen’s mouth to hers. Christen returns the kiss. It's rushed and demanding and rough until both of them are out of air and have to calm down to steady their breathing.

Tobin rests her forehead against Christen’s. Tears still flowing from the corners of her eyes, dampening Christen’s face as well. 

“I’m sorry, Chris. I love you so much. Please forgive me.” Tobin mumbles in between sniffs and sobs.

Christen is taken aback. She hasn't seen Tobin getting emotional before during their make outs or while having sex.

“Tobs, baby. Listen, I have. You're forgiven. And I love you too, okay? You may ask again for some space and time apart but I will always take you back.” Christen’s heart swells. It's the truth. No matter how many times Tobin walks away from her, Christen will still be waiting for her to come back. She'll still take her back and forgive her because a life without Tobin, though survivable, is something she’ll never wish to live in. 

Tobin kisses her once more. This time it's languid and tender and calm. Their tongues dance in rhythm they have mastered and is only known to them.

Tobin pulls out from the kiss, much to Christen's dismay. “Chris, can we only…can we just kiss and nap?”

Christen regards her with wide eyes, confused and surprised at the same time. “You want us to what?” She asks, a hint of annoyance in her voice. Sure she loves Tobin but if there's one thing she hates the most, it's getting blue balled when she's really turned on.

“I just don't think it's wise to rush things.” She looks so small and coy, her eyes glistening and unsteady. “We only got back an hour ago and---“

“Okay, I understand. I'm sorry…I just missed you a lot.” Christen cuts her off. She's calmed herself down, letting better judgment and reasoning sink into her system.

“I want this Chris. I want you right now, probably even more than you want me.”

Christen shakes her head. “Not possible.”

“But I also want to take this slow. I want to woo you again. Give you flowers, make you feel butterflies. Be a better girlfriend for you. Someone you deserve. So you can trust me again.” Tobin continues. Her expression is stern and serious. Her gaze is loving and soft and full of hope.

“I trust you.” Christen tells her. They kiss a little more until both of them are too exhausted to keep their lips in action. Tobin lies on top of Christen, her head finds the broad, plain space of Christen’s chest just above her heart. They sleep in comfortable silence, bare chest to bare chest, warm and familiar. Their hearts beating in sync against each other.

 

“Christeeeen honeeeey I’m home!” A loud voice blaring from the living room. Christen jolts out from their deep sleep, pushing Tobin off to the side of the bed.

“Fuck!” Christen jumps off the bed and looks for her top. She remembers she took it off in the hallway a while ago. She rummages in her drawer, grabbing the first shirt she sees and putting it on. She pulls another one and throws it on Tobin.

Tobin watches Christen with knitted brows. She bites down on her bottom lip before she speaks. “What's happening?”

“Put that on, hurry!” Christen commands in a hushed voice. The voice is fast approaching. It's loud and clear from the room. Christen runs toward the door to shut it close but she trips over Tobin's bra that was discarded onto the floor earlier.

“Christen baby, why are your clothes scattered all over the place? Is it: A) You're being a brat B) They are Tobin's and you're finally throwing them out your life C) These are sex clothes and you're actually naked, and harbo---“ Kelley stops mid-sentence. “Oh hi there Tob---wait why are you here?” She's taken aback by the sight of Tobin on Christen's bed. “And you're naked, wait where's---“ Then it hits poor, pure, immaculate Kelley.

“My eyessss!!!! It got cancer!!!! I'm suing!!!” Kelley screams and bolts out to the safety and confines of the living area. She's wailing inaudible words, threatening to scandalized the entire apartment complex.

Tobin falls in a fit of laugh while Christen is face-palming herself on the floor.

“I better get to her before she calls 911.” Christen pushes up and fixes herself.

“She's not thinking I molested you, right?” Tobin inquires seriously. Christen walks forward to the bed and leans in for a kiss.

“No, she's not.” Christen gives Tobin a peck on the cheek and moves her lips slowly at the side of her head, near her ear.

“But I would've let you molest me, had you wanted.” She whispers before pulling back and exiting the room, leaving Tobin out of breath.

 

Kelley’s sitting on a stool and covering her eyes with apples when Christen finds her in the kitchen.

“Is it now safe for my two innocent eyes to open and see the world again?” Kelley speaks sensing Christen is now in the kitchen, too.

“Kel, don't be a child. You're a doctor. You've seen worse.” Christen quips at her friend.

“Yeah? What's worse than witnessing your best friend hammered in bed?” Kelley royally fires back, putting the apples on the kitchen island. 

“Shut up, we weren't having sex! We're taking things slow.” Christen’s scandalized, blushing at Kelley's bluntness. Although she's known Kelley for as old as time, Christen is still uncomfortable discussing her sex life with her, or with anyone else. It's just a thing that is supposed to be personal and private, and shouldn't be shared as a common knowledge. 

“The marks on your neck would like to object, your honor.” Kelley points at the trail of purplish taints all over her neck and chest. Christen falls silent, too embarrassed to try to defend the bite marks on her skin.

“Why are you here? You're supposed to be facilitating a surgery right now.” Christen tries to divert the topic to save herself from further humiliation.

“Duh the surgery got moved next week. I called you because I wanted to get brunch with you but you never answered. I see now why. You've already eaten." Kelley rolls her eyes and shivers, acting like she's so grossed out.

“Kelley!” Christen cries out, unable to think of anything else to say. Silence engulfs them. Both of them is immersed in their individual musings. She internally cringes. She knows exactly what's going to happen next and she's not sure she's ready to explain herself to her friend.

“So what now? You're back with her? Since when?” Kelley breaks the deafening silence between them.

“ She shows her pathetic ass and just a snap, you've forgiven her easily like that?” Kelley continues, can no longer mask her disappointment with her friend.

Christen understands where her frustration is coming from. Kelley was the one who had to physically pick her up from the bathroom floor the night Tobin broke up with her. She was there when Christen had nightmares and couldn't sleep because Tobin wasn't cuddling her from behind. Kelley had to learn how to cook new dishes and find new diners because every food reminded Christen of Tobin. So Christen understands Kelley’s dejection.

“I love her.” That's all Christen have to say because honestly that's the best argument she can provide to anyone who dares to question her. She loves Tobin and isn't it enough reason to forgive her and take her back? Does she really necessarily need any more than that?

“Chris, I know and believe me I understand.” Kelley interrupts her thoughts. “All I want is for you to be happy and I know Tobin is your source of joy. Just that…” Kelley trails off, deliberately calculating her next choice of words. “Be careful. I don't want you getting hurt like that again.”

Christen brushes the few drops of tears running down her cheeks. She's beyond moved and touched by her friend's love and concern.

“I know, Kel. Thank, you.” They both chuckle a moment later realizing how cheesy their conversation has gone to. Christen hugs Kelley airtight.

“Okay, Press, let go I can't breathe!” But Christen holds her tighter instead, not letting her go. Christen only pulls back when they hear low thuds of footsteps approaching. 

“Be nice.” Christen warns Kelley. She's charming and a total babe but she can be a bitch too to those she's not in friendly relations with. 

“I'll try.” Her face cold and stoic, enormously different from the grinning figure of Tobin coming out from the hallway.


	4. Lock Up In Her Sex Den

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelley and Tobin confront each other.
> 
> Christen gushes to Julie about her weekend with Tobin.

“You, Tobin Powell Heath, is a piece of fucking stinky shit!” Kelley shouts out, unable to suppress her outrage any longer.

“And you, Kelley Maureen O’Hara, is an itchy dirt who makes poor life choices!” Tobin snaps back, equally furious at the freckled girl pacing across the kitchen island.

Christen, meanwhile, is just observing them by the distance. She has her back against the sink, arms crossed. She has just finished washing off the dishes. She gave in to Tobin's puppy eyes and Kelley's relentless whining and made them breakfast a while ago. Christen looks back and forth between the two, almost thrown off by the sight. Tobin and Kelley have fallen to a “friendly discussion”, as they both call it, about the best football league in Europe for the past half hour, neither one backing down, too proud and competitive to lose to the other.

To Christen’s surprise, Kelley's really nice to Tobin, so far. Although there were times earlier that she’d jibe at Tobin ( to which Tobin, just being herself, was entirely oblivious about the whole damn time) for royally fucking up Christen by asking a break from their relationship, Kelley isn't hostile toward her in general. She's genuinely laughing and joking and enjoying a pleasant time with Tobin around. It gives Christen hope that maybe things will easily fall back the way they were before. Everything will be fine again.

“CP, come on! Back me up here! You know Germany is the shit!” Kelley coaxes Christen to jumping into the discussion in her support.

Christen takes a deep breath and bends her head down. This is going to be bloody. “I'm sorry Kels but I agree with Tobin on this one. Spain has the best clubs and football league in Europe…and best footballers. Come on, Ronaldo? Bale? Messi?” Christen internally cringes, preparing herself for her best friend's incoming outburst.

“Game fucking over!” Tobin celebrates, hopping the small distance towards the sink and throwing herself in front of Christen. She snakes her arms around her waist and presses their bodies in an affectionate and languid embrace. Christen welcomes Tobin and buries her nose in Tobin's shoulder, inhaling her favorite smell of ocean and detergent. She giggles at the warm, wet contact of Tobin’s mouth on her neck.

“Really?” Kelley throws her hands up. “That loser bribes you with that body and satisfies your carnal needs and you're suddenly abandoning me? Whatever happens to us being “ride or die?” “partners in crime?”All bullshit! ” Kelley spits out, hand clenching her chest, eyes ablaze blaring at Christen in horror and disgust.

Christen tightens her arms around Tobin and buries her face deeper into her. “I hate you. You started this.” She murmurs against Tobin's broad shoulder before lifting her head up and sending Kelley an apologetic look. Tobin chuckles, her mouth still pressed on Christen's tan skin.

“What?! How dare you accuse me of that? I just fed you with bacon and waffles, Kels! Isn't it enough manifestation of my love and loyalty?” Christen smiles, raising her brows up and down, trying her charm on her friend. Tobin giggles again before turning and facing a now pouting Kelley. They are still attached to each other though. Tobin's hands never leaving Christen’s waist no matter how awkward their position is. Christen leans the side of her head on Tobin, not wanting to miss the warmth of her body.

Kelley is about to say something when her phone blares off from her back pocket. “Saved by the bell.” Kelley mutters. She takes her phone out and brings it next to her ear, exiting the kitchen to answer the call more privately in the living room.

Christen takes a deep breath, pulling the hem of Tobin's shirt so they're now facing each other. Tobin brings her weight against Christen. Their fronts flushed, breasts against breasts only separated by the thin fabric of their clothes, arms around each other's waist. Tobin's staring at her fondly. Her brown eyes reflecting love and adoration.

Christen’s chest leaps, her breathing becomes rapid, and she feels butterflies in her stomach. She could stay like this with Tobin for the rest of their lives. She wouldn't ask for more. Overwhelmed by emotions, she leans in to attach her lips to Tobin's and melts into the kiss. It's tender and relaxing. Tobin tastes like coffee, a little bittersweet, and salty remnants of bacon. It's not really an ideal combination but it's slowly addicting Christen for no logical reason other than it's what Tobin's mouth tastes like. She runs her hands up and down Tobin's back, letting Tobin know she's enjoying this intimacy. Tobin breaks the kiss only to move her mouth at the crook of Christen's neck. Christen tilts her head, giving Tobin more access. Tobin bites down hard then sucks right after to soothe the sting.

“Ughh Tobin…” Christen mumbles. The mixture of pain and pleasure is driving her insane. 

“You're so perfect.” Tobin whispers in between sucking and licking tan skin. Her hand leaves Christen’s side and hastily crawls underneath the hem of Christen's shirt up to her breast. She cups Christen to which Christen can only respond through guttural moans.

“Tobin…I want you so bad.” Tobin’s fingers find Christen’s nipple. She twitches the sensitive nerve between her thumb and index finger. “Fuckkk...” Christen groans, falling her head on Tobin's shoulder and biting down to minimize the sound of her arousal.

“Yeah? How bad? Tell me how bad you want me.” Tobin’s voice is husky and filled with want.

“I'm so wet right now.” Christen barely breathes out, too immersed in the assault of Tobin's warm rough fingers on her aching nipple. She grabs Tobin's arm and leads her hand down to the puddle between her thighs. She spreads her legs apart and pushes her hips forward. She wants to be touched right then and now. But before Tobin's hand can even reach its desired destination, they're interrupted by stomps fast approaching the kitchen. Christen pushes Tobin to the side and fixes her shirt. Her breathing is still labored and she shakes the lust off her eyes. 

But she wasn't quick enough though because Kelley’s already by the door, covering her eyes with her hands.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, can you please hold the sex around innocent children?” Kelley leaps to the counter and clumsily grabs her sling bag. “Anyway, I gotta go. Wonder Woman is needed back in the hospital. Thanks for breakfast, Chris. And Tobin we're not done yet.” Kelley walks fast to leave, not glancing a second at them, afraid she might see something she'll regret.

“And oh!” She pauses midway and turns back, eyes closed, still not looking at Tobin and Christen. “Tobin, you're going with Chris to my party on Friday.” She plainly states.

“What par---”

“Her annual coming out party, remember?” Christen cuts Tobin off.

“Oh that.” Christen doesn't miss the uncertainty in Tobin's voice.

“Okay, I really gotta go now and you're now free to resume whatever that kink you're trying on the sink.” Kelley teases before turning around and bolting out of Christen's apartment.

Christen reaches for Tobin's waist and pulls her back again. Tobin's fallen silent and looks like spacing out.

“Hey, babe. What's wrong?” Christen inquires, worried about the change in Tobin's demeanor.

“Are you sure it's okay for me to be there? I mean, all your friends will be at the party too and I don't know…I don't think they'll be as forgiving to me as Kelley.” Tobin lets her guard down and spills what's bugging her to Christen.

“Baby, listen. I know my friends, okay? And they know I love you and if my happiness means a lot to them, which I don’t doubt a bit, they'll welcome you back. They'll be happy you're making me smile again.” Christen assures Tobin. She might be right though. Some of her friends might find it hard to liking Tobin again. They might even doubt her intentions but Christen is also positive they'll be supportive of her happiness and give Tobin another chance for her sake.

“But if you really don't feel like doing it, if it makes you uncomfortable, we don't have to go. We can stay in bed and cuddle. It's even more fun.” Christen adds, trying to ease off the weight of Tobin's concern. As much as she wants Tobin to get into the good side of her friends again, the last thing Christen wants is to pressure Tobin to doing something that bothers her. 

“No, you're right. I’m going. We're going.” Tobin says, sounding so sure and resolved. She meets Christen’s eyes and scoops her face. “I want this to work, Chris. I want to be a part of your life again and if it means having to face the wrath of your friends, then I'll do it. I promised I’ll sweep you off your feet again, woo you back and I guess it also means I must court and woo your friends, too. They're pretty part of the deal, I guess.” Tobin grins, her perfect white teeth tempting Christen to run her tongue against them.

“Babe, that's so hot.” Christen’s voice is deep, filled again with want. “C’mere.” She brings her hand behind Tobin's head and pulls her in to another kiss.

 

“Oh look who's come and grace the gym this morning!” Julie jokes as Christen enters and pushes the door behind her close.

“I am really sorry, Jules.” Christen sends Julie an apologetic smile. Although she has called and texted a couple of times explaining herself, she still feels bad for putting all the responsibilities of running the gym for the past few days on Julie’s shoulders.

Christen hasn't been in the gym since Monday and she's been missing her early morning yoga classes for three days. She had just a lot in hands to juggle. It's quite a week in the community college. She's been asked to officiate their departmental induction, deliver a speech during the annual gatherings of Philosophy majors, and give a two-day lecture to a class of seniors in a nearby high school as part of their department’s community outreach. Above all that, Christen has been staying in Tobin's place since Saturday night. And it's been keeping her really busy.

After Kelley left Christen’s apartment last Saturday morning, Tobin had persuaded Christen to helping her furniture shopping after lunch. Sighting Christen has an imperative pair of eyes for interior design. They found themselves later in a home depot. They bought a TV rack, a comfy dark blue couch, a wooden book shelf and a medium size painting of surf boards to accentuate Tobin's living room, giving it a little life. Tobin also grabbed a few pillow cases, sheets, and comforters, and just before they left, got a hold on a hover board out of nowhere.

Later that day, Tobin drove them to her place instead at Christen’s. She argued Christen should help her put the painting on the wall and change her old pillow cases and sheets with the new ones. But they didn't do much of those. The only thing they were able to accomplish that night were heavy make outs that tested their patience and self-control. In spite of Christen’s enticement, Tobin still refused to lift up her self-imposed abstinence. It got them both frustrated every time they had to stop because they were halfway crossing the line.

Christen thinks it’s too much, even stupid because they've had sex before, god they’ve lived together. What's keeping them now? But Christen also knows she has to respect Tobin's wishes. So Christen willed herself instead to ignore the growing frustration between her legs, internally cheering herself that she can wait.

Christen spent the night over, tangled with Tobin under the sheets. Since then, Christen hasn't gotten home.

 

“Earth to Christen!” Julie snaps her back to the present. She doesn't realize she has completely spaced out, lost in her thoughts of Tobin. 

“How's it been going here?” Christen scans the place for half a second before putting her duffel bag on her table. She can feel Julie's eyes digging a hole at the back of her head.

“I haven't seen you since…” Julie trails, thinking of a better way to finish her sentence.

Christen cringes, turning around and meeting Julie's stare. They haven't seen each other since Saturday morning when she was jogging up the stairs and tugging Tobin behind. Her cheeks and neck turn rosy remembering how Julie dropped her gardening tools by the sight of her and Tobin shamefully making out in public early in the morning.  
“…since last weekend. And oh, no worries. Everything's been great.” Julie continues.

“Thanks, Jules. I owe you big this time.” She pulls a tie out and brings her hair in a bun. “I'm not yet late for my class, am I?”

“Sit down. I have someone else cover your shift today because you and I, miss love bug, have an important business to discuss.” Julie smirks. She leans back on her seat and crosses her arms, eyes darting on her. Christen regards her with an innocent, confused look.

“C’mon Chris, don’t play dumb. What was that with Tobin this weekend? And you disappeared for days, huh? I haven't even seen you come home. Did she lock you up in her sex den? Spill! I'm dying here.” Julie fidgets in her seat. Obviously unable to contain her excitement any longer. 

Christen chuckles and shakes her head. Of course, here comes the girl talk. It's silly of her to think Julie's just gonna let her off the hook. She fills her in about what happened in the café and what they've been up to the past days. Why she hasn't gone home and how Tobin is killing her with this whole taking it slow deal.

“Ugh so no sex den?” Julie looks disappointed.

“Nope.” Christen replies, dragging the word out from her lips. 

“But seriously Chris, didn't she explain why she wanted some time off?” Julie asks. Her teasing tone abruptly changes to serious. 

Christen has fallen silent. No, they haven't covered that part yet because…Christen can't think of any reason why she hasn't asked this to Tobin or why Tobin hasn't brought it up. “No, I don't think it still matters. We just want to move on. Let bygones be bygones, you know.”

“I'm not sure, Chris. I think you have to address her previous issues first before you can move forward with your relationship. It'll just come haunting you both sooner or later if you leave it unresolved.” Julie sincerely warns.

Christen tries to absorb this. Julie is right. If they're gonna start again, they have to do it the right way.

“I mean, we just got back. It's just been days, you know. But yeah, you're right, Jules. We can't start over again without fixing things first.” She breathes deep. “I just missed her a lot, you know. And I don't know it's just that talking is the last thing on the list of things I want to do with her right now.” Christen can't help the grin on her face.

“Hmmm naughty Pressy.” Julie quips, earning a laugh from the both of them. The seriousness of their conversation now easing off. “So where was she when you were taking some time off? You said she left the city.” Julie inquires once their laughter died down.

“In Florida.”

“Alone?”

“Not really. She stayed at a friend's.”

“A friend?”

“Yeah, just a friend, Jules. Actually, she's Ali's girlfriend.”

“You mean Ash?”

“Yeah, Tobin has been friends with her since college.”

“So what did she do there?”

“I don't know. Surf? Think about us? Have some time with herself?”

The twenty questions with Christen goes on until it's time for Christen to leave for her afternoon class at the community college. She gives Julie a tight embrace and promises to continue their chitchat the next day.

 

The rest of the day passes in a blur. She doesn't feel like giving a lecture, so she opts to giving her class a group work instead and spends her time at her desk daydreaming, contemplating on her conversation with Julie, thinking ways of how to get Tobin into talking.

She sends Tobin a quick text before driving back to her apartment for the first time since Saturday.

 **Christen Press:** I’m heading home now. How's work?

When Tobin doesn't respond immediately, Christen sets her phone down on the passenger’s seat. She's halfway to her place when her phone lights up. She grabs her phone as she halts the car on a red light.

 **Tobin Heath:** Terrible. I can't concentrate thinking about you. I miss you.

Christen giggles, thinking she's being ridiculous, acting like a teenager who easily gets butterflies from a simple text her girlfriend has sent her.

Christen doesn't get a chance to text back though as the traffic light turns green again. She reaches her apartment and parks in record time. She grabs her phone and bolts out the car, too eager to send Tobin a reply. 

**Christen Press:** I miss you, too. Pick me up tomorrow morning?

This time Tobin responds quick.

 **Tobin Heath:** Chris, I can't. Maybe some other time?

Christen's bowels drop. Her smile immediately fades.

 **Christen Press:** Okay

She puts her phone in her back pocket and takes the stairs up. Apparently, Tobin doesn't seem to miss her that much. She feels something twisted in her chest and pool of tears starts to fill the corners of her eyes. She doesn't want to be possessive and over clingy but they haven't talked or spent the entire day together since leaving Tobin's place this morning for work. She thought Tobin might have wanted to get breakfast with her tomorrow, even dinner tonight. Well, she was wrong. The wheels in Christen’s head start to turn.

 _Maybe Tobin thinks we're moving too fast. Maybe she still wants some time. Dammit! I shouldn't have stayed in her place for days. I should've known better than make her feel pressured, suffocated._ Christen overthinks.

She takes the last step up to her apartment, feeling numbed while thinking she's fucked up again. She pulls out her keys from her pouch. Her hands are shaking and she's struggling inserting the key into the hole. It doesn't help that she remembers Tobin kissing her neck the last time she's unlocking her front door from the outside.

Christen is startled by a tight grip on her waist. She's suddenly spun around, meeting a pair of happy hazel brown eyes and a blinding grin. Tobin leans forward, capturing her lips. When she doesn't kiss back, Tobin pulls out and stares at her with a concerned look.

“Babe, what's wrong?” Christen sees panic in her eyes. 

“Why are you here?” Christen sounds more annoyed than she intends. Tobin steps back and rubs the back of her neck.

“Aren't you happy…I mean, I missed you and I thought maybe I should come by and take you out later for dinner. I was already on my way here when I got your text. I'm sorry I came here without notice. I should've asked if it's okay but I wanted to surprise you with this.” Tobin rambles, handing her a bouquet of assorted flowers that she's hiding at her back. They're lovely, mostly of shades of sunset orange and spring pink. Christen takes the bouquet and brings it to her nostrils. Her chest expanding as she breathes in their sweet and fresh smell.

“No, it's okay. I was just surprised. I thought you were busy. I asked you to pick me up tomorrow, you said you couldn't.” Christen stutters. “Thanks for this. I love them.”

“You didn't read my texts, did you?” Tobin cocks her head to the right. She steps forward again and circles her arms around Christen’s waist.

“No, I didn't. Wait, lemme just…” She pulls her phone out and sees two unread messages from Tobin.

 **Tobin Heath:** Babe, I can't pick you up tomorrow morning when I'll be spending the night over at your’s ;)

 **Tobin Heath:** Hey pretty, look behind you

Christen chuckles. She's been senselessly worrying the entire time, not knowing Tobin's just trailing behind with a surprise bouquet of flowers. 

“I'm sorry. I was deep in my thoughts.” She hands her keys to Tobin and sniffs the flowers, breathing in the scent of nature once more. “Open the door?”

Tobin forwards and unlocks the knob, stepping aside to let Christen walk in first. Christen turns around halfway and plants a chaste kiss on Tobin's mouth, before grabbing her by the collar.

“C’mon hurry, this deserves an award.” Christen swiftly turns her back into her apartment, tugging Tobin behind. Tobin smirks, kicking the door shut, too eager to claim her reward. Dinner can wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think down below...


	5. Crazy Kink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Christen attend Kelley's notorious Annual Coming-Out party. Christen bumps into an unexpected guest (?)

Everybody knows Kelley's annual coming out party is the shit. The freckled girl fills her apartment with black, silver, and gold balloons, rainbow lanterns hanging from the ceiling, glow in the dark unicorn stickers, party blowers, empty and half drank beer, red solo cups, tequila and vodka bottles, boxes of pizza and donuts, taco wrappers, paper plates with half-eaten cake slices, face paints of assorted colors and glitters, a gigantic inflated number 7 plastered on the wall indicating Kelley's 7th year coming out anniversary, and kegs like it's some sort of a college sorority house party. To say it's a chaos is downplaying and almost an insult. But it's a beautiful kind of chaos and mess. People are gathering around each other, laughing, getting drunk, sharing fun stories, and having a great night. 

Christen leans her back against the wall near the hallway. She's bobbing her head to the song currently playing in the background.

 _I ordered sex for breakfast_  
Texting all my exes  
_On some Kanye West shit_  
_Good morning_

Christen’s eyes linger on Tobin. She's standing across the living room, animatedly chatting with some of their friends who have gathered by the couch. She looks relaxed and chill in her white ripped skinny jeans and red Nike tops that perfectly fits her broad shoulders. She chugs her beer occasionally and laughs at something, showcasing her blinding white teeth. Christen’s chest swells. She almost can't believe everything falls perfectly back to what they used to. She's smirking at herself for ever thinking this night could go wrong simply because her friends might be hostile toward Tobin.

Before walking in the party a while ago, they had spent a couple of minutes more inside Tobin's jeep. Half of it was because they couldn't stop making out and touching each other and the other half was Christen was trying to assure Tobin that it would be totally fine if they skip the party and drive back to Christen's apartment if the party bothered Tobin. But Tobin was insistent and determined to face her friends again no matter what.

So when they finally came in and met everyone, to Christen’s delight and Tobin's relief, Tobin was welcomed back genuinely and wholeheartedly. She was pulled in a couple of times for warm hugs and kisses on the cheek. People kept telling her she's been missed terribly.

Tobin smoothly fell into deep conversations with everyone. Christen’s friends didn't bitch on Tobin and didn't give her a hard time. They talked and laugh and finished bottles after bottles of beer with Tobin. It's as if two months ago the same people didn't swear to kick Tobin's ass and shave her head bald the moment they see her.

Maybe it's just really hard to hate on Tobin. It's almost impossible for someone to stay mad at her for more than a day. She has this innate charm that is so hard to resist. But maybe it's also because these people are not just Christen’s friends anymore. A lot in Christen's circle have become friends with Tobin as well in the two years that they've been together. They have grown fond of Tobin's easy-going character, her love for Harry Potter, dogs, skateboarding and surfing, her cool and effortless fashion, and her bland sense of humor and corny jokes.

In spite of this, it still surprised Christen how Tobin was easily accepted again. No one even berated them when they royally arrived late, coming in the party hand in hand when everybody's already looking close to passing out.

Christen chuckles and blushes remembering exactly why they were late. Tardiness is not in her nature. Everyone knows that. But it was an eventful night for her and Tobin back in her apartment and if only Kelley wouldn't lambast, rebuke, and cast her off, she would rather spend the rest of the night tangled in bed with Tobin.

 

Wanting to spend more private time, Tobin and Christen had both decided to pregame alone together in her apartment instead of joining their friends who were also going to Kelley's. Christen was opening a bottle of wine by the sink while Tobin was busying herself choosing a nice song in her playlist across the kitchen. Christen smiled when Tobin's favorite song started playing.

_I don't care about an argument I'd still be here tomorrow_  
_For you_  
_I got a room up in the city we can play finish a bottle_  
_I pour you up, we'll work on us_  
_Cause ain't nobody taking my baby_  
_I wanna be clear I'm staying right here_  
_Cause ain't nobody taking my baby_

She felt a pair of firm hands gripping her hips from behind. Tobin planted a soft kiss at the back of her shoulder while guiding and swaying their hips together to the rhythm of the song. Christen set the wine bottle down, finally deciding that it was impossible for her to do any task when all she could think of was Tobin's warm breath ghosting her neck and her fingers slowly skimming underneath the hem of her shirt. She titled her head up to give Tobin a better access to the length of her neck and shoulder. She shivered and let out a moan when Tobin’s hot tongue licked her skin and then sucked hard on the same spot. Christen held herself against the sink, searching for support. Tobin's ministrations were making her weak to the knees.

Tobin's right hand crawled slowly underneath her shirt and played with her navel for a moment before proceeding up to its intended destination. She pulled Christen’s bra down without further preamble and scooped her breast. Her warm palm massaging Christen in frenzy and ways that made her dizzy and her heart rate rattled.

“I want you right now.” Tobin murmured in between sucking and biting. Christen felt a dam opened in her thighs. Her underwear now damped with want and lust.

“Tobin please.” Christen pleaded. She grasped Tobin's hand that's gripping her waist and guided it down to the inside of her thighs. “I want to feel you here.” She ordered.

Tobin shook her hand free from Christen and worked to unbotton Christen’s short, hastily pulling the zipper down right after. Christen gasped loud when Tobin roughly scooped her. She ran her fingers along Christen’s folds ever lightly, but not putting significant pressure on the spots Christen was dying to be touched.

“You're so wet.” Tobin was also panting. Her head now resting at the top of Christen’s shoulder. She had long abandon her attack on Christen’s neck.

“You sure you rea—fuckkk” Christen was cut off by the force of Tobin's firm, long fingers pushing inside her opening. She bowed her head down to the sink at the sensation. It was a mix of pleasure and pain and joy.

“Fuck, babe. I missed this.” Tobin panted out. Her fingers remained still inside. Christen couldn't form words. She's biting her bottom lip to tone her scandalous moans down.

“Spread.” Tobin ordered. She slowly pulled her fingers out. Christen opened her legs wider. Tobin's right hand now supporting her waist, no longer cupping her breast.

“Aaahh fuck!” Christen cried out as Tobin started pumping in again without telling a word, taking her by another surprise. She brought her head up and tilted to her side. “Kiss me, kiss me.” Christen begged to which Tobin complied. 

“Oh god! Shit! Fuck! Faster!” Christen let out a series of cursive words. She grabbed the faucet, seeking for support. Tobin finger-fucked her relentlessly, swallowing Christen’s cries of pleasure in her mouth.

“Yeah, you want it harder? More?” Tobin's voice was deep and low. Her front now grinding against Christen's back. Her fingers more rough and rapidly pumping in and out. “Come for me, come for me.” Tobin twisted her wrist so she could angle her thumb perfectly against Christen’s throbbing clit. She circled around the bundle of nerve, putting just enough pressure to drive Christen off the edge. 

“Baby don't stop I’m coming I’m coming I’m so clo—aaahhh ugghhh.” Christen held her breath. She stiffened and shut her eyes closed. Tobin continued to fuck her hard and didn't stop. Christen felt like losing her mind completely. The satisfying feeling in her folds and clit was fading, slowly turning into pure pain and ache. She grasped Tobin's hand, signaling that she couldn't go any further.

“Tobin please…Tobs…” Christen pleaded. She flopped down against the sink, too spent. Every nerve in her tweaking, still hypersensitive after her orgasm.

“Are you okay?” Tobin pulled out her fingers carefully and turned her around so they were facing. Christen could only nod. She willed her eyes to open and was met with a pair of amused hazel brown staring at her intently. She wrapped her arms around Tobin's neck. Not sure if she could stand on her own without external support.

“Oh. My. God. That was so good.” Christen breathed out, lips apart trying to catch some air.

“I'm sorry that was quick. It's been so long since.” Christen apologized when breathing became easier.

Tobin smirked, her eyes alighted. “It's okay. Can you just...” She raised her hand and inserted her fingers to the space between Christen’s lips, urging her to taste herself. Christen slowly opened her hot mouth wider and encased Tobin's fingers without breaking eye contact with Tobin. She swirled her tongue around them, sucking the saltiness of her own juice. She felt Tobin shivered and groaned. She grabbed the back of Christen's head and guided it slowly back and forth to her fingers. They both grunted. The familiar pull at the bottom of Christen’s stomach coming back again too soon.

Tobin took her fingers out from Christen’s mouth and replaced it with her eager lips. Their tongues danced and fought for dominance. Christen pulled back a minute later so she'd have a better angle to Tobin's tongue, sucking it to Tobin’s delight. Tobin brought their hips even closer. They're eagerly rubbing against each other's fronts.

“Chris, wait.” Tobin broke the kiss and pushed back. Christen was biting and kissing on Tobin's jaw, not wanting things to cool down. “Christen, baby listen.” Tobin was fighting the heat and needing at the bottom of her stomach and the urge to just get back to business with Christen.

Christen looked up. Her eyes hooded with desire and adoration. “Let me make you feel good, too.” She kissed Tobin tenderly, trying to channel her love to the other girl. Tobin kissed her back as passionately. There was no lust and want in the kiss this time. Just pure love and emotions. 

Tobin broke the kiss again and looked straight in her green grey eyes. “Christen, will you be my girlfriend?” She asked in full resolved and determination like she knew even before asking that Christen would never reject her. 

Christen's eyes started to swell and tears of joy rolled down over her cheeks. She didn't know if she heard Tobin right or if it's just her cruel imagination playing games with her again. When she failed to respond, Tobin shook her out of her thoughts and spoke again.

“Christen, I know I’ve hurt you a lot and I don't deserve you after that but I want to start all over again with you. If you want to. Please be my girlfriend, Chris.” This time Christen was sure she heard Tobin clear and right. The only response she could only make though was a frantic nod and a clumsy kiss on Tobin's agape mouth and swollen lips.

Once she had settled and grounded herself back from the frenzy. Christen spoke out. “Yes, I want to be your girlfriend again. Geez I waited so long for this.” They both giggled as they brought themselves to another kiss.

“Is your offer still up?” Tobin inquired. She's raising her brows up and down and biting her bottom lip, sending meaningful and suggestive looks at Christen.

“What offer?” Christen was confused. She didn't know what offer Tobin was talking about.

“Umm, you making me feel good, Chris.” Tobin blushed, placing a soft kiss at the tip of Christen’s nose and pulled at her shorts.

However, just before Christen could say anything Christen’s phone rang in full blast from the table and startled them.

Tobin stepped back and walked toward the table, checking who might be calling. “Chris, it's Kelley.”

“Ignore it.” Christen just shrugged and came forward to Tobin's direction. She took the phone and ended the call. “We have our own business here, don't we?” She smiled seductively and grabbed Tobin's hand. 

They were on their way out to the living room when Tobin's phone started blaring out too from her back pocket. “Umm, it's Kelley.” She chuckled, bringing the phone in Christen's face so she could see Kelley's grinning caller ID. Christen rolled her eyes and snatched the phone from Tobin, turning it off.

“Problem solved. We should really set our phones on Do Not Disturb mode when we're together.” She smirked then tugged Tobin again to her bedroom. They were making a turn to the hallway when a loud knocking halted them to their feet.

“Are you fucking kidding me!” Christen threw her hands up. She had had enough. Why couldn't the world leave them alone tonight even just for a few minutes to enjoy each other? It had been over two months since she had tasted Tobin and the one night she could finally do it again, the universe was acting up like a bitch to her, twat swatting her in the process.

“Tobin! Stop keeping Christen hostage! Open up!” Julie yelled from the other side of the front door like a SWAT member raiding. Christen shook her head and chuckled. She couldn't believe this was happening to them. Tobin squeezed her hand tight.

“We have plenty of time for this.” Tobin whispered then kissed her on the cheek. She walked towards the door, dropping Christen’s hand along.

“Am I getting arrested?” Tobin joked as she swung the door open. The blonde was wearing a black tight jeans, simple floral tops, and very mild make up. She had her arms crossed while eyeing conspicuously back and forth between Christen and Tobin.

“No but Kelley might get you killed. She's pissed. She said none of you was answering her calls.” She scanned Christen, head to toe. Christen looked disheveled and disoriented. Her bra was still askew. Her zipper and button were hanging open. “I see it now why. You might wanna…” Julie pointed at Christen and gestured down to her shorts. “fix yourself. Try to be more presentable.” Julie smirked. She reached for Tobin's hair and shuffled it playfully. “You too, Tobs-Tobs.”

 

“You might wanna keep it in the bedroom.” A familiar voice with a thick Spanish accent surprises Christen from the left side. Christen snaps out of her thoughts. Vero is grinning wide while walking towards her. “I know that look very well, Miss Press.” She stops a foot or two from Christen and winks at her.

“What look? Wait, what are you doing here?” Christen blurts out, not hiding her shock from seeing Vero tonight.

“Oh, not so happy to see me, Pressy?” Vero steps back, allowing more space between them and cocks her head then exaggeratedly pouts, pretending to be hurt by Christen’s harshness.

“No, I'm sorry. It's just…why are you here?” Christen reiterates her previous question.

“See that blonde girl dancing next to O’Hara over there? I'm dating that chick.” Vero proudly tilts her head toward the center of the living room where a bunch of people are chatting and semi-dancing, bobbing their heads to the beat of the song. “She works with Kelley at the hospital. She brought my holy presence here to grace this party.” She continues and takes a long swig of her beer.

Christen examines the girl across the room just near where Tobin's situated. She's wearing a cute dark blue dress that fits her curves perfectly. She's raising the beer in her hand while swaying her hips, playfully brushing her bums occasionally against Kelley’s side. They are surrounded by their coworkers in the hospital who are, by their mere looks, equally drunk as them. Not bad. She'll give Vero's girlfriend a seven.

“Wait, what did you say?” Christen’s eyes are wide and fierce as realization hits her. Vero's brows furrow, confused to Christen’s sudden rage.

“Said what?” Vero asks, prolonging each word more than necessary.

“Vero, you said dating…” Christen whispers in between clenched teeth. “Did you have a girlfriend when we…” Christen trembles, eyes full of fear, jaws shaking. She looks at Tobin before continuing, just making sure she's nowhere near them to overhear. “you know, that night. Did you cheat? On your girlfriend?” She finishes, voice so low she hardly hear herself.

“Oh…Oh!” Vero laughs hard. Christen is thankful that no one seems to be paying them attention, too engrossed in their own business at the moment.

“What! Did you?” Christen’s mind is running a mile a minute. Did Vero cheat on her girlfriend with her? Embarrassment and loathe slowly crawl up her spine, eating her up inside. It's already bad enough that she slept with Vero during her break with Tobin and has not—will probably never confess to Tobin about it for as long as she can keep it a secret. Knowing Vero possibly had a girlfriend when it happened and that she's in the same place as Christen and Tobin tonight, breathing the same air, chatting with the same people, bobbing their heads to the same songs, turn Christen’s bowels upside down. She feels like throwing up right then in front of Vero. Vero who is annoyingly looking at her with amusement and disbelief.

“Hey Chris, relax. You're doing it again. Stop overthinking, okay?” Vero shakes her arm, pulling her out from her ugly thoughts.

“Relax? Vero you chea—”

“Chris, no. C’mon you really think this face cheats?” Vero looks at her with adorable puppy eyes. She's gripping her chest again. “Listen, it's funny cause we actually started seeing each other literally just after we hook u—”

“Oh okay, You didn't—That's good. That's good. Save the rest. I don't have to know all the details.” Christen doesn't let Vero finish, doesn't want to be reminded by Vero herself that that night really happened.

“Up.” But Vero whispers ever lightly, finishing her sentence.

“Shut up!” Christen throws her a death glare. They fight each other in a staring battle before both of them break into a fit of laugh at how hilarious they are.

“I didn't know it's Kelley's party, by the way.” Vero tries to explain her presence again. But Christen knows it's her way of diverting their topic away to avoid further awkwardness. Vero wipes the corners of her mouth with the back of her hand. Christen furrows her brows, giving Vero a knowing look.

“Really…” Christen suspiciously says. Vero had been in Kelley's coming out party before. She had invited her twice, pre-Tobin time, when they were still dating. So she's doubtful if the Spaniard was really telling the truth that she didn't know whose party she's been invited to.

Vero caught the skepticism in her voice and jumps immediately in her defense.

“I've long forgotten Kelley's party. It's been years since the last time I was invited, you know.” She pokes the side of Christen causing a surprise giggle from the tan girl.

“Vero stop!” Christen playfully swats Vero away. Her face is stretched by a smile.

“Fine. Hey so I’m gonna get more of this.” Vero raises her empty bottle of beer. “Do you wanna come with?”

“No, I’m fine here.” Christen replies, thinking it won't be appropriate if they act extra close. She can allow herself to small talks with Vero and be civil, even friendly, but there are still some boundaries to be observed between them especially when both of them are now in different relationships. 

“Umm, want anything? I can bring you—”

“No, she's good. But thanks anyway.” A low raspy voice butts in their conversation, cutting Vero off. Tobin appears next to Christen’s side, snaking her lanky arm around Christen’s hip and tugs towards her possessively.

“Okay, uh see you around.” Vero shrugs then waves at them, stepping aside to the kitchen area where the coolers are placed.

Christen pulls Tobin to her side so they are facing each other. “Look, somebody's a little tipsy.” She teases before leaning in to plant a gentle kiss on Tobin. Her lips taste sweet and bitter against Christen’s, possibly from the bottles of beer she's had tonight.

“And somebody's flirting with their ex.” Tobin quips, her lips still lightly pressed against Christen’s.

Christen is taken aback and pushes off. “Tobin!” She sounds half whining, half annoyed.

“Weren't you?” Tobin's eyes are on fire. Her grip on Christen's waist tightens.

“You're being incredulous. We're just talking. Exes can talk.” Christen defends herself. She's grateful that despite the alcohol, they are talking in a low tone, not loud enough for the others to overhear, and only gets drowned by the music in the background.

Tobin closes her eyes and breathes deeply. Her grip loosens a bit after a moment. When she reopens her pair of hazel brown, they are more calmed.

“I'm sorry. Yeah, I think I've already had a little too much booze.” She apologizes. She bows her head and tilts it so it perfectly fits the crook of Christen's neck.

“Tobs, you know it's just you, right? There's no one else I want. Just you.” Christen’s chest warms. If anything she can confess, it's her immeasurable love and devotion for Tobin. 

Tobin plants a kiss and bites down on her skin, making Christen grasp for air. Tobin presses her front deeper into Christen and slots her thigh between Christen's but Christen knows they can't do any thing further than that.

“Come on, let's get you sober up.” Christen pushes, willing Tobin and herself, especially herself, off the wall. She doesn't want to put on a show of them getting it on for everyone to enjoy.

She jogs towards the back porch, tugging Tobin behind and passing blurry faces on their way. “Hurry.” Her voice evidently restrained with anticipation and want.

She slides open the window door and shuts it closed soon after Tobin steps out with her.

“Is this the part where I claim your offer?” Tobin teases. Christen pulls her to the side where a white plastic chair stands in the corner, away from the sight of the people inside. Christen sits and holds Tobin's hips, slowly guiding her down to her lap. Their eyes locked in the dim, shining and only illuminated by the moonlight. Tobin runs her fingers through Christen’s dark hair, occasionally pulling and rhythmically massaging her scalp. Christen hums and closes her eyes, lost in the sensation. Tobin sluggishly moves her hips against Christen back and forth in a way that is very calming. It's sexual but not aggressive and urgent. Tobin leans down and kisses Christen’s cheek.

“You're so beautiful.” Tobin whispers, her breath is hot against Christen’s skin that's slowly showing goosebumps.

Christen doesn't know how long they stayed like that outside, at peace and content in each other's presence. When the numbing in Christen's thighs start to bother her, she reaches for Tobin’s face that's resting on her shoulder and rubs gently.

“We should get back inside. It's getting cold and Kelley's probably looking for us now.” Christen suggests.

When they stepped back inside the living room, the music has now died down to minimum and only a few people are left chitchatting and drinking. Vero is snuggled to her girlfriend on the couch. They are talking to one of Kelley's coworkers. Next to them is Kelley who's playfully twirling her index fingers through Vero's blonde. Julie is lost in her world with Zac, her insanely good looking football player boyfriend. Some who have stayed are friends of friends of friends that are all strangers to Christen.

Tobin pulls her to the corner where a leather red love seat is resting. “Let's eavesdrop from here.” She says in a low voice. She lowers herself to the cushion, twitching around until she finds a comfortable angle before tugging Christen down to her. Christen settles on Tobin’s in a bridal position. Tobin's hand is stroking up and down her back, while the other is laced in Christen’s fingers. Christen brings their intertwined hands to her lips, kissing the back of Tobin's hand.

“Can we just leave?” Christen attempts to lure Tobin to going home, eager to pick up where they left off in her apartment.

“Shhh…” Tobin shushes her. “Babe, can we stay a little longer? My eyes are still heavy from the booze.” Christen rolls her eyes. Until now Tobin is still a lightweight.

“Yeah sure, we can.” She rests her head on Tobin's chest and enjoys Tobin's warmth and scent that is a blend of beer and aqua mist of her perfume.

“Hey Vero, you haven't told us how you met Sam.” Kelley drunkly asks, still playing the blonde’s hair.

“Um…it's a long—” Vero trails, her voice strained and unsure. She sits up straight and looks at Kelley with panic eyes.

“Let me, let me! She's not so good at storytelling.” Vero's girlfriend interrupts. “We met like a month ago.” Vero tries to dodge her shoulder but the girl didn't budge. “Babe, stop. Anyway, she thought she sprained her wrist after banging her broken-hearted ex, who I found out later was a yoga instructor in town and is up to some shit kinks. Can y'all believe they fuck in the bathroom? In front of that girl’s ex’s picture posted on the mirror?” She snorts, pausing after talking a mile per minute. Christen lifts her head up from Tobin’s chest, sending daggers to Vero's direction through her eyes. “Crazy shit, right? So anyway, Vero rushed herself to the hospital and then it's like love at first sight…” Christen doesn't register the rest of her words. There's a deafening ringing in her ears and she feels like all eyes are on her except the girl’s who enthusiastically blindly continues her story.

Vero gets up from their seat and drags Sam outside to the back porch. The girl confusingly followed without putting a fight and complain, leaving a stunned Kelley O’Hara behind, mouth agape and staring blankly at the vacated seats.

Tobin has stiffened and has stopped rubbing Christen’s back. Christen feels Tobin’s breathing turns ragged and labored underneath her. The ambiance shifts from calm and chill to heavy and awkward. Silence envelops them. Neither one speaking first. Tobin pushes up later, making Christen bolts off from her lap.

Christen swallows a threatening sob and blinks her eyes rapidly. Her fear is coming to life. She pleadingly looks at Tobin who’s face is red and stern. Her eyes are hooded, not with lust but fire and rage. Tobin holds Christen’s hand. “Let's go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and lemme know what you think? Or what do you expect to see next:)
> 
> Also, already working on the next chapter:))


	6. Five Minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin confronts Christen about what really happened with her and Vero.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's game day! Hope this update serves as our gals lucky charm against France! And I'm sorry this took quite long than I expected. Life's a little crazy the last days.

Tobin detaches their hands the moment they stepped outside Kelley's apartment. Christen has given up fighting her tears from escaping. Her damped face glistens in the dark and she gets startled even to the sounds of her own sobs. Tobin hasn't said a word. She's walking fast without glancing back at her direction. She obviously picked up what Vero's girlfriend said in the living room but other than being quiet and not touching Christen, she's not showing any sign of anger and resentment toward her.

They reach the parking area in silence. Tobin circles around the hood of her Jeep to the driver’s seat, not even minding to open the door for Christen.

“Tobin…babe” Christen wipes her wet cheeks. She doesn't know what to say. All she knows is that she has to talk to Tobin, has to explain, needs Tobin to hear her.

“Get in the car.” Tobin's voice is void of emotions. It's plain and cold. It reminds Christen of that night when Tobin asked for them to take a break off and it frightens her. She doesn't want to go through that again. She shakes her head in protest and refuses to get in the passenger’s seat.

“Christen” Tobin calls from the driver's seat. She still hasn't looked at Christen. She's just staring blankly at the windshield. “Chris, get in the car.” She says so soft and low.

Christen gulps and closes her eyes before following Tobin inside the car. She realizes after standing for a while outside that it will be unwise to be stubborn and disobey Tobin's request and trigger her more. She clumsily buckles her seat, hands shaking, as Tobin pulls the car in reverse and navigates off the complex. They drive in silence except for the minuscule sounds her sob makes. Tobin has still not spoken a word to her nor glanced at her direction. Her sole focus is on the road.

“Is it true?” Tobin’s deep raspy voice breaks the quietness, rattling Christen from her seat. 

“Tobin,” Christen trails, sounding so small and defeated. 

“Yes or No.” Head bowed, Christen can only nod. Her embarrassment is drowning her down and her goddamn tears just won't stop rolling over her hot cheeks. Tobin doesn't speak until they are making a turn to Christen’s apartment complex. She parks the car in the only space left vacant.

“Why?” Tobin sounds restrained but firm and surprisingly not hostile. However, Christen still feels a knot in her stomach. Guilt and shame weaving through her innermost.

“Why what? What do you mean?”

“Why did you do it, Christen?”

“I was lonely and drunk. I was mad at you and I missed you so much—”

“So you let your ex fuck you.” The hollowness in Tobin's voice stabs like a knife in Christen’s chest. She can feel Tobin's stare digging a hole on her profile but she can't make herself face her. She doesn't want to see the betrayal and distaste, the pain and hurt she has caused on the girl she loves.  
Tobin unbuckles her seatbelt and quickly leaves the car. Christen follows suit outside, wiping the pool of tears off her face. Tobin's spacing back and forth. She's running a hand through her hair and the other balled in a fist.

“How many times did she fuck you, huh? Did you start fucking right after we broke up?” Tobin's spitting fire. "Was she like waiting for you to be single so she could fuck you again?" Christen flinches at her bluntness.

“No, it's not like that at all!” Christen counters. “It was only once!” Suddenly she feels an impending outburst in her chest.

“Once huh.” Tobin snorts. “I knew there's something between you. That one morning in the cafe, I could tell. I was just so stupid to ignore my hunch. Do you ever plan on telling me though? Or was it supposed to be your little dirty secret with Vero?”

“No...” Christen shakes her head. “I don't want you ever knowing about it. It's not something I am proud of. It's a mistake I don't want to share to other people. I didn't even tell Kelley, my best friend. If I had a chance to undo it I would but it's not possible. I just have to live with it now. I regretted it right after it happened, when I started sobering up and…” _And when I heard my phone ringing and I saw you calling._ But Christen keeps the last sentence to herself. She knows it will only worsen things if Tobin knows this detail.

“Well, now Kelley knows. Apparently, Vero has been bragging about fucking you. You must have performed so good.” Something inside Christen spurs and she can't possibly control it even if she wanted to. She's had enough. She knows she had done something stupid. But she also knows there was nothing wrong with her one-night hook up with Vero. Technically she didn't cheat on Tobin. They were on a break.

“I asked her not to tell anyone. I thought it was only between us. She even promised. What, do you think I liked it? Oh well, honestly, yeah. Yes. The fucking was so good, Tobin. So rough, so good. Vero was so great. I enjoyed it as much as she did! My god Tobin! We were on a break. I didn't cheat! And maybe if you didn't fuck us up, I wouldn't have had sex with my ex. It would've been YOU instead of her between my legs, fucking me hard so good but no. You had to search for whatever it was you felt missing in our relationship and be somewhere else. So don't blame me for getting drunk in a bar and fucking someone else when you're far and doing god knows what in Florida! Happy now?” She snaps, leaving her chest heaving for air and her pulse rate hike up.

“So that was it all about huh? Getting even? Getting back at me?” They are now yelling, not bothered whether anyone can hear them at the moment. 

“You just don't get it, do you? I was sad and lonely. You broke up with me. I was shattered. Nobody knew how to fix me. That one night at the bar, I just wanted to feel needed, adored and admired. I wanted somebody to fill the space you left, the emptiness in me. I wanted to forget about you and it just happened Vero was there, too.”

A deafening silence envelops them. It's driving Christen insane. Tobin has turned her back from her. Christen doesn't know how long they stayed like that. All she knows is that when Tobin turns around and faces her again, Tobin's eyes are puffy and she's blinking twice than the normal. Affirmatively holding back tears.

“You, you wanted to forget me.” It's Tobin’s turn to break into sobs. Her tears dampens her face in front of Christen. She tilts her head up to suppress more from falling down or to hide them from Christen. “Do you know how much it hurts to hear you say that, Chris? It hurts more than knowing you slept with somebody else.” She sounds so little and dejected. Her shoulders are slouched, her lips trembling.

“Tobin…” Christen steps forward and reaches for her. Christen's caught off guard. She didn't know this would happen. It pains her more than anything else to see Tobin like this. So lost. “Tobin, I didn't mean…it's not what I—.” 

“It means I've lost you.” She's so broken. Her voice is crooked and there's a hitch in her throat. The ever cool and chill Tobin Heath is now but a total wreck in front of Christen. But Christen doesn't take pride from it. It breaks her heart how she has pained Tobin.

“No, Tobin you didn't. I'm still here. I still love you. I'm in love with you.” Christen wraps Tobin in her arms tightly, trying to channel her emotions through the gesture. But Tobin remains motionless and stiffed as a stone against her touch. After what feels like forever, Christen pulls back and cups Tobin's face, willing her to look her in the eye.

“I told you before and I'm telling you now, it's just you. There's no one else I want. Just you.” Tobin can only manage to nod. Still too overwhelmed and defeated by her feelings. Christen wipes the tears rolling over Tobin's rosy cheeks and leans forward, planting a small and soft kiss on Tobin's forehead, moving down to the top of her nose, and slowly reaching south to Tobin’s shaking lips. Tobin softens against the touch and kisses back lightly after a minute or so.

“Now come on. Let's get inside. It's cold out here.” Christen tugs Tobin and leads her up the building to her apartment. Christen isn't met with any form of protest. Tobin just follows without resistance, letting Christen do all the work of mounting the stairs. Both of them are too physically and emotionally spent from the night's happening and revelations.

They pass the living room in a swift and reach Christen’s room in what feels like a blink. Tobin settles on the foot of Christen’s bed, wiping the remnants of unwanted and sad tears off her face. Christen scoots in front of her.

“Babe, I'm gonna get some water. I'll be back real quick, okay?” Tobin nods and gives her a lip-tight smile. Her eyes are still red and somber but at least the tears have stopped pouring. Christen reaches for the back of Tobin's neck and kisses the top of her head, inhaling the familiar lavender scent of Tobin’s shampoo.

She walks out her room thinking this night turned 180 degrees. She had thought of this scenario a hundred times, thinking of different and horrendous things each time but never did she came with something close to Tobin's actual overall reaction. She was displeased at first. That was understandable. What Christen didn't expect was for Tobin to feel more sorry for herself than mad at Christen. She never imagined she'd see fear and defeat in Tobin's eyes when her secret was revealed to her. She thought Tobin would hate her and would not even speak a single word to her anymore. Christen couldn't be more wrong though because Tobin is in her apartment at the moment and is waiting for Christen in her bedroom. That's in spite of what she learned.

She takes two cold bottles of water out from the fridge and strides back to her room. Tobin has already settled under the sheets of her bed.

“I already changed in your clothes. Mine stinks and itchy. I hope you don't mind.” Tobin explains herself.

“Tobs, don't explain. It's weird. You're my girlfriend. Of course you may wear my clothes any time you want.” Christen twists the lid of the bottle open before handing the water to Tobin who sits up and leans her back on the headboard. Christen opens her own and chugs half of the water. She didn't realize how dry her throat was until she's had her first drop of water since lunch.

Tobin hands her half-empty bottle. Christen puts it down on the top of the bedside table beside hers. She looks down on Tobin who's looking at her with heavy red eyes. The sight melts her heart. She's supposed to be the one feeling the pain in Tobin right now. Tobin doesn't deserve to be hurting like this. She settles down on her bed and touches Tobin's puffy face.

“I'll just get changed. I stink, too. Then we can cuddle. Is that alright?” Christen inquires, voice so kind and full of care.

“Yeah,” Tobin's only response as she lifts herself up and puts a gentle kiss on Christen’s lips. They both sigh in the kiss. Relieved that this night didn't turn as ugly and worse as it could be. Christen pulls back and hops off the bed, grinning like a fool on her way to her closet. She takes her shirt, skinny jeans, and bra off in a haste and pulls out an extra large shirt she loves to wear in her sleep, in record time too eager to cuddle with Tobin in bed. Or if she can be even luckier tonight, maybe she gets even more than just cuddles.

Christen half jogs back to her bed and gets under the sheets. Tobin has been watching her the whole time. Her eyes never left the tan girl. She scoots closer to Christen and finds comfort just beneath the space on Christen’s chest, nuzzling her scent and warmth. She throws her arm around Christen's waist and pulls her even closer to her, devouring any space between them that may separate them apart. Christen wraps Tobin in her arms, too. Her heart is beating rapidly out of joy and contentment. Now that the cat is out, there's nothing else to be afraid of. Nothing else to go in-between them.

Christen unconsciously slots her legs between Tobin's, making them exchange more body heat. Tobin is hot against Christen despite their clothes. Their breaths obviously have become more ragged and labored. Tobin tightens her grip on Christen's waist and ever lightly pushes her thigh against Christen's making her gasp for her dear life. It's too much for Christen though. She has poor self-control when it comes to having sex with Tobin and after the series of events tonight—the revelation, the confession, the argument and the making up, Christen has never been so turned on in her entire life.

She pushes herself back and moves on top of Tobin and crushes their expectant lips together. It's a bruising kiss, teeth clashing and hot tongues fighting each other for supremacy. Tobin moans in Christen’s mouth which only spurs her more. She starts grinding down Tobin. It's hot and dizzying. She feels lightheaded and whirly. But they are both purely acting over and driven by their natural carnal needs.

Christen doesn't waste no time. She pulls Tobin's shirt up signaling for it to go.

“Off.” She moans when it takes Tobin a while to react. “Fine, I'll do it myself.”

Christen is aggressive and needy. She strips Tobin naked with urgency and less sensual like there's a ticking bomb ready to explode soon. She throws her shirt and pair of shorts, and Tobin's underwear into the air. She takes a second to appreciate the beauty underneath her. Tobin's breasts aren't huge but Christen shivers at the sight of her nipples, hard and in their fullest erection.

Tobin tugs the back of her head and pulls her down for another kiss. Their hot mouths explore each other. Guttural moans and the wet sound of their lips parting and reconnecting echoing inside the room. Christen pushes up and takes her shirt off. She smirks at herself for not wearing undergarments, making it more efficient. Tobin’s warm palms cup the mounds of her breasts. Christen closes her eyes, savoring the sensation, engraving this moment in her memory. Their legs slot automatically in-between each other and Christen can't help but thrusts her core deeper, meeting Tobin’s wet, slick, hot folds.

They both grunt at the feeling. Tobin leaves Christen’s breasts and goes to gripping her by the midriff. Their eyes are darted to each other, green and golden brown, silently communicating and showing their feelings for each thrusts Christen makes. Tobin finds Christen’s ass and squeezes them tight, sending another wave of lust down Christen’s spine. She plants her hands on Tobin's side so she can add more force in her thrusts.

“Christen…oh my god, don't stop!” Tobin pleads, arching her groins up for more friction. Their clits rub and circle around each other in the most heavenly way.

“Don't shut your eyes.” Christen demands as Tobin can't help it, too immersed in the sensation to keep her eyes locked on Christen’s. “Baby, look at me.” Tobin opens her eyes. Small bids of moist slowly making their way down from its corners. Christen wants to ask what's the matter, wants to know if Tobin's fine but she can't stop now. Not when she's so close. And Tobin did tell her not to stop, didn't she? So she keeps on grinding and rolling her hips and pushes each other to their peaks.

“Tobs! Baby, fuck!”

“Fuck! Chris! Aahhh!” 

They both reach their climax at the same time. Christen flops down above Tobin. Their chests are heaving, breathless and seeking for air. Their limbs and legs are slick from sweat. Christen lifts her head up and examines Tobin carefully. Her eyes are shut and her mouth is agape but there's a small curve of smile in the corner of her lips. She's a mess, her hair ruffled and askew but she looks so satisfied.

“Baby, are you okay?” Christen speaks in her still labored breath. Tobin chuckles and shakes her head in the affirmative. She opens her eyes and locks them on Christen’s green.

“Yeah, I’m good. That was so good.” They both giggle, Christen giving Tobin a chaste kiss right after. “I'm sorry about that. It's just…I’m overwhelmed by too much emotions. You're right, Chris. It was my fault. It wouldn't have happened, nothing would've happened between you and Vero hadn't I—”

“Shhh…Tobin stop. I didn't mean it. And I don't wanna talk about it right now or ever. Let's just leave it in the past, please?”

“But Chris, I—“” Tobin tries to reason but Christen interrupts her.

“Tobs, I'm exhausted and I still wanna do lots of things with you tonight. So can we rest for a bit, have some sleep, then go again?” She leans down into Tobin's ear. “I wanna do bad things to you.” She whispers.

Christen swears even she is turned on by her tease. Tobin swallows down hard and stared at her intently, somewhat challenging her. But Christen knows she can't again. She's just human. It's too soon. She's still too spent and she knows Tobin has to regain her energy as well if they are going at it again and intend to doing dirty things.

“Slow down there, tiger. I don't think you can still go for another round in that condition.” Tobin's eyes are heavy, almost half-closed and she's already dragging her slender fingers that are running up and down Christen’s arms lazily.

“What did you say? Miss Press, I'm always up for round after round after round. Of all people you should know my sex stamina and endurance are imperative and—” Tobin is cut off by her own big, loud yawn. “...and humanly not possible.” She continues but Christen just rolls her eyes at her. She rolls off top of Tobin and snuggles deep into her.

“I'm way too tired than I thought. Just give me five minutes and we can go again.” She murmurs against Tobin's breast and not long after drifts off to sleep.

 

Five minutes. That's all Christen asked of Tobin to wait but Christen had underestimated her exhaustion. Didn't realize her body required her more than that. So it's really a few hours later that Christen has recovered consciousness from her slumber. However, when she opens her eyes she feels cold and alone next to an empty space in her bed. She squints her eyes, scanning the entirety of her room but no one’s there but her.

“Tobin?” She calls out. Her bathroom door is ajar and she can't hear the water running from the shower so she knows Tobin isn't there. Besides, she's 100% sure Tobin doesn't bathe early Saturday mornings. She smirks, hops off her bed, and picks up her extra large t-shirt and sluggishly puts it on. _Maybe she's downstairs in the kitchen._ She giggles. Tobin loves to surprise her with breakfast. _She still hasn't changed. God I love her._

She navigates through some articles of her clothing that are scattered on the floor but comes to a halt when she reaches the doorway and notices something odd. She examines the room again—the floor, the bed, each corners of it—squinting her eyes. All of Tobin's clothes last night are missing and Christen knows Tobin doesn't like to wear jeans in the morning when they are together because duh she's Tobin. She prefers just in her underwear and large shirt. Her girlfriend would walk naked outside if only the government does not forbid it.

Christen bolts out to the living room, almost tripping in her clothes. Her heart is pumping fast and there's a ringing in her ear. She reaches the room but it's empty and no signs of human activity going while she was asleep. _Tobin always watches sports in the morning no matter how hectic her schedule is. _She strides the small distance to the kitchen and finds it unoccupied as well. Sweats slowly form on her forehead. She dashes to the hallway back to her bedroom. Christen picks up her clothes and throws them over her shoulders, somewhat trying to find something on the floor. Finally she finds her purse and takes out her phone.__

__She sees Kelley's messages and calls from last night. She must have been worried. They didn't say goodbye when they left at the party. Christen scrolls down further, each of her fingers shaking. She pauses and her eyes dart on the single message that came from the person she's looking for, sent three hours ago._ _

**Tobin Heath:** _Christen, I’m sorry._

__Christen’s entire body is trembling from her uncontrollable crying. How could she not notice Tobin leave? Maybe because she was too drained and consumed. She failed to regain her strength in just five minutes like she had promised Tobin._ _

__

__While Christen was in deep slumber Tobin got up from the bed to pee in the bathroom. Christen was so asleep that she failed to see the guilt in Tobin's face and how her heart broke when she stared at their picture posted on the mirror. Christen was sound asleep when Tobin silently put her clothes back on, thoroughly careful not to cause any unnecessary movement and sound that might disturb her from the bed. Christen was still in dreamland when Tobin planted a kiss on her forehead and walked out the door, leaving her alone. Christen was dreaming of Tobin when Tobin took out her phone and sent her a message because Tobin couldn't bring herself, too weak and wasn't brave enough, to wake Christen up only to say good bye to her once again. Christen didn't see the flood of tears on Tobin's face as she closed the door of Christen's apartment behind._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment. I love them!


	7. Dancing in Limbo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelley gives Christen a mature advice, a rare occurrence in their friendship. Christen bumps into a mysterious woman, and Tobin is acting shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is quite a rush. The end part isn't really how I exactly envisioned it but whatever. Leave your comments down below and let know what you think. Thanks!

Christen presses the call button below Tobin's caller ID, struggling the whole time with her trembling finger. It takes some time before she hears the ringing on the other line. Tobin's phone rings thrice before it is cut off by a tone followed by a raspy voice. Christen jerks, surprised for a moment, her heart pumps fast at the anticipation. She clears her throat and braces herself, readying for Tobin and for whatever litany she has for Christen. She's too anxious to realize that Tobin isn't answering her call rather a recorded voicemail.

_Hey, umm so it's Tobin but I'm quite caught up in something at the moment. Leave a message though and I'll call you back later. Adios!_

She drops the call, feeling more broke from the inside. She navigates her phone and types one quick text message. Tobin might have turned her phone off but Christen doesn't care. She is taking all the possibilities no matter how slim her chances are.

Christen Press: Tobin, where are you?

She leaves it just like that, simple and direct, thinking she shouldn't panic and impose. Because maybe she's only overreacting and Tobin is just in fact somewhere getting them breakfast or running an important errand.

She keeps pacing back and forth in her room waiting for a reply. She pulls out a pair of white cotton shorts and puts it on. She stares at her empty bed in the middle of her room, the sheets are crumpled and strands of hair can be seen in the pillows. Images from last night with Tobin come flooding in her memory lane. She shuts her eyes close. She can still feel Tobin's chapped lips on hers, soft and tender but hot and demanding. She can still taste her tongue, sweet and intoxicating. She can still feel Tobin's warm grip on her waste, hear the pants and pleas she made below Christen’s ear. But Christen also remembers and still feels the hollowness of waking up to an empty bed and realizing right after that Tobin has left her. She clenches her chest at the sudden pang. The flood gates in her eyes are open again and she tries to compose herself, wiping the tears off her cheeks.

Christen checks her phone. Her message is left unread and unnoticed. Not giving up and testing her luck once more, she types another one and sends it quickly. This time it's a little longer and needy.

Christen Press: I miss you already. Babe, hurry come back.

She tucks her phone in her back pocket and scans the room. It's a mess and being a well-known OCD to her friends, Christen can't stand the chaos in front of her. She starts picking each of her clothes up from the floor, folds them carefully and delicately before putting them down in her laundry basket. She strides to her bed and pulls her sheet and nuzzles the fabric against her nostrils. She inhales Tobin's distinct scent that still lingers. Tobin smells like a mix of mist and lavender and powder with a hint of alcohol from last night's beer.

Christen brings the sheet down and smooths it out, picking strands of hair along the way and piling the pillows at the top side of the bed just at the foot of the headboard. It soothes her a bit that at least there's one thing in her life she knows how to fix in the midst of the uncertainty between her and Tobin.

Christen jerks when her phone beeps out loud jolting her back from her deep thoughts. She tucks it out from her back pocket excitedly, expecting for it to be Tobin's reply. But like in cliché movies and shows, Christen frowns out of disappointment when she finally sees whom the message comes from. She opens the thread of unanswered texts from Kelley along with several missed calls. A few of the messages are from last night checking on her when they left the party without saying good bye to their freckled friend. 

 

Kelley O’Hara: Chris? Where are you?

Kelley O’Hara: You didn't leave w Tobs, right?

Kelley O’Hara: Christen Annemarie Press!

Kelley O’Hara: Chris? Are you okay?

Kelley O’Hara: Christen, answer your phone.

Kelley O’Hara: You ain't dead yet, right?

 

Christen scrolls down and cringes reading the last text.

 

Kelley O’Hara: Honey, I'm coming over.

 

Christen knows that in times like this, someone can use a friend to talk to, to share their feelings with, have someone they can pour everything in their chests out to. But Christen remembers the scene on the couch last night. By now, Kelley has learned about her hooked up with Vero as well and as much as she likes some company and advice on what to do with Tobin, Christen knows Kelley is not going to just drop the subject off. Christen knows what she's about to face, an interrogation and flood of questions she has no energy left in her system to provide answers on. She's also not in the mood to handle a furious Kelley O’Hara freaking out because she had to learn about Christen’s one-night stand with her ex from a coworker. She's too exhausted and stressed to entertain Kelley's dramatics and shenanigans.

She types a reply politely declining her. However, just before she can shoot it to send a series of scandalous knocking on her front door halts Christen’s fingers.

“Oh, Princess, Oh Princess, lay down your hair!” Calls by a familiar voice.

Christen sighs and shakes her head. “There really is no escaping her.” She mumbles to herself as she walks out from her room down the hallway until she reaches her front door and twists the knob open.

“Where's your key?” Christen asks Kelley who is holding out a box of Dunkins to her and a cup of coffee on the other hand. She has a blinding grin stretched across her face but it contorts into a frown as soon as Christen’s swollen red eyes and somber face register to her.

“Hey, what's wrong?” Kelley asks, brows furrowing and voice full of concern and worry. Christen exhales deeply and takes the donuts and coffee from her friend.

“Thanks for these, you're the best.” Christen tries to sound glad and enthusiastic but she knows Kelley knows her better to be buying her pretense. She turns her back from her friend and sluggishly pads to the kitchen, Kelley following right after.

Christen puts the box of donuts down on the kitchen island and takes the lid off of the coffee cup, breathing in the therapeutic and calming aroma of the black liquid. 

“Where is Tobin? Is she around?” Kelley pries, neck craning to scan the place, looking for the lanky figure of the brown eyed girl. 

Christen rolls her eyes. “Cut the crap, O’Hara. I know why you're here.”

“Oh yeah? What if I tell you I'm just here to bring you treats cause I remembered you while ordering at the—”

“Stop beating around the bush or else you won't get any from me.” Christen warns, cutting off her blabbering friend.

“Okay, okay. But is Tobin really not here? She's not like lurking somewhere inside those cabinets, right? Cause I don't want her overhea—”

“No, Kel. It's okay. She's not around…” Christen trails and swallowing the lump in her throat before proceeding. “She left this morning.”

“Oh, so you slept together?” Kelley pries further. “I mean, she slept over last night?” Christen can only nod. The dams in the corners of her eyes are threatening to break free.

“So umm... you two good?”

“I don't know. She left just before I woke up.” Christen’s circling the edge of her coffee cup with her finger, not meeting the confused look of her friend.

“Chris, was it…was it true? You and Vero…” Kelley's stuttering, not wanting to be too blunt and intrusive.

“I slept with Vero about a month ago.” Kelley only nods lightly like she already knew it even before asking.

“Remember that afternoon you called inviting me to binge watch Santa Clarita Diet and I declined? Saying I had to stay at the community college overnight for research? I lied. I went to this bar and got drunk. Coincidentally, Vero was there, too.” Christen continues.

She fills Kelley in how the rest of the night went by, skipping majority of the explicit activities she and Vero shared, much to Kelley's dismay, and directly proceeding to the part where Tobin called her.

“I saw you two bolted out right after Vero dragged Sam to the back porch. I wanted to run after you, make sure you'd be fine but Em caught me and didn't let go of me the entire night. I texted and called but I never got a response. I was so worried Tobin would—”

“She won't hurt me. Tobin isn't like that Kel.” Christen cuts her off and scowls at her, offended that her best friend would even think of that of Tobin.

“But she was drunk last night and she was dragging you out, too.”

“She was not. She was just leading us out.” Christen reasons. She takes a sip of her lukewarm coffee.

“Stop defending her but okay, fine. She's not like that and I know it now.” Silence takes over them. Christen opens the box of donuts and picks up one. She takes a fleeting comfort from munching the sweet treat.

“How did she take it?” Kelley speaks first, breaking the awkward silence in the morning air. Christen swallows the chunk of donut in her mouth and takes a long sip of her coffee to wash it down her throat before speaking.

“She was furious at first. Accused me of jumping into Vero right after we took a break. But I explained and she calmed down. I thought she understood me.” Christen’s voice is so low, almost like she's only talking to herself.

Kelley nods unconsciously.

“She probably did…does. But it doesn't mean she has forgiven you right away, Chris.” Christen looks at her friend sorrily. Her eyes are now glossy and she's trying her best not to break into another fit of sobs.

“How could she not? We had sex last night, Kel!” Christen shakes her head and chuckles in between her sobs. “No it wasn't just sex, we made love. It wasn't just fucking, wasn't just angry sex. It was so passionate. I fell asleep on top of her chest thinking we were okay but when I woke up I was alone in bed. She didn't even wake me up. I only got a text that says she's sorry! What did she just like fake it? Hated me the whole time while we were doing it?” Christen has abandoned her half-eaten donut and she has pushed her cup aside. Small bids of liquid slowly drop on the surface of the kitchen island.

“I don't know, Chris. I can speculate and give you my two cents of the matter but only Tobin can tell what she exactly really feels. What she wants for the both of you from here. If after all she has learned she still wants you in her life.”

“How will I know? I tried calling her but I think she turned off her phone. I texted her too but I haven't gotten any response. She's doing it again, cutting me off.” Christen wipes the tears off her face with the hem of her shirt.

“Give her time. This isn't easy for her, Chris. Just put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if you find out from a stranger that Tobin slept with someone in Florida?” Kelley raises her brows and regards Christen with a knowing look.  
Christen balls her hands in a fist. After last night in her bed, feeling loved by Tobin again after a long time, the mere thought of someone else making love to Tobin is setting Christen on fire. Her chest warms and clenches and her stomach twists. Tobin is only hers.

Kelley laughs, throwing her head back. “Chris, relax. It's just a hypothetical situation.” She tries to calm her friend who has turned hot like a raging bull in a fighting arena.

“Not cool, Kel.” She scoffs at the freckled girl.

“See? It's not even true but you already look like killing someone.” Kelley puffs. “Listen, Chris. There's no better way to fix this than to talk. You two should—”

“I told you I tried contacting her but she's not answering my texts and calls.” Christen interrupts, raising her hands in the air out of frustration.

“Then go to her. You know where she lives, right? Talk to her in person. If she won't face you, bring your ass to her front door because she can't run away again this time.” Kelley calmly says. Christen ponders. It's so rare for Kelley to be on this level of mature adult talk but when she is there, she pretty much makes sense.

“I don't know, Kel. I'm starting to feel like I'm the only one who's putting effort in this, who wants this to work out.” Christen blurts out in frustration. She doesn't want to think Tobin is taking her for granted and is not into their relationship as Christen is. But she doesn't know what to think anymore. It's just been a week since they got back together and they're already back to fighting. And instead of trying to solve the problem, Tobin has chosen to elope, run away again and leave her to suffer. It's like they're just running in full circle.

“Think about it thoroughly. If you think Tobin's worth fighting for, worth this kind of pain and shit, go talk to her. If not, there's plenty of fish in the sea…but you're not a fisherman. You're a college teacher who also happens to be a yoga junkie so…” Kelley jokes, trying to lighten up the heavy air in the kitchen.

“I'm not a junkie!” Christen barks at her friend. “And that's a terrible joke even for you, Kel.” She chuckles.

“Whatever. Em said it was hilarious. Anyway, I hate to leave you but I got to go. I need to fetch something from the hospital.” Kelley gives her an apologetic look as she pushes the metallic stool behind her and hops off. She walks around to the other side of the kitchen island and pulls Christen into a hug. “Call me later, okay?”

“Yeah, I will. And thanks Kel for listening. But most especially for the donuts and coffee.” Christen gives Kelley one last tight squeeze before playfully pushing her off.

“What will you do without me?” Kelley yells as she makes her way out of the apartment. And just like that Christen is alone again. She drains the cup of coffee in the sink before throwing it into the bin and taking the box of donuts inside the fridge.

Christen contemplates on Kelley's advice but still fails to come up with a decision. She closes her eyes and exhales deeply, thinking maybe she needs to meditate and clear her mind. She takes her extra blue yoga mat out from one of her supply drawers and strides to the middle of her living room. She places the mat on the floor and smoothes it out.

Christen settles herself on the mat in crossed legs. She straightens her back posture and rests her arms and hands on her thighs, closing her eyes and breathing deeply in a steady rhythm. She tries to clear her mind off. But it always drifts back to thinking of Tobin, to the way her lips fit perfectly to hers, to her golden brown eyes that bore into Christen’s own pair of green orbs, to the sounds she makes when Christen bites down on her neck or bottom lip, and to the hollowness in her chest caused by waking up the next morning without all those things.

Christen gets up from the floor and rolls in her yoga mat. She shoves it back inside the supply drawer and almost sprints to her room.

Kelly is right. There's no other way to solve this than to talk and if Tobin chooses to run, Christen is going to chase after her because Christen won't have any of these bullshit anymore. She's had enough. Enough of crying and pining and moping around. It's time for her to grow a spine and stand up and refuse to be the same woman she had let herself turned into two months ago when Tobin left her for the first time.

Christen settles to changing into a pair of grey joggers and a simple white shirt. She pulls her hair into a bun and puts a little make up on. She wants to look at least a little presentable confronting Tobin. She grabs her purse and checks her phone. Still no calls or reply from Tobin. She shoves her phone inside the purse before walking out in her apartment with one mission in hand.

 

Back in the confines of her apartment she was so sure of what she wanted to do but as she was sitting at the backseat of her Uber stuck in traffic on her way to Tobin's place, Christen had started second thinking. What ifs and fear of rejection crawled up down her spine. 

They reached Tobin's building a few minutes later, the driver pulling over just across the street.

“Fuck it!” Christen muttered as she hopped off from her Uber.

 

Thirty minutes has gone by since she has arrived, Christen is still pacing back and forth outside the entrance of Tobin's apartment building. She's having a cold feet. Christen closes her eyes and focuses on Kelley's voice in her head. _If you think Tobin is worth fighting for, worth this kind of pain, go talk to her._ Christen inhales one last deep breath before pushing herself inside.

Christen keeps fidgeting in her short elevator ride up to Tobin's floor. She even jolts and rattles when the elevator dings, signaling she has reached her destination. She steps out and strides in the hallway. Too caught up in her internal struggle and thoughts she doesn't notice a woman coming her way, head’s bowed down in her shoulder bag digging something from it. Their shoulders lightly bump against each other, dropping the other woman's bag on the floor. Both women jerk on the impact.

“Ow!” The woman exaggeratedly cries.

“I'm sorry.” Christen apologizes. Scooting down to help the woman pick up and shove back personal stuff inside her bag.

“No, I got this.” The woman declines her help and stands up once she has gathered back all her stuff. Christen lifts up from the floor as well. She offers a small smile to the stranger who cocks her head and eyes Christen up and down.

“Watch your step next time. You'll never know who's on your way.” She smirks, giving Christen one last glance from head to toe, before walking past her straight to the elevator door. 

Christen shakes her head and continues striding forward, only stopping when she reaches outside Tobin's front door. _This is it._ She has her hand halfway to knocking when the door swings open, revealing a freshly showered and well groomed Tobin.

“Christen, what are you—” She steps outside and peeps on the hallway. She quickly tugs Christen inside and closes the door. “What are you doing here?” She finishes her question.

Christen knits her brows. A fire is raging deep inside of her.

“What am I doing here? Oh I'm sorry, was I supposed to get an appointment first? But how could I get one, you haven't answered nor returned my texts and calls after leaving me in bed once you were done fucking me!” Christen spits out, unable to hide her frustration and anger anymore.

Tobin runs a hand down her face. “Christen, it's not like that.”

“Then what is it? Tell me. You can never forgive me for sleeping with Vero? Is that it?”

“No…yes. I don't know.” 

“What? Which one Tobin? Cause I'm so tired of dancing in this limbo. Why did you make love with me and then leave the next morning? Why are you shutting me down again?” Christen speaks so low. Her eyes are pleading to Tobin who's looking down on the floor, not meeting her green orbs. Christen moves forward, closing the space between them but Tobin reclines and steps back.

Tobin lifts her head and locks eyes on Christen. Her pair of golden brown is missing it's usual glow and spark. It's empty and trembling. Christen scoops Tobin's cheek with her hand, Tobin leaning to the touch.

“Tobin…”

“I'm sorry, Chris.”

“Tobs, we've talked about this. It's not your fault. I'm accountable for my actions. It was all on me and I'm so sorry for that. I can't take back time and undo what I've done. But Tobin, I love you. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for that mistake if you give me a chance. Please, forgive me.” Christen begs, tears restlessly flow down her cheeks.

Tobin does not respond though. Instead she takes Christen’s hand off her cheek and tugs it down to her side then lets go.

“Please talk to me.” Christen pleads again. She's pouring all her heart out now. All pride and self-worth go down the drain just to get Tobin back.

Tobin remains quiet. Neither of them stepping forward nor stepping back. They remain anchored on their spots.

“I'm trying so hard to make us work. But you won't even meet me halfway. You shouldn't have come back, make promises you couldn't keep, only to destroy me again." Christen wipes the tears off her face. “But if this is what you want. If you're giving up. Then I respect that." Christen pauses. "I just have one favor to ask and you can't say no to this." Swallowing a huge lump in her throat Christen continues. "Don't ever come back again." 

And with that Christen turns her back from Tobin, not even waiting to hear a reply, and struts to the door. This time it's Christen who's walking away.


	8. Oh Hey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin is like a gravity, something that Christen can't escape and keeps on pulling her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick update! Don't hate on this chapter too much, peace!

Christen slams the door close and sluggishly walks down the hallway. Her vision is clouded by the pool of tears in her eyes. She pauses for a moment and tries to even her breathing and the rapid beating of her heart. She's about to resume and take the short distance left to the elevator door when a firm grip and a strong pull in her arm forces her to spin around.

“I can't do your favor.” Utters by a raspy voice.

Tobin is standing in front of her. She looks as disheveled as Christen is. Her well-combed hair a while ago is now disorderly askew, her golden eyes are red and puffy with tears.

“I don't care anymore. Just let me go.” Christen says with firm resolved. But Tobin only tightens her hold even more.

“I wasn't breaking up with you, Christen.” 

“Oh please Tobin stop playing games with me. Stop sending me wrong signals. Stop leading me on!” Christen yells, threatening to scandalize the entire apartment floor.

“I'm not playing games and I'm definitely not leading you on.” Tobin defends herself, voice a little toned down than Christen’s.

Christen scoffs. “Then why weren't you answering my calls and texts? Why wouldn't you talk to me a while ago?”

“Because I'm pissed and I hate myself. Last night in your place I woke up to use the bathroom while you were asleep. My heart melted seeing our picture on the mirror. We were so happy and in loved, Chris.” Tobin pauses. She runs a hand through her hair and continues, “But I remembered how you fucked Vero while looking at it. Then I saw my reflection in the mirror, naked. Suddenly I felt so small and vulnerable. I couldn't stay in there any longer. It was so hard for me to breathe. It was suffocating me knowing it was the same room you fucked someone else. I was conflicted. I wanted to be mad at you but I couldn't. I understand we were on a break. It was my fault but it still hurt. I left without saying goodbye this morning because I knew if I did, I wouldn't be able to go.” Tobin rattles and gasps for air like she has run a marathon. 

Christen scowls at Tobin. “I'm tired of telling you over and over that it wasn't your fault.” She pinches the bridge of her nose. “Tobin, do you still want this?”

“What this? What do you mean?” Tobin gives her a puzzled look.

“Us. Do you still want us?”

Tobin only nods in response and looks at her pleadingly.

“It's not enough. Say it.” Christen commands authoritatively.

“Yes Chris, yes. I want us. That's all I want.” Tobin sounds desperate and small.

“Then stop acting like a bitch, Tobin. Forget about the things in the past. Forgive yourself and forgive me. Then let's move on forwards. Because if you won't, I'm out for good. I can't keep going on circles like this. It's not healthy for me, for both of us.”

Christen doesn't get any answer. Tobin has resorted again to silence which ignites back the burning sensation inside her chest. “Right, you wouldn't talk again. Fine.” Christen spins her back, moving forward to the elevator but she's stopped and twisted back immediately by a forceful grip on her waist.

“Tobin, sto—” Christen is interrupted by a needy mouth crashing into hers. She tries to wiggle out of Tobin's muscular body. She's pushing against Tobin's broad shoulders and pounds hard on her chest, trying to create a window of escape but she is no comparison to Tobin's strength. Tobin is just much stronger than her.

Christen halts from her assault on the brunette’s chest and shoulders, resorting instead to clenching and clinging on to her shirt. Tobin's mouth has become gentler. She disconnects their mouths for only a half of a second before reattaching, slotting them in a better angle. Christen finds herself melting and giving in. She has started kissing Tobin back in the same level of heated passion.

Tobin sways them to the side in one swift motion. Christen’s back hitting the wall with a thud.

“Ow…” Christen gasps out against Tobin's mouth from feeling the sudden pain.

“Shit! Are you okay?” Tobin asks, she's eyeing Christen with so much love and care. She brings a hand behind Christen’s head and checks for a possible injury. “Chris, I didn't mean to—”

“I'm good. It didn't hurt much. I was just surprised.” Christen assures the brunette. Tobin grins and tangles her fingers in Christen’s hair, tilting her head to the side. She kisses across the expanse of her jaw down to her neck.

“I'm sorry.” Tobin mumbles on her skin.

“Mmmm…” Christen hums in the sensation. She snakes her arms around Tobin's torso and pulls her in. Their bodies are flushed against each other as Tobin nibbles on the skin under her ear.

“Oh my god! Get a room! There are children in this building!” A loud shout jolts them off from their current position. A woman probably in her early 40s with a small girl in tow is standing in the middle of the hallway. She's covering the girl’s eyes with a brown paper bag.

Tobin pushes herself farther from Christen, creating a decent distance, and offers apologies to her neighbor. The woman tugs the child and bolts to the elevator, eyes scowling at them. Tobin and Christen both burst in a fit of laugh once the woman has set foot inside the elevator and the door closes. Tobin sneakily puts her hands back on Christen’s hips.

“Hi” An ear-to-ear grin spreads across her face.

“Hi” Christen smiles back at her. Tobin leans forward and rests her forehead on Christen’s. They stay quiet for a while, only the minimal sound of their breathing can be heard.

“Babe, I’m sorry.” Christen cocks her head to the side, observing Tobin’s face closely.

“You know…” Tobin's rubbing the back of neck. “…for not texting back and taking your calls and not talking a while ago. Or in your own words, for acting like a bitch.” This earn a chuckle from the both of them. “I was just torn inside.” Tobin confesses.

Christen scoops Tobin's jaw and stares at her. “Tobin, I'm serious. We can't keep going on circles. If you still want to be with me, you need to drop everything from the past and just move on with me with a clean slate.”

Tobin leans in and plants a soft lingering kiss on her lips. “Yeah…I can do that.”

“You will.” They are looking in the eyes intently, Tobin nodding in agreement.

“I will.” Tobin states resolutely.

“You're not gonna bring that issue up again nor gonna blame yourself. Are we clear?” Christen adds.

“I promise. Anything you want, Chris.”

They stay enclosed in a comforting embrace until Christen starts fiddling time to time to adjust her legs and avoid catching spasm. 

“Let’s go. My legs are starting to hurt, too.” Tobin pushes her weight off and leads Christen back to her place. “Besides, I felt shortchanged last night. You definitely didn't nap just for five minutes, you know.”

 

Christen feels lightheaded. She is being sandwiched between Tobin and the front door and her tan skin is on fire against the cold wooden frame. Tobin has been relentlessly attacking and munching on her breasts. She has long taken off Christen’s shirt and bra the moment the door was pushed closed behind them.

Christen's fingers are tangled in Tobin's damped long brown hair. She's pulling her head to her chest as if Tobin can go any deeper. Christen lets a lustful moan escape from her agape mouth when Tobin starts sucking hard on her right nipple and twitches the other with her skillful fingers. She clings her leg around the brunette’s waist, grinding their groins for friction and somewhat easing the needing in the area.

“Tobin, Tobs…” Christen pants out, scooping Tobin's head and pulling it up so they are eye level. “You know sex isn't the solution to everything, right?” She continues.

Tobin answers by giving her a wet chaste kiss. “Yeah but…” Tobin pushes seductively between her legs and twitches her erect nipple. Christen moans and bits her lower lip in the sensation. “Do you want to stop now?” Tobin drags her tongue across Christen’s lips and thrusts her hips again.  
Christen is helpless. She can't do anything but surrender to Tobin’s wicked spell and give in to her desire. Christen darts her tongue out in response and is met by Tobin's own. Their tongues engaged in a battle, swirling, tips flicking each other.

Christen unwraps her leg from Tobin's waist and arches forward, signaling Tobin to start working below, to which Tobin eagerly complies by roughly pulling her joggers down.

Tobin pulls back and looks at her in the eyes incredulously. “Babe…” Tobin rasps out. “You're not wearing underwear.”

Christen blushes, cheeks turning into a shade of red. “I was in a hurry to get he—Tobiiiiin” Christen cries. Tobin has shoved her fingers down, stroking Christen’s soaked folds.

“What were you saying, babe?” Tobin is grinning at her devilishly. She takes her hand out and brings her fingers to her mouth ever slowly, humming and tasting Christen’s arousal, while holding eye contact with Christen.

“You are killing me.” Christen groans, sounding strangled by Tobin's teasing. She grips on Tobin's hair and pulls her in for a passionate kiss. Christen gaining confidence, pushes Tobin backwards deeper into the living room area without breaking the kiss. She pushes her joggers down further and wiggles out from it. She's now totally nude and exposed in broad daylight. 

Tobin hits the edge of her wooden center table with the back of her knees. Christen distance a bit, bending down and brusquely shoving the piles of sports magazines and other materials off the table.

“Babe, I have a couch…and a bed, you know. And I don't have time cleaning those up later.” Tobin teases, pointing at the scattered stuff on the floor.

“If I’m gonna eat you out, I'm gonna do it on a fucking table.” Christen pushes Tobin down aggressively.

“You are so fucking hot.” Tobin breathlessly utters, slowly leaning her back on the table.

Christen works on her shorts, unbuttoning and pulling the zipper down in a haste, and dragging it out with Tobin’s underwear off her legs. Tobin is lifting her legs up to make the process quicker.

“Take your shirt off.” Christen commands. Tobin lifts up and hastily undresses her shirt. She reaches to her back to unclasp her bra but Christen stops her halfway.

“Let me just…” Christen settles on top of Tobin's lap, straddling her hips. She pushes Tobin down so she is lying on her back again. Christen harshly pushes the cups of Tobin's bra down, exposing Tobin's bouncing mounds. Her eyes gazing at them lovingly. “You're perfect.”

Christen leans in and captures Tobin's peaking breast to her mouth all while thrusting her core against Tobin.

Tobin fixes Christen’s dark hair to the side so she'll have a better look of Christen devouring her. They make eye contact as Christen circles her tongue around Tobin’s taunt nipple. Tobin throws her head back and shuts her eyes closed. The sight is too much to take.

Christen abandons her peak and kisses down south. She flicks her tongue in Tobin's navel, alternating between slow and rapid rhythm. Tobin is a mess underneath her, twitching and arching her back in anticipation and pleasure. She's straddling Christen’s torso and arches up, pressing her core to Christen.

Christen tries to minimize her movements by cupping both of her breasts and settling her in place. But it only ignites Tobin even more. She's impatiently pushing Christen down to where she wants to be touched the most.

“Christen, baby, please.” Tobin pleads when Christen won't budge from teasing her by her navel.

“You've been a bad girl, Tobin Heath.” Christen murmurs, her warm breath tickling Tobin's afire skin.

Tobin lifts herself up by propping her elbows and meets Christen’s lustful eyes. “Chris, please, touch me.”

Christen blows air onto her navel, causing goosebumps and a restrained grunt from the writhing brunette.

“Do you know what they do to bad girls, Tobin?” Christen temptingly says.

“What?” Tobin huffs. Her patience is getting thinner by the minute.

“They get punished.” Christen huskily says before pinching and tugging Tobin's nipple hard between her fingers.

“Fuuuck!” Tobin cries out both from pain and pleasure. Christen can feel Tobin's wetness dripping underneath her. She leaves a trail of kisses down until she's eye level with Tobin's glistening and drenched folds.

Christen licks her lips. Her eyes lovingly appreciating the sight in front of her. “You are so pretty.”

Tobin grasps at the back of Christen's head and pulls her down to the uncontrollable throbbing between her legs. But Christen holds her ground and chuckles, looking up to Tobin with devilish smirk. Christen jolts upward and steps back, dragging her eyes off from Tobin's hooded pair of hazel brown down to her breasts and erect nipples until her gaze reaches Tobin's widened legs. Her folds are spread open and lubed by its own juice.

“Chris, baby, is anything wrong?” Tobin panics, her eyes begging an answer from Christen.

“Fuck yourself.” Christen commands.

“What?” Tobin stares at her quizzically.  
“I want to watch you fucking yourself.” Christen brings her fingers to the length of Tobin's folds and strokes over it smoothly. She swallows hard feeling Tobin's wetness at her fingertips. 

“Baby, show me how you pleasure yourself.” She guides Tobin's hand and places it on her clit, pressing and circling around it lightly. Their eyes never leaving each other's.

“Aaahhh…” Tobin’s moan fills the room. Christen takes her hand off, leaving Tobin to doing the rest. She steps backwards until she feels the edge of the couch hitting her knees and settles her nude body down.

“That's it baby touch yourself for me.” She encourages the brown eyed girl.

“Chris, tell me, tell me what you want.” Tobin says desperately. She's squeezing her breast with one hand while the other is massaging her clit.

“Finger yourself.” Christen replies immediately.

Tobin’s fingers crawl to her opening, feeling her own wetness. She bends her legs up on the table, giving Christen a better angle of the view. Slowly, Tobin inserts her middle finger in.

“Oh god, Christen.”

Christen is feeling dizzy by the sight of Tobin, lying on her back with legs wide spread in broad daylight, pleasuring herself and calling out her name.

“Yes baby, fuck that hole.” Tobin pumps her finger in, knuckle-deep. She does this a couple of times before adding one more finger.

“Oh shit!” Tobin cries out loud.

Their eyes stay locked on each other. 

Christen bites her lips. She's palming her breast, taking turns on squeezing and rolling her harden nipple, not able to contain her arousal any longer. But Christen is yet to address the torturous pulsating in her thighs. She's trying her hardest to holding herself back. She has to save it for later.

Tobin is relentlessly pumping in and out of her opening. Burying her fingers up to her knuckles. She has twisted her hand to get a better angle and starts thumbing her clit.

“Aaahhh! Chrisss…” Tobin calls out. She's rapidly fingerfucking herself and circling her swollen bundle of nerves. 

Christen can tell she's almost close. Christen jerks up from the couch and walks to the table. She straddles Tobin, her core pushing Tobin's hand down deeper into her hole. Christen starts rocking her hips until she finds the right rhythm that matches Tobin’s. Her thrusts adding more pressure and force to Tobin's fingers that are pumping in and out.

“Fuck! Chris faster!” Tobin begs beneath her.

Christen reaches to her bouncing breasts that are peaking out from her bra. She cups them both and squeezes tight.

“Oh god! Fuck!”

Christen abandons Tobin’s chest and hope off from her. Tobin, still fingering herself, whines at the sudden loss of pressure and weight.

“Babe, where are you going? Go back, please.” Tobin desperately begs.

But Christen has gone down on her knees between her legs. She spreads them apart even wider and grabs Tobin's hand off, pulling her fingers out from her opening. Christen dips her head and runs her tongue along Tobin’s wet folds.

“Holy fuuuck!” Tobin shouts. At this point they no longer care if all the neighbors overhear them from inside.

Christen drags long lingering licks, savoring Tobin's juice. She tastes like salt and a little sweet. Her smell is addicting and intoxicating, driving Christen wild. Christen knows this is her most favorite scent and taste in the entire world. Nothing compares to this.

She spreads Tobin's folds and darts the tip of her tongue to Tobin's opening, flicking into it rapidly and unmercifully. Tobin is blabbering cursive words and strangling her fingers in Christen's hair, pushing her inward.

“That's it! Faster baby! More!” Christen, encouraged, flexes her tongue and starts thrusting the tip inside, tongue fucking Tobin savagely.

“Don't stop! I'm so close!” Christen rubs Tobin's clit with her thumb, circling roughly and pushing the brunette to the edge. Her tongue continues to thrust in and out of Tobin.

“Christen! Fuuu—” Tobin is interrupted by her own explosion. She clutches tighter on Christen's head to anchor herself.

But Christen hasn't stopped lapping on Tobin's juice and pleasuring Tobin's bundle.

“Baby! Baaabe!” Tobin pleads. Her entire body is twitching, every nerve of her is still hypersensitive from her orgasm. Christen doesn't want to stop just yet. She continues to munch on Tobin.

“Christen, baby, please.” Christen is being pushed up. She raises her head and meets Tobin's unsteady brown eyes.

“Tell me you'll be a good girl from now on.” When she doesn't get a reply from Tobin, she pinches Tobin's swollen clit then tugs on it, sending pain and pleasure down to Tobin's spine.

“Oh my god! Yes Chris! Yes!”

“Yes what?” She leans in and tweaks the bundle of nerves with the tip of her tongue.

“Fuuuck! I'll be a good girl! I promise! Please give me a break to recover!” Christen smirks.

“I'm not done, Miss Heath.” Christen pushes herself up from the floor, red marks forming around her kneecaps for kneeling on the floor too long. She climbs on the table and straddles Tobin by her upper torso, settling her legs down to each side of Tobin's head.

“Eat me.” Too eager to address the pulsating heat in her core, she doesn't wait for Tobin to reply and agree. She moves her hips forward and shoves her wet slicks into Tobin's mouth. She rocks her clit against Tobin's firm and hungry tongue. Christen clutches on the edge of the table for support and so she can thrusts faster and deeper into Tobin.

“Yes! Tobin! Eat me! Don't stop!” Christen knows at the back of her mind Tobin will surely receive complains from her neighbors, even eviction notice from the management, for her scandalous lustful moans and expletive yells.

Christen rocks faster and deeper. Tobin taking turns between sucking and twitching her clit. Tobin grips her hips and steadies her before pushing Christen’s butt up in the air.

“Fuuuck!” Christen cries when Tobin surprisingly thrusts two fingers inside her while still sucking. Tobin pumps incredulously in and out, causing Christen’s juices to splatter.

“Uuuughhh!” Christen grunts when Tobin repeatedly hits her g-spot. She rocks her core wildly fast, meeting Tobin's expert tongue and firm fingers. Christen can feel the familiar pull at the bottom of her stomach.

The table beneath them starts squeaking from their rapid movements and weight.

Tobin curls her fingers and thrusts forcefully and bites on Christen’s clit.

“Oh god! Tobiii—” Christen’s entire body stills then shivers when she reaches her climax. To say she sees stars and moons and planets unknown to man and all other celestial things is an understatement. Her orgasm is divinely good.

Still panting, Christen breathes in through her mouth. Tobin taps her thigh, signaling for her to hop off. Christen loosens her grip from the edge of the table and slides down. She's staring down intently to a heaving Tobin who's also catching her breath.

“I love you.” Tobin mutters beneath her. Her eyes are wide and hooded with adoration and love.

“I love you.” Christen responds. She slides down further until she's lying parallel on top of Tobin. She leans in for a kiss. It's soft and delicate and warm.

The wooden table under them squeaks one more time before one of its legs snaps and breaks, unable to support their weights any longer. Christen clings onto Tobin laughing.

“I can't believe we broke the center table.” Tobin chuckles in disbelief.

“We'll get you another one. More durable. Cause we're so doing it again next time.” Christen jokes, causing Tobin to laugh.

A few minutes later and after some heavy petting and another round on the couch, Christen is in the kitchen humming to the beat of the song playing in the background, making dinner. 

She’s piling slices of cheese and tomatoes and ham in a sandwich. Tobin's fridge is loaded with groceries, which only occurs once in a blue moon, but Christen is too exhausted and famished to be bothered by thinking of making a more complicated dish for the night. 

Well, the truth is she isn't good at this. She rarely cooks and do domestic chores other than cleaning up but Christen is willing to compromise and change that once Tobin and her decide to settle down. Christen giggles thinking about what good things await for her and Tobin. She knows it's too soon and she's thinking far way ahead but it makes her heart flutter every time the thought of a future with Tobin comes to her mind. 

I'm sorry that I'm late/  
And I missed your call/  
But you know night turn into day/  
And I didn't stop to pause/  
I know I never see your face/  
And baby, that's my fault/  
But Imma fix all my mistakes/  
So don't stress no more/

She's bobbing her head and singing along to some parts that she knows. Too immersed in the song and busy with making the sandwich look appetizing, Christen doesn't register the creaking sound of the front door opening.

“Tobin, darling, what happened here? Why is it a mess?” A voice fast approaching to the kitchen startles Christen. “Did you get robbed or—” A tall blonde with a pair of deep blue eyes halts by the doorway, surprised that it's not Tobin who's standing in the middle of the room but a tan woman with askew hair, dressed in Tobin's extra large shirt and nothing else on.

“Oh hey...” Greets the blonde to Christen reluctantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I appreciate reading comments down below. Leave some? Tnx!


	9. Too Soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me long to finish this chapter. Life's a little busy the past few days.

“Oh hey…” The blonde greets Christen reluctantly.

“Um hi, good evening,” Christen greets back and flashes a timid smile.

Allie has been best friends with Tobin since their freshmen year in college. They are practically sisters from different wombs. They would do all things together—go to the gym, grocery, laundry, shopping, have fun at the beach, etc. They even got in the same field of profession and bagged jobs that would always require them to work together. Tobin works as a photographer in a lifestyle and fashion magazine company while Allie works as an article editor for the same magazine.

The two remained roommates even after finishing college. They only got separated when Tobin had started dating her ex Laure, and Allie's boyfriend, Bati, was starting to hint Allie that maybe they should already moved in together and level up their relationship status since they had been dating for three years.

This made Tobin and Allie both agree that they were no more college girls and accept the fact that they couldn't live in the same place together for the rest of their lives and it was time they woman up and get their own apartment each. Even then it was hard for the two to be fully independent from the other. Until now Tobin still seeks Allie's help with her laundry because Tobin never learns how to do it right and Christen doesn't have the enough patience required to put up with Tobin and her inability to perfectly accomplish such basic task. Meanwhile, Allie still compels Tobin to religiously spare a night in her week for “Harry Night.”

Tobin and Allie call each other Harry. Just on their first day of rooming in the university dorm, they found out about each other's obsession on everything that has to do with the Harry Potter universe. They started calling each other by that nickname since then.

Christen remembers the first time she and Tobin met at a party thrown by a common friend. She unintentionally overheard the brunette talking with someone on the phone and muttered, “I love you, Harry.” Her heart dropped thinking the beautiful girl she couldn't stop staring at since they were introduced to each other had a boyfriend and was tragically straight. She moped about it for days until they hangout again and learned “Harry” was a girl and just Tobin's best friend.

Christen is brought back in the present by a clearing of throat.

“I wasn't expecting to—I'm sorry but where's Harry?” Allie changes her thought midway. Her tone was cold and distant and honestly not unusual when she's talking to Christen.

Christen doesn't know how and why but ever since they were introduced by Tobin to each other, Allie has always been aloof and even indifferent towards her. Christen has shrugged it off though, thinking Allie might just be overprotective of Tobin and she actually treated in the same manner all of Tobin's ex girlfriends she got to know before.

“Oh she's in the room looking for—”

“Babe, I give up. I can't find the—Harry! What are you doing here?” As if on cue, Tobin appears from the bedroom, cutting Christen off. She's wearing nothing but a pair of blue and red and white Captain America boxer shorts and a white tank top, her nipples towering underneath the thin fabric. Tobin's shiny golden hair cascading beautifully over her broad muscular shoulders and her lips a little swollen and reddish from their intense skin-to-skin activity a while ago in the living room.

Christen gulps at the sight of her girlfriend. She would have had Tobin again right on the spot and pin her against the wall or on to the floor if only Allie was not with them at the moment.

“We were supposed to meet at the coffee shop, remember? But you never came by. I waited. I called and texted but got no reply at all. Ugh I see now why.” Allie rolls her eyes.

“Oh right! I'm sorry I got sidetracked along the way.” A grin spreads across Tobin's face from ear to ear. She's directing her eyes to Christen knowingly. Christen blushes, thinking fully well she was the distraction Tobin is referring to. 

“Can I have a word with you?” Allie speaks again. She's giving Tobin a stern and hard look.

“What are you gonna scold me? Harry, I'm sorry, okay? I should've texted I couldn't come.” Tobin lousily apologizes and moves toward Christen by the kitchen island. She stops behind Christen and snakes her toned arms around the tan girl's waist and starts peppering Christen’s shoulder with featherlike light kisses. Christen smiles at Tobin's simple yet heartwarming way of showing affection.

Allie scowls upon hearing her best friend’s lame apology. She looks at Christen before dragging her eyes back to the brunette whose body is starting to heat up against Christen’s back.

The blonde is pinching the bridge of her nose, clearly displeased and annoyed with Tobin, “No, not that.”

“Mmm, okay. Shoot!” Tobin mumbles nonchalantly while still kissing the length of Christen’s neck and shoulder.

“Actually, can we talk in private?” Allie authoritatively says, before shifting her gaze to Christen and cocking her head “Is it okay with you, Christen?” She smiles at her in a manner that Christen knows the blonde is only faking it.

Nonetheless, Christen smiles back more convincingly than the other woman. “Yeah, it's fine.” She leans back and cocks her head to the side, giving Tobin a chaste kiss on the cheek.

Tobin tightens her arms around Christen’s waist. “Babe, don’t give me to her.” She muffles against the top of Christen’s shoulder.

Christen chuckles, “Go talk to her fast so we can eat our dinner after.” She tries to convince Tobin.

“Mmm, there's something else I want to eat actually.” Tobin whispers in her ear. Her hot breath tickling Christen’s skin.

“Oh, do you wanna order delivery? Or drive to a diner?” She's quite disappointed that Tobin doesn't wanna eat the sandwich she had meticulously prepared for them. She knows it probably doesn't taste that good and Tobin might be thinking the same but it's the thought that really counts, the little things you do for the person you love.

“No, babe. You. I want you right now so bad.” Tobin seductively whispers ever so softly so that there's not a chance for Allie overheating.

Christen can feel her body react to the dirty talk. She’s heating up and a surge of want come rushing between her wobbly legs. She can feel the throbbing in her clit start to pick up again. She bites her bottom lip to suppress a moan. She doesn't want to embarrass herself in front of Allie.

“In case you didn't notice, I'm here by the way.” Allie interrupts while waving her hands to them, popping the love bubble they are currently in.

“We can talk here, Harry.” Tobin muffles against the top of Christen’s shoulder.

“Tobin. In your room. Now.” Allie is clearly annoyed at Tobin and has become more impatient which rarely happens. The only time Christen witnessed Allie snapped at her best friend was when Tobin drunkenly narrated and made fun of Allie’s first sexual experience in front of their friends and Bati who was at that time, still courting Allie.

Christen feels Tobin release a deep sigh. Even her knows it's futile to be stubborn right now. Allie always gets what she wants. Tobin finds the crook of her neck, breathing warmly against her skin.

Tobin plants a soft and tickling kiss first before pulling back and lifting her head up to meet Allie's pair of blue eyes. “Fine. But be quick. Christen and I haven't eaten yet and I'm famished.”

Allie, however, doesn't let Tobin finish. She strides to Tobin's room, clearly uninterested with whatever Tobin is talking about.

Christen holds Tobin's hands that are resting on her stomach then turns around. She's met by a pair of hazel brown eyes lovingly staring at her own pair of green orbs. Tobin leans her head forward against Christen’s and smiles. They don't speak a word. Already satisfied by just reveling the comforting silence that's surrounding them and of the warmth spreading in their chests.

Christen abandons Tobin's hands and grips on her hips instead, holding her like the woman in front of her is the most precious thing in her life, like she will never let go of her. Tobin tilts her head a bit and slowly closes the minuscule distance between their mouths. Christen closes her eyes and basks in the intimacy. The kiss is soft and sweet and innocent but it channels so much emotions and tells Christen that there is no doubt Tobin loves her and is in love with her.

“Tobin Powell Heath!” A shout from the other room interrupts them. Christen pulls back with an apologetic small smile plastered on her face. Tobin groans at the lost of contact with Christen's lips on hers.

“I guess somebody's having that time of the month.” She mutters displeasingly. They both chuckle at her cheeky joke.

“Literally can't wait for a second!” Tobin shouts back in response to her best friend.

“Babe, go before she goes crazier and kills us both.” Tobin snorts. She kisses Christen one more time before pulling and walking backwards.

“This better be quick. I don't even know what she needs from me.” Tobin rolls her eyes then turns her back to Christen, moving to her room.

Christen watches Tobin’s back as she walks forward. Once she reaches inside, Allie goes by the door and slowly shuts it close while holding an eye contact with Christen. Blue eyes staring at Christen’s green. They don't reflect animosity or anything negative against her though but the way Allie's eyes bore into Christen’s makes her uncomfortable, uneasy, and small.

Christen jerks a little hearing the door hits the jamb and the click of the knob locking from the other side and from the growling in her stomach. The corner of her mouth waters as she looks down on the plate of two sandwiches she has successfully made on the granite surface of the island. She perfectly cuts each sandwich into half and munches one slice down to appease her hunger.

She doesn’t want to be rude or nosy but her curiosity got the best of Christen. It's killing her each second that passes by not knowing what's happening in Tobin's room. Giving in to her curiosity, she hesitantly lowers the volume of the song to the minimum and faintly overhears the choppy exchange of words of the two women from the other room. She can mostly hear Allie and just a few of Tobin's raspy voice.

“It's not...won’t work…I told you to…Tobin! You can't…Tell the…explain…while it's not yet too…Harry, it's gonna be…I know what I'm doing…It's not important anymore…finds out…I care for you...get hurt.”

Christen for her dear life can't figure what exactly they're discussing about inside but she sure knows the two best friends are in a disagreement. Suddenly she finds herself standing awkwardly and nervously in the middle of the kitchen. Her appetite drops abruptly. She's no longer hungry. Tobin and Allie rarely fight and if they do, it's mostly work related like when Allie and Tobin don't agree on some stuff in their magazine features, etc. Also they mostly argue in front of her and Bati, not in the confines of a room where nobody can hear but them alone. It must be something really important, confidential, and personal.

Christen pushes herself off from the counter and walks across the kitchen to the fridge to get a bottle of cold water. She needs something to soothe her drying throat and help drain down sandwich bits and maybe she's just trying to find something else to do and get herself busy with while waiting for the two women inside.

She opens the fridge and grabs a bottle, twisting the cap and bringing it to her still swollen lips. She almost smothers when the door squeaks and opens, revealing a frowning Allie. Tobin is following just behind her with a dull face. Allie stops on her way to the living room and looks at Christen from head to toe. She smirks and shakes her head before striding to the living room without saying a word to her and glancing back at her best friend.

“Harry…” Tobin calls out but they never hear a word back from the blonde, only the squeaking and thud of the front door opening and closing.

Christen sets down her water and moves toward Tobin.

“Babe, everything okay?” She tries to play it cool and hide her concern.

Tobin doesn't say a single word. Instead she pulls Christen into a tight hug that surprises the tan woman.

“Tobin, baby, what's wrong?” This time Christen fails to cover the worry in her voice.

Tobin squeezes her tighter and pushes back then leans into her face for a soft, lingering kiss. Tobin slowly breaks the kiss and rests her head on Christen's.

“I love you so much.” Tobin mutters. She's looking into Christen’s eyes, trying to convey how much she means what she has said through the windows of Christen’s soul.

“I love you, too.” Christen thinks she's going to combust. She's never said truer words than that in her life and even if she's said it a thousand times before, it still makes her heart pound wildly in her chest for each time she gets to tell her love to Tobin. If she was going to be asked what her last words would be in her dying seconds, she wouldn't hesitate a bit. She knows she's going to say I love you to Tobin until her last breath. She wants her last words to be the truest thing in the world she knows and feels.

Tobin tilts her head and buries her face in the crook of Christen's neck. A comfortable silence embraces them again.

“Tobs, what was that with Allie a while ago? You two okay, right?” Christen asks reluctantly. 

She's torn. She knows that even though they are together, Tobin is still entitled to keep some personal stuff to herself, for as long as it doesn't have something that can make or break their relationship. However, Christen also knows that part of starting over again is trying their best to communicate with each other better. So she'll try hard to get Tobin to opening up to her more often.

“I don't wanna talk about it.” Tobin frankly replies, voice a little groggy against Christen’s skin.

“Babe, you trust me, don't you?” She can feel Tobin nodding her head upside down from her neck. “And you know part of starting over with our relationship is to be as honest as we can to each other about everything, right? Not to be pushy but you gotta tell me what's happening her. With you and Allie. Don't leave me on the blindside.”

Tobin pushes back and looks at her with concern, “Chris, baby, it's not like that. I'm so sorry if you feel that way.” She scoops Christen’s jaw and gives her a tender kiss, pulling off too quickly though for Christen's liking. Christen gives her best puppy eyes to try to coax her girlfriend to spilling the beans or the can of worms. Tobin being Tobin, always loses to Christen when she does that. Almost immediately, Tobin gives in to those pleading green orbs, “Alright, I'll tell you but you promise not to take it against Allie, okay?”

“I can't promise. If it's something horrible like her kicking a puppy in the face I don't think I wouldn’t get agitated and rip her blondes off her head.” Christen lamely jokes to lighten the mood but Tobin’s face remains serious.

Tobin takes a deep breath before speaking up again, “She doesn't think we're ready yet. She thinks it's too soon.” She rambles out quickly that Christen almost doesn't hear her.

“Ready for what? What do you mean too soon?” She asks, confusion evident in her tone.

“She thinks we're not ready for this again.” Tobin gestures between them. “Don't get her wrong though. She just doesn't want us get hurt at the end cause we rushed things.”

Christen pushes herself off Tobin, “What the fuck? And you believe that?”

Tobin shakes her head seeing Christen’s anger. “No of course not. I told her we're doing our best for this, for us to work out.” Tobin reaches for her but Christen steps back even farther. 

“Chris, please.”

“What else did she say? Did she tell you to break up with me?” Christen is furious. She knows Allie is an important part of Tobin's life but she doesn't think Allie has any say when it comes to their relationship and she absolutely has no right to tell how they should go on with their pace.

“She told me to think about us thoroughly. That I shouldn't let my emotions cloud my mind. That I should think about what's there in the long run for me...and for you.” She whispers the last part like an after-thought. Tobin bends her head low, breaking their eye contact.

“She definitely wants you to break up with me.” Christen snorts. She balls her knuckles into a fist. She wants to hit something, punch the wall, release the ugly warm feeling in her chest. Christen throws her head up, trying not to let the pool of tears in the corners of her eyes break free.

“Chris, no. She doesn't. Don't be mad at her. Allie just wants me not to fuck this second chance up with you.” Tobin tries to defend her best friend. She walks forward and delicately holds Christen by the neck. “Babe, I will never break up with you ever again. Even if you beg me to, I will never. Until now I still regret every single day that we were apart for two months. I will never listen to anyone who tells me to stay away from you.”

Christen feels weak and defeated. Does everybody in Tobin's life think she isn't good enough for her? That nothing between them will last? Is she not accepted by Tobin's friends after all these years they've been dating?

Tobin wipes the drops of tears rolling over Christen’s cheeks with her thumb. “Babe, look at me, please. I love you that's the only thing that matters. I don't care what the rest of the world says. I love you.”

She wraps Christen in a hug. The tan girl clings onto her and buries the sobs in her chest. Tobin runs her hand up and down Christen’s black locks, trying to calm her girlfriend down whose mind is running a mile per minute overthinking things.

When Christen’s sobs have died down and her breathing begins to even out to normal, Tobin pushes their fronts apart to create some space between them. She tilts Christen’s chin up so that their eye level. Her favorite pair of green orbs are coated with fear and worry and concerns.

“Babe, there's nothing to worry about. Fuck Allie, I'm all yours.” Christen doesn't respond though. Instead she leans in and catches Tobin in another soft, tender kiss. She runs her tongue over Tobin's lips, asking for an entry which Tobin wholeheartedly grants. Their tongues languidly dance against each other. Christen can hear faint sounds of moans coming from herself as Tobin starts sucking her lower lip. She clings on to Tobin even tighter, trying to anchor herself at the moment, trying to convince herself that this woman is hers and no one's going to break them apart.

Tobin starts to feel fuzzy. Christen abandons her mouth and kisses down to her neck, sucking and nipping and licking every inch of Tobin’s afire skin.

They eventually pull back to catch some air. Both their chests heaving.

“I believe you.” Christen blurts out despite the difficulty in breathing. “If you say you're into this as much as I am, I believe you Tobin.”

She believes her not because Tobin said so. Christen believes Tobin because she can feel it. Now that she's calmed down, she realized Tobin doesn't even have to say anything. Her kisses and hugs and touches and the way her eyes communicate with Christen are more than enough to make Christen feel Tobin's heart and sincerity.

Tobin cups each side of her face and looks her in the eyes. “Babe, let's make this work not to prove Allie wrong or anyone who doubts us. Let's work this out because we love each other, because we want this, because we can't live a life without the other in it. Let's do this for us. Not for anybody else.”

Christen can only nod. Tobin's words render her into a ball of emotions ready to explode any minute. Tobin brings themselves into another passionate, demanding, and intoxicating kiss.

A few minutes of making out in the middle of the kitchen, Christen hears Tobin's stomach growl in hunger but Tobin doesn't budge nor stop. Her whole focus is on making Christen feel good and wanted and loved by her.

“Babe, hold up. Tobin baby...your dinner…You haven't eaten.” Christen finds herself struggling to speak as Tobin continues her ministrations to the expanse of her collarbones.

“Forget about dinner. I wanna skip to dessert.” Tobin muffles on her skin then nips and squeezes one of Christen’s breast with her palm.

Christen’s back arches forward from the contact. But Tobin can't lure her now to doing what she wants. Christen is determined to make her girlfriend feast on the sandwich she has prepared.

She pushes Tobin off and scowls at her, “I made those sandwiches for you. I've worked hard for those but you won't even appreciate them? How thoughtful!” Christen pouts like a toddler and steps backward, pretending to be mad and offended by Tobin's lack of appreciation.

They hear another fit of growl coming from Tobin's stomach. Christen cocks her head and raises her brows, internally celebrating that Tobin cannot ignore her point now.

Tobin scratches the back of her neck and scans the room, smirking when she sees the plate of sandwich on the countertop. Tobin detaches herself fully from Christen and strides forward.

“You're like my mom, always want the best for me.” She takes half of the sandwich and brings it in to her mouth, clumsily biting off a huge part.

“Tobin! That's disgusting!” Christen yells in horror.

“What?” Tobin's grinning all while chewing her sandwich.

“Are you seriously comparing me to your mom? A few seconds ago you were coaxing me to have sex!”

Tobin laughs out loud making her smother, some sandwich bits flying out from her mouth. Christen hurries to her and hands Tobin her half-full water bottle. Tobin drowns it empty before she's able to speak again. “That's what you get for putting sex on hold, babe.”

Christen rolls her eyes. “I really can't with you.” She turns her back and walks out to the living room. Her ass peaking out at the bottom of the hem of Tobin's shirt for each sway of her hips. 

“Finish your dinner so we can do something else.” Tobin can faintly hear Christen as the tan girl walks farther.

“It almost got me killed!” Tobin shouts from the middle of the kitchen, grinning and thinking to herself how she got so lucky to have Christen back in her life.

 

They cuddle and snuggle the rest of the night in Tobin's bed, only occasionally distracted and sidetracked by hands feeling each other up and mouths sucking, nipping, and licking skins.

“Allie said you were supposed to meet this afternoon.” Christen plainly states while absentmindedly drawing patterns on Tobin's shoulder. Tobin has her head rest on Christen’s chest and her arm draped across the tan girl’s torso.

“Yes, at her favorite café.” Tobin replies nonchalantly. She's reveling the comforting strokes of Christen’s fingers on her skin.

“If I didn't come, would you—when were you planning to talk to me?”

“Right after I was supposed to meet with Allie at the cafe. I just wanted to tell her a few things before I could come face you again.”

“If I didn't come and you met with her and she told you to break up with me, would you? Would you be convinced?” Christen groggily asks, concern evident in her voice.

Tobin props herself up with an elbow and stares at Christen earnestly.

“No. No, babe. I think I had already made up my mind even before I called Allie this morning right after I left your place. No matter what she was going to say I always knew I'd never break up with you. It wasn't an option. I guess I just needed to share and tell someone I could trust how I feel inside.”

“That's what I'm here for, Tobs.” Christen’s looking back at her intently.

“Yes and no.” Christen’s brows furrow in confusion.

But Tobin rushes to explain further before the wheels in Christen's mind could start to overthink and feed her with negative thoughts again.

“Babe, what I mean is, yes I wanna share and tell you about my feelings, too. But there are things that I can only share with my best friend. You know, same things that you can tell Kelley and can't with me. I don't know if I'm making sense right now but—” Tobin's rambling is cut off by a chaste kiss from Christen.

“Yeah, I think I understand what you mean.” She gives her a reassuring smile and pulls Tobin back to her chest. Silence envelops them before Christen speaks again.

“Does Allie know? Did you tell her about...me and…and Vero?” Christen trails, unsure if this is an appropriate topic to discuss at the moment.

Tobin remains quiet but Christen can feel Tobin’s grip on her side and Tobin's heart beating rapidly at the mention of Vero and the reminder of what happened between them. Sensing Tobin's jealousy, Christen doesn't push any further, not wanting to trigger Tobin and ruin the night for them.

“No, she doesn't.” Tobin finally speaks after a long and dragging silence between them. “It’s definitely something I have no right to tell people about, not even to my best friend. I'm never going to do that to you, Chris.”

Christen kisses the top of Tobin's head. “Thank you.” She muffles in Tobin's golden brown hair.

Christen tightens her arm around Tobin's shoulder. Their legs intertwining underneath the blankets and their bodies pressed, leaving no space even for air, as they both drift into sleep.

 

Christen wakes up in the morning with a smile on her face. Eyes still closed, she can smell Tobin, a mix of detergent and orange scent that's uniquely hers, from the blankets she's snuggling. She reaches her hand to Tobin's side of the bed when she's realized the absence of Tobin's warm body on hers.

Christen shoots up when she doesn't feel Tobin. Her heart sinks and panic floods over her when she sees the other side crinkled and empty. Her eyes scan the room searching for Tobin but she's nowhere around.

“Tobin?” Christen calls but doesn't get any response. 

She hops off from the bed and looks for her phone. She remembers she had it tucked in her joggers’ side pocket which she discarded by the front door yesterday. She quickly leaves Tobin's bedroom and sprints to the living room. The memories and feelings of waking up the other morning without Tobin in her bed come rushing back. Her vision starts to blur as tears appear in the corners of her eyes.

 _Not again please._ Christen internally begs.

Christen finds her joggers neatly folded on the couch. She hastily feels for her phone and takes it out. Her fingers fumble as she unlocks her phone and navigates through her contacts, pressing Tobin’s name to make a call. She's praying Tobin didn't unmindfully leave her phone like she always does.

It takes two rings from the other end of the line before Christen’s call is picked up.

“Babe?” Relief washes over Christen upon hearing Tobin's calm raspy voice.

“Where are you?” She can't help herself from sounding worried and freaked out and on the verge of breaking down.

“Babe, calm down. What's wrong? I'm just at the diner across the building to get us brea—” Christen doesn't let Tobin finish. She puts on her joggers and grabs Tobin's Nike sweatshirt that's hanging over the couch, pulling the fabric on right after. She opens the front door impatiently and bolts out of Tobin's apartment, slamming the door behind.

 

She reaches the diner in no time and swings the door open. Christen’s breathing hard from dashing straight to the place, her chest heaving like she's run a marathon. Christen immediately sees the brunette standing in a line, waiting for her turn. She strides forward and crashes her body to hers, taking the brunette by surprise. 

Christen feels Tobin stiffen before she’s being pushed off.

“Whoa what the fu—” Tobin stops mid-sentence when she realizes it's not some creepy stranger but Christen, eyes puffed and red. 

Tobin carefully cups each sides of her head, her pair of brown eyes hooded with concern. “Babe, what's wrong? Are you okay? You hurt?”

Christen buries herself into the crook of Tobin's neck and shakes her head. She doesn't care if they are being watched by other diners around them who are wondering what's happening to her. She clings onto Tobin's toned body seeking for solace.

“Don't you ever dare do it again.” She muffles against Tobin's skin. “Don't ever leave me again alone in bed without waking me up and telling me where you're going to.” She continues.

Tobin's running her hand up and down her back, calming her and giving her comfort. “Aw babe, I’m sorry I scared you. I just wanna grab breakfast. I wanted to surprise you in bed.”

“I'm sorry I panicked.” She feels embarrassed and small from acting so insecure.

“It's okay. Babe, I understand. But you don't have to be scared anymore. I'm not leaving you again. I promise.” Tobin kisses the top of Christen’s head and pulls her even closer.

“I trust you. Just that after the other morning, I freaked out when I woke up in bed alone again.” She explains herself.

“Does this mean no more surprise breakfast in bed for you from now on?” Christen pushes herself off from Tobin and childishly pouts.

“Noooo…I love it!”

Tobin laughs out loud, throwing her head back. “Okay, guess I'll just need to find a way then how to pull up a surprise breakfast without freaking you out.” She leans in and plants a lingering kiss on Christen’s chapped lips.

Christen breaks the kiss feeling an uneasy tingling in her core.

“Babe, I need to use the bathroom.” Tobin cocks her head to the side. “I need to pee.” Christen coyly confesses.

Tobin smiles and pecks her again. “Go, it's almost my turn anyway. Anything particular you want?”

Christen playfully untangles herself from Tobin. “Surprise me.” She winks before turning around. Tobin gawks at her retreating figure and bites her bottom lip in appreciation of Christen’s perfect, firm ass swaying side to side.

 

Christen growls at her reflection in the mirror. She couldn't look more disheveled if she wanted to. Her dark curls are springing out, her green eyes puffed and swollen, her nose a little red, her cheeks showing evidence of trails from the tears that flowed down from the corners of her eyes.

She splashes cold tap water over her face and washes out her sleep, rubbing off her morning face. She pulls her hair in a messy bun and stares at herself in the mirror, taking one last deep breath before walking out back to Tobin.

Tobin's standing next to the take-out counter. Her face is stern and she has her arms crossed beneath her breasts. She's facing a tall blonde woman whose back is on Christen. She can't make up who the other person is from where she's standing at but the blonde’s silhouette appears to be a little familiar.

The two seem to be in a deep conversation. Tobin's face remains plain and hard. 

Finally sensing Christen’s stare from the distance, Tobin locks eyes with her earnestly. Christen smiles at her and is rewarded with a small smile from the brunette. Tobin drags her eyes off from Christen’s and peeps at the woman in front of her, nodding her head at something.

The blonde runs a hand down over Tobin’s bicep before pulling out and walking toward the door. Tobin's eyes follow her as the woman steps out and crosses the street to where her black sedan is parked across the diner.

“Who's that?” Christen inquires, snaking her arms languidly around Tobin's waist.

Tobin blinks and drags her stare back at Christen and shrugs. “Just a stranger asking for directions.”

Christen closes her eyes as Tobin slowly leans forward for a kiss but just before their lips find each other's, a bell rings and an unfamiliar voice calls Tobin's name, signaling her order is ready.

Tobin still lands a chaste peck on her lips though before stepping back and moving to the counter to get their breakfast. Christen smiles and shakes her head, thinking how she got so lucky to have Tobin back in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to those who guessed right it was Allie!
> 
> Leave a comment and let me know what you think?:)


	10. Hormones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin is away for work leaving a sexually frustrated Christen behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intentionally cut this chapter into two. The other half will be posted on Sunday the soonest:)

Christen does not want to admit it. It's one thing she is ashamed of and feared people might discover about her soon. It's one thing Christen wishes she has control over but tragically she always losses to it and is completely incapable of doing anything every time it happens.

Tobin has discovered it early in their relationship though. Perhaps a little not more than a month since they have started dating. Tobin has figured it out even before Christen got the courage and a chance to tell the brunette about it. 

Every month, a week before Christen’s menstrual period starts, she undergoes severe hormonal imbalance that renders her to being chronically irritated to almost everything that surrounds her and sexually aroused and daring at all the damn times.

Christen gets pissed at everything. It doesn't matter how small or irrelevant it is or how unreasonable she's acting up—a single dried leaf on the pavement, the birds chirping in the trees, the sun being too bright, the moon being too round and shiny at night, Tobin's wide grin that occupies half her face, Kelley's freckles, Alyssa's huge fingernails, Julie’s straight blonde locks, the blueness of the yoga mats they use in their classes at the gym, the polite students greeting her with smiles in the morning, the ticking of the wall clock, the kids by the park playing football, her mom tagging her in her Instagram posts that have nothing to do with her, etc.

Whenever this would happen, Christen would just choose to stay at home, away from anyone she might unintentionally offend or pick a fight with because of her inability to suppress this ugly version of her.

Christen thinks the chemical imbalance in her body doesn't only turns her into a grumpy irrational bitch but it totally transforms her into a beast that no one can stand, except Tobin. Time and time again Tobin has proven to her that she is Christen’s Belle.

Unlike everyone around them, Tobin finds this Christen version 2.0 adorable, maybe even her favorite some times. Surprisingly too, Tobin very well knows how to calm Christen down when she's about to combust and throw a fist at anyone or anything that's making her blood boil of anger. She would soothe Christen by rubbing the small of her back or enveloping Christen’s hands with hers and then kissing them lovingly while looking at her green orbs. And if it shows to be insufficient to cool her girlfriend down from her uncontrollable outburst, Tobin would wrap her in a hug, press their bodies, and plant soft, warm kisses along her jawline and whisper sweet nothings in her ear.

Those are all little simple things and nothing special or spectacular about what Tobin does to calm her. In fact a few of Christen's ex had tried doing the same things to her before but they all failed. Those things only work if it's Tobin. It seems that Tobin is the only person who can manage and tame her irritability and annoyance. She's the only person who has the calming, therapeutic effect on Christen.

Christen knows Tobin even finds her sexy when she's going through it. Christen suspects it must be from the nonstop sex they do. Yes, Tobin tames her grumpiness and crankiness but on the other hand she also fuels Christen’s hormonal sexual desires. Christen thanks the universe and the heavens that Tobin is more than willing and knows how to deliver when she's needed and attends to Christen's lustful requests and ideas.

Tobin can always keep up with her and never complains rather she complies to anything Christen asks from her. Her top priority is to please Christen the best that she can. Her strength and energy and vigor are always at the peak. It must be from the tons of sports she plays, Christen thinks. And Christen couldn't be more thankful for that because finally she gets to enjoy and experience the kind of sex life she deserves.

Christen's sex life was bland and boring before. Her boyfriend in her senior year in high school was a nice guy but he was lousy and predictable in bed. He was always inadequate and could not fulfill Christen’s desires. She could not even remember having even one orgasm in their six-month long relationship. Often times Christen would resort to getting off all by herself while fantasizing or watching matured videos in her room. She felt masturbating with her bare hands or with toys was more pleasurable than having sex with him. That her fingers could do more magical things than his cock. That an artificial plastic penis and vibrator felt more good than the actual flesh of her ex-boyfriend.

When Christen reached college, she only had casual one night stands with both sexes until her junior year but none of them really made her feel really good and satisfied. There was always something missing and lacking.

Christen must admit though that Vero was a good fuck. The best among the previous people she had sexual encounters with. She was great at giving pleasure in ways Christen didn't know were possible before they started dating. Vero got tender talented tongue and long, firm, skilled fingers and she was always up to Christen’s kinks. But good sex was all Christen had with Vero. 

Christen didn't feel anything more than just lust with her. The sex was undeniably good but she couldn't feel any deeper connection between them. As the days passed by, the more she knew there was something missing and lacking again. That sex wasn't enough anymore for her. That along with it she's missing something that either Vero couldn't give or she didn't have for Vero. Christen was not sure, could not point what it was exactly she was looking for until she met Tobin and they started dating.

With Tobin it's different. Not only is the sex mind-blowing and puts her exes into shame. All her previous feelings of insufficiency and inadequacy were filled in. She feels full and whole and complete. Yes the lust and sexual attraction are still dominating factors and play a significant part in fueling up their relationship but more than that she feels loved and adored every time they make love. In fact it doesn't even have to be sexual all the time. She feels worshiped just by the way Tobin looks at her and holds her hand or wraps her in a hug. Every time Tobin calls her babe and kisses her on the lips, on the cheeks, or at the back of her hand. When Tobin tells her good night and greets her in the morning and surprises her with breakfast.

Tobin fills her up by the little things she does for and to Christen. 

Christen has realized she only felt inadequate and incomplete with her past relationships and sexual partners, not entirely because she felt shortchanged when it came to sex. She felt deficient and lacking because there was nothing in it but all sex and lust and no love at all.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christen is in her second class of the day at the community college. She's fidgeting in her chair facing the blank monitor of her laptop while impatiently waiting for each of her students to finish the 15-page powerpoint “surprise” quiz projecting on the huge white canvass in front of the room.

She should feel guilty for untimely giving the quiz because it wasn't supposed to be given until next week but she couldn't care less at the moment. She has been feeling under the weather since morning. She knows half of the reason why she's a little cranky is because she has been missing Tobin. The brunette has been away for days now for an out-of-town shoot and will not be coming home until tomorrow afternoon. And the other half is that she can feel her period coming in a few days. It is making everything start to feel off and annoying and Tobin's absence isn't helping at all. It only leaves her sexually frustrated and even more grumpier, which is unfortunately to the expense of her students who she knows are internally cursing her right now.

Christen shuts her laptop close and scans the room. It's been almost an hour since the quiz has started but no one has submitted their papers yet, Christen irrationally thinks.

“C’mon class, this should be easy. We've already discussed this.”

She attempts to cheer the class from her table at the dim corner but her impatience is spilling over and evident in her voice that it's enough to make her sound like she's nagging and whining. In return, she earns loud disapproval grunts and notice a few eye-rolls from her students.

Christen doesn't care less. Smirking, she takes her phone out from her purse to check if Tobin has texted her or called. But her notification remains empty, much to her growing disappointment. She navigates through her contacts and contemplates a little while before sending Tobin a quick message. 

**Christen Press:** Babe I miss you:(

Her message has been delivered but Tobin hasn't read it yet which only ignites more the fire in Christen's frustration. She slumps to her chair and is about to drop her phone down to her table in front when an idea pops in her mind.

She hastily unlocks her phone and taps the photo icon on her screen. A coy yet naughty smile appears on her face when she finds the album where she saves Tobin's private photos. 

Christen scrolls down and finds her favorite. A stolen photo of Tobin in a black thong bending over to get something inside the fridge. Her toned thigh muscles and firm, round, perfect ass in full display.

She remembers taking the photo completely naked and sprawled out after Tobin fucked her senselessly on the top of the kitchen island.

Christen bites her lip and a strong gust of heat flood all over her from head to her core. Her neck and arms are starting to warm up and she’s twitching from the light pulsing between her legs. She's thankful nobody can notice whatever's happening to her from the far side corner. The lights are out and the entire room is only illuminated by the faint light coming from the powerpoint on display and by the laptops of her students.

Christen swipes left to the next picture. Tobin is already facing the camera. She's biting a strawberry and a blue Gatorade in her hand. Her bare chest, small breasts and pink nipples, is exposed for Christen’s green orbs to gawk over. Christen fidgets from her chair. She can feel her wetness starting to dampen her underwear.

She swipes next and immediately heats up more seeing it's the video of her and Tobin she recorded. She contemplates a little, thinking what she's doing and still about to do is so unprofessional and unethical. But she's been missing Tobin so much and she's too damn horny at the moment that committing work inappropriateness does not concern her anymore.

She takes a deep long breath. _Fuck it!_ Christen internally cuss. She hastily looks for her earphones inside her purse and takes it out, plugging it in her phone jack clumsily. 

However, just as she's about to press play she hears footsteps coming and rustlings. Christen looks up and sees students slowly leaving their chairs and moving forward to her direction with their papers in tow.

She tucks her phone back inside her purse and fixes herself, pulling on a stern look to cover up her arousal.

“Set them over there,” she coldly points to the left corner of the desk, instructing a few students who have gathered in front of her desk.

One by one, each of her students starts to leave emptying the premise and only a few is left struggling to finish the quiz. Christen picks her phone out and unlocks the screen. She pulls on her earphones, looking up first just to be sure no one's going to sneak a peek of what she is dying to do. There are only about five more students left, each focused on the task before them.

Sensing the coast is clear, Christen presses the play button and gulps as the video starts to roll. It shows a grinning Tobin in messy hair, bare chest, hovering over Christen’s naked figure at the counter top of her kitchen.

Tobin brings herself down and painfully swirls her tongue around Christen's erect nipple. Christen's back arches forward to push herself more against Tobin's hot mouth, seeking for more heat and contact. Christen throws her head back gripping the edge of the counter tight as Tobin feast savagely on her breast, sucking a nipple while tugging the other one between her fingers.

Christen squeezes her thighs against each other under the desk, feeling more aroused than ever just by watching their video. Beads of sweat appear slowly on her forehead despite the cold air coming from the air condition vent and keeps on swallowing to ease the dryness in her throat.

Christen jerks up when all of a sudden a student sets her paper hard with a thud, shaking the desk. Christen looks up and only sees the back of the retreating student swiftly striding away to the door. She’s about to snap, both for being disrespected and interrupted, when she hears a loud moan coming from her earphones, attracting her attention back to the video that's still going in her phone.

Tobin is now grinding her core against Christen's spread legs. Their tongues swirl around each other's while Christen is gripping on Tobin's hips pulling the brunette harder and deeper into her.

Tobin breaks the kiss and kisses down at the length of Christen’s neck and collarbone. She tugs on Christen's nipple first before sliding down south, blowing a warm breath into Christen's throbbing core.

“Fuck!” Christen hears herself cuss.

Tobin pushes herself up. She sneaks a hand between Christen's legs and starts caressing her folds, rubbing up and down, as her mouth reclaims Christen’s breast.

“Tobin…baby…ahhh…more…” Christen begs. She's twirling her fingers through Tobin's hair, pulling the brunette closer to her chest.

“Wider,” Tobin instructs as she spreads Christen even wider. She grips on Christen's leg and hangs it over her shoulder, giving her more leverage to finger Christen in a better angle. Tobin's hand crawls back to Christen's wet folds and rubs for a while before slamming a finger inside Christen’s core without many preamble.

“Fuck!” Christen shouts, rocking her hips rhythmically to meet each thrust of Tobin's finger inside her.

Tobin adds one more finger, filling Christen up. She pumps harder and deeper and more aggressively. The base of her palm hitting Christen’s swollen clit, sending electricity down the tan girl's spine.

“Don't close your eyes. Look at me! Baby look at me!” Tobin rasps out while holding an eye contact with Christen who can barely keep her eyes open, too immersed in the feeling of Tobin inside her.

“Baby...Jesus! Fuck! Harder! I'm…I’m so…close…please…baby kiss me!” She pleads for her dear life.

Tobin complies and leans down, recapturing Christen’s awaiting lips. She sucks on Christen's tongue earning a deep, guttural groan from the tan girl writhing underneath her.

“Come for me…come all over my fingers babe…” Tobin seductively mumbles over Christen's agape mouth.

Tobin curls her fingers and pumps shallower thrusts in a faster pace. She tilts her hand a little and then thumbs Christen’s throbbing bundle of nerves mercilessly, pushing Christen off the edge.

Christen's phone buzzes all of a sudden and a message pops up on the screen, freezing the video.

**Tobin Heath:** Oh really? How much?

_What the hell is she talking about? _Christen internally groans. She taps the message, opening the thread of their conversation. _Ohhh…_ Realization dawns on her when she reads the text she previously sent Tobin.__

____

____

____**Christen Press:** So much baby that I'm watching a video of us in my class;)_ _ _ _

____Christen looks up to the rest of the room while waiting for Tobin's response. The five students haven't abandoned their seats yet. All still engrossed with their work at hand. Her phone buzzes again showing a quick reply from her girlfriend._ _ _ _

____**Tobin Heath:** _Hmmm you're a one naughty professor, Ms. Press...__ _ _ _

____Christen bites her lower lip imagining the things she wanted to do with Tobin had the brunette was in the room at the moment._ _ _ _

____**Christen Press:** _Oh yeah? You wanna do something about it?__ _ _ _

____She quickly shoots back. Desire and anticipation slowly building at the pit of her stomach._ _ _ _

____**Tobin Heath:** You bet. And I t has something to do with you, a desk, and a lecture stick…_ _ _ _

____Christen squeezes her thighs tight, feeling the wild throbbing of her clit underneath her underwear. Explicit images of Tobin doing things to her on her desk come rushing in her mind._ _ _ _

____She hears rustling and all five students push themselves up from their seats and start coming forward to her direction. They place their papers down on the pile on her desk and leave the room, much to Christen's delight and relief._ _ _ _

____She sits up and rushes to the doors securely locking them both so that no one's going to bust in uninvited and interrupt and catch her doing business on the phone._ _ _ _

____She turns off the projector making the entire room even dimmer and pulls out her flash drive, tossing it back to her purse. She picks up her phone and calls Tobin instead of texting her back._ _ _ _

____It only takes two rings before Tobin answers the call._ _ _ _

____“Hey baby,” Tobin's raspy voice greets her from the other line._ _ _ _

____“I want you to fuck me right now.” Christen blurts out. Thinking this is not the time to be coy and play demure._ _ _ _

____“What? Aren't you in class?” Confusion and shock from Christen's bluntness have taken Tobin aback._ _ _ _

____“No, I’m free now and so horny. You really need to help me get off right now cause if you won't then I'll just have to find someone else to do it in your stead.”_ _ _ _

____“Chris, don't you dare,” Tobin warns. Jealousy takes over what's usually just a hoarse voice. “Okay, where are you?” She continues._ _ _ _

____“Inside my classroom. Don't worry I'm alone now.”_ _ _ _

____“What was that video you were watching?”_ _ _ _

____“It was us fucking on the kitchen counter.” Christen settles herself back in her seat. “Baby I miss you.” Her desperation to be touched by Tobin now revealing more._ _ _ _

____“I miss you, too. Can you watch the video again?” Tobin asks from the other line._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, hold on a sec.” Christen turns her laptop on and immediately enables airdrop. “I just have to—” She navigates her phone and sends the video to her laptop. “—there…”_ _ _ _

____She lowers the volume first so that no one's gonna eavesdrop outside the room before clicking the play button. The video rolls again, Christen skipping through a few parts until it shows the part where she's at the peak of her orgasm._ _ _ _

____“Tell me what's going on.” Tobin instructs._ _ _ _

____“You're fucking me hard with your fingers.” Christen describes._ _ _ _

____“Oh yeah? What else baby?” Tobin coaxes her to say more._ _ _ _

____“I’m riding out my orgasm but you're not stopping with your fingers. You're still fucking me hard and fast.” Christen is starting to feel hot again. The sight of her sprawled out on the counter top while Tobin fucked her unforgivingly is making her clit throb painfully._ _ _ _

____“Shit, this is frustrating. How about we FaceTime. Is that okay?” Tobin says pleadingly. Not satisfied anymore just hearing Christen’s voice._ _ _ _

____“Better! Lemme end this call first.” She enthusiastically replies._ _ _ _

____“Sure, I'll be waiting. Don't take long.” Tobin sounds desperate as well._ _ _ _

____Christen drops the call. “Hey Siri, FaceTime Tobin Heath.”_ _ _ _

____“Searching for Cabin Heat.” Siri’s robotic, computer-generated voice attends to Christen's request._ _ _ _

____“Bitch no!” Christen growls in frustration. “Siri, call TOE-BIN HEATH.” The raven haired girl tries again._ _ _ _

____“Calling Tobin Heath.” Siri finally getting her command right._ _ _ _

____It only takes a single ring for Tobin to pick the call up. “Hey baby…” A grinning face greets Christen._ _ _ _

____“Hey gorgeous!” Christen stares at Tobin lovingly. Her hair is beautifully pulled down over her shoulders. She's wearing her pair of eye-glasses that makes her look so goddamn good and just in her black Nike sports bra. She's lying on what it seems to be a couch._ _ _ _

____“You look so hot.” Christen continues._ _ _ _

____“Look who's talking.” Tobin gawks at her meaningfully. Christen is only illuminated by the faint light coming from her laptop screen. “Baby, touch yourself,” Tobin orders, not wanting to beat around the bush and waste more time. Her voice is strained with lust and want._ _ _ _

____Christen obliges and dips her fingers in her wet, warm, aching core eagerly._ _ _ _

____“Baby I'm so wet…” She moans._ _ _ _

____Tobin takes a deep breath and fidgets on her seat._ _ _ _

____“How wet…baby how wet are you for me? Tell me.”_ _ _ _

____“I'm soaked. It's gonna leave a stain in my pants later.” Christen starts rubbing her fingers up and down along her slick folds and occasionally teases the opening of her core while watching the video intently._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Tobin is still hammering her pussy with her long, firm fingers in the video. She slowly abandons Christen’s breasts and kisses down south. She looks up to Christen before diving in and capturing Christen’s swollen clit, licking and sucking._ _ _ _

____“Baby fuck your pussy for me…show me how much you're missing me.” Tobin begs from the other line, seeing Christen getting work up on the screen._ _ _ _

____Christen feels intoxicated both from Tobin's lustful voice and hooded eyes and the action that is happening in the video. She roughly inserts two fingers in her core and starts pumping in and out on a frantic pace._ _ _ _

____“Oh god! Fuck!” She bites her lips to muffle the cuss words coming from her mouth._ _ _ _

____“Oh yeah, that's it baby…fuck that naughty pussy hard…”_ _ _ _

____Christen shuts her eyes closed and sees Tobin's face in the dark, stern and lustful. Her eyes coated with so much desire and want._ _ _ _

____“God I’m close! Tobin!” Christen tilts her hand and starts circling her clit with her thumb._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, think about me licking your pussy. Sucking your clit, biting it. Me pumping in and out of you.” Tobin rumbles out._ _ _ _

____Christen drops her phone on the desk, unable to contain herself anymore. She sneaks a hand to her breast underneath her blouse and bra, rolling her taunt nipple and then pinching and tugging. A few more thrusts and circling around her clit, Christen is already a ball of mess._ _ _ _

____She can't see Tobin from her position and from where she dropped her phone but she can hear the brunette’s ragged voice muffling through her earphones, panting and breathing hard._ _ _ _

____“Oh fuck! I'm coming! Shit! Ugghhh…” Christen throws her head back at the intensity of her orgasm._ _ _ _

____She can also make up a few cuss words from Tobin on the other end of the line until silence envelops them for a while. Neither speaking a word. Only labored breaths and puffs can be heard from either line of the call._ _ _ _

____“Tobin?” Christen finally breaks the lull. She feels for her phone at the desk and picks it up. Tobin looks disheveled and spent out, too._ _ _ _

____“Did you…were you touching yourself, too?” She breathes out despite the lack of air in her lungs at the moment._ _ _ _

____“Yeah baby…you helped me get off, too. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.” Tobin chuckles. “Thanks by the way, that was so good.” The brunette continues._ _ _ _

____“No, thank YOU. I had an intense orgasm.” Christen smiles. She pulls her hand out from her core and brings her fingers to her mouth, lapping on the faint saltiness and earthly taste of her own juice._ _ _ _

____“Fuck, I love you, Christen.” Tobin adoringly stares at her._ _ _ _

____“Tobin, I love you, too. I can't wait for you to come home, baby.” Christen's chest swells and warms up. Overwhelmed by the feeling of being loved and in love._ _ _ _

____“I can't wait, too. I'll be home tomorrow night. I miss you so much.” Sweetly tells her._ _ _ _

____“I thought you'd be back by noon?” Christen is a little disappointed. She thought she was going to see Tobin and have her way with her sooner._ _ _ _

____“Yeah but I gotta stop by the office first. I have to do some urgent errands. But I’m all yours after that.” Tobin tries to explain._ _ _ _

____“Okay.” Is all Christen can say. She's disappointed and mad at Tobin. She thought she could have all of her, body and soul, by noon all to herself until they were both exhausted and couldn't move a single muscle from being oversexed._ _ _ _

____Tobin knows this tone. She knows it's Christen ignoring reasons and being irrationally pissed again. “Babe, don't be—”_ _ _ _

____“Didn't I say it's okay?” Christen cuts her off. “If you don't wanna spend time with me as soon as you're back, it's fine."_ _ _ _

____"Baby, it's not what I mean. You know I miss—” But before Tobin can explain further, Christen ends the call, throwing her phone back to her purse and fixes herself. She grabs her things in urgency then rushes out from the room._ _ _ _

____"She's been away for days and the first thing she wants to do as soon as she's back in town is stop by her office and work? Fuck! If she doesn't wanna give what I want as soon as possible, I’m gonna get it from somewhere else then." Christen recklessly thinks to herself._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a while because 1) life is insanely crazy, bouncing off from school and work and other social stuff 2) im having some kind of a small writer's block so if you could be kind enough to voice out what you expect or want to happen next, just leave it on the comment box. thanks!


	11. Shiny Rock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took long. I somewhat deleted from my laptop the first draft that I wrote and I had to write again from the start.

Christen’s deep slumber is cut off by the loud blaring of her phone somewhere in her room. The thick piles of comforters and blankets and pillows that cover her from head to toe provide a little help to block her from the noise. Christen stretches her arm and groggily reaches for her bedside table where she put her phone down hours ago. Eyes flinching from the faint light of her screen, Christen smirks when she sees the person calling and interrupted her sleep.

“Hey babe.” Christen lazy greets, scratching her eyes with her free hand and letting out a small yawn.

“Babe, I've been calling.” Tobin whines.

Christen chuckles, imagining how cute Tobin must look like frowning and pouting adorably from the other end of the call.

“Sorry, I was dead tired and fell asleep. I was so exhausted.” Christen half-heartedly apologizes.

She hears Tobin gulps, “yeah, umm I know… you've worn yourself out doing…stuff.” She trails, sounding more nervous and strained.

“Yeah, my class was so exhausting today. Hella burned me out.” Christen innocently says.

Tobin groans from the other line, “No, babe, not that. I mean the other stuff. You know...”

Christen guiltily bites her lip, knowing fully well what Tobin is referring to.

“What other stuff, babe? I don't know what you're talking about.” She teases. She likes it when she makes Tobin flustered.

Tobin groans again. “You know what I mean. The video you sent me.” Tobin’s voice is laced with a mix of want and frustration.

Christen sits up and grabs a pillow, placing it against the headboard so she can lean on it and make herself more comfortable while talking to her girlfriend. She can't help the wide smile that stretches across her face from ear to ear remembering her compulsive hormone-driven behavior a while ago.

 

Christen bolted out from the community college after her not-so decent phone call with Tobin. She was pissed at her girlfriend. All she wanted was for Tobin to go straight home when she's back in town, to spend the entire afternoon with her, for them to spend time after Tobin was away for a couple of days for work but apparently Tobin had other things in mind. Apparently spending time with Christen wasn't her first priority but her job which made Christen livid and more sexually frustrated at the moment.

She drove fast to downtown and stopped on the street across a shop that she would usually just pass by when she would drive on her way to the gym. She had never been in the shop before but Christen knew exactly what she wanted to grab and take home with her from the store.

She unbuckled her seat and sprinted to the shop. She scanned the interior of the store once she stepped inside, thinking where to find her needed stuff. A woman in her mid twenties approached Christen asking what she was looking for.

“Oh! They are over there on the second shelf to the left.” The woman instructed Christen. “Do you want help getting them?” She continued with an oversized smile plastered on her face.

“No thanks. I think I can manage.” Christen politely declined the offer, giving her a timid smile before striding to the direction the woman pointed.

Christen hurriedly grabbed the stuff she wanted then hastily went to the cashier and paid. She drove to her place in record time, jogging up the stairs and zoning out everything that surrounded her not wanting anything to delay the task she had in hand. She had a mission and she had to accomplish it as soon as possible.

As soon as she reached inside her apartment Christen sprinted to her room, dropping her keys and purse on the floor while securely towing the brown paper bag of stuff with her. She placed the paper bag on her bed and started kicking her shoes and ripping her clothes off, from her white long-sleeved blouse, her pants, down to her underwear. 

“Fuck!” Christen cussed remembering she dropped her purse in the hallway. She walked out of the room, not bothered by the slightest by her nakedness, and picked up her purse. She quickly took her phone out and opened the camera, her hands were shaking while setting the camera on video mode.

She set the device on the bedside table to the right and made sure it had the perfect angle to capture what she was about to do before walking back to the edge of the bed and digging the stuff inside the brown paper bag. She sighed taking out a medium bottle of lube, silver Ben Wa balls, a black strap-on, a brown dildo, and a pair of chained vibrating nipple clamps and clit clip.

Christen contemplated for a while what to use before grabbing the bottle of lube and the brown dildo. She crawled to the center of the bed and rested a few pillows against the head board, settling herself right after. She was going to put on a show for Tobin. Christen thought, if her words and pleas were not enough to convince the brunette to come home to her quickly, perhaps actions would do the job for her. Maybe the sight of her with a few toys would make Tobin forget about work and all else in the world.

When Christen was done she was beyond exhausted. She was covered with sweat and smelled sex. Her body was in sweet pain and delicious spasm. She chuckled while still spread on her bed. She couldn't wait for Tobin to watch the video she sent a while ago. She made sure she was moaning and yelling Tobin's name beyond necessary while pleasuring herself.

A few minutes later, Christen fell asleep out of exhaustion, thinking about how the video would tease Tobin, would make her suffer, and would punish her wherever she was at the moment.

 

Christen is brought back to present by another groan coming from Tobin.

“Oh yeah? You like it?” She teases more, wanting to purge more reaction from Tobin who's starting to fidget and sweat from the other line.

“Babe you're going to kill me.” Tobin says it more like of a plea than a plain statement. 

Christen smirks feeling victorious. This is what she likes best when she's in control of the situation. When she has Tobin totally on the palms of her hands and she can get whatever she asks from the brunette.

“Well, you know exactly what to do.” She nonchalantly says, pretending not to be affected by the frustration in Tobin's voice.

“What do you want me to do?” Tobin is almost begging.

“Come home right away tomorrow. I have so much here we can try together.” Christen lustfully murmurs, trying the best she can to persuade her girlfriend.

Tobin grunts, releasing a deep breath. “I'll be home tomorrow. You know that.”

“Come home at noon, forget about going to your office.” The conversation is starting to frustrate Christen, too. She hates she has to beg for Tobin's time and attention.

“Chris, I can't. It's something really important. I can't bail out on this. But it'll be quick. I promise. I'll be home as soon as I'm done.” Tobin justifies herself but Christen will not accept any form of explanation.

“And this conversation is done, too. Bye.” Christen ends the call, leaving Tobin hanging from the other line. She gets off from her bed and strides to the bathroom, opting to take a shower to cool herself down from her boiling anger.

 

After a much needed long cold shower, Christen finds herself sitting comfortably on her couch in the living room watching an episode of Jane the Virgin, a bowl of popcorn on her lap, a box of leftover donuts on her left, and a bottle of beer in her hand. She's mopping and alone. If she had a cat, one would mistaken her as a single-old lady.

A soft knock on the door jolts her from her seat. Christen clumsily places the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table and excitedly hurried to the door. She's smiling bright, thinking it's Tobin and her method really worked out.

“I know you can't say no to —” She cuts herself off opening the front door, seeing a blonde with blue eyes and knitted brows instead and not her favorite brunette with golden eyes and stupid grin on her face.

“…to what?” Julie crosses her arms and raises her brows, looking intently to Christen.

“Oh Jules, I wasn't expecting—I thought it was To—what brings you here? You didn't—” Christen rambles, barely hiding the disappointment in her voice.

“Oh woah Pressy, slow down. May you let me come in first? God it's quite cold here outside.” Julie interrupts, who's now rubbing the sides of her arms for warmth.

Christen steps back and opens the door wider so her friend can come in. “Yeah sure, I was just—”

“Waiting for Tobin?” Julie cuts her off again, walking straight to her couch, slumping next to the box of donuts as Christen shuts the door closed behind.

Christen follows her friend, picking up the box off the couch and settling herself. “Yeah, I thought it was her.” She takes out a donut and takes a huge bite of it.

Julie only nods, her attention darts on the tv screen. “Is she supposed to come home tonight?” The blonde asks, eyes still on the tv.

Christen finishes the donut first before answering Julie, “No but…” She trails. She doesn't know how to share her situation to her friend without telling her about her phone sex with Tobin, the video she sent, and her growing sexual frustration as they speak.

Julie drags her eyes off from the tv. Christen fidgets from her seat, awfully aware and uncomfortable under the prying eyes of her friend who's head cocks to the side as she intently observes Christen.

“I was just with her on the phone earlier and I kinda tried talking her to going home soon cause you know I miss her so much. When I heard a knock on the door I just thought maybe she wanted to surprise me and I—”

“Chris…Christen stop, breathe. Stop rambling. You don't have to explain.” Julie laughs at her.

Christen looks down to her lap, feeling embarrassed. “I'm sorry, I just miss Tobin so much and I feel like exploding any second if I don't get to tell anyone about how I feel.”

Christen toys with the hem of her shirt, still not meeting the deep blue eyes of her friend.

“Wow she's that good in bed huh.” Julie chuckles while shaking her head.

“What! Julie it's not like that.” Christen pushes her friend's shoulder, blushing and chuckling along with the blonde this time.

“Oh come on! Trust me, I know that feeling, Chris. I can sense sexual frustration when I see one.” Julie taps her lap to channel her empathy to the tanned woman.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, shut up Julie!” Christen’s blush becomes redder. She's flushed from head to toe.

“But seriously, Chris. She'll be back. Don't worry. For the mean time, you just gotta take care of yourself while she's away.” Julie gives her a knowing look.

“Oh my god!” Christen rolls her eyes.

“Shut up as if you haven't masturbated your whole life! Tell me you haven't!” Christen can only shake her head. If only Julie knows what she's been doing in her room a while ago.

When Christen fails to give any form of response other than shaking of her head, Julie bursts out into a full blown laughter, clenching her shirt out of pure bliss.

“Why are you here by the way? Surely you didn't come up here just to pry on my sex life, right?” Christen spits out while grabbing another donut to munch, drowning it in with the beer in her hand.

It takes a few more minutes for Julie to recover and compose herself. She grabs Christen’s beer and takes a long swig, her other hand wiping a few tears in the corners of her eyes.

“Yeah, about that. I have a favor to ask actually.” Julie starts, handing the beer back to Christen.

Christen grabs the bottle and chugs, eyes on her friend’s pair of blue.

“What favor?” She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

Julie sighs, a little hesitant. “You're free tomorrow afternoon, right?”

Christen bobs her head, curious to what her friend wants from her.

“Can you cover my class for me at the gym? I wanna make up to Zack for forgetting our anniversary. I was so busy last time that I totally didn't remember. Please, Chris? It's just ah hour session that will start on one. Won't take long.” The blonde begs, giving Christen her best puppy eyes.

Christen doesn't respond right away. She's thinking she doesn't have much to do tomorrow anyway. She has a class at the community college that ends before lunch and since Tobin won't be home till night, she has the entire afternoon free.

Besides, she needs something to occupy her mind and time while her girlfriend is away. She needs something to be busy with so she won't spend her entire afternoon brooding and hating and missing Tobin at the same time. And what better way to make her inner beast calm and at peace than yoga.

Placing her now empty beer, Christen smiles at her friend. “Yeah Jules, don't worry. I got you.”

Julie jerks up and bounces up and down on her couch. “You're the best Pressy! I owe you big time!” She slumps above Christen, giving the tan girl a crushing hug.

“Jules, you're killing me. I can't breathe!” Julie lifts herself off from her. Both of them chuckling.

“I'm sorry. I'm just excited, Pressy.” The blonde jokingly apologizes.

“It's only fair, you know. You've covered for me a couple of times before. I'm just returning the favor, Jules.” Christen cocks her head and stares at her friend questioningly. “Wait, you're saying you're excited to make up to Zack. What are you proposing or what?” Christen jokes.

Julie doesn't respond. Instead she pushes herself off the couch and bolts fast to the front door.

“Wait, Jules! Are you!” Christen hastily follows her friend but Julie is already halfway outside.

“I'm not gonna tell! But who knows I might!” Julie shouts back at her while jogging backwards away from Christen. She's grinning wide and winks at Christen before turning her back and waving bye to her.

Christen can only smile and shake her head. She'll be happy for her friend if she gets engaged to Zack. They’ve been together for as long as time and are still so much in love with each other. But in spite that Christen thinks 25 is still relatively too young to settle. There's still so much that they can and must do before settling down for good. Like solo travels, learning new cultures, meeting new people, achieving career excellence, etc. She has thought about it and considered marriage a couple of times but she's not seeing her and Tobin settling down any time soon. It's just a fleeting thought that they both never really took seriously.

If she were Julie she'd think thoroughly about it a thousand times before committing herself into a such life-changing phase.

 

Christen's morning the next day passed by fast like a blink of an eye. She made her class watch an hour-long documentary, breaking again what's in the syllabus. She was supposed to give a lecture but wasn't in the mood for any talking. Tobin had not called nor texted since the other night and it was making her blood boil.

“You're so dead to me, Heath.” She whispers under her breath while driving to the gym and cruising through the heavy traffic.

 

She reaches the gym still royally pissed and internally cursing Tobin. She checks her phone for any call or text message one last time before stepping out of the car but there is still none that comes from her girlfriend.

“Fuck!” Christen bolts out and strides to the gym, swaying the glass door roughly and slamming it behind her so hard that it's almost a miracle it didn't break or crack.

She scans the receiving area. Julie's table is empty. Although she knows her friend has a plan, she thought she would at least wait for her before leaving.

Christen checks Julie's schedule on their chart hanging on the wall. Room 030, 1:00 p.m. She checks the clock and finds out she's already running fifteen minutes late. Oh fuck! Christen cusses, sprinting to the room and hoping her class has not left yet.

She clumsily pushes the door open, dropping her gym bag on the floor as she steps inside. “Hey guys, I’m so—” Christen cuts herself off. There's no one inside the room. It's eerily empty until she notices a picnic cloth spread on the center. It has a bottle of champagne, two flutes, grapes and slices of fruits, and sandwiches.

“Whoa…” Christen is stunned. She didn't expect Julie to pull off her romantic surprise for Zack in their yoga room. She shakes her head, grinning in disbelief.

Not wanting to ruin her friend’s plan, she's about to turn her back and leave the place when a firm arm wraps her from behind and a warm breath ghosts her exposed neck. Christen is startled and panics, writhing underneath the strong arm that envelops her.

“Hey babe, baby. It's me. Tobin.” A coarse voice tries to calm her down from behind. The arm enclosing her slowly loosens and turns her around.

Christen is met by her favorite pair of golden brown eyes happily staring at her. Tobin is grinning widely. Her hair falls perfectly over her shoulders, her lips are a little moist and pinkish, her teeth big and white as always. Oh god she's beautiful, Christen thinks to herself as she gulps at the sight of her girlfriend.

“Babe, I'm sorry I scared you.” Tobin apologizes before bending over and giving her a chaste peck on the cheek.

“Tobin, what are you doing here? I thought—” She pushes herself off from the brunette, remembering she's supposed to be pissed at the girl in front of her. “I thought you had work at the office.”

“No, I don't have…” Tobin trails. She steps forward to close out the gap between them. “I only said that so I could surprise you with these.” She lifts her other hand from her back and brings out a bouquet of daisies in different pastel colors, Christen’s favorite. Tobin brings it close to her nose and nuzzles it while looking at Christen. “For you, baby.”

Christen is stunned and confused at the same time, still not fully understanding what's happening. “But I was supposed to cover Julie's class cause she and Za—”

“No she made it up.” Tobin interrupts, chuckling. “I asked her if she could help me pull this off. I kinda forced her to be my accomplice. Julie's actually having her class in your room.” Tobin steps closer and wraps her arm around Christen. “Umm, Chris, you don't like them?” Tobin's smile falls into a frown.”

“Don't like what?” Christen asks confusingly again.

“These, your flowers.” Tobin lifts it up again, showing it to her girlfriend.

Christen smiles, her cheeks turning into a shade of red. She leans back and takes the bouquet from Tobin.

“No, I like them. They're pretty.” She brings it close to her nose to and smells them. “Thank you.”

“Not as pretty as you though.” Tobin quips.

“Oh shut up.” She playfully pushes Tobin away. "So you mean...you made me believe you'd be working, made me hella mad at you, forced my friend to lie on my face just so you could surprise me with that?" Christen points at the picnic-like setting at the center of the room.

"Yup!" Tobin enthusiastically replies, popping the letter P at the end and grins.

Christen frowns which alarms Tobin.

"Babe, are you still mad? I'm really sorry. I just wanted to be roma--" 

But before Tobin can finish, Christen swiftly snakes her free hand at the back of Tobin's neck and pulls her in to a hungry kiss.

Tobin returns the favor with an equally aggressive mouth. Their tongues fight for dominance, Tobin wraps Christen in her arms even tighter and pulls her in so their fronts are flushed against each other. Christen on the other hand, drops the bouquet of flowers and intertwines her hand through Tobin's hair, pulling the brunette even deeper to her mouth.

Christen steps forward, making Tobin step backwards until her muscled back and head hit the wall with a thud.

“Ow!” Tobin winces, breaking their kiss. But Christen is impatient, connecting their mouths again right after. Her hand running down to Tobin's torso until she reaches the hem of Tobin's shirt. She ghosts her fingers over Tobin's warm skin underneath the fabric, making Tobin moan in her mouth.

Christen brushes her fingers down south. She dodges Tobin's legs apart with her own. Tobin unconsciously spreads her legs, giving Christen the access that she needs. Christen dips her hand under Tobin's joggers and underwear, feeling the moist that's covering Tobin's sex.

“Fuck, you're so wet.” Christen breathes out.

“Chris…babe…” Tobin moans, she has her head thrown back while Christen is sucking on the skin along her neck.

“I want you.” Christen murmurs, running a finger along Tobin's wet folds. Her other hand hooks Tobin's leg and brings it around her waist, Tobin wrapping her leg around Christen out of reflex.

“Babe…wait…Christen…the champagne…I prepared…babe wait…” Tobin pleads but Christen is aggressive and clouded by lust and want at the moment to hear her. She runs her fingers again and roughly dips two inside Tobin.

“Fuck!” Tobin yells, she bends her head down and bites on Christen's shoulder as Christen pounds in and out of her mercilessly. “Fuck! Ahhh baby! Oh god!” Tobin tries to muffle the string of cursive words coming out of her mouth.

“I've missed you so much…” Christen whispers in her ear. Her hand continues to fuck Tobin relentlessly against the wall. “Baby, you're all mine. Just mine.” She twists her hand so she can thumb around Tobin's clit.

“Fuuuuck!” Tobin yelps out. They won't be surprised anymore if anyone overhears them. They don't care. Tobin lifts her head up and scoops Christen’s jaw, making their eyes meet. “Baby, I'm yours, all yours…” Tobin lustfully tells her.

Everything is so hot and too much that Christen can't think of anything to say back. Her pulse is throbbing wildly in her ears and the sight of Tobin alone and her voice are pushing her to the verge of an orgasm. She leans back and captures Tobin's mouth once more, channeling her emotions through her lips and tongue. Making this kiss convey to Tobin what words can’t.  
She speeds up pumping in and out of Tobin and draws circles around Tobin's clit faster. She feels Tobin's leg around her waist tighten and her other leg anchored on the floor tremble.

“I'm coming baby…fuck…keep going! Faster!” Tobin pleads so Christen complies.

“Yes baby…this is all mine…you are mine...Come for me, babe…come in my fingers…” Christen coaxes seductively.

“Christen….fuck! Ohhhh god I'm comi—” Tobin doesn't finish her word. She stiffens and her hands hooked around Christen grip even tighter. Tobin combusts and explodes in Christen's fingers.

“Baby…god, Chris…” Tobin grips on Christen's hand when she hasn't stopped pounding inside Tobin and rubbing her clit.

Christen stills her fingers. She leans forward and kisses Tobin deep. “I wanna do more.” She whispers.

Tobin reconnects their lips for a second and smiles. “This isn't part of my plan, actually.” She chuckles, cocking her head towards the center of the room where her surprise is placed sophisticatedly.

Christen chuckles as well, pulling out her hand from Tobin's thighs. She brings it to her mouth and laps on Tobin's juice. Tobin is staring at her with absolute awe and adoration.

“You're so beautiful.” Tobin confesses. “I love you so much.”

Christen moans still tasting Tobin in her fingers while maintaining eye contact with the brunette.

Tobin unwraps her trembling leg from Christen's waist and feels the back pocket of her joggers.

“This is not exactly how I planned this to be. We were supposed to drink champagne and eat fruits and do cute stuff but…you're so beautiful and I love you so much Christen. I can't wait anymore.” Tobin gulps. Beads of tears start to gather in the corners of her eyes. “Christen, I love you and you love me and I don't see any reason what took me so long to do this…” She takes out a small black box from her back pocket and lifts it up, opening it and revealing to Christen a golden ring with a glistening diamond rock on the top.

“Marry me.” Tobin takes the ring out from the box.

Christen stiffens, eyes wide, mouth half agape. “Tobin…” She untangles herself from the brunette and steps back, shaking her head in shock.

“Tobin, I'm…” Christen trails, looking at an expectant Tobin who's staring at her with so much love and hope. The diamond ring still in between her thumb and index finger, shining brightly— an absolute opposite of the gloom building inside Christen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this one and let me know what you think below.


	12. Anything You Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter. It's not that good though but I hope this will suffice.

“What are you doing?” Christen spits out, not even caring to hide her shock from her girlfriend.

Tobin inches closer to her, reaching for her hand.

“Chris, I'm proposing. I think it's quite obvious.” She flashes Christen her conducive bright smile, her eyes glistening with hope and expectations, which Christen doesn't reciprocate this time. Her face remains blank.

“Tobin…I don't know what to say.” Christen feels Tobin's hold on her hand tighten.  
“Say yes. That's all you have to say. That's all I want to hear.” Tobin lifts their joined hands and kisses the back of Christen's. “Marry me, Chris.” Hopeful pair of golden brown eyes boring to another pair of green orbs.

“Tobin we just got back together. What happened to taking things slow?” Christen tries to be the calmest that she can.

She's freaking out inside but she's also thinking about Tobin. She wants to consider her girlfriend's feelings, too. Christen doesn't want Tobin to get hurt or to think anything that might upset her although she herself is having an internal struggle on how to process the situation they are in.

Tobin pulls their hands and caresses the back of Christen's hand against her cheek, eyes still anchored on Christen's own.

“Babe, we've been together for two years. I think it's enough time to know each other. Besides…” She kisses Christen's hand again. “…that two-month breakup was just a hiccup. Something we needed to go through to realize how much we mean to each other—how much we love each other.”

Christen closes her eyes, reveling the feeling of Tobin's lips and her warm breath against her skin.

Tobin is right. Two years should be enough for them to know whether they are fit together for the long run or not. And she can't think of anyone else to spend her life with but with Tobin. However, Christen feels wrenching in the pit of her stomach every time she thinks of settling down for good. She thinks getting tied down would limit her from achieving and doing things ahead of her.

“Tobin, you got me off guard. We haven't talked abou—”

“We've talked tons of times about marriage, Chris. What are you saying?” Tobin drops her hand. Her playful yet hopeful demeanor is shifting into something Christen recognizes and she's afraid Tobin's losing her cool and is taking things the wrong way.

“Tobs, please don't be upset. I'm trying my best to absorb everything. You want us to get married but I'm still 25 and you're 26. There's so much we still have to do before tying down.” Christen explains herself as calm as possible, in a manner that she hopes Tobin meets her halfway.

Tobin runs a hand through her brown hair. She sighs deep with her eyes closed as if she's considering and contemplating Christen's side.

“Can you blame me getting upset right now? I just proposed to you and with all these bullshits you're saying, you're basically rejecting me, Christen. It's clear to me now.” Tobin stares at her. Her eyes are not pleading anymore. They are hooded with accusations and frustration and pain. 

Christen panics. She wants to say something to ease Tobin from feeling hurt. She wants to assure Tobin that she isn't abandoning her, that she loves her more than anything else but Christen remains quiet and motionless, except for the the few tears that find their escape from the corners of Christen's eyes.

“What else do you want to do? That you can't do with me being in the picture? I'm not gonna get in the way of the things that you want. You can still do whatever you want. I will never hold you back from your dreams or plans. I never did.” Tobin blurts out. She too is tearing up, red eyes, swollen lips. She has her head thrown back to prevent more tears from rolling down over her now puffy cheeks.

Christen closes the space between them. She has to do something before this day turns bad for the both of them. She reaches for Tobin's hand that's holding the ring in a ball of fist.

“Tobs, look at me…Tobin please, look at me.” She scoops Tobin's jaw down to meet her gaze but Tobin shuts her eyes, not meeting Christen’s. “Tobin, I want this. Believe me, I want this. I want to marry you…but just not now. This isn't the right time.”

Tobin turns her head to the side, opening her eyes. “I'm not saying we should get married right now or tomorrow. All I want is for you to say yes. It can be a five year engagement I won't mind. I can wait.”

“Then what's the difference if I say no now? If I say yes and we choose to put the wedding on hold for five years, what difference does it have if I say no and we continue as girlfriends without rings or whatsoever? I still have you, you still have me. We still love each other. All the same.”

“Then why not just say yes if it's just the same? I can reverse that and ask the same fucking question.” Tobin fires back.

Christen is starting to lose her patience over Tobin's stubbornness.  
Tobin pulls away and steps back. She puts the ring back to her pocket, not even minding to retrieve the small black box that has fallen by their feet on the floor.

She chuckles and shakes her head. “Stop begging for love Tobin.” Tobin tells herself.  
Christen's heart sank hearing her girlfriend tell herself that and sounding so defeated.

“Tobin, please. Don't say that. It hurts me. I love you. You know I love you.” Christen walks forward, her patience trimming slim but she's trying her best to be the better person. This has blown off big time and she doesn't know how to deflate it back.

Tobin scoffs and fixes her askew shirt and joggers to place. “It's okay Chris, I get it.” She wipes the tears off her face with her hand and breathes deep, smiling closed-lip at Christen timidly.

But Christen knows better. She knows Tobin is hurt and faking the smile. She knows this is her way of saving her pride and herself from the embarrassment of getting rejected.  
Christen wraps Tobin in her arms. Surprisingly, she's not met with resistance. However, the brunette is stiff and cold under her but Christen is determined to make her girlfriend feel better and make it up to her.

“Tobs, I'm not saying no, nor I’m saying yes.” She whispers under her ear. “Please, just give me more time to think. And you too, you should think this through. Are you sure this isn't just because we—”

Tobin pulls away again. Christen tries to draw her back but she can't compare to Tobin's strength. She's a lot stronger than the tan girl.

“I've thought this through, more than you think I did. I've had this planned out even before I left. I know I want to marry you. I know there's no one else there for me but you.” Tobin bites her lip. “I shouldn't have, I guess. Sorry to even bother.”

“Please Tobs, don't be like that.” Christen has had enough. This whole thing is making a toll on her. She feels emotionally exhausted and mentally worn out. She's tired of being the better person. Tired of understanding Tobin when Tobin won't even meet her halfway.  
“I love you Tobin but please understand me too. This isn't easy for me. Just give me time to think please. Too process what you want for us. That's all I ask.” Her voice cracks and she breaks down into a fit of silent tears.

The sight of Christen sobbing and clenching her chest somehow tugs a string in Tobin's heart. She can't bear seeing her girlfriend in so much pain that she herself caused. Tobin moves to Christen and envelops her under her arms.

“Chris, babe…shhh…It's okay, it's okay babe…” Tobin tries to calm her down.  
Christen anchors herself to Tobin. She hangs onto her like her life depends on the brunette. Tobin runs her hand up and down over Christen’s back, soothing her girlfriend from any form of pain she's going through.

Tobin doesn't know how long they have stayed standing in that position, wrapped in each other's arms, Christen hanging onto her like a frightened child. When she feels Christen starts to fidget and her own legs start to numb Tobin decides it's time they find a better position so they won't sore.

“Chris, babe…” Tobin wipes the beads of sweat off Christen's forehead and fixes her stray baby hair.

Christen groans, still buried in her chest, inhaling the scent on Tobin's shirt that is unique to her alone. Tobin kisses the top of her head before softly pushes her off and tilting her chin up. Christen's puffy eyes meet Tobin's worried brown.

Tobin leans down and plants a gentle wet kiss on Christen's lips before pulling her down to the cloth she had prepared for them at the center of the room.

Tobin settles them onto the piles of soft pillows, dragging Christen and making her rest on her chest. They lie down in silence. Neither speaking up, afraid of breaking the peace enveloping them. Tobin continues to run her hand up and down Christen's back, occasionally drawing patterns and rubbing circles to calm her down.

“Just give me time to think about it. Please, Tobin.” Christen finally breaks the lull between them. Her voice creating a vibration on Tobin's chest.  
Tobin plants a long kiss at the top of her head once more.

“Shhh…it's okay, baby. I'm sorry I was selfish. I didn't think about your feelings. I was so caught up in my own.” She lifts Christen’s chin up so they are eye to eye. “Take all the time you need. I will wait.”

Christen tears up again. “Hey, babe, what's wrong?” Tobin panics. Concern and worry evident in her eyes.

Christen shakes her head and smiles timidly. “Nothing, I'm just overwhelmed—happy that we're finally on the same page.”

Tobin brushes off the tear stains on her face. “I’m really sorry for how acted a while ago. I was being an ass.”

“Yeah, one big, stubborn ass.” This makes them both chuckle, Christen snaking her arm around Tobin's waist, drawing the brunette closer to her as if they aren't flushed enough.  
Christen starts peppering Tobin's exposed collarbone with featherlike kisses, making the girl beneath her shiver.

Tobin moans. Her hand that's caressing Christen’s back stills and claws the fabric of Christen’s dri-fit. Her other hand hooks Christen’s thigh, spreading Christen’s legs wide. She wedges her own in between Christen's and pushes deeper to make contact with Christen’s core.

Christen bites down on the brunette’s collarbone as a reaction, her hand now feeling Tobin's hot skin under her shirt.

Tobin scoops Christen’s jaw and brings her mouth to hers. The kiss is languid and technical. Tender, warm tongues sliding against each other, caressing, feeling each other up in a lazy rhythm.

Christen pushes her body up as she starts to cramp in her awkward position. Tobin repositions herself and lets Christen climb on top of her and take the lead. Tobin lifts up her leg, settling it in between Christen's. She grips on Christen's waist and guides the tan girl to slowly rub her core up and down against her thigh.

Christen throws her head back, too immersed in the sensation building in the pit of her stomach and the wild throbbing of her core. Tobin seizes the opportunity to attack her girlfriend's exposed neck. She sucks and bites on it, licking each assaulted part later to soothe the sting. She brings a hand to Christen's chest and palms her breast, feeling up  
Christen’s erect nipple against the fabric of her sports bra.

“Fuck Tobin!” Christen cries out. She has both her hands at each side of Tobin, supporting her weight and making it easier for her to rub against Tobin.

Tobin runs her hand from Christen's waist down to her core, adding more pressure and friction. She erects her finger, meeting each thrust Christen makes.

“Tobin! Shit!” Christen bends her head, looking down at Tobin. “Baby, kiss me! Kiss me, please!” She begs which Tobin grants in a swift motion, muffling the noise coming from her mouth.

Tobin pushes her fingers deeper and firmer, hitting Christen’s throbbing clit. Christen speeds up her thrusts meeting Tobin's fingers, pushing her clit to the pressure Tobin is providing until she reaches her peak and combusts on top.

Christen slumps on Tobin's chest, exhausted and spent out but in a beautiful way. Both of them panting and catching up their breaths.

“Julie is going to kill us. We just turned her session room a sex dungeon.” Christen jokes which made them both chuckle. She pushes herself up and watches her girlfriend underneath her, still heaving.

“I love you so much.” Christen whispers, bending down to place a gentle kiss on Tobin's swollen lips.

Tobin moans into the kiss.

“I love you, Christen. I'd do anything for you.” Christen leans down again, granting Tobin's awaiting mouth for another smooch.

“Anything?” Christen breaks the kiss. She's flashing a devilish smile. Her eyes playful and hooded with desire.

Tobin looks at her skeptically. “Chris, what are you thinking?”

Christen leans down, puffing her hot breath in Tobin's ear. “I have ideas that may or may not involve toys I got at home.” She seductively bites on Tobin's earlobe, sending shivers all over the brunette’s body.

 

Tobin jogs to the café a few blocks away from Christen's apartment. She wants to bring her girlfriend her favorite coffee and cronuts in bed for breakfast. Also, she's meeting Allie who has been not-so patiently waiting for her for fifteen minutes inside.

She spots her best friend on the far corner table, sipping her mug while looking something on her phone. She makes sure to get her order first and tell the barista, with whom she's already friends with, to get it ready in fifteen minutes as she's still has someone to talk to first.

She then strides to the table and nearly had Allie spill her coffee when she pokes her from behind.

“What the fuck!” The blonde yells out, attracting the attention of their fellow customers.  
Tobin looks at them apologetically before turning to her friend again.  
“You almost got me killed!” Allie accuses.

Tobin chuckles, slumping on the seat across the table. “Don't be dramatic. A hot mug of coffee won't kill a bug.”

Allie throws a ball of paper straw wrap at their. “It will!”

Tobin picks the ball of paper up and throws it back to her best friend. Allie tries to nudge the paper ball off, chuckling but her expression changes when she sees Tobin's face suddenly turning sullen.

“She said no.” Tobin spits out before her best friend can even start to flood her with questions.

Allie takes a sip of her coffee before speaking up. “I’m sorry to hear that but I told you so. She's just—”

“Harry, enough. She said she's not ready yet and I respect that.” Tobin's not meeting her friend's blue eyes. She's staring right passed Allie's shoulder.

“And are you happy with that?” Allie scoffs when Tobin fails to respond.

“Whatever makes Christen happy makes me happy. She's all that matters to me.” Tobin breaks the silence between them.

Allie takes a long sip of her coffee while staring at Tobin, her brows knitted in skepticism.  
“I love you Harry but don't ever expect my full support for whatever you're planning with Christen. Not until you—”

Tobin pushes herself off the seat. “I can't stay long. Christen’s probably up by now. See you at work, Harry.” And with that Tobin bolts out from the corner table to the café counter where her order awaits for her, not looking back at her worried best friend.

 

Christen rolls over the bed feeling the cold empty space next to her where Tobin occupied the other night. She squints her eyes adjusting to the brightness of the room. Her girlfriend is nowhere to be found but there's a small piece of paper sheet carefully placed on the soft white pillow beside her.

 

_Good morning, babe:) Just out to get us breakfast. I'll be back quick. Don't miss me much. I love you. - T_

 

Christen giggles, touched by Tobin's thoughtfulness. She stirs and grunts as she feels the awful sores covering her entire body which she probably got from last night’s activities with Tobin in her bedroom…and in the bathroom…and in the kitchen…even in the hallway.

Christen turns her head to her right. Scattered clumsily on the floor was the now empty bottle of lube, the sticky strap-on, and the pair of clamps and clips she's dying to try to herself. She turns into a shade of red remembering their wild night together. How she fucked Tobin on her fours with the strap-on, how she bottomed out in her, the moans Tobin made calling her name, how Tobin let her dominate in bed.

Christen unconsciously reaches down south until she feels up the small bundle of joy that's throbbing mercilessly, begging for attention. She shuts her eyes closed while drawing circles around her clit. Putting just enough pressure to build up the anticipation.

A firm hand suddenly covers on top of Christen’s own between her legs. She's startled and finds out it's Tobin. Her pair of golden brown eyes hooded with lust and want. The brunette scoots over the bed without pulling her hand off. They kiss hungrily, teeth clashing and tongues intertwining. Tobin grips Christen’s hand tight and starts guiding her fingers in a rhythm, putting pressure for a moment then easing it out later when she's close to the edge.

Christen arches her back, asking for more friction and speed.

“Tobs, please…” She begs for release.

Tobin acknowledging what Christen wants and maybe finally showing Christen mercy, runs her fingers through Christen’s folds until she finds her opening.

“Keep rubbing yourself.” Tobin instructs.

Christen can only nod. She can't think of any word to say. She's just driven with desire and lust. Logic has abandoned her. She continues to pleasure herself, flickering the bundle of nerves between her thighs when Tobin pounds two fingers inside her without any preamble.

“Fuck!” Christen cries out of pleasure and pain.

“Spread.” Tobin commands which Christen hastily complies.

Tobin hammers in and out of her roughly while she attends to her clit. Their eyes bore into each other's as Christen nears the peak of her orgasm.

The brunette leans forward and captures her lips, muffling her cries of pleasure. Tobin breaks their mouths and trails kisses down her chest, finding her taunt nipple. She sucks on it and tugs it hard between her teeth. It's all Christen needs to reach the edge. She explodes in Tobin's fingers, coating them with her cum.

Tobin stills her fingers inside and waits for Christen to ride out her orgasm. Christen is breathing hard, her chest rising up and down for air.

She opens her eyes and sees Tobin watching her with delight and amusement. Her hair askew from Christen's grip.

“I love you, Chris.” Tobin whispers. She pulls out her fingers from Christen's core and brings it to the tan girl's lips. Christen takes her girlfriend's fingers to her mouth, moaning while tasting her own juice.

Tobin pulls her fingers out and kisses her gently.

“I love you, too.” Christen murmurs. “But I'm starved and I feel like dying already. So where's that food you brought for breakfast?” Christen adds, smiling.

“Oh they're here.” Tobin picks up two hot coffee cups and a brown paper bag which contains cronuts next to the filthy strap-on, lube bottle, and clamps and clips on the floor.

 

An hour later, Christen finds herself under the scrutiny and burning gaze of her friends. Julie and Kelley came rampaging to her apartment the very moment Tobin left for work.

“Woah, Pressy! I still can't believe you said no! You're so smitten and…” Kelley is still stunned or pretends to be stunned. Christen can't tell. Kelley knows marriage is not part of her plans yet.

“Shut up, Kel. What I can't believe though is you two knowing first that Tobin was going to propose to me even before I did. You didn't even say a word or give a hint! What kind of friends!” She playfully slaps her friends’ shoulders and shakes her head.

“Excuse me Press but I kinda did.” Julie reminds her.

Christen rolls her eyes. “No you didn't. You just said you're gonna surprise Zack and I gave a wild guess that you're proposing.”

“It's all the same.” Julie shrugs, taking a tweezer from the box and munching it.

“How did she take it?” Kelley asks. Her tone serious without any trace of playfulness.

Christen fills them in on how things happened, only skipping a few details about the Rated 18 part.

“I knew it! We could hear you banging from three rooms away!” Julie clasps her hands in amusement. “Wait…” The blonde trails, her face contorting to distaste. “You fucking boned in my session room! What the fuck! OH MY GOD! I didn't realize but I'll never get the image of you two banging off my mind every time I'll be having my class!” Julie shivers, rubbing her arms to ease the goosebumps slowly forming in the area.

Christen laughs out loud. “That's what you get for conniving with Tobin behind my back!”

“Whatever! At least I helped your almost-fiancé surprise you.” Julie quips back.

“Chris, why didn't you say yes?” Kelley asks again earnestly.

Christen gulps. “As cliché as it sounds, I'm not yet ready in all aspects of my life.” She grabs an apple and bites on it, wanting to do something else under her friends’ prying eyes.

“I won't judge you and I'm not an expert when it comes to this but…I think there will never be a “right” time for the big moments in our life. There's always gonna be other things we want to do, places we want to see, people we meet unexpectedly, etcetera, that will get in the way. I don't know if I'm making sense right now but you should've talked about it through first instead of just banging to console and appease each other.”

Kelley's staring at her with concern and sympathy. She doesn't know where her friend got this Zen-ish side of her but she makes sense.

“I didn't really shut the door. I told her I was going to think about it and asked her time to wait.” Christen explains.

“Just be careful, Chris and think wisely. Sometimes we take for granted the things we want most in our life, thinking and searching for something else that we don't really need.” Kelley solemnly tells her friend. “Besides, in case you don't know yet, Tobin is a catch. She's hot. Damn, if you aren't with her I'd have a taste of that piece of meat.” Kelley jokes.

“Ew that's gross, Kel!” Both Julie and Christen yell before bursting into laughters.

Meanwhile, Christen’s internal struggle grows even more. She's torn. Eventually Tobin is going to ask her again and looking at things now, she doesn't think she'll have a change of mind. But she doesn't wanna hurt Tobin again.

“I just hope Tobin changes her mind and suddenly realizes she doesn't wanna get married.” Christen spits out in between laughters.

“Press! Be careful what you wish for!” Her blue eyed friend eerily warns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments! They give me insights and motivates me to write faster. Again comment down below what you think.
> 
> Also, one more thing, I'm thinking of writing a new fic. That old school Talex vs Preath kind. So it might take a little while before this fic gets updated:)


	13. Can't Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can y'all believe Tobin flew to Chicago over the weekend then Christen scored her first goal of the season? Smh anyway, here's a super short chapter but I hope it isn't so bad you'd hate me:)

Christen cautiously parks her car on the vacant space outside her apartment complex, relived that she's already home after a long tiring day. She's had three classes in the community college and a lecture in a nearby high school that left her beyond exhausted and wanting to just spend the rest of the day in bed although it's still late noon and the sun is still very much up and bright.

She scoffs noticing Tobin has parked her Jeep at the far side, somewhat hiding its presence. It's been two weeks since Tobin proposed to her and got rejected. So far since then everything between them has been great. Actually too great that it's starting to overwhelm her at some point.

Tobin has been acting a lot sweeter and thoughtful to her. She's been showering Christen with gifts and surprises that Christen thinks unnecessary and too extra because she's been doing it even on ordinary days.

In two weeks, she had bought them tickets to a 1975 concert which Christen loved but couldn't go to as it was scheduled on the same night the community college hosted an annual Gala for its professors and employees. So Tobin decided to go see the concert with Allie instead, saying Galas were not her thing and she'd rather have a night of fun music than socialize with people she didn't know.

One time Tobin even brought her to a rescue center for dogs, coaxing Christen to adopt a puppy and forgetting completely that her girlfriend's apartment does not allow pets in the building. They went home with Christen annoyed at Tobin and heartbroken at the same time because she saw all the cute dogs begging for home and a family but she couldn't get one as much as she wanted to. Meanwhile, Tobin drove in silence knowing fully well that she pissed her girlfriend off and was already thinking what to do to make up to her.

Tobin has also been planning on a trip abroad, yet still undecided though whether they should choose an island getaway in the tropics or a two-week European tour. This without consulting Christen first and assuming she's okay with everything the brunette is thinking.

Christen doesn't want to complain. She should be touched and happy instead that Tobin is making efforts for their relationships. But Christen knows better, knows the reason behind everything. She knows Tobin is only making all these extra efforts to convince her to finally accept her proposal. Christen feels like Tobin is bribing her to committing to her and doing what she wants.

Christen lazily grabs her purse and bag off the passenger's seat, thinking what it is now that Tobin's up to doing in her apartment.

An overwhelming smell of burned food welcomes Christen when she opens the door to her place. Christen follows the series of clanking of tools coming from the kitchen, walking ever slowly as not to make her presence known.

Tobin's standing by the sink, dropping the pan and tray and other stuff she used. Her back is on Christen but she can tell the brunette has had a hard time in the kitchen based on the current condition of the place. The floor is covered by white powders that Christen guessed as flours. Dirty bowls and plates and cutleries are sprawled on the kitchen island. The trash bin is left open wide, wrappers and tissue papers spilling off from its mouth.  
On the table is a plate of pancakes in pile, a bottle of her favorite maple syrup, and a bowl of sliced fruits.

Christen shakes her head and tries her best not to chuckle loud. As annoyed as she is with Tobin for doing extra stuff for her, Christen can't help but appreciate her girlfriend despite the mess she has made out of her kitchen.

She must have chuckled loud because Tobin must have heard her and spins around, almost looking startled that someone's watching her from behind.

“Hey babe!” Her favorite pair of golden brown eyes are looking at her apologetically, perhaps for being caught. Tobin recovers immediately and takes her apron off and walks towards Christen, grinning while straightening her clothes and patting away flour mixed that sticks in her shirt, hair, and cheeks.

Christen crosses her arms as if to protect herself from the brunette but Tobin only smiles even wider and wraps her in a tight bear hug.

“Oh my god Tobin! You're covered with dirt!” Christen screams, writhing underneath Tobin's strong hold.

She can feel her girlfriend chuckle in the crook of her neck before Tobin walks forward pushing her backwards until her back hits the fridge. Christen gasps when Tobin starts sucking on her skin just under her ear.

“You're not supposed to be here until…like five minutes, Chris.” Tobin whispers in her neck seductively.

Christen snakes her arms around Tobin's frame, eyes closed and mouth agape while basking the heat of Tobin's breath against her skin.

“So you can burn my apartment down to mere ashes? No way!” Christen hardly breathes out.

Tobin chuckles again, kissing her neck one more time before leaning back and looking at Christen lovingly.

“Babe, I know you find me hot but I can’t possibly burn down an entire building.” Tobin sasses, earning a pinch on her side from Christen. “Ow!” Tobin yelps.

Christen grabs the back of Tobin's neck and draws her in to a soft gentle kiss. Both moaning against each other's mouth.

A loud ping breaks them apart, signaling whatever Tobin put inside the oven is now ready and cooked.

Tobin hesitantly untangles herself from Christen who leans in for one more chaste kiss.

“What do you have this time?” She inquires following the brunette from behind.  
Tobin bends down and opens the oven, grabbing a round tray and revealing a perfectly baked ham and cheese pizza that has Christen shocked.

Tobin burns everything she cooks or bakes from omelet to fish and fries or popcorn kernels even pop tarts. So it's quite impressive that she has pulled off a pizza that looks perfectly fine and appetizing and not burnt.

Christen grabs a table mat and places it on the table. She pulls out chair and settles herself, watching Tobin grinning at her like a fool while holding the tray and carefully placing it on the mat. She grabs the pizza knife and meticulously divides the pizza into eight huge slices.

“This is carbs on carbs, Tobs.” Christen playfully whines seeing the plate of pancakes beside the pizza.

“Christen Annemarie Press! There are lots of children dying of hunger all around the world. Why are you complaining about having too much food on your table?” Tobin scolds her but the smile slowly spreading across her face betrays her. She walks to the fridge and grabs a carton of mango juice.

Christen rolls her eyes and scrunched her nose. “That is so gross.” She's pouting at the bar of butter Tobin took out along with the mango juice.

Tobin pours them a glass of the mango juice. “How do you know? You've never tried it.” She takes one pancake and puts it on her plate, glazing it afterwards with butter and drowning it in with an overwhelming amount of maple syrup.

“I don't have to. It's already disgusting enough just by the look of it.” Christen takes a slice of pizza and munches on it, moaning at how it surprisingly tastes so good. She finishes it in seconds all while Tobin's watching her intently, mouth stuffed with pancakes.

Christen takes a long swig of the glass of juice and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. She's about to take another slice when Tobin speaks up.

“Is it good?” Her voice is ruffled by the amount of pancakes she put in her mouth.  
Christen nods and bites off a large chunk.

“Good enough for me to be your fiancé? Or it's that great you'd marry me right here, right now!” Tobin chuckles, munching another slice of her sugar-filled pancakes.

Christen puts down the remaining of her slice and refills her glass with juice, chugging it all the way, bottoms up.

“Will you stop that!” Christen raises her voice higher than she would've liked which jerks Tobin up from her seat.

Tobin swallows her food and sips on her juice. She's staring at Christen confusingly, silently asking what's wrong. Christen pushes herself off and walks out to the hallway leading to her room.

“What the fuck!” Tobin bolts out from her seat and follows her girlfriend who slams the door open.

“Chris, wait! What's wrong?” Tobin chases her and grabs the back of her arm. “What did I do?”

Christen tries to pull her arm off from the brunette but Tobin is too strong for her and spins her around instead. They stare at each other in absolute silence, not one word is spoken and only their ragged breathing can be heard inside the room.

Christen gives in and closes her eyes. “Stop doing that. I'm sick of you doing that all the time! It's too much…it's like…I don't know it's choking me!” She spits out, not caring anymore if her words might hurt the girl in front of her or not.

Tobin tightens her grip around Christen's arm. “Stop what, Chris? Please, just tell me what I did wrong.” Tobin almost pleads. Her raspy voice lower than the usual and so unsure.

“Stop forcing me to marrying you. Stop doing all these stuff to bribe and coax me. How many times do I have to tell you no? I love you so much Tobin but I remain firm that I'm not ready yet. The best that you can do right now is to respect my decision but it seems impossible to you.” Christen bursts out everything she's been feeling that she's been holding back from Tobin.

Tobin loosens her grip and drops Christen’s arm. She takes a step back, providing a wider space between them. Her eyes are anchored on Christen who's eyes are everywhere except at Tobin's pair of pained golden eyes.

“That's not true. That's not what I'm trying to do, Chris… I just want you to…” She trails off, her voice cracking and shaking.

“That's what it feels like, Tobs.” Christen cuts her off accusingly.

Tobin drags her eyes off from the tan girl and throws her head up and blinks her eyes rapidly preventing the tears that's slowly forming in the corners of her eyes.

“No, I’m not. I'm doing all of these because I love you. I want you to feel how much I love you. I have no other reason than I'm so deeply in love with you. It's never…it never crossed my mind to shower you with stuff just so you'd marry me. Or in your own words, bribe you. I'm not like that. You know that. Or at least I thought you knew that about me but apparently not. I want you to feel loved and appreciated all the time because that's what girlfriends should do. When you took me back I promised to make up to you in all ways possible and that's what I've been doing since. I didn't know you feel like that.” She pauses, closing her eyes and running her finger through her hair. Beads of sad tears start to cascade down her face. “And I respect your decision. I don't question that at all. I was just kidding but I guess the idea of marrying me must be that appalling and disgusting to you that you can't even take it as a friendly joke.” 

Tobin wipes off her tears and chuckles, taking another step backwards toward the door.

“You can't blame me for thinking it's what you've been trying to do. How many times have I heard you say, “Am I good enough to be your wife?” or “Am I wife material now?” It's gotten in my nerves cause it feels like you're putting pressure on me to say yes to you. It's like a can't breathe anymore, Tobs.” Christen calmly states this time. Seeing how hurt Tobin is, she moves forward and reaches for Tobin but the brunette swerves and turns her back just before Christen can take a hold of her.

“Whatever, Chris. I've heard you enough, loud and clear.”

“Tobin, wait!” Christen follows her but Tobin isn't slowing down rather doubled her speed.  
Tobin storms out of Christen's room, out of her apartment slamming the door closed behind her not caring if she breaks it, and out of Christen's building, then drives off from her complex’s parking space.

She tries to hold it back but tears just won't stop flowing and blurring her vision. She pulls out her phone from her side pocket and dials Allie's phone, wanting to hear the voice of the only person she wants to talk to at the moment.

Meanwhile, Christen remains standing in the middle of her room, staring at her phone in her hand. Tobin's caller I.D flashes on the screen grinning at her. She's been trying to call her but each time she's redirected to the brunette's voicemail. Christen clutches her chest, feeling her lungs being deprived of air. Tears won't stop flowing and flooding her cheeks and blurring her vision. Her eyes never living her phone screen, still hoping that the girl behind the only voice she wants to hear at the moment will finally pick up and talk to her.

 

“Still nothing?” Kelley inquires, running her hand up and down over Christen’s back while they sit on the couch in the living room.

Christen Press: Tobin, please. Let's talk. Pick up the phone.

Christen Press: Can you at least tell me where you are so I know you're okay. You got me worrying.

Christen shakes her head no. She has been texting Tobin for five days now but she still hasn't gotten anything back from her girlfriend. She's goes to her place everyday since their fight but she has not seen even Tobin's shadow anywhere. She tried asking some of Tobin's coworkers, she even once went to their office but she was flagged off and told they didn't know where Tobin was. She suspects Tobin is hiding in Allie's but she's been lurking outside Allie's building with no such luck of catching Tobin.

She scoots closer to Kelley and buries her face on her friend's shoulder, muffling the sobs that she's been fighting. Kelley shushes her and tries to soothe her pain through running strokes over Christen’s back.

“I fucked up, Kel. I shouldn't have treated her like that. I was so caught up in my own feelings alone that I didn't realize I was already hurting her. I'm losing her again, Kel.” Christen regretfully says against Kelley's chest.

Kelley kisses the top of her head and scoops her face up. “Chris, she loves you and you love her. She'll come around and you'll talk. Clear this out and be happy again. It's not gonna be easy but trust me, everything will be okay again.” Kelley gives her tight lip smile and wipes her tears off. “Stop crying, you'll get uglier.”

Christen chuckles and pushes her friend off. “Shut up! I'm not ugly!”

“Yeah, you're not Pressy. But if you won't stop crying like a baby you will soon.” Kelley replies, grabbing the chocolate drink from her side and taking a sip of it.

Just as Christen is about to say something, her phone lights up and buzzes, revealing a text message she has been dying to receive all week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments, kudos, or whatever you can.


	14. No NOs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a continuation of Ch13 because I feel like it's too short.

Just as Christen is about to say something her phone lights up and buzzes, revealing a text message she's been dying to get for almost a week.

 

Tobin Heath: I'm fine. Just cooling down.

Christen hastily types out a reply, shooting it as fast as she can.

Christen Press: I'm relieved. Are you still mad? Can we talk soon?

 

Christen stares at the three dots on her screen that's letting her know that Tobin's typing something on the other end. But the three dots disappear short after and her message is left hanging read but not responded, hopefully just yet.

She types again and sends it fast, hoping it will urge Tobin to respond back.

Christen Press: I'm missing you, Tobs.

She doesn't let her eyes leave her phone. She's somewhat internally willing it to light up again and show a reply from her “missing” girlfriend. But her heart is slowly breaking apart for every second Tobin chooses to ignore her messages. 

Kelley takes a long deep breath before grabbing Christen’s phone and pushing herself up off the couch. She's gone tired and feel deeply sorry looking at her friend for almost half an hour just staring at her phone screen.

“Kelley, what the fuck! Give it back to me!” Christen yells, her eyes are wide and furious and a hint of panic can be seen in them.

Kelley only shrugs and hurries to the hallway to Christen's bedroom. Christen pushes herself up as well, following her friend and jogging the short distance to her room.

She finds her best friend rummaging her closet, tossing fabrics and clothes and everything she finds inside behind her back.

“What are you doing O’hara?” She leans to her side against the door frame, warily observing her friend.

“What's your best dress? Which one here?” Kelley asks not even looking at her. Her head is still stuck inside the closet trying to look for something pretty that Christen can wear for the night.

“What for, Kel? I'm not in the mood to entertain one of your brilliant ideas.” Christen warningly glares at the freckled girl.

Kelley pops her head out of the closet with a wide smile on her face. She's holding an all red knee-high dress that Christen remembers fits her curves perfectly well and one of Tobin's favorites. On her other hand is a dark blue dress that's equally stunning as the first one. She got it for a Gala she and Tobin attended a year ago.

“Put this on and wear some make up. We're going out and you can't say no this time. I'm going to text Julie and Alyssa and the rest of the gang.” Kelley tosses the red dress to her face and walks passed her.

Christen is about to object but Kelley beats her to it.

“No, NOs. You're going out with us tonight, Pressy. So prep up! Don't make me do it for you. Also, I'm wearing this blue! I think I look hot in this.” Kelley flashes her a smile and a wink before leaving the room to herself.

Christen can only sigh deep. At this point she's not going to win against Kelley. Besides, she's tired of mopping around, waiting for Tobin to finally talk to her. What is a little night of fun with her friends? Maybe that's what she needs.

 

Kelley has persuaded Julie, Alyssa, and Emily to joining them, reasoning Christen needs her friend's presence to help her take her mind off thinking about her problematic relationship. They reach the club already a little tipsy. Kelley has coaxed them into taking a little too much shots before leaving Christen’s apartment. 

The place is packed with sweaty alcohol-driven bodies rubbing elbows against each other and Christen guesses maybe sharing more than just that seeing how crowded the dance floor is.

The music is blaring and the air is humid and smells beer and smoke but Christen surprisingly doesn't care that much. It must be the shots after shots of tequila Kelley shoved down her throat earlier.

Kelley leads them to a VIP couch just at the dim corner that's only illuminated by a few laser lights and party ball. A tall, lean waiter brings them a round of tequila shots, yelling at the top of his lungs that it's on the house and whatever they like to order will be charge-free. Turns out the owner of the club was Kelley's patient before whom she had performed a heart surgery on. He thinks he owes Kelley for the successful operation that saved his life.

Christen chugs down her shot and bops her head to the beat of the music being played by the DJ that Christen recognizes a song by the Chainsmokers.

She can't help but laugh when Kelley starts pulling Emily and Julie off the couch and leads them to the center of the dance floor among the many sweaty bodies of strangers crowding the small space. Leaving Christen with Alyssa who's busy sucking the lime to ease the burning sensation of tequila in her mouth.

Christen's eyes land on a familiar figure of a tall blonde on the dance floor who is pushing her ass against a cute guy who sways smoothly to the rhythm of the song. Allie and Bati are grinding at each other, not caring about their surroundings and as if it's just the two of them. Both look equally wasted. Sweats glistening their foreheads, hair disheveled in a mess, puffy red faces, heavy eyes.

She looks intently in their direction to see if they have friends accompanying them. Actually, just particularly Tobin. She's hoping to see her girlfriend tonight with them but unfortunately it seems like she isn't around.

Christen scans the club still, observing each table and corner with an eagle eye. Internally praying she'll finally spot Tobin's lean frame somewhere. Her heart skips a beat when she finally sees Tobin on the far edge side of the club, effortlessly looking hot in her loose white shirt, ripped black skinny jeans, and snapback. Her toned arms stretched wide on the back of the couch, her eyes bright and crinkling as she's laughing at something a brunette, who seems familiar to Christen, is whispering in her ear.

The girl's wearing a red knee-high dress that fits her curves perfectly, just like Christen’s. Her brunette hair flowing over her broad shoulders that's accentuated with a silver necklace. Her lips are pouty and red and she looks beautiful with minimal make up on. 

She rests the side of her shoulder on Tobin's spread arm and smoothly takes the bottle of beer from Tobin's hand, taking a long swig from it, eyes meaningfully anchored on Tobin's. Meanwhile, Tobin is just staring back at her, face stretching in a huge grin. She reaches and wipes off the beer on the corner of the girl's mouth with her thumb then grabs back her beer and chugs the bottle empty.

Christen is just watching the entire interaction the whole time from the distance. The pit of her stomach is violently contracting and crunching in anger and jealousy.

“Pressy! Come on let's dance!” Kelley comes blaring in her ear.

Kelley cocks her head and warily observes her when Christen fails to respond then follows the direction to where her friend's attention is focused on.

“Oooh…Tobin…oooh who is she with--- oh shit!” Kelley covers her mouth, seeing how Tobin and the brunette seem to be enjoying flirting with each other.

Christen chugs another shot of tequila and pushes herself up from her seat, tugging Kelley's arm to the center of the dance floor.

“Let’s go, Kel! Dance with me!” She shouts back to her friend.

“Woooaaah Pressy, slowdown! We're not on a rush!” Kelley reluctantly lets Christen drag her to the sea of grinding sweaty bodies that's dancing the night away.

Christen allows the music and the alcohol drown her. Her head is starting to feel dizzy and her vision is becoming blurry and everything seems spinning around. But she would rather go through it all than bask in the imploding feeling in her chest from the sight of Tobin with another girl just a few feet away from her. She wants to forget and have fun and block everything that hurts in the moment.

She shoves down shot after shot of tequila until she has to hang onto Kelley for support or else she'll stumble on the floor. Kelley leads her back to their couch and helps her drink a glassful of water. But Christen chooses to be stubborn this time and puts the water down on the table, not finishing it, and grabs another shot of tequila instead.

“My god, Pressy, don't.” Kelley laughs and drunkly stops her but to no avail. Christen just swats her hand away so she can shove the shot down her throat.

A firm hand grips her wrist causing the tequila to spill. “What the fuck, Kel! Let me be!” She yells to the air not even looking at whose hand is forcefully holding her.

“That's enough for tonight.” A low authoritative raspy voice slices through the noise and blaring music in the club.

Christen looks up and sees Tobin's stoic expression. Her face is cold and blank, devoid of any form of emotion. A total opposite of how she looked like a while ago on the couch with the brunette she was flirting with.

Remembering the scene she had witnessed earlier, Christen pulls her wrist from Tobin's grip but tragically fails. She's too weak and drunk compared to Tobin.

“Let me fucking go!” She yells out, writhing in Tobin's hold. “Don't touch me! Go back to your bitch wherever in hell she might be!” Christen continues but Tobin only ignores her. Tobin turns to her friends instead and gives them an apologetic yet assuring look.

“Thanks Jules. I'll take care of her from here. Enjoy the rest of your night.” Tobin pulls Christen and leads her out of the club, cruising through strangers and drunk bodies.

Christen is too drunk to put on a resistance. She surrenders and just lets Tobin guides her inside an uber that drives them back to her place.

 

Tobin carefully lays down Christen on her bed, making sure the pile of pillows under her head isn't too high to cause the tan girl sore neck in the morning. Tobin goes to the closet and grabs Christen’s favorite oversized shirt and a face towel. She walks back to the side of the bed and takes off her girlfriend's heels, placing it at the foot of the bed. Tobin slowly lifts Christen’s upper body up then pulls her dress off. She swiftly puts the oversized shirt on Christen before the girl starts to shiver from the cold air in the room.

Tobin grabs the face towel and walks to the bathroom, dampening the cloth in the sink with water then hurries back inside the bedroom, scooting over Christen's side on her bed. She carefully wipes the smudged make up off her face. She can't help the smile that's slowly stretching her face seeing Christen’s natural beauty after being away from her for several days.

Christen fidgets on her spot then opens her eyes feeling the cold cloth brushing against her skin. She isn't sober yet nor she's sure if it's a smile forming on Tobin's face or she's just imagining it in her drunken state.

Tobin pushes herself up from the bed but Christen is quick to grip on her arm and pulls her in.

“Please, don't leave, Tobin. I need you.” She drunkenly whispers, tears threatening to overspill in the corners of her eyes.

“I'll be back, Chris. I'll just get you water.” Tobin kisses the top of her head and takes off to the kitchen, grabbing a cold bottle of water from the fridge and two Advil. She strides fast back to Christen's room only to find her girlfriend already fast asleep and snoring a little, looking so adorable and peaceful.

Tobin puts the water bottle and Advil down on the bedside table. She moves to the closet and pulls off her clothes as well and grabs another oversized shirt and puts it on. She scoots over Christen and spoons her from behind, kissing the top of her girlfriend's head.

“Good night, Christen.” She whispers before dosing off herself.

 

Christen wakes up to a wild pounding in her head, like someone's drilling a hole in it. She lifts up and leans back against the headboard, eyes closed while rubbing both her temples in circular motion.

The door opens and reveals Tobin in her old large shirt with a tray of fruits and orange juice in her hands.

“Does your head hurt?” She moves closer and puts the tray down on Christen's lap.  
Tobin grabs the Advil and hands it to her together with a glass of juice.

“I don't need them.” Christen stubbornly refuses the offer.

Tobin rolls her eyes. “Chris, please. I know you're suffering from headache. Take this in.” She pleads.

“Why are you here, Tobin? Aren't you supposed to be in another bed with that bitch you're flirting with in the club?” Christen spits out, her jealousy is getting the best of her.

Tobin sighs. “Don't call her that.” Her voice is low but deep and firm. She sits on the bed and softly brushes the back of her hand over Christen's arm. But she can feel the tan girl stiffens under her touch.

“Oh I'm sorry. Does it hurt you? Am I insulting your bitch? What should I call her instead huh? Her Highness? Her fucking majesty? Tobin's royal fuck?” Christen swats Tobin's hand off her.

Tobin leaves the bed and stands just beside it, putting down the Advil and glass of juice on the beside table. “She's not a bitch, Chris. She's a friend from work.”

“I don't share a bottle of beer with my coworkers or “just” a friend, Tobin. I don't fucking whisper in their ears flirtatiously. And I absolutely don't snuggle with them in the corner while eye-fucking them the whole time!” Christen spits accusations. She's boring her eyes on Tobin who drags her own pair of golden brown away from Christen’s afire green orbs.

Tobin paces the room, head thrown back up, hands gripping on her hips. “She's just drunk and I may had a couple of drinks too last night but I know we weren't fooling around.”

Christen scoffs. “Yeah right, you're just flirting. Bet you were wishing you were in a more private place so you'd have the chance to jump on each other's bones.”

Tobin has had enough of this. She can't take more of Christen’s accusations without trying to defend herself.

“Christen, please. Don't push me even further. I'm trying to be the bigger person here. Last time you accused me of forcing…no, let me correct that. You accused me of bribing you with things just to marry me even though it's absolutely far from truth. Last night at the club, I saw you wasted and almost throwing yourself at anybody near you. Good thing Kelley was there to keep you from doing stupid things. It took everything in me not to drag you out by the hair. When Julie asked me to take you home, I didn't want to. I was still mad at you. Hell, I still am right now. But I love you still and I don't want anything bad to happen to you. So I put my hurt ego aside because I care about you. So here I am now in your room despite everything you’ve said against me. But instead of starting to mend things between us, you're back at accusing me things. Do you really want this to be over? Because that's what it looks like, Chris. It's like you're sabotaging our relationship on purpose. I'm trying to understand you and be patient but you're being too much. I'm getting tired of this.”

Tobin rattles out. Her face is flooded by tears that just won't stop flowing no matter how hard she tries to hold them back.

Christen remains silent. She's stunned hearing Tobin voiced out how she feels about everything.

“No, Tobin…I...” She trails off. “I will never want this to be over. I love you.” She bows her head in shame and defeat. She doesn't know if she still has a face to show to the girl in front of her.

“Then stop doing this. Stop accusing me things. If I do something for you it's not because I'm bribing you to marrying me. If I tell you you're beautiful, it's because it's the truth. If I tell you I love you, it's because that's what I feel and I'm going to explode if I don't get to tell you that. If I shower you with fancy things just let me be. It's my way of showing you my love and it's not bad at all, Christen. It's not bad. And I definitely don't flirt with other girls, Chris. I will never.” Tobin utters softly, hurt evident in her tone. She as well sounds defeated and emotionally worn out.

When Christen doesn't respond, Tobin moves closer to the bed and sits beside her. “I'm sorry I walked out on you last time. I was just so mad and shocked that you thought of me like that. I'm sorry I disappeared for days and didn't text you back or even called. But I hope you understand I was hurt. I went home to my parents for a few days to cool down, clear my mind, have a little breather. I’m sorry I had you worried.” She scoops Christen’s jaw and brings her face up so they are looking at each other's eyes

Christen takes a deep breath before speaking. “No, Tobin. It was all my fault. I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn’t have thought of you like that. I don't know what made me. Right after you left, I realized I was so wrong. I kept texting and calling you because I wanted to talk and apologize but you only answered once and it frustrated me. I thought I was losing you again and it hurt a lot. So when I saw you last night feeling cozy with that girl I guess jealousy just took over me. I never wanted to accuse you of cheating. I'm so sorry, Tobs. Please forgive me.”

Tobin brushes off her tears with her thumb. “Chris, it's okay. It's okay. I forgive you.” She leans forward and plants a lingering kiss on Christen’s forehead. Christen hangs onto Tobin and pulls her in deeper.

Tobin shushes her and tucks her stray hair behind her ears, clearing her face from any obstruction.

“Does your head still hurts?” Tobin cautiously observes her, playfully tapping her temple.

Christen shakes her head no even though the pounding in her head isn't subsiding yet. She decided to bury her head instead in Tobin's chest, basking in Tobin's smell that's a weird yet addicting mix of detergent and citrus and revel in the heat coming off her lean body. Tobin pushes off softly and untangles their bodies despite Christen’s protest.

“Chris, you need to eat breakfast and drink lots of fluids.” Tobin reminds her.

Christen pouts before smiling and bending forward, capturing Tobin's lips to hers. “Fine, only because you look cute.” She utters in Tobin's mouth.

Tobin breaks into a wide infectious grin, leaning in for another hot kiss.

Too immersed in the sensation of Christen's mouth and tongue in hers, Tobin doesn't notice her phone restlessly buzzing across the room in the back pocket of her skinny jeans that's clumsily sprawled at the foot of the closet.

**Allie Long**

_Incoming Call…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? Leave your comment below. Also, don't hate on Tobin. It's not her fault she's madly in love:)


	15. Cozy Bonfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perry is in town and invites friends on a little get-together by the beach. Meanwhile, Christen meets someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short update.

Christen rummages the insides of her closet, tossing at her back piles of fabrics of clothing and garments she doesn't feel like wearing for the day. She sighs regretfully thinking if she had only known earlier, she would have prepared better and bought stuff the day before.

The tan girl has been stressing herself for almost an hour now. Perry, Tobin's older sister, is in town and has invited them to a little bonfire get-together with a few friends at the beach. It's not that she wants to show off. She just wants to look presentable or at least good enough for Tobin's sister’s judgment, although it won't be the first time they are meeting each other.

For over two years of dating, Tobin has introduced Christen to all members of her family. She has brought Christen home during special occasions and holidays. Tobin's family has been warm and welcoming to her. They were exhilarated to meeting Christen for the first time a few years back. It happened on Tobin's father's 55th birthday. They were just dating for only six months at that time, pretty much relatively early to finally meeting the parents but Tobin was insistent and Christen, although a bit terrified, couldn't say no to her girlfriend. She met them at the dinner party and everybody welcomed her with warm, tight hugs, all smiling wide and looking happy to finally meet Tobin's girlfriend. She could safely say that she stole the spotlight of the night from Tobin's father, who himself couldn't stop from teasing Tobin and spilling Tobin's childhood dorky memories, much to Christen's delight and entertainment.

Meeting Tobin's family was a surprise revelation for her. Christen is normally shy and reserved when meeting new people. Surprisingly, she immediately felt comfortable and fell into easy conversations with each member of the family. Perry in particular was very friendly. She would throw jokes and add up more funny stories of young Tobin that would crack up their entire table.

Since then Perry has added her to all her social media accounts, Facebook, Instagram, twitter, Snapchat, etc. They had been actively exchanging interactions through those outlets until when Tobin and her temporarily broke up a few months ago.

Christen breathes deep. Maybe it isn't really how she'll look that she's worried about. Maybe the reason why she's been feeling a little antsy is just the fact that she's meeting Perry again today. A member of Tobin's family. She has not spoken, texted, seen, commented or had any form of communication with any of them since the break up and since her and Tobin got back together a little over two months now. This will be the first time and she isn't sure if Perry or Tobin's entire family in general still likes her or if this time, they will be hostile, or cold and distant like Allie is to her, or friendly just like before.

Too deep in her own thoughts, she doesn't notice Tobin walking in the room. The brunette swiftly moves at her back and wraps her arms around the tan girl and kisses the length of her neck. Christen jerks up and tenses for a moment, surprised by the sudden contact. She relaxes and melts in Tobin's arms later realizing it's only Tobin and not some creepy stranger trespassing in her place.

“I'm sorry, I frightened you.” Tobin apologizes in her hoarse voice. Her breath is warm and comforting against Christen’s skin.

Christen turns around to meet Tobin eyes to eye. Her pair of gold is bright and round and full of joy. Christen leans forward and plants a soft kiss on Tobin's lips.

“Yeah, you creep.” Christen smiles in the kiss, their lips still slightly connected.

Tobin is smiling back at her, her arms holding Christen impossibly close to her.

“How did your call with Allie go?” She asks after a minute of more gentle kisses and neck nipping.

Tobin leans back and just shrugs. “Well, she's freaking out. Typical Allie. Don't mind her.” She bends forward to capture another kiss but Christen’s hands stop her by the chest.

“What do you mean she's freaking out? About what? Is it about us?” Her heart wrenches thinking how until now her girlfriend's best friend still doesn't approve of her. She has not done anything majorly wrong for Allie to be this skeptical about her.

Tobin smiles wider and scoops her jaw. Her thumb softly rubs Christen’s chin, to soothe the pout on her girlfriend's face.

“No, it's not. It's work stuff.” Tobin looks at her reassuringly. “Trust me, babe. It's nothing.” Tobin continues but Christen isn't convinced.

Sensing Christen’s doubt and how she tenses under Tobin's hold, Tobin breathes deep and relents to speaking the truth.

“Fine, I'll tell you what's really up but promise for your dear life, you won't freak out or hate me.” Tobin rambles out.

Christen furrows her brows and glares at Tobin. “Hate you? Why?”

“I don't know if you still remember but Allie and I have been planning since last year to put up our own studio. The only problem is that we don't have enough finances, and maybe connections too, to start. Well, Allie may have landed us someo business entrepreneur who is crazy enough to invest and gamble his money for us. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier about the plan. I never thought it had a shot. It was just a dream, you know. I wanted to hold it off from you until everything's settled and sure and—”

“Shhh…Tobin, relax. Slow down.” Christen shushes her rambling girlfriend. “So basically you're saying you and Allie have now your own company? Tobin that has always been your dream! Why would you think I'd hate you? I'm so happy for you!” She exclaims in excitement and joy, encapsulating Tobin in a tight hug.

“I don't know, because I didn't tell you about it? And we don't have the studio yet, Chris. We're still about to meet with our prospect partner and talk. It's not final yet. Who knows it might not pro—”

Christen cuts off Tobin with a reassuring searing kiss on the mouth. Tobin returns the favor and tries to match Christen’s hot mouth in hers but the kiss suddenly breaks off, to her dismay.

“I hate when you doubt yourself. You're talented. You're not just good. You're one of the bests in your field. You and Allie are gonna get that dream studio. You're gonna charm your way to that businessman to back you up, like you always do to everybody. Nobody can resist that goofy face. I have so much faith in you, Tobs.” Christen rattles out in heavy breaths.

Tobin leans forward and rests her forehead on Christen's. Her eyes are closed but she's grinning from ear to ear.

“Thank you, babe. You don't know how much I needed to hear that.” She tilts her head and plants a lingering kiss on Christen's now swollen lips. “But I must warn you, though.” She breaks the kiss and pouts at Christen.

Christen can only cock her head to the side and eyes the brunette suspiciously.

“Warn about what?”

Tobin untangles herself from the tan girl and steps back, scratching the back of her head. “I’d be really busy from all of these. I'd be running and attending to things here and there. There will be lots of travels and meetings. I might not spend as much time with you as you'd like. Would it be okay? You can tell me anything, Chris. I can drop this off in a snap if you aren't okay with that. The last thing I want is to compromise our relationship. It's more important to me than anything else.” Tobin's looking at her sincerely yet she sounds so small and fragile.

Christen walks to her and closes the distance between them, snaking her arms around Tobin's torso.

“It's fine. This is your dream. You have my full support on this, babe. If you can't make time for me, I'll make sure to make time for you. I'll be there by your side along the way. I'll be patient, I promise.” She trails. “Besides, I can't tell you to drop this opportunity off. First, because I love you and I'll be the happiest if you make your dreams come true. Second, I don't want Allie to hunt and kill me. It's already bad enough that she despises me right now.” She chuckles at her own joke.

Tobin scoops her face and eyes her seriously.

“She doesn't hate you, Chris. It's just Allie being Allie to every person around me that is not Allie. It's not her fault she's being protective to her first born child.” They both laugh at how true and hilarious Tobin's words are.

 

They drive to the beach an hour later. Christen has found an ankle-high flowy white beach dress at the bottom of her closet. She pairs it with a simple white beach sandals and black Ray Bans. She internally giggles imagining how would Tobin react once she sees her later at the beach in her two-piece orange bikini that fits her curves in all the right ways.

Tobin, being her cool, confident self, is wearing a white tank top, a pair of blue surfing shorts, flip flops, blue sunglasses, and a SnapBack. It's so simple yet she looks so good and hot in it that Christen couldn't stop running her hand up and down Tobin's arm to feel her warmth while she drives them to the beach.

They walk hand in hand towards the small bunch of people at the far right corner of the beach. She sees Allie and Bati talking animatedly to a brunette whose back is on Christen and Tobin. Meghan and Lindsay, Tobin's workmates are also present.

“Oh my god!!! Christeeeen!!!” Perry comes running towards them, smiling and, if Christen can guess correctly, already a little tipsy.

Perry pulls Christen in to a tight hug, not even letting the tan girl greet her back or say something in return.

“I'm so happy you're here!” Perry doesn't let go of her until Tobin has to pull them apart.

“Per, you're choking my girlfriend. You'll gonna get her killed. I just got her back!” Tobin jokingly says.

Perry playfully shoves Tobin off then brings her sister into a tight hug as well.

“Hi there, Toby. You look way better than the last time I saw you.” Perry winks at Christen. “Thank you for taking her back, Chris. I know it's tough putting up with someone like this one here. Mom and dad and I, we're so glad you're back together. You have no idea how lost Tobin was when you broke up. If she wasn't my sister, I could have mistaken her as a homeless beggar with no—” Tobin pushes her sister off, cutting whatever embarrassing thing she has to say further to Christen.

“Perry, shut up! Stop making up things. You know that's not true! Take it back! I wasn't like that at all!” Tobin tries to defend herself.

But Perry only shrugs and laughs her off, tugging Christen’s hand and leading her down to the beach. “Yeah right, Toby. Try to convince yourself!” She yells out to a scowling Tobin who's following behind them.

Christen can only shake her head and stretch her cheeks to a grin. She can't deny she has missed being around Perry especially when she teases Tobin relentlessly. She's relieved that Perry treats her still the same, maybe even warmer and playful now that alcohol is envolved. All of her fears and self-doubt a while ago disappear, feeling Perry's tight grip on her hand. 

“Hey, Per. It's not just Tobin. You should've seen me too when we broke up. I, as well, looked close to decomposing.”

Perry laughs even louder. “Wow, that bad, huh?”

Christen nods. “Yeah, that bad.”

 

The bonfire becomes livelier and cozier as the day nears sunset. The music becomes louder as well and everybody turns from a little tipsy to drunk. In Christen's case she’s only had a few bottles of Coors Light. Though her cheeks are slowly numbing and everything she hears seem funny or interesting she's still far from her limits.

She's in the middle of a chitchat with Meghan when Allie approaches her. She's holding a bottle of red Smirnoff, her other hand towing a brunette behind her.

“Hey, Christen!” Allie drunkenly greets. She drops her hand from the brunette's and brings Christen into a hug which has taken Christen aback but she hugs Allie tight as well anyway, not wanting to be rude.

“Hi, Al!” Christen pulls back and smiles warmly at the blonde. “You look awesome!” She looks up and down Allie's toned and glistening body.

“You're not bad yourself too, Press.” Allie grabs her hand and gestures for her to twist around. Christen does as she's told, proud to display her orange two-piece bikini that shows off her round ass, flat abs, and mounting breasts. It's a little breezy at the beach but the bonfire and the alcohol and merry conversations with friends are keeping them warm under the setting sun.

“Damn, Tobin is such a one lucky gal.” An unfamiliar voice butts in. Christen shifts to her side and sees a brunette smiling at her. “No wonder Tobin—”

“Oh I'm sorry, Lex! I'm being rude. Christen, this is Alex. She and I and Tobin work together. Alex, meet Christen, Tobin's girlfriend.” Allie cuts the brunette off.

Alex smiles bigger and reaches a hand to Christen which Christen takes and shakes in pure display of politeness. Alex looks even prettier in close distance. Her eyes are a pair of sloppy deep blue, indicating she's already had a few drinks. Her eyelashes are long and curvy, her lips pinkish and pouty. She's wearing a red two-piece that perfectly fits her curves and pushes up her breasts.

Christen remembers her now. This isn't the first time she's had a close encounter with Alex. She remembers bumping into her along the hallway of Tobin's apartment floor. The only thing that has changed on her was her blonde hair. But everything else was just the same.

“Yeah, I figured. I've heard so much about you, Christen.” Alex’s raspy voice brings her back to the present.

Christen can't say the same though. She has met a bunch of Tobin's friends and coworkers but she has not heard Tobin say anything about Alex nor even mention her.

“I hope all good though.” Christen kids which earn a small laugh from the brunette.

“Of course, of course.” Alex draws back her hand, breaking their handshake.

“Ladies, do you mind if I borrow my girlfriend for a while? I just have umm something to show her.” Bati suddenly appears out of nowhere and now holding Allie by the arm.

Christen and Alex wave them off, much to Bati’s delight who's smiling foolishly and hastily tugging the blonde. Alex grabs Allie's bottle first before they can run away further. Allie waves them bye and promises the two she'll get back to them in no time.

Meghan hastily excuses herself, saying she has forgotten something in the trunk of her car, leaving Christen and Alex alone by themselves.

Alex takes a long swig of her beer and wipes off the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand before she speaks again. “So Christen how are things going with Tobin?”

Christen chugs her own beer. She wants to think thoroughly before speaking up. Even though Alex seems to be Tobin's friend, Christen doesn't want to overshare as they have just been formally introduced to each other literally just a few moments ago. “Eeh... everything's fine now.”

Alex chugs from her half-empty bottle of beer. She eyes Christen curiously. “Why, were you having troubles lately?" 

“Nah, just a small misunderstanding. That's all. You know how relationships are hard and complicated sometimes.” Christen nonchalantly replies.

Alex snorts. “Yeah, you tell me about it. I'm single right now but can you tell I'm fresh from a divorce?” She drops her bottle by her feet and drinks from Allie's Smirnoff, almost emptying it down. “It was a crazy marriage anyway. We were in—”

Christen doesn't hear the remainder of Alex's rant or gets time to react over what Alex has just shared. It doesn't even register in her mind. All she knows is she's being pulled from behind by a firm hand and forcefully turned around. She's met with Tobin's searing kiss and persistent hot mouth. She kisses back intently the same. Their tongues dance and fought in a rhythm only the two of them know. Christen tangles her fingers through Tobin's hair and pulls her even more, making the kiss deeper and more needy. Both abandoning and forgetting Alex behind them.

They both pull back a minute or two later to breathe in some air. Both heaving after an aggressive make out.

“Sorry about that. I've just missed you.” Tobin utters against her mouth. She smells a mix of tequila and beer and vodka and a little lime. Her eyes are red and sloppy and her cheeks flush.

Christen smiles and gives her a chaste kiss. “No, I love it when you kiss me hard.” She's toying with the collar of Tobin's top.

Tobin bites her bottom lip. “C’mere swim with me.” She intertwines her hand with Christen's and leads her to the far most side of the beach. They aren't that far from the bonfire but it's an enough distance for some privacy, away from the eyes of their friends.

Tobin halts them when the waters reach just above their chests. The sun has not yet fully set and the sea is still a bit warm from the afternoon heat.

Christen circles her arms around Tobin's neck and wraps her thighs around her waist. Tobin holds her by her side, keeping her in place. She leans in and starts to nip at the skin below Christen’s jawline.

“Hmmm...I think Alex is nice.” Christen hums while enjoying the feeling of Tobin's mouth on her tan skin.

Tobin continues to suck and leave trails of hot kisses along the length of her neck.

Christen gasps over the sensation of Tobin's tongue skillfully soothing the spot she has just assaulted and sucked on.

“She looks cool and really pretty. How come you never introduced us to each other bef—ow!!!” Christen cries out when Tobin bites her a little too hard. She softly pushes Tobin’s shoulder off. “What was that for?”

“I'm sorry, babe. But I didn't lead you here just so we can talk about Alex.” She smiles meaningfully at her girlfriend. Her eyes are hooded with desire and her skin is turning hot against Christen's. “We're here cause I wanna fuck. That bikini looks good on you. It makes things to me.” She plays with the strap of Christen's bikini top.

Christen cocks her head and pulls a little rougher on Tobin's hair. “Yeah? What does it do to you?” She grinds her core against Tobin rhythmically which earns a guttural moan from the brunette.

Tobin's eyes are shut close. She's basking in the feeling of her girlfriend grinding against her. When the minimal friction Christen is providing becomes insufficient and only making her impatient and frustrated, Tobin lifts her off of her and puts her down. She grips on Christen's hand and guides it under the hem of her surfing shorts down to her warm throbbing core.

“That's what you do to me, babe.” She rasps out. Her breathing turns ragged and her voice trembling as she bites on Christen's earlobe.

Christen pulls her in for a hot, aggressive kiss. Their tongues fight for dominance, their moans loud and guttural and not for a bit hiding their arousal. Christen strokes Tobin's folds expertly. She fixes two fingers firmly and enters Tobin's opening in one swift, rough motion.

“Oh my god!” Tobin mumbles against the crook of Christen’s neck. “Go on, don't stop.” She pleads which Christen religiously complies to.

She continues to pump in and out of the brunette, shifting from rough to slow then fast, making ripples of waves around them. Tobin holds tighter to her, even digging her short nails in Christen's back. The feeling of saltwater, the slight sting it creates in Tobin's core mixed with the sensation of Christen’s fingers inside her is pushing Tobin closer soon to becoming undone, which quite faster than normal.

“I’m close, babe. I'm close.” Christen draws her in for another kiss. She's muffling Tobin's cries of pleasure into her mouth.

She twists her hand in an angle to make a leverage for her thumb. She rubs Tobin's impossibly throbbing clit while still pumping in and out of her. Their position is a little uncomfortable and her wrist is close to getting a spasm. But Christen is determined to bring Tobin to orgasm.

“Yeah, baby. Let go. Come for me.” She doubles her speed and thumbs Tobin's clit more mercilessly.

“Chris, fuck!” Tobin throws her head back and cries out. Her walls contract and tighten around Christen's fingers. She moans out more explicit and inaudible words in the air, not caring anymore if they can be heard by the others who are dancing and gathering around the bonfire.

Christen lets Tobin ride out her orgasm for a few more moments before pulling her fingers out of her.

“Shit, that was so good, baby.” Tobin manages to speak once she's recovered from her intense orgasm. She plants a lingering kiss on Christen and mumbles in her mouth, “God, how am I going to top that?”

Christen bites the brunette's bottom lip and smiles. “Oh I'm sure you can think of many ways in return. For now, I just want us to get the hell out of the waters. It's getting cold now.”

She gives Tobin one more wet kiss. “And I want a piggyback.” She chuckles and moves behind Tobin who bends down so she can hop onto her back.

“Piggyback after sex.” Tobin shakes her head. “Only you, Ms. Press. Only you.” She's grinning ear to ear, legs wobbly, as she slowly and carefully makes their way back to their friends.

“Wow! Quite a show we had there!” Alex yells out at them, seeing Tobin and Christen approaching, which earns laughs and a lot of catcalling from their friends.

Christen buries her head down in the crook of Tobin's neck out of utmost embarrassment from getting caught.

"Ughh I hate Alex." She jokingly snorts against Tobin's skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments down below. I like to know what you think it helps me on my writing.


	16. How's the Shower?

Christen jogs the short distance to her favorite café situated just a few blocks away from her apartment building. She sighs in relief seeing how quiet and peaceful the roads are. There are only a few cars passing by and people walking the wide sidewalks.

She doesn't have a yoga class today and all her classes in the community college are all starting in the afternoon, so she opted for the mean time to get a much deserved coffee run and pastries, a little something to sweeten the start of her day.

She timidly smiles and shivers a little, feeling the cold breeze blow against her skin and the morning sunlight hitting her face. It's another day, another morning she's spending alone.

True to her warning, Tobin has been impossibly busy the past few weeks since she and Allie had their first meeting with their prospect investor. The two best friends have been juggling their time between their current work in the sports magazine and putting up their own studio and photography company.

Christen has only seen Tobin a few times all throughout the month and each time they do, it's either they spend their time both passed out drooling on the couch or bed or they are busy doing work. Often times Tobin is on her laptop editing photos and reviewing papers and contracts. It has been quite a while since the last time they have gone out to dinners or even just for a quick snack in a diner.

It doesn't help as well that Christen has landed another job as if she isn't already busy enough. She has been chosen to be one of the head researchers in a joint study that the community college and a well-known university are planning to conduct. She has been spending more time in her office or if not, she buries herself in a pile of books in her study room.

It's going to be a big, fat, white lie if Christen denies she doesn't miss Tobin surprising her with little stuff out of the blue. When she brings her coffee in the middle of her class in the community college, when she brings them breakfast in bed from their favorite café, when she cooks half-burnt pasta or raw pizza or just a simple gesture of surprising her with bouquet of summer daisies. It used to annoy her before but now she's strangely missing Tobin's little efforts.

Christen knows though that she cannot complain because she has agreed to this. Tobin has fairly warned her even before this has started and she accepted it wholeheartedly. She also knows that if there is anything Tobin needs at the moment, it isn't her complaining about them not spending time together. She knows as a girlfriend she has to show support and stay by Tobin's side specially now. She has to prolong her understanding more and be mature over this.

What Christen doesn't want to admit though is that she feels truly guilty over this deep inside. She has promised Tobin that she would make sure she would find time for them whenever Tobin couldn't. She feels like she has failed and disappointed Tobin because she hasn't done anything to fulfill that promise. Instead she lets life and work take over her, too. She's internally scolding herself. She could have declined the new research offer but for some selfish reasons, she didn't. 

She starts sprinting the remaining thirty meters distance to the café, shaking off the ugly thoughts that are slowly looming in her head. She stops in front of the glass front door and notices a close sign hanging on it.

“Oh great!” Christen sarcastically spits out, slowly feeling the day turning unpleasant and repulsive.

She resumes her run and takes a quick turn to the left corner where she can choose from a bunch of different cafes she has never tried before. The amount and variety of cafes are overwhelming. There are posh European-inspired themes mostly French and English but Christen opts for the small and serene Japanese tea house on the far right side, thinking it won't be bad if she switches to tea instead of coffee this morning. A little change won't hurt.

She takes out her phone from her back pocket and checks for texts and some emails. She smiles and giggles a bit. Tobin has flooded her lock screen with a couple of messages but her face immediately contorts into a frown realizing the texts were sent a few minutes ago.

“Shit!” She blurts out, annoyed at herself that she has kept Tobin waiting for her respond for too long. She taps open the thread of conversation, reading each message intently.

 **Tobin Heath:** Good morning to my favorite and prettiest teacher in the planet :)

 **Tobin Heath:** Are you busy today?

 **Tobin Heath:** Chris? Are you still asleep?

 **Tobin Heath:** Babe…I miss you so much:( 

**Tobin Heath:** I miss your voice…can I call you?

 **Tobin Heath:** Babe, I'm dyiiiing

It pulls a string in her heart. Christen is usually the clingy one between them. Always wants to hear reassuring words. Always wants to say and hear I love you every now and then. Always wants to touch and to be touched. Tobin, being herself, is the chill, cool type. So it makes Christen’s chest warm and pound faster seeing her girlfriend become more vocal about her feelings and knowing that Tobin is missing her as much as she misses the brunette.

She's about to finish typing her reply when something hard hit her by the shoulder.

“Ow!” Christen cries out. The impact of the hit makes her drop her phone on the ground. A couple of printed white bond paper and brown folders scatter, too.

“Oh god! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…I wasn't looking. I'm really sorry.” A husky male voice pleadingly apologizes to her.

The guy bends down and picks up her phone. He checks the screen first for damages then hands it to Christen.

Christen is still rubbing her shoulder to ease out the slight pain from the hit, not even looking at the man in front of her.

“I'm really sorry. I'll pay if it got damages…or I can buy you a new one or whatever you like.” The guy continues to apologize while bending down again to gather his stuff as well from the ground.

Christen checks her phone for possible cracks. She takes a deep sigh, relieved that it's still working perfectly fine. She can't avail to have her phone broken right now. It has too many important files in it. Besides, she doesn't have the time to go get a new one.

“Um, no it's okay.” Christen lifts her head up and faces the guy, who's now standing straight as well, for the first time. “It's worki—” She stops mid-sentence when she has acknowledged the person she's talking to. “Nima?!” She blurts out, disbelief evident in her face.

“Christen!” The guy looks equally shocked. A pair of stunned round hazel eyes staring at her.

He gestures to wrap her in a hug but the pile of folders and bond paper get in his way. Christen shakes her head and hugs the guy herself instead.

“Oh my god! It's been a while! How are you?!” Christen steps back and grins ear-to-ear at him.

“A while? I haven't seen you since our sophomore year in college!” Nima laughs out loud, somewhat reminiscing the good old days.

Christen rolls her eyes. “That's because you transferred to NYU, mister!”

Nima widens his eyes, pretending to be shocked and gives Christen a wide smile later that shows off his perfect white teeth. “You know I didn't have any other choice.” He looks at her apologetically. His smile fading out but he still looks adorably cute.

“Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.” Christen nods. She's mentally scolding herself for bringing it up. Maybe Nima doesn't want to talk or remember that one particular moment in his life.

Nima had to transfer to NYU on their second year in college so it would be easier for him to visit his mother frequently in New Jersey who was battling cancer. He didn't wanna leave Stanford and his friends behind but his mom needed him the most and being physically by her side while she's fighting for her life was the least thing Nima could do to help.

They were able to keep in touch, texting, sending emails and even video calling through FaceTime but a couple of months later both of them got busy with school and eventually lost track of each other.

After a moment of silence engulfs them, Nima speaks up again sensing the uneasiness in the air. This time he has gained back his cheery tone. “Hey, do you wanna continue this over a cup of tea? As much as I insanely look good standing by the sidewalk, these stuff are starting to bug me.” He lifts the folders and bond papers a bit so Christen takes pity on him.

Christen smiles and shakes her head. Some things never change. He's still the confident, cocky Nima she knows a couple years back. She takes a few steps back and opens the door of the Japanese tea house. “Okay, I'll take that offer under one condition though.”

Nima eyes her suspiciously. “You know I can't help you if you killed somebody. It's not my forte.” He jokes which earns a slight slap from Christen on his shoulder.

Christen rolls her eyes for the second time. “No, you idiot! It's your treat!”

“That's the condition? Fine, anything for you, Miss Press.” Nima winks at her and walks inside, a smiling Christen following next just behind him. Tobin's text messages totally left unanswered and forgotten.

 

They talk enthusiastically and catch up with each other's current life over a pot of fresh brewed authentic Asian tea that Nima swears is the best tea he has ever tried in his life. And true to his words, Christen agrees. It's so smooth and calming. It smells itself is already therapeutic and relaxing.

“So that's it. I'm single now and moved here for a university research I was offered.” Nima sets down his cup of tea and smiles at her brightly.

Christen nods and takes a sip of her tea, inhaling the soothing scent coming from her cup. “Interesting, I'll be working on a research, too.”

“Really?” Nima jerks up enthusiastically. “What university are you working for?” He forks a chunk of their shared Japanese cotton cheesecake and munches on it.

“I'm not really working in any university right now. I'm teaching in the community college which has a joint research study with a university.” She explains. She takes a chunk of the cotton cheesecake as well and thinks she just reached heavens when she finally takes a bite of it. It's simply the best pastry she's had in a while. She takes a mental note to bring a whole box of cheesecake for Tobin. She can't miss this one.

Christen drops her jaw and panics. She has totally forgotten to text back to Tobin.

“Is anything wrong?” Nima inquires when he noticed the sudden change in Christen's demeanor.

“Yeah, no. I don't know. I forgot to text back to my girlfriend. She's been waiting to hear from me since this morning.” She grabs her phone from the table and checks the screen.

Christen cringes and grips her phone firmly. Tobin has sent her two more messages that were delivered twenty minutes ago.

 **Tobin Heath:** Chris?

 **Tobin Heath:** Babe, did I do something wrong?

“Girlfriend?” Nima asks coyly, pulling her out from her trance and bringing her back at the present.

She looks up to Nima whose prying hazel eyes are anchored on her own pair of green orbs. He's raising his eyebrows up and down alternately, somehow urging Christen to fill him more with details.

Christen absentmindedly nods and bows her gaze down to her phone. She's internally debating what excuse to tell Tobin for not replying sooner.

“Yeah, her name is Tobin. Umm…we've been dating for over two years now.” She types out on her phone quickly and sends it to Tobin.

**Christen Press:** I'm sorry babe. I went out for a quick run and forgot to bring my phone. But I'm home now. Let me just take a quick shower and we can Facetime and talk later :) 

**Christen Press:** I miss you, too, and I love you. 

She doesn't want to lie. She hates it when she does. She hates it more when she lies to Tobin but Christen knows it's the easiest way out. If she tells Tobin the truth that she has forgotten to text back just because she had lost track catching up with an old friend over a pot of tea meanwhile Tobin was dead worried thinking something has gone wrong, she knows her girlfriend wouldn't let it pass. And the last thing Christen wants right now is to fight with Tobin. Not when they barely spend quality time together anymore. So she'd rather lie and swallow her guilt in the bottom of her stomach and eat her alive from the inside than face Tobin's wrath.

“Tobin? That's an odd name.” Nima scoffs.

Christen smiles and puts down her phone. “Trust me, it's not the only odd thing about her. But she's pretty awesome. She's amazing in fact.” She sips her cup empty and sets it down on the table next to her phone.

Her phone screen hasn't light up yet, meaning Tobin hasn't texted her back.

“So two years, huh. I'm guessing it's pretty serious.” Nima takes another bite of the cotton cheesecake.

“Yeah, we're pretty much serious.” She looks down again to her phone. Still no reply from Tobin.

Nima, sensing she's in a hurry, has gestured for the waitress for their bill.

“I'm sorry, Nims. I know we haven't talked for the longest time but I really have to cut this reunion short and go now.” She looks at him apologetically. “I gotta make a call to my girlfriend.” She explains further.

Nima reaches for her hand on the table and squeezes it firmly. His hand is big and calloused but it's warm and gentle around hers. Christen is guessing it might be from his obsession over rock climbing.

“Don't be sorry. I should be thankful instead. I wasn't expecting company this morning. Specially bumping into an old friend.” He pulls his hand back and takes out his phone from his pocket.

“Here, let me have your number so we can continue this some other time. I wanna hear more about this Tobin. Is that okay?” Nima is looking at her with expectant hopeful puppy eyes.

Christen smiles wide and grabs his phone. “Stop that. You know I can never say no to you.” She quickly types her number and saves it on his contacts. “There…the honor is yours and you're welcome. And yeah, I want you to meet her soon. You'll love her. Maybe we can set up a dinner or something…I guess Kelley can join, too.”

“Kelley? Kelley as in Kelley O’Hara? She's in town, too? Woah!” Nima blurts out, a blush creeping in his face.

Christen smirks, knowing fully well what Kelley does to her poor friend. “Easy there lover boy. And yes, Kelley as in the Kelley O’Hara you've had a big crush on since our freshmen year. She's working as a doctor in a community hospital.” She stares at Nima meaningfully.

The waitress walks to their table and hands their bill, breaking their conversation. Nima gives his card out, smiling unnecessarily big at the waitress. The girl takes his card and walks back to the counter but not without winking at Nima first.

Christen shakes her head in disbelief. “Hey, remember when we used to pretend a couple back in college so we could get the freebies only couples get in a nearby coffee shop?”

Nima laughs out loud. “You don't need to remind me about our schemes before. It's embarrassing. I stooped so low.” Nima kids.

Christen scowls at him. “Stooped low? It was fun and it was your idea.” She reminds him further.

The waitress comes back with Nima’s card. “Thank you for coming and I hope to seeing you again next time.” She smiles widely at them but mostly to Nima.

An idea pops in Christen's mind. She gulps and clears her throat before speaking up. Her face stoic as ever. “Yeah, I love your tea and your cheesecake is perfect and I would love for us to try it again. But it would be great if you could just tone down flirting with my boyfriend. At least while I'm here in front of you watching everything unfold before my eyes.”

Christen pushes herself up and grabs Nima’s hand who was equally taken aback as the stunned waitress who hasn't moved from her spot. Nima clumsily tucks his stuff with him under his toned arms. They stride out of the tea house hand in hand before Christen releases her grip and laughs insanely loud by the sidewalk.

Nima is looking at her incredulously. “Christen, what the fuck was that?” A smile slowly spreading across his face as he's shaking his head in disbelief.

Christen's fit of laughter has not died down. She bends down and grasps her stomach to calm herself. “Oh my god! That felt good! Did you see her face? She looks like somebody has poured drinks all over her!”

“Yeah she was horrified. You're mean, Miss Press.” Nima is grinning ear-to-ear recalling the look on the waitress' face. “And you've just sabotaged what could have been a possible thing between me and her. Who knows she's the one for me.” Nima pretends to be appalled.

Christen gathers herself and regains her posture. “What no! Remember I'll set you up on a dinner with Kelley!” She points to her friend's face.

Nima playfully swats her finger away. “Yeah, with you and your girlfriend chaperoning. Totally a date.”

She just shrugs. “It's still a dinner date with your one big crush. Take it or leave it.” She's holding him hostage in a staring battle.

Nima is the first one to break. “Fine. I'll take it. Only because I wanna catch up more…and I'm intrigued with this Tobin. Totally not because of Kelley.” Nima tries to play it cool but Christen doesn't buy it.

“Yeah, whatever you say. Whatever helps you sleep tonight." She's about to say her goodbye when Nima cuts her off.

“Hey, so where you heading to? I can drive and drop you off. My car is just parked over there.” He points out to the black SUV across the street.

Christen shakes her head. “It's okay, my apartment is just a few blocks away. I can jog back there.”

“Come on, Chris. I know you're in a hurry and I won't really mind. I mean you already bothered my morning tea session so what is driving you home and bothering me even more? And how dare you Miss Press to say no to my imperative driving skills?” He jokes. 

She tries to hold back a smile but miserably fails. “Okay, let's go! Hurry up before I change my mind and sprint away from you instead.” Christen gives in to her friend, who's proudly and triumphantly grinning from ear-to-ear showcasing his impossibly perfect white tea.

"God, are you really this bossy? I pity your girlfriend. Poor gal." He quips back, Christen slaps his shoulder once again.

"Ouch! That's low blow even from you, Nims." She fakely takes offense and pouts. Nima just chuckles at her.

Nima leads her to his car, opening the passenger's seat like a true gentleman. Christen climbs in and checks her phone again before Nima finds the driver's seat and turns on the engine. Tobin hasn't texted her back. “Maybe she's stuck in a meeting.” She internally tells herself.

They drive the short distance, just a couple blocks. She uses this short of time telling Nima things about Kelley that he's surely interested to know, about her work, her hobbies, her favorite restaurants, food, and how her doctor friend remains single. She skips the details about Emily of course. She knows Kelley and Emily are hooking up but they aren't official yet. Well possibly never will because Emily refuses to. And Christen thinks Kelley deserves more, deserves better.

When they reach the street outside Christens’s apartment building, Christen thanks him and promises they will catch up more next time. She scoots over and leans forward to the console, giving her friend a warm tight hug and maybe a little longer than necessary. She doesn't realize she has missed him more than she's ever thought. She climbs out of the SUV and waves Nima goodbye.

Christen has her face stretched in a wide grin as she enters the apartment complex. It feels great to be reunited with old friends. To be able to talk about their life back in college. To have someone to laugh with while reminiscing embarrassing and fun memories in their younger days. To see how different yet still the same they are after all these years.

She's too immersed and overwhelmed with joy that she doesn't notice the parked black Jeep at the side.

“So how's the shower, huh?” Christen is startled when she hears the familiar hoarse voice somewhere nearby, breaking her reverie. There's a bite in her tone which only means one thing.

Tobin is leaning back against her Jeep. She has her hands crossed over her chest. Her jaw is clenched, making it more prominent and defined than it already is. Her eyes fierce and round and golden, boring into Christen's soul.

 _Fuck!_ Christen internally curses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the cliffhanger. Did it on purpose lol and thank yall for reading and leaving comments, kudos, messages. It help me update faster. Hope you enjoyed this one. Thanks!


	17. You Always Come First

Christen is literally a deer caught in headlights. Her pair of green eyes are wide in shock and panic. Her mouth agape. She swallows hard later in her attempt to soothe the uneasy dryness in her throat that she suspects hinders her from saying anything back.

She curls her fingers into a ball of fist. She isn't familiar with these kinds of situations. She isn't used to lying and then getting caught red handed. She tries to step closer to Tobin but her leg muscles refuse to cooperate and she remains immobile.

Tobin cocks her head to the side and doesn't break eye contact. She runs a hand through her brown shiny hair that flows perfectly over her shoulders.

“Are you going to say something or what?” Her tone is cold and distant, and if Christen doesn't know any better about the brunette, she won't even notice the hurt in her voice.

She blinks rapidly and swallows the lump in her throat again.

“Tobs, I can explain.” She's not really sure though if there's a protocol on this or if there are right words she has to say that may help her bail out from her case.

The air around them is becoming thick but the moment somehow is so fragile. It feels like she's stepping on a glass floor that might break off in a blink of an eye if she does one wrong move.

Tobin pushes herself up from her Jeep and pockets her hands in her jeans, kicking a few tiny rocks on the pavement.

“Okay, I'm listening.” Is all she says then she's back to leaning against her Jeep, her golden brown eyes squinting while staring at Christen.

Christen releases a deep breath she has not realized she's been holding in since she saw Tobin. She steps forward, inching closer to her girlfriend. Talking to her from a distance feels foreign and awkward for Christen but Tobin shakes her head no.

“No touching. Talk first.” She says in a commanding and authoritative tone which halts Christen to where she's standing at and makes her heart race even faster.

She breaks eye contact with Tobin and bends her head low. Shame and guilt washing all over her. Prickly beads of tears slowly making appearance on the corners of her eyes. Her nails digging painfully in the insides of her palms.

“I'm sorry.” She finally able to let out. She cringes at how shaky and small she sounds though.

“Why are you so nervous? You didn't do anything wrong.” She internally scolds herself. “Oh well, you did lie but it's negotiable.”

She hears Tobin groan deep, pulling her out from her own thoughts. “What are you sorry for, Chris?”

It has taken Christen aback how Tobin sounds startled and nervous as well. She looks up and sees concern mixed with a hint of anger on Tobin's face.

“For lying. For not telling the truth. For taking too long to respond. For making you worried.”

Tobin scoffs and pushes herself off from her Jeep. “Where were you?”

“I didn't entirely lie. I really did go out for a quick run and coffee. You know I always do that. So I was outside this tea house and when I was looking down on my phone to text you back, I bumped into an old friend from college. I'm sorry I got caught up in our conversation and forgot to shoot back a message. It was a case of mental lapse.” She explains herself. It's the best she can think of at the moment but she knows it won't be enough for Tobin. She won't let this die down easily.

Tobin shakes her head and laughs mockingly. “So you lied?”

“I was afraid you'd get mad and we'd get in a fight if you found out I was just hanging out with a friend while you were dead worried. I…” She trails off. “I don't wanna get in a fight. We barely see each other now. It's the last thing I wanna do when we're together.”

She hears Tobin scoffs. “So this is my fault after all, huh? You lying to me because I don't spend enough time with you? Is that what you're trying to say, Chris?”

“No! What are you saying? That's not what I meant. I'm not putting the blame on you. You know I've been nothing but understanding about this whole situation. Have you ever heard me complain? Not once, Tobin. Not even if I was dying of missing you.” She internally curses herself when she hears her own voice rising a pitch than the normal.

“Funny, you lied because you didn't want us get in a fight but that's exactly what's happening now. You could have avoided it if you only told me the truth. I wouldn't be against you meeting a friend.” Tobin remains calm but Christen knows her better than anybody else to detect the bite in her tone.

Christen lets out an exasperated sigh in defeat. “You're right. I should have known that. I'm sorry, Tobs. I don't know what else to say other than to admit I was wrong. I know I fucked up big this time. I shouldn't have lied. But can we get pass this now? I haven't seen you for days. I miss you so much.” She begs with pleading and glistening eyes.

Tobin's face softens at this but she's still keeping the torturous distance between them. “Who was that friend you were with?”

“He's Nima. He's a friend back in Stanford. We haven't seen each other for years. I went to this Japanese tea house because our favorite café was close. Then I bumped into him and we talked over tea. I'm sorry I lost track of time and I forgot about your texts.”

Christen attempts again to step closer to Tobin. The physical gap between them is killing her every second that passes by. Her heart skips when Tobin doesn't stop her this time.

However, before she can finally close the space between them, Tobin speaks again, startling her. “You two seem super close.”

Christen looks down and lets out a small smile spread across her face. “Yeah, we are. He was one of my closest friends in college before he transferred to NYU. Kelley knows him, too. Actually, we were planning on getting us all four on a dinner or something. I want you two to meet.”

Tobin slowly nods her head. The tension between them a while ago somewhat gradually dissipating. Christen wants to hold her but she's not sure if she's in the clear to do that yet.

After a moment of silence, Tobin pushes herself up and moves around the hood of her Jeep, Christen stepping behind to make space for her, a little unsure of what's happening or gonna happen next. For a second she thought Tobin is going to open the door for her to get in. But Tobin's face remains unreadable so she opts to staying put on her spot.

She can't figure whether they are now okay or Tobin is still mad and she'll still have to do more convincing and pleading for Tobin to finally forgive her. A hundred thoughts running in her head in a short span of time. All of each is making her more anxious.

Tobin opens the door of the passenger's seat without saying any word to her. It takes her a few seconds before she reemerges and walks back to where Christen is awkwardly standing. She's holding a bouquet of flowers in her hand and two cups of coffee in a cup holder in her right.

“Here, for you.” She hands the flowers to Christen, a coy smile and blush playing on her cheeks. “Forget about these though.” She lifts up the cups of coffee. “I drove here around fifty minutes ago. I'm quite positive these are cold now.” Christen takes the bouquet silently, unable to form any words. She's caught off guard by the sudden twist of things.

Deep inside she's somersaulting out of pure love and joy. However, guilt floods all over her too as she realizes Tobin's thoughtfulness.

“I don't deserve her. She's too perfect.” She tells herself internally.

“And…you've already had tea, so whatever.” Tobin gives her a tight-lip smile and walks pass her, their shoulders brushing ever slightly, and drops the coffee into the trash just a few feet afar.

Christen brings the flowers close to her nose, inhaling the fresh and morning scent of daisies, her favorite. There are orange, yellow, pink, and red. It reminds her of summer and spring and the beach and Tobin of course.

“Do you like them?” Tobin's raspy voice startles and jerks her up, breaking her reverie. The brunette is now a few inches away from her. Her eyes intently locking with Christen's.

Christen’s nose crinkles. She smiles at her girlfriend and nods. “Of course. They're my favorite. Thank you, babe.” She steps closer to Tobin and anchors her arm around her neck, pulling her into a hug. “I miss you.” She whispers against the warm skin of Tobin's neck. Tobin's familiar smell, a mix of detergent and orange, brings comfort in her system. It's like she's home, safe and warm.

Tobin snakes her arms around her waist, tightening the embrace more if that's even possible. “I miss you, too.” She sighs deep. “Babe?” She rasps out reluctantly.

Christen hums in response, eyes closed and basking the warmth coming off Tobin’s lean figure. Her clinginess now showing off.

“I don't wanna fight, too. Please, don't ever lie again.” There's plea and warn at the same time in her tone.

Christen lifts her head up and locks eyes with Tobin. “Yeah, I'm sorry. I won't ever do it again. That's a promise.” She leans forward, softly pecking Tobin's lips. Both eyes closed, they smile under the kiss.

“And I'm sorry I got mad. I was just…I thought I did something wrong. So I drove fast here but you weren't around when you said you're home. Then I saw some dude dropping you off and I…I was…it scared me.”

Christen caresses her cheek, Tobin leaning in to the touch. “No, I'm sorry, babe. It was all my fault. I gave you reasons to be mad.” She kisses the tip of Tobin's nose. “You were scared? Why?”

Tobin only stares at her. Words seem to have abandoned her.

“Why did it scare you, Tobs?” Christen inquires again, her head cocking to the side.

Tobin swallows hard before she finds the courage to speak again. “I thought I lost you. I thought that guy…I thought I lost you to him.”

“Tobin, you know I will never do that to you, right? I love you. Only you. Just you, Tobin.” Christen kisses her deep and slow to reassure the brunette that there is nothing or rather no one to be afraid of because there's no one else she wants to be with but Tobin.

Tobin breaks the kiss with a grin. “That's nice to hear.”

“Babe?” Christen chuckles.

Tobin opens her eyes, confused. “Yeah?”

“Did you just admit you were jealous?” Christen is now giggling, alternately raising her brows up and down.

Tobin rolls her eyes and smiles. “Fine, I kinda did.”

“I thought you never get jealous?” Christen teases her more.

“Oh, shut up.” Tobin presses their lips again to shush her and hide her embarrassment, pulling back a moment later. “Babe, I hate to say this but I gotta go now. I just left the office in a hurry and told them I'd be back real quick. That I just needed to check up on you.”

“What, nooo! You just got here. I just got you back!” Christen whines in protest, her face falling into a scowl. She tightens her hold of Tobin and buries her face in her chest, refusing to let her girlfriend go.

Tobin chuckles. “Not my fault. I got here almost an hour ago. YOU, just got here.” Tobin points out.

Christen shakes her head in disapproval. She slots her face in the crook of Tobin's neck and kisses the tan skin ever softly. “Stay.” She plants another kiss. Tobin shivers at the sensation it's causing to her. Christen sensing her effect on the brunette, grows confidence and leans forward again and plants another gentle warm kiss under Tobin's prominent jawline. “I miss you. Don't you miss me?”

Tobin squeezes Christen’s waist. She's being rendered powerless and weak under Christen’s simple yet seductive antics. “Baaabe.”

“I want you.” Christen bites down on the exposed skin then soothing it later with her hot tongue. “Now. Between my legs.”

Tobin groans before softly pushing her off of her. She looks down on Christen. Her eyes wide and dilated. She doesn't think she can ever say no to Christen. She knows though that she can never refuse to her girlfriend's requests. Not when she's like this, warm and seductive and persistent. She doesn't have enough willpower. After all, she's just Tobin, a human. Christen is a goddess who easily gets whatever she wants anytime she wants if she wills it to.

“Come on.” She withdraws her arms from Christen's waist and pulls her towards the entrance of the building.

They half jog to Christen’s apartment, making a quick work of opening the door. Tobin kicking it behind her in a haste, Christen chuckling at her impatience. It's been almost three weeks since the last time they had sex. Every time they attempted it was either one of them was exhausted and not on the mood so they would just knock it off or they were both at it but one would fall asleep during foreplay, leaving the other frustrated and pissed.

They only reach as far as the couch, Christen’s bedroom seem to be too far and impossible to mount in their current state. Tobin makes a quick work of their clothes, pulling them off and tossing them out of the way.

Christen arches her back when Tobin blows cold air in her throbbing clit. “Babe, stop teasing.” She begs Tobin who's lovingly observing her reaction from in between her spread legs. Tobin climbs over her so they are eye level.

“Open your eyes.” The brunette demands, her voice coated with want and desire. Christen almost comes just by hearing her voice.

She opens her eyes as she's told. “I love you, Christen.” Tobin breathes out. The corners of her eyes glistening as she utters those words.

Christen places a hand on Tobin's face. “I love you, Tobin.” She lifts up and connects their lips. The kiss is not hurried nor aggressive nor seeking for dominance. It is slow and soft and passionate. It's trying to channel emotions that words can't describe enough. Both of them giving in to the other, taking turns to express how much they love the other.

When the kissing becomes insufficient and rather frustrating than satisfying for the both of them, Tobin willingly takes the lead, slotting a leg between Christen's and starts kissing down to her neck. She cups Christen’s breast and squeezes it roughly with her dominant hand. She kisses further down until her hot mouth finds the tan girl's erect nipple and sucks hard on it. So much for taking it slow and easy. She knows Christen loves it hard and dirty for most times.

Christen arches her back again and brings her hands through Tobin's hair, pulling her in and encouraging her mouth to continue doing its magic. She moans loud when Tobin simultaneously tweaks her left nipple, bites on her right, and pushes her thigh deeper between Christen’s, providing an ever so light pressure on her clit that's making her folds even wetter and wanting for more.

“Fuck!” Christen shuts her eyes closed, basking the sensation of Tobin's expert tongue and mouth feasting on her taunt mounts of nipples.

She grips on the brunette even tighter when Tobin nudges her legs open even wider and runs her hand down until her long, firm fingers find her throbbing clit and tugs on it roughly.

“Oh my god!” She throws her head back out of pure pleasure and a mix of pain. She's not sure how loud she is and if her neighbors are overhearing her moans early in the morning and honestly she can't care less. She's so turned on at the moment. What she's quite sure though is that if Tobin keeps doing her assault, she won't last that long.

She pulls on Tobin's hair and coaxes her to lift her face up and leave her breasts for a moment. “I need you inside of me.” She utters in labored breaths.

Tobin smiles at her knowingly before leaning in and connecting their lips. Christen moans against the kiss and bucks her hips up when Tobin pinches her bundle of nerves again.

“I'm doing this my way. I'm going to fuck you in ways that will please me.” The authority and roughness in Tobin's voice is almost enough for Christen to reach climax and comes.

Tobin wraps a hand around Christen's neck, putting just enough pressure as to not cross the line between pleasure and pain. It's difficult to keep her balance in that position on the couch and not crush Christen beneath her but she manages to keep herself in place.

“And you're going to call me Daddy as we fuck.” Tobin commands.

Christen can't help but chuckle at this. They've done roleplaying before, had sex in the most unimaginable places, been into characters while fucking but she always plays the dominant and aggressive and Tobin always settles to being the passive and submissive other because she knows Christen loves it and she loves it as well just as the same. So it's kind of funny and foreign for Christen to hear Tobin wanting to be the one taking in charge.

Tobin's brows knit, somewhat confused why Christen finds this funny. She unwraps her hand from Christen's neck and pulls her hand off from between Christen's thighs. Christen grips her hand and shakes her head profusely in disapproval.

“What are you doing?” Already missing Tobin's touch.

Tobin tilts her head to the side. “Why are you chuckling?”

Christen shakes her head in response, not wanting to discuss it any further and cause more delay. She guides Tobin's hand back to her thighs and bucks her hips up, grinding her core impatiently against Tobin's fingers.

“Fuck me daddy, please.” Their eyes bore into each other as Christen continues to thrust her core and seek more pressure.

Tobin groans feeling Christen’s soaked folds at the tip of her fingers. She torturously rubs them along Christen’s wetness, up and down ever so slowly to tease the tan girl.

After a few strokes and series of long groans of frustration from Christen, the brunette finally takes pity and carefully dips two fingers inside of Christen, sizing Christen up and letting her adjust and get used to the sensation. 

Christen throws her head against Tobin's shoulder and bites down on the exposed skin. Her arms finding strength on her girlfriend's broad torso and cling unto it for her dear life.

Tobin starts painfully slow. Still punishing Christen with shallow, gentle strokes until Christen literally cries out and begs her. “Tobin please! I need more!” She's bucking her hips up frantically just to meet Tobin's fingers with a faster pace.

Tobin halts her fingers. “What did you call me again?”

“Daddy! Please!” She yelps, much to Tobin's satisfaction.

“That's it baby, beg.” Tobin adds another finger and finally amps her movement. She pumps incredulously fast and harder inside Christen, the heel of her palm hitting Christen’s clit and sending pleasure and shivers along Christen’s spine.

Christen bites down again on Tobin's shoulder, stifling her cries when the sensation becomes too much to contain.

“Don't do that.” Tobin demands. “I wanna hear you.” Her breathing is labored as well. Small beads of sweat slowly forming on her forehead and dripping just as Christen’s.

“Fuck! I'm so close…” She throws her head back, eyes shut closed and mouth agape. When she opens her eyes, she sees Tobin’s pair of golden eyes staring down at her lovingly.

“Don't come until I tell you.” The brunette rasps out. She too sounds as worked up as the girl underneath her.

Christen nods frantically. “Kiss me please.” She leans forward, coaxing Tobin to meet her halfway.

Tobin bends down and reconnects their lips. This time their kiss is heated and impatient. Mouths sucking each other, teeth clashing, hot tongues battling for dominance, moans find escape that are surely loud enough to send discomfort to the neighbors.

Tobin curls her fingers, hitting Christen just in the right place. “I'm so close!” She yells, breaking the kiss and shutting down her vision. “Fuck! I won't last long! I'm so—” Tobin twists her hand and brings her thumb on Christen's clit, rubbing it in circles as she thrusts roughly inside her. She's grinding her own core against Christen’s thigh even faster, too, leaving the skin beneath soaked.

“Come for me, baby. Come for me.” She doubles her pace as if it isn't fast enough already when she feels Christen’s walls start to contract. “Come only for me, Chris.”

Christen shivers and stiffens under her girlfriend’s penetration. Her vaginal walls wrapping hard around Tobin's fingers. A loud guttural cries escape from both of them, scandalizing the entire apartment floor.

Tobin lets her ride out her orgasm, stilling her thumb that is pressed on Christen's clit and keeping her fingers inside for a few moments before pulling them out.

“Baby, look at me.” Tobin brings her soaked fingers to her mouth and sucks them clean. The lust and desire in her eyes intensify as she's had a taste of Christen.

Christen grips on her hand and brings them to her own mouth, sucking on each finger tentatively and tasting the faint taste of herself mixed with Tobin's saliva all while holding eye contact.

Christen flips them over so she's now towering Tobin. She smirks down on a disheveled Tobin underneath her. “My turn.” She bends her head low and starts kissing the crook of Tobin's neck.

Tobin grips hard on her shoulders and pushes her up, urging her to stop. Christen looks up and stares at Tobin confusedly. “What's wrong?”

Tobin tilts her head to the side, not meeting Christen’s gaze. “I…I need a minute.”

“Why?” Christen is confused but more than that she's concerned and worried that she's done something wrong that is upsetting Tobin.

Tobin bites down on her lip. “I came just as you did. You looked so hot and I couldn't hold back myself anymore. And I already felt exhausted before driving here cause I didn't have enough sleep last night. I was editing the next issue until two in the morning or three, I'm not sure. I'm sorry, Chris. But I'll be good…just give me a minute and I'm good to go again.” She rambles out.

Christen sighs in relief. She cups Tobin's cheek and urges her girlfriend to face her. “Aw, Tobs. It's okay. You don't need to apologize. Take your time. We're not going anywhere for the rest of the morning anyway.” She gives her a reassuring smile.

Tobin gulps. “But they're waiting for me… I have to—” 

Christen leans in and pecks her lips, shushing her. “Nope, not happening. I'm keeping you captive until noon.”

Tobin raises her brows. “Until noon?” An unexpected yawn escapes her mouth.

Christen shifts to her side off of Tobin, so she's lying on her back. She gestures for Tobin to rest her head on her chest. “Yup, I have a class in the afternoon but it won't start until 1:30. So until then we can do whatever you want.”

Tobin drapes a hand across her waist, her head nestles and finding comfort on Christen's chest. “Mmmm...’kay” She hums, her eyes drifting off.

Christen sensing Tobin's exhaustion is already taking a toll on her, plants a kiss at the top of her forehead and slowly draws invisible soothing patterns on her shoulders.

“Or we can just cuddle and take a nap.” She muffles in her hair but Tobin has already fallen asleep fast and fails to hear when she adds “I love you so much, Tobin” at the end, before she too yawns softly and she drifts off to sleep as well.

 

Tobin is rudely awaken by a loud blaring of a phone. She scoots up to find the source of the noise buzzing insanely on the night table on her left. She looks at the empty wrinkled space beside her. Christen has already left the bed and is nowhere in the room. Tobin doesn't remember how they ended there from the couch. Christen must have carried her to her room while she was asleep. The tan girl knows she gets terrible back aches if she sleeps long enough on the couch.

“Chris, you're phone is killing me!” Tobin yells out in the air. Christen shouts back something from outside but she can't make up anything from it behind the close door.

She rubs the sleep away from her eyes and stretches her arms up. Christen's phone still hasn't stopped from pestering her. She grabs the phone and sees an unknown number calling persistently.

“God just fuck off!” She mutters under her breath. She walks to Christen’s dresser and pulls an extra large shirt from piles of clothing to cover her nakedness but not caring enough to bother herself to putting an underwear on. After all she's in Christen's place and Christen has seen all of her.

She leaves the bedroom and finds Christen in the kitchen, standing by the stove, cooking something with just a red lingerie on. Tobin swallows hard, gawking at Christen’s pair of firm round ass.

The phone blares out again and startles her. “Shut the fuck up!” She curses louder than she intends to.

Christen turns around. She has a spatula on her hand and a finger on her mouth. She tilts her head to the side. “Excuse me?” She asks playfully. A knowing smile plastered on her face.

Tobin bites her lip. Her eyes are anchored on Christen's chest that fits the lingerie impossibly fine. Christen clears her throat. “Tobin? What's going on?”

Tobin lazily drags her stare up to Christen’s face. “Umm...nothing. Just that someone has been calling your phone.” She raises her hand that's tucking the device.

Christen is internally giving herself a high-five for having such effect on the brunette.

“Who?” She walks closer to Tobin, painfully slow than normal. Tobin isn't sure whether Christen is doing it on purpose or if it's just her mind memorizing every feature of Christen’s body in a slow motion.

Tobin's gaze falls back down to her chest. “Uh…I don't know…it's an unknown number.”

Christen stops when she's just a foot away from Tobin and extends her hand. “Let me see.” Tobin doesn't register whatever the green eyed girl is saying. She's so turned on and lost and captivated by the pair of round perfect breasts in front of her.

Christen smirks. “Tobin, my phone. May I have it?”

Tobin snaps out of her reverie and smiles at her coyly, rubbing the back of her neck. “Yeah, of course. Here, I'm sorry. I got really distracted.”

She hands the phone over to Christen. “Dammit, that caller just won't give the fuck up.” She internally whines.

Christen swipes the screen to the right and answers the call. “Hello? Who's this? Oh, Nima! Hey!” She merrily greets. Tobin's mood dropping drastically upon hearing the caller’s name.

“What? No way! Oh my god, Nima! I can't wait. This is gonna be so fun!” Christen squeaks, her pitch a little higher than her normal speaking voice Tobin is used to.

The two talk endlessly over the phone and Tobin rolls her eyes each time Christen laughs exaggeratedly over something that Tobin doesn't know. She can't overhear whatever they're talking and as much as she hates to admit it and totally out of her cool character, she's trying to eavesdrop on the conversation just to appease her growing curiosity and annoyance. 

“Come on, it must not be that funny.” She bitterly tells herself when Christen falls into another fit of laughter.

Her stomach growls halfway through the two friends' conversation, reminding her that she hasn't eaten anything since passed three yesterday afternoon. 

She looks at the stove and sees the unfinished and almost cold pasta that Christen was preparing for them for lunch before the phone call interrupted their morning.

“Chris may I?” She gestures to the pan. She's gonna finish cooking it herself since Christen seems to be having no plans of cutting the call off any time sooner and feeding her. And honestly she can't care less anymore whether Christen tells her no. She's hungry. All hell loose, she'll do the extremes just to fill her stomach with anything.

Christen nods her head in the affirmative though. “Yeah, yeah, sure.” She walks out to the living room, settling herself on the couch and getting more comfortable.

Fortunately for Tobin, the pasta doesn't need much work. It only needs a little more heating and spices before it's ready to eat. Tobin may not be an expert in the kitchen, hell, she burns water and serves raw pizza, but she's proud to say she makes decent pasta. Although Allie, being the greatest best friend in the planet, disagrees with all of her heart and soul.

She adds freshly chopped basil and a pint of powdered black pepper. “Mmm…five-star restaurant quality.” She proudly says tasting the dish herself and finding it surprisingly better than she thought it would taste like.

She feels a pair of arms snake around her waist and soft breasts pressing purposely against her back. She continues to stir the pan though, making each strand coated with sauce and deliberately ignoring Christen as the tan girl rests her chin at the top of her shoulder.

“Mmm that smells good.” Christen muffles, her hand playing at the hem of Tobin's shirt.

Tobin only hums in response. She's too famished to say anything back.

Sensing Tobin's indifference, Christen tightens her arms around Tobin and deeps her head at the crook of Tobin's neck. “Babe, is anything wrong? Are you…are you mad?”

Tobin shakes her head no but untangles Christen’s arms from her waist. She turns around and faces the tan girl.

“Why would I? I’m just famished and I need to eat. I still have a long day ahead.” She scoffs and with that she turns her back again and makes a quick work of putting the pasta on their plates.

She grabs the plates and walks to the table, Christen following behind and settles on the chair across the table from Tobin. They eat in silence, Tobin munching clumsily and scraping the last strand of pasta off her plate. Christen only takes a few and barely touches hers.

When Tobin has finished the last bit of pasta and stifled a burp, Christen sets her fork down and stares at her girlfriend.

“Are you full now?” She asks, finally breaking the awkward silence that has been enveloping them since she has ended her phone call with Nima.

Tobin doesn't respond back more than nodding and humming a yes.

“Tobin, are you mad?” Worry and concern evident in her voice.

Tobin slouches against the back of the chair. “Nah, not really, just upset I guess…” She trails. “You said you missed me and wanted to spend time together. You made me skip an important meeting this morning but you just wasted an hour of OUR time talking to someone else over the phone while I'm here. Worse, you let me starved so you could have all your focus on that call.” 

“That's just Nima. He called to inform we'll be working for the same research. He just learned about it just now. I didn't know either so I got really excited when he told me.” Christen justifies herself. Her voice turning small. “I'm sorry.” She adds apologetically.

Tobin pushes herself up and walks over to the fridge, opening it to grab a bottle of cold water. “Of course, it's him yet again.” She scoffs. “You always seem to forget about me whenever you're talking to him.” She uncaps the bottle and takes a long swig. She leans her back against the fridge’s door. Her eyes darting on Christen's.

Christen can tell just by her voice that her girlfriend is upset but she's not mad nor furious. Just disappointed though. This gives Christen the courage and confidence that she can change Tobin's spoiled mood and prevent anything from escalating unfavorably.

Christen leaves her chair and steps forward to Tobin. “Don't say that. He's my friend and you're my girlfriend. There's a difference. You always come first. Babe, it's always you first before anyone else.” She steps closer and wraps Tobin in a hug.

“Hmm…I don't know about that. It's the second time this morning that you totally ignored me because you were talking to him.” Tobin pouts her lips adorably. 

Christen bends over and plants a lingering kiss. “Let me make up to you then.” She tilts her head and finds the skin under Tobin's ear, nibbling on it expertly good.

“Christen…” Tobin mumbles in an already labored breath, trying to suppress a moan. “You do have a class later, don't you?” She reminds Christen whose teeth and tongue are deliciously attacking her neck and making her head fuzzy.

“I still have forty minutes before I need to get ready. I can work on that. You know how efficient I am.” Christen whispers between kissing and gnawing on Tobin's skin.

She scoops Tobin's thighs up, surprising the brunette with her strength. Tobin instinctively wraps her legs around her waist and rests her head in the crook of Christen's neck, dropping the water bottle mindlessly on the floor and wrapping her arms around Christen.

Christen carries her over to the table, pushing the dishes off to the side and replacing them with a heaving, expectant Tobin whose eyes now hooded with lust and want.

“I'm still hungry. I haven't eaten much.” She spreads Tobin's legs wider. She licks her lips at the sight of Tobin's wet folds and swollen pinkish clit in front of her.

Tobin props herself up with her elbows and gazes at her earnestly. “Wait, you didn't like my pasta? I thought it was really good.” Another pout appears on her face.

Christen laughs out loud. “No, I love it! Just that…” She bends down, her eyes dilating and growing darker. “…this, right here, is my favorite dish.” She darts out her tongue flatly and licks languidly on Tobin's already soaked folds.

Tobin subconsciously bucks her groin up and entangles her hands through Christen’s hair, pulling her in deeper to her core.

“Fuck!” Throwing her head back, Tobin cries out loud in heavenly bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who spend their time reading this fic:) Hope this chapter doesn't disappoint much.
> 
> Leave comments and let me know more what you think.
> 
> Thanks!


	18. I'd Kill Allie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this update took too long.
> 
> First, because it's school break and I get to travel a lot  
> Second, I'm in a new relationship and umm she kinda occupy most of my time now lol  
> Third, I sprained my fucking foot three days ago and I'm into a lot of pain:(

Christen checks her phone for what seems to be the nth time in the evening. She's halfway through setting up dinner on the table with Nima and Kelley in her apartment’s kitchen. Instead of just conveniently going out to a restaurant, Nima has volunteered to cook for them in her place. He reasoned out how his two friends loved and must have missed whatever he cooked back when they were still all attending college in Stanford.

Kelley and Christen have agreed on the idea. True, Nima was a good cook, even great as far as they remember and they kinda miss his savory beef teriyaki and chicken katsu which both Asian recipes he learned when he travelled alone to Tokyo after graduating from high school. And of course his specialty, his avocado salad that for unbeknownst reason she showers with a lot of mango purée on. Christen suspects it must be because Kelley’s five year old childish heart loves it so much.

She's contemplating on texting her girlfriend again. She doesn't want to be needy but Tobin was supposed to arrive an hour ago and join them. However, in between chopping off vegetables and preparing the chicken and beef and animatedly recalling Kelley's stupid pranks in college which may or may have not involved a chemistry professor almost chocking to death with a cherry stalk, Tobin made a short call to her apologizing and saying she would be running a little late. Her team has to edit and redo a week-worth of work because their magazine’s Australian client isn't satisfied and doesn't find their next issue appealing and marketable enough for the Australian palate.

Christen could only say yes and assure Tobin that it's fine and she understands Tobin has a lot to deal with right now. She explained to both of her friends the situation. Thoughtfully, Kelley and Nima said it was okay to wait a little longer for Tobin over a glass of red wine. Besides, they weren't starved yet.

But Christen doesn't want to keep them waiting long. She thinks it's rude. After all, they are her guests and their accommodation and convenience should be her top priority at the moment. Also if they don't start dinner the soonest possible and Kelley continues on sipping from her wine on the pace she's going on, she doubts her best friend will still be conscious enough to even start dinner with them later.

So she opts to sending another text to Tobin asking about her current location.

Christen Press: Hey babe, are you still in the office? Dinner will be in a few minutes. Hope you won’t be running too late

When her message remains unanswered after ten minutes and her hand starts being antsy and can't stop from fidgeting the edges of her phone, she relents to texting her girlfriend another one.

Christen Press: I know you're busy but do you think you can still make it to dinner? I don’t really wanna keep them waiting long. 

Nima and Kelley are still engrossed talking to each other at the kitchen island, not really bothered by the delay and Tobin's tardiness. Both have fallen into a fit of laughter recalling how Christen uncharacteristically almost burned down, according to Kelley, the “entire university dorm” although it was only a portion of her desk, when they were freshmen and luckily got away with it through the help of, no less than, Kelley's superb ability to making up alibis.

“You can literally get away with murder any day, Kels!” Nima voices out a little louder, the wine starting to kick in and loose him up in Kelley's presence.

Kelley grabs the wine bottle and pours more liquid in her glass, “Hey, just to clear things, I don't take pride on being able to easily convince people to fall for my lies. But it's a nice feeling to be able to help friends with that talent.” She's grinning at Christen’s direction, the corners of her eyes squinting in delight. “Right, Chris?” She adds while setting the bottle down on the granite surface.

Christen lifts her attention from her phone back to her friends, “What?” She asks confusingly. She gives them a coy smile later, silently apologizing for not mentally present at the moment with them.

Kelley rolls her eyes, “Nothing. Is Tobin now on her way?” She takes another long swig from her glass, eyes still on Christen who's staring again on her phone.

Christen shakes her head no, “She hasn't texted back.” She pushes herself up from her seat and puts her phone down. “But we can start dinner now. I know you're hungry and I don't want the food to get cold.”

She turns her back from them and moves hastily to the stove where the chicken katsu and beef teriyaki are still in their respective pans.

She hears Kelley clicks her tongue as if she’s contemplating on something. “You know, I can’t blame Tobin for wanting to spend more time at work. Unlike mine, her “office”…” She makes invisible quotes in the air, putting emphasis on the word. “is pretty much flocked by hot, A+ models most of the time. I’d definitely just be as dedicated as Tobin is.” She jokingly whispers to Nima.

But this doesn’t go unheard by Christen. “Funny, O’Hara. Since when did you become comical? Oh wait, always!” She spits out with a hint of a bite in her tone.

She doesn’t wanna snap at her friend. She knows Kelley doesn’t mean it seriously and she’s tipsy, maybe even drunk at the moment, but the teasing and joke don’t fit perfectly well in Christen’s growing frustration over her girlfriend.

“Pretty Pressy, you know I was only kidding, right?” Kelley playfully shouts from the counter, her hands thrown up in the air to show her mock disbelief over her best friend’s reaction.

Christen can only shake her head and smile both at Kelley and herself for almost losing her cool. “Of course, Kel. I know.” She turns on the stove to reheat the pans that are starting to get cold, making extra cautions she sets it on the lowest heat just so she can avoid the food from accidentally burning.

“I don't mind waiting for her, Chris.” Nima states plainly, “Really, it's no big deal. Besides, it's still relatively early and,” He pauses and takes a quick sip from his glass. “I’m having fun talking with O’Hara here.” He finishes and points at Kelley with his free index finger before sending her a rather friendly wink across the counter.

But it's already thirty minutes past eight in the evening. Christen mentally tells herself. The sun has long set and the sky outside is already a mix of grey and purple clouds. She's just about to object Nima when her phone starts ringing. All their attention focused on the loud device.

Christen hastily moves back to the kitchen island, gazing down on the screen to see who the caller is, although she already has an idea who it might be, before fishing it out and swiping it right.

She clears her throat first, calming herself and swallowing down her thinning patience for the other person from the other line.

“Hey,” She timidly greets. She moves out of the kitchen to the living room to provide the call a bit of privacy from their friends.

“Chris, I'm sorry. I didn't text back. I was driving,” Tobin blurts out.

Christen takes a deep breath and tries to calm herself and not get pissed with Tobin. “Okay, so where are you now?” Her tone raising a little, giving Tobin the hint that Christen might be annoyed at the moment.

“I'm on my way. I just pulled over when I noticed your messages. I'll be there in like 10,” Tobin reluctantly says.

“Cool, I'm just as about to serve the food,” Christen coldly says but her mood is now slowly becoming better than a while ago.

Tobin releases a sigh, somewhat relieved that her girlfriend is not nagging her over the phone. She knows how Christen values time and punctuality and hates tardiness.

It's a moment of silence before one of them speaks again, “I better keep driving now.” Tobin breaks the lull between them.

Christen nods as if Tobin can see her from the other line, “Drive safely.” She reminds the brunette. “I love you.” She whispers softly.

Tobin must be sporting the biggest grin on her face because Christen can almost hear her smile over the phone.

“I will and I love you too, Chris. I'll be there before you know it,” The other girl replied.

Christen genuinely smiles, “You better be.”

The call ends. Christen nonchalantly throws her phone on the couch and quickly hops her way back to the kitchen. Her mood definitely a notch better now. She walks in to Kelley pouring a now empty wine bottle to her glass. Nima's just seated by her side, staring at the freckled girl with amusement in his eyes and looking drunk as well but not as bad as Kelley is.

A little over fifteen minutes have gone by and just as Christen is about to finally lose the thin patience left in her from waiting, Christen hears the front door cracks open and a familiar lazy thud of footsteps makes it way from the living area to the kitchen. Tobin emerges with a bottle of red wine and a bouquet of flowers on her other hand.

She’s a bit worn out than her usual tired look the past few weeks. Her golden, brown hair is pulled in a real messy bun that’s not even cute. Her eyes are mopey and there are dark patches just below them. She’s still in her black leather jacket and (now crinkled) white shirt and dark skinny jeans from yesterday when she dropped by at the gym for a few minutes to surprise Christen and Julie with cups of coffee. To say she’s disheveled is quite an understatement.

In any other day, Christen would’ve been pissed and wished Tobin had given more effort on looking good in her first meeting with her college friend. But Christen knows she has a lot to deal with lately and has no spare time to even groom herself to look presentable. Heck she barely has time for them anymore.

“Am I in trouble?” Tobin merrily introduces her presence in the room. There’s a wide grin across her face but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

 _She must be really tired._ Christen muses, her annoyance a while ago is fading out and is now slowly replaced by guilt for almost losing her patience despite the fact she knows Tobin’s trying her best to be physically present when she needs her and concern for her girlfriend’s well-being. She can’t help but noticed how Tobin’s starting to lose weight. Her collarbones now more prominent than ever since they met almost three years ago.

Christen sends Tobin a reassuring lip-tight smile and shakes her head no, signaling she’s in the clear for this one.

Kelley hops off from her seat in the table and pads towards Tobin. “Aww, Tobin! I didn’t expect them but thanks anyway. You’re so sweet!” She grabs the bouquet of daisies away from the brunette’s hold and brings them close to her nose, sniffing the floral scent while eyes closed and spinning around dramatically on tiptoes.

Tobin’s grin grows even bigger. She can only scratch the back of her neck while shrugging and sending Christen an apologetic look across the room.

Christen rolls her eyes playfully and trudges forward toward her friend and snatches the flowers off of her. “You look cute Kel but these are absolutely aren’t for you. I’m sorry.” She turns her back from a pouting Kelley and moves to the counter and sets the flowers down.

Nima pushes himself off his own seat and walks over to Tobin a bit too enthusiastically. The wine giving him enough confidence to introduce himself right away without waiting for Christen’s help. “Hey, I’m Nima by the way. Christen’s friend from college.” He extends his hand out in his pure display of politeness despite his tipsy state. “I’m guessing you’re Tobin, right? I’ve heard a lot about you.” He finishes. He’s standing tall and proud in front of Tobin who is, being herself, slouching a bit and not caring at all about correcting her posture.

Tobin gives Christen an amused face first, taken aback at how confident the guy is, before reaching her own and shaking Nima’s hand. She doesn’t mean it but she’s gripping on his hand a little stronger than necessary or for a normal handshake. “Yeah, it’s Tobin. I’ve heard a lot about you, too. It’s nice to finally put a face on that name Christen can’t stop gushing about.”

Nima squeezes her hand in return. “Oh, really?” There’s a hint of challenge in his tone.

Both are staring at each other in an intensity that Christen can’t quite figure whether just a fragment of her imagination or really building between the two.

“Yup.” Tobin rolls out the word over her tongue without breaking eye contact. Their hands are still gripping each other. “I was even starting to think—” 

Whether Kelley has sensed there’s an unexplainable tension rising between them or she’s just drunk and being carefree, Christen is thankful for her best friend’s impeccable timing. The freckled-face girl throws herself in between the two and draws them into her for a hug, cutting whatever Tobin’s about to say more.

“This is going to be a fun night!” She exclaims to no one in particular.

Tobin and Nima finally rips their eyes off from each other. Their attention is now focused on how to escape under Kelley’s hold alive and in one piece. Tobin is balancing the wine bottle in her hand, trying her best not to drop it on the floor.

Christen trudges to the trio and tries to break them apart. “Kel, let them go.” If Kelley hears her, she doesn’t show any sign. She continues to wrap them around her like a pro-wrestler inside the ring.

“Kelley, the food is getting cold! Do you wanna eat cold katsu and teriyaki?” Christen reasons to her drunk friend further.

Kelley finally loosens her arms and releases them. “Fine, only because I’m starting to feel my belly grumble. But I’m definitely bro hugging you two again once I’m done with dinner.” She points at the two, somewhat giving them a fair warning ahead.

Christen takes the wine bottle from Tobin. “Let me put this on the counter. They’ve already had enough and there’s still a half full bottle on the table.” She gestures to Nima who groggily finds his way back to his seat and Kelley who’s clumsily stuffing salad in her mouth.

Tobin smirks at the sight of them. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

Christen turns her back and attempts to move towards the counter but not before Tobin quickly wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her in.

“Tobin!” A small yelp escapes from her mouth from being surprised by the sudden motion.

Tobin swiftly spins her so they are now facing each other. “Hi” Tobin shows her a grin that’s now more relaxed and meeting her eyes. The kind Christen loves to see stretched on her face.

Christen smiles back and anchors her free arm around her girlfriend’s neck. “Hi” She leans in and gives Tobin a peck on the lips. “I haven’t greeted you the proper way.” She breathes out against Tobin’s lips.

Tobin hums into the kiss and pulls Christen in to give her a deeper kiss. “I’ve been looking forward for this the whole day.” She’s smiling contentedly, her eyes closed as she’s rubbing the tip of her nose against Christen’s.

Christen’s ruffling the hair at the back of Tobin’s neck, massaging it to help relieve her girlfriend’s tensed body. “Yeah, me too. You have no idea.”

“See, that’s the kind of gross I was telling you about. They absolutely forget people exist around them when they are together.” Kelley’s drunken voice dragged them out from their love bubble. “Imagine me witnessing that all the time!” She animatedly gestures her hands up in the air for added effect on her antics.

Tobin scoffs against Christen’s tan cheek. “I can give you a kiss if you ask nicely, Kel.” The brunette jokes.

Christen crinkles her nose and nudges the side of Tobin’s shoulder but Tobin doesn’t budge. “You’re not kissing anyone but me!” She whines under her girlfriend’s hold.

Tobin pulls her in again and plants a kiss on her cheek. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

Christen rolls her eyes. “Whatever. I’m putting this now away from them.” She pushes Tobin a little stronger this time and ables to wiggle herself out from her embrace. She strides away before Tobin gets a hold of her again and opts for the kitchen cabinet at the far right side of the room and opens one, safely tucking the bottle inside the storage, away from Kelley.

Tobin moves to the table and joins the two friends who are discussing something about the biology class they both took in their freshmen year.

 

The night went through in a blur and without a hitch. The food tasted great. The conversation was smooth and funny and very much nostalgic. Christen had to fill Tobin in a couple of times though just so she wouldn’t feel left out from the conversation. Like any other outsider from a circle of friends, the brunette had a hard time catching on a lot of their inside jokes and shared memories back in their younger years. But she didn’t show disinterest or annoyance. She kept poised and collected and even laughed at some jokes she understood.

They didn’t talk much about current personal stuff. Somewhat there was an unvoiced agreement that they would have the talk about their dating life and work for some other nights. But tonight, they dedicate it alone on recalling their time in Stanford together.

They are now merrily chitchatting in the living room. They have vacated the dining table and brought their conversation on the couch after Kelley whined about wanting to be more comfortable. They have finished the half bottle of wine and decided it would be best for all of them to put their liquor consumption at bay and not open another wine bottle. Although Tobin has battled her way to a bottle of beer, reasoning it’s only fair since she didn’t have a glass of wine a while ago. Meanwhile, Kelley has sobered up throughout dinner and after taking a couple of sip from a mug of coffee Christen made for her and Nima.

Christen intertwines her hand with Tobin’s that’s resting on her lap. She squeezes it, silently asking Tobin if she’s feeling alright. Tobin smiles at her and squeezes her hand back, reassuring Christen that she’s fine.

Tobin slowly leans in and for a moment Christen holds her breath in, assuming a kiss from Tobin. But she just tilts her head to the side and whispers ever lightly to her ear instead, with just enough volume so only Christen can hear. “I’m good.” Her sexy, raspy voice sending shivers down to Christen’s spine.

Christen swallows hard and shifts to her side so she’s meeting Tobin’s pair of golden, brown eyes. “Are you sure? You look tired.” She runs a hand through Tobin’s hair and kisses the tip of her nose, Kelley and Nima totally forgotten again across the room.

Tobin curves her lips into a small smile. “Nah, I’m—” She’s cut off by her own yawn reverberating in the room. “Oops, sorry.” She apologizes both to Christen and Nima who’s in the middle of telling another story in his junior year in NYU. Nima shrugs it off and doesn’t take offense. Instead he continues his story to a listening Kelley by his side.

Tobin bends her head and drops it on Christen’s shoulder. “You’re doing that thing with your hand that makes me sleepy.” She mumbles in Christen’s hair. “I can’t help it.” She chuckles. Her eyes now slowly drifting off.

Christen doesn’t want to be rude to her guests but she knows the entire day of work has now taken a toll on Tobin and that she badly needs rest. So she darts her eyes on Kelley (whose face is still anchored on Nima) willing her to turn her head to her direction and help her out.

As if sensing her best friend’s gaze, Kelley shifts her head and meets Christen’s eyes that’s silently telling her it’s time they call it a night. She gestures to Tobin who’s head nestles in the crook of her neck.

Kelley nods in understanding. She takes her phone out and swipes it open. “Hey, Nims. I hate to cut this mini reunion short but I forgot I have an early rounds tomorrow morning.” She brings her phone to Nima’s face to show him her schedule but it’s too close that he’s squinting his eyes from the phone’s light, not giving him the chance to thoroughly check on it.

Kelley draws back her phone and jerks up from her seat. She tucks her phone in her jean pockets and smoothens her now crinkled shirt. “Can we do continue this some other time? I’ll make sure I have a clear schedule the next day so we won’t have to end early.” She offers her hand to Nima who remains in his seat.

He turns her head to Christen. “I think Kelley’s right. We better keep going.” He stretches his hand and takes Kelley’s, pulling her in so he can lift his body up. Kelley stays on her spot and pulls him off the couch.

“Are you sure you’re sober enough to drive?” Christen asks Kelley. Her caring nature taking over.

Kelley waves her off. “I’m calling Uber. Don’t worry, Pressy.” She takes off and moves towards her jacket behind the closed door.

“Hey, I can drive you home…I mean drop you off. Don’t you um…live…I mean you’re building is just the way to mine, right? So umm…” Nima stutters.

Kelley gives him a coy smile. “Thanks but really I’ll be fine. I’m used to having Uber drive me home late nights…even at dawn.” She chuckles.

Nima walks closer to her and eyes her intently. “Kel, it’s late and you’ve had a few drinks. It’s not safe specially you’re unaccompanied.” He reasons out. His voice coated with concern for the freckled girl.

Christen’s chuckling from her seat. She’s finding the interaction between her friends entertaining and cute. It’s amusing to see Kelley being oblivious to what is clearly happening and then there’s Nima who can’t quite settle his nerves in front of Kelley now that the alcohol’s spirit has faded out and he is more sobered than a few moments ago.

Tobin must have felt Christen chuckling. She lifts her face off from her neck and eyes her suspiciously. “What’s happening?” Her voice raspier and groggy like she sounds she has just woken up from drifting off for a couple of minutes.

Christen lowers her gaze at her and kisses the top of her head. “Nothing, just that those two look funny.” She mumbles in her hair.

Kelley picks up her brown sling bag and puts it on over her shoulder. “Really Nims, don’t even bother. Besides, I have to drop off somewhere else before heading home.” She gives Christen a knowing look before looking back at Nima apologetically.

 _Oh right, Emily._ Realization has dawn on Christen and it makes her mood drop low.

Nima gives up after a minute or so of bantering with Kelley but not before making the freckled doctor promise that she’ll let him drive her home next time they hang out. And just to finally put an end to it and before it escalates into something big, Kelley agrees and promises. Her left hand tuck behind her though, fingers crossing.

They said their goodbyes and Tobin thanked Nima for a wonderful dinner. Nima assured them it wouldn’t be the last time and that he has other Asian recipes they shouldn’t miss.

“Can’t wait to try them all.” Tobin responds, a little too enthusiastic for Christen to consider sincere. It’s the same level of enthusiasm she fakes when Christen invites her to join her binge watch Marvel tv series or join her at the park to a communal yoga morning session. She knows Tobin would rather play with a football in her feet or take pictures of young boys and girls playing footie than sit still on a field of thick and well-trimmed green grass.

Kelley and Nima leave Christen’s apartment together, each waving their hands goodbye as Christen is pushing the door closed.

She slumps on the couch next to Tobin whose focused is now on her phone.

The night may have gone better and smoother than Christen had planned but she can’t help the disappointment that’s creeping inside her. She thought after a great night and seeing how Nima and Kelley have seem to easily hit it off again as if they didn’t lose communication for years, Kelley would at least warm up and show some interest with him. But she still remembers Emily at the end of the night and it is still her she wants to spend the rest of it with.

Sure she’s become friends with Emily, too, over the length of time she starts to be something special and more than just a fling to Kelley. But Christen can’t help but want the best for her best friend. And right now she firmly believes it’s not Emily unless she commits herself to Kelley and stop playing games on her.

Deep in her thoughts, she doesn’t notice Tobin carefully dropping her phone on the coffee table and shifts to her side, watching her intently under her gaze. It’s not until she feels a finger poking the side of her head that she realizes she has completely zoned out.

“What’s running in there, huh?” Tobin pokes her temple again, putting more force and aiming to get her attention this time.

She scoots over closer to Tobin and wraps her arms around her torso. “Nothing, just that Kelley sometimes frustrates me.” She subconsciously says.

Tobin starts to rub the small of her back with soothing patterns. “What do you mean? It’s my fault she got a little too much wine tonight. If I didn’t come late she wouldn’t have—” Tobin is cut off by a finger pressed on her lips, keeping it close and her from rambling.

Christen shakes her head in disapproval. “No, it’s not that. Do you think after all these years Kelley’s attitude towards alcohol still frustrates me? I’ve seen worse back in Stanford, Miss Heath.” She chuckles now remembering that time when Kelley razored half of her head bald just because out of too much alcohol intake she thought her hair was strangling her to death.

Tobin just hums. “What is it then? She behaved pretty well the entire night…unless I completely missed something, did I?” She’s rubbing her chin as if contemplating on some details that she might have missed out tonight. “I can’t think of any.” She gives up.

“Don’t you think they would look good together?” Christen starts. “No, not just look good together but actually good for each other.” She slowly pushes herself off from Tobin and looks at her with earnest, hopeful eyes.

“Wait, I don’t get it. That’s what you’re upset about?” Tobin asks incredulously.

Christen silently nods. “Yeah, I don’t mean this in a friendly way, okay? Nima has a big crush on Kelley since we were freshmen and I think he still does. I can see it the way she talks about Kelley and when he offered her a ride tonight? Oh babe, he was stuttering! His nerves were all over the place!”

She takes a moment to take a breath and keep herself from chuckling. “And he’s a really nice guy. Smart and highly educated. He’s grounded and sophisticated and we’ll-mannered. I think that’s what Kelley needs, someone who can tame her wild side a little. He’s a perfect fit for her!” She finishes with an unmatched enthusiasm on her face.  
Tobin, on the other hand, has fallen silent for a minute. “You wanna play Cupid on them?” She softly asks. “Does Kelley know about this? Does Nima?” She adds quickly.

Christen smiles wide. “Yes, you can put it like that.” She proudly says. “And no, they both don’t know about my plan.” She coyly confirms.

“But Chris, there’s Em? Aren’t her and Kelley a thing?” It’s more of a reminder than an actual question.

“That’s the thing. They’re just a “thing” babe. They aren’t official.” She pauses or a while. “Emily doesn’t wanna commit herself to Kelley and I think Kelley deserves more than just being a “thing”for someone.” She explains further.

Tobin doesn’t speak again for a couple of seconds.

Christen squints her eyes as she’s studying her girlfriend’s face to observe any reaction. “Don’t you think I’m right?” There’s a hint of annoyance and disbelief in her tone.

Tobin fixes herself on the couch and sits properly. “I just don’t think it’s your place to determine who’s good or not for Kelley. She’s big enough to decide for herself.” Tobin says in a low, calm voice, careful not to trigger Christen in any way possible.

But it seems she has poked the bear because Christen jerks up from the couch and starts pacing back and forth in front of her. “What do you mean you don’t think it’s my place? Tobin I’m her best friend! For almost a decade now. I’ve seen her in her best and worst and accepted her no matter what. If there is any person other than her mom who can tell who and which is good for her, it’s me. And believe me the way Emily is treating her right now, Kelley deserves someone more.” She stops a few feet from Tobin, her hands are on her waists and she’s looking down on her girlfriend with fierce, ablaze green eyes.

Tobin runs a hand through her golden brown hair and pushes herself up as well from the comforts of the couch. She takes a deep breath before trying to close the gap between them. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. It came out wrong. I don’t mean it like that. Of course you’re a big part of Kelley’s life and she’ll always consider your opinions and your words important.”

She takes Christen’s hand and carefully intertwines it with hers. “You just gotta take it slow, okay? Take it the right way. Talk about this with Kelley. Tell her what you think about her relationship with Em and know more about what she really feels about it. And if at the end of the day, despite everything, she still wants to be with Emily, just let her be. If Emily is the one who makes her happy, then just be a supportive best friend to her. Don’t let it tarnish how you see Kelley or affect how you treat her. I’m just worried about how this might reflect on your friendship. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to offend or hurt you.”

Christen remains quiet for a few heartbeats and Tobin begins to worry that she might have upset her girlfriend.

Christen looks down at their intertwined hands before looking back up to her. “Since when did you become…” She trails off. “this wise and full of wisdom? Where’s the real Tobin? What did you do to my girlfriend?” She kids, lightening up the ambiance in the room and cooling down the tension between them.

Tobin grins at her widely, relieved that Christen isn’t upset with what she said. “I’m just thinking, what if I were in Emily’s situation—wait, better imagine it this way. What if YOU were in Emily’s shoes and I am Kelley then you find out my best friend, Allie, is setting me up for someone else because she thinks you are not good enough for me? What do you think you’ll feel then?”

Christen doesn’t respond other than the evident crinkle on her forehead, showing her frustration and understanding of the situation she has almost created.

“Yup. That’s what my point is. And then imagine Kelley finding out you’re trying to hook her up with Nima, a dude, without telling her first? Won’t she feel betrayed?” Tobin adds, making her point more solid and logical and even harder for the tan girl to argue.

They fall in silence for some time until Christen breaks the lull. “Is that what Allie thinks of me?” Christen asks in a low voice, almost a whisper which almost doesn’t reach Tobin’s ears. Her head bending down to the ground. “Does she think you deserve more? Does she think I am not—”

“Hey, hey Chris. No, stop that. Stop overthinking. This isn’t about us, remember? We’re talking about Kelley and Emily.” Tobin cuts her off. She’s shaking her head to show Christen how she has taken it the wrong way. She brings a finger under Christen’s chin and carefully tilts her head up so she’s looking her in the eyes. “Babe, listen. That’s not at all the case for us. Allie doesn’t think like that about you.” Tobin gives her a reassuring smile and wraps her in a soothing hug.

Christen buries her face in Tobin’s neck, inhaling the distinct smell of orange body wash and detergent that’s uniquely very Tobin and letting it calm her nerves down. “I’m a bad friend.” She whispers against the warm skin under her lips.

“No, you’re not. You just want the best for Kelley and for her to be happy. That’s not bad.” Tobin’s running her hand up and down her back. “And even if you are, I’ll still be madly in love with you. You could be kicking babies and puppies in the face, the hell would I care. You’d still have me by the snap of your fingers. So don’t be sad.”

“Tobin! You know I could never!” Christen playfully pinches the side of her waist.

“Ow!” Tobin pretends to be hurt. “This is domestic violence! I’m calling my lawyer!”

Christen rolls her eyes at her girlfriend’s antics. “Hey babe?”

“Hmm?” Tobin only hums, too emerged in the feeling of Christen’s warmth against her body.

“I’d kill Allie.” Christen says flatly.

Tobin halts from rubbing her back and pushes her off softly. They lock eyes with each other. “Hey, I think I can tolerate the pinching and other minor marital violence but killing my best friend is a real deal breaker, Christen.”

This time it’s Christen who shakes her head in disagreement. “No, I’d kill her if she ever attempts to hook you up with someone else. She can’t even consider it or think about it.” The green-eyed girl warns jokingly.

Tobin doesn’t say a word nor the sternness on her face fades away. Instead she leans in and connects their lips, kissing her girlfriend deeply. Every bit of Christen’s concerns now forgotten.

“C’mon, let’s get to bed.” Tobin breaks the kiss first and tugs her hand to the hallway that leads to her room.

 

Christen holds on to Tobin tighter as they brave through the cold morning air. They’re walking the still empty sidewalks to their favorite café. She throws her head back, basking the early morning light and the sounds of birds chirping from the tree branches.

It’s only half passed six and other than a few bikers and joggers, the streets and the sidewalks are pretty much to themselves alone. Tobin squeezes her hand and brings it up to her lips, kissing each of her knuckles tenderly, sending heat and electricity all over her body.

“Babe…” She whines. It’s a small gesture even innocent but it’s doing things to her that are not safe for public discretion. Little goosebumps now slowly appearing along the length of her arms and neck.

Tobin smiles at her naively. “What?”

Christen grunts. “You know what it does to me.” She slows down her pace and looks at the brunette cautiously.

“What does it do to you?” Tobin continues to play oblivious to the effect she’s causing on the tan girl.

Christen bites down on her lip and grips on Tobin’s hand tighter. She squints her eyes before trudging fast and pulling the brunette behind her. She suddenly stops and makes a quick turn to a small corner space just a block away from their favorite café.

Christen doesn’t give Tobin the chance to inquire what she’s doing and where she’s leading them to, she turns around and faces her girlfriend and with one swift motion, backs her down against a wall.

“This, this is what it does to me.” She husks out then crushes her mouth into Tobin’s without so much of a preamble.

Tobin, surprised by the force, hits the back of her head against the wall with a thud. 

“Ow!” She cries out in pain but Christen immediately soothes the sting by caressing her hand through Tobin’s locks and sucking on her tongue aggressively. _It’s gonna swell._ Tobin swallows down her worry.

She nudges Tobin’s thighs apart and slots hers into the space between. She runs a hand down, aiming to feel Tobin’s core up over the thick fabric of Tobin’s joggers.

Tobin moans loud, echoing all over the small space they are currently in. “Chris, baby.” She grips on Christen’s hips that’s rhythmically rocking against her and applying more pressure on the hand that’s caressing her core. “I…I get it now. I—oh fuck!” She curses when Christen bites down on the exposed skin of her neck.

“Baby, we can’t…it’s too—Chris…” She feels Christen toys at the hem of her joggers. With every ounce of self-control and willpower left in Tobin’s body, she grips Christen’s hand and forces her to a stop.

Christen finally leaves her neck and looks up to her. “Thought you wanted to know what it does to me?” She asks devilishly.

Tobin can only nod frantically. “Yeah, yeah I get it now, okay? I get it but we can’t do it here. People can see us from the street.” She closes her eyes and swallows hard when Christen rocks her hips again and creates a friction against her core. “Chris…”

Christen finally takes pity on her girlfriend who was writhing underneath her. She untangles her hand from Tobin’s hair and takes a step back, creating a safe amount of distance between them.

Tobin opens her eyes only to see Christen smirking down at her. “You’re mean.” Tobin pouts despite her still heavy breathing.

Christen shrugs and turns her heels, pacing back to the main sidewalk and leaving Tobin behind. She glances back at Tobin who’s fixing her joggers and Nike sweatshirts and smoothing her messed up hair.

“Are you coming or what?” She calls out, a smirk still playing on her face.

“You almost made me!” Tobin fires back.

Christen throws her head backwards and falls in a fit of laughter over Tobin’s royal comeback. “Nice pun, baby. So nice.”

Tobin runs after her and intertwines their hands again. “I don’t think I’ll still be needing a cup of coffee. More like a gallon of ice cream to cool me down.” The brunette utters under her breath.

They reach their favorite café but just before Tobin can reach for the knob and open the glass door for them, Christen has suddenly changed her mind.

“Hey, babe.” She pulls Tobin’s hand and coaxes her to facing her.

Tobin cocks her head to the side and raises her brow in confusion. “Yup? What’s the matter?”

“Remember that small Japanese tea house I told you about?” Christen is looking at her expectantly.

Tobin knits her brows, trying to recall whether Christen has mentioned a tea house to her before. “Oh,” Her face lights up and her eyes widen in recognition. “Right, the place where you bumped into Nima one morning?” She inquires for confirmation.

Christen nods frantically like a child. “Yeah, yeah!”

“What about it? Do you wanna skip here and go there instead?” Tobin wants to confirm again despite having to somehow already read what’s in her mind.

Christen excitedly nods again, surpassing her frantic enthusiasm a while ago by a notch.  
“Yeah, I want you to try their cotton cheesecake. Oh my god, you’ll love it! It’s so good you won’t regret skipping our favorite café this morning!” She exclaims, not caring if other passerby overhears her.

Tobin hums while contemplating. She grunts and playfully rolls her eyes before speaking again. “It better be good Chris ‘cause I really love my regular coffee here.” She pretends to whine. “If it’s not as good as you say, you’ll never get to choose the places we’re dining in.” She adds with a harmless warning in her voice.

Christen fist pumps into the air and tugs her to the next corner. They hastily jogs the short distance to the Japanese tea house that’s standing at the far edge side of the block.

“We’re here!” The green-eyed girl announces to the semi-amused photographer she’s tugging behind.

They step inside and choose the table on the left side of the place, where there is a manmade water fountain and pond with a few still flowering water lilies floating in peace and tranquility.

They settle to their chosen table and squats down, sitting cross-legged just like the traditional way Japanese people dine or sit around while sipping a cup of tea.

“This is nice.” Tobin whispers, appreciating the calm and silence that’s enveloping the entire place (and for experiencing something new with Christen). There’s only quietness and the sound of the water flowing freely.

Christen gives herself a tap on the back. _Good job, Christen!_ She commends herself internally.

She makes a quick work of their order when the waitress comes over to their table. She asks for a pot of freshly brewed mint tea, a large piece of their cotton cheesecake, and a bowl of Japanese strawberry munchkins.

Tobin excuses herself later for the comfort room, telling Christen she hasn’t used the toilet since going to bed last night and that she thinks her bladder is seconds away from imploding if she fails to take care of its business the soonest possible.

Christen fishes her phone out from her jogger’s side pocket. She checks for messages. There’s one from Kelley whining about her headache when she woke up this morning. Another one from Nima thanking her for accommodating them last night. And a few official emails from the university and the community college.

She’s surprised when a platter is already served on their table. _Oh well, that’s what you call quick serving time._ She muses to herself.

But as she takes a better look of the food served to them, squinting her green orbs, she noticed there are unfamiliar small green cinnamon buns instead of the ones she has asked. She glances at a familiar looking girl who remains on her knees in front of their table. 

“Matcha green cinnamon rolls.” The girl utters as if it’s an enough explanation to clear Christen’s confusion.

Christen shakes her head. “Oh no, those are not our order.” She explains.

The girl smiles at her. “It’s free. It’s on the house actually.”

Christen’s brows furrow and cocks her head to the side. “Really? Complementary?”

“You don’t remember me?” It sounds more of a statement rather than a question.

The girl gives her a lip-tight smile. “Please take this as a token of my apology for spoiling your time the last time you were here with your boyfriend.” She bows her head in front of Christen. “I’m really sorry for what happened.”

Christen remembers her now. She’s the waitress she pulled the “boyfriend prank” on when she was in the tea house with Nima for the first time, about a week or so ago. She can’t remember fully well anymore.

Christen is chuckling internally. She readies herself to correct the waitress and apologize for making fun of her.

“Oh, yeah about that.” She starts. “Actually, he wasn't my—” She stops herself mid sentence. She remembers she’s with Tobin who might pop up any time and overhear and misinterpret their conversation.

She jumps off from her spot right away and drags the waitress to a much secure place from their table. She looks to her back just to make sure Tobin is nowhere to oversee them. When the coast is clear, they stop at the blind side in the counter area.

“What’s happening?” The waitress asks confusingly. “If you’re still upset over what happened last time you were here with your boyfriend, I’m really sorry. I lost on a bet to my coworkers and as a consequence they dared me to flirt with the first guy customer of the day. It just happened it was him. But I’m not really interested. I swear. Please don’t report this to my manager. I need this part time job.” She blabbers, leaving her heaving when she’s done talking.

Christen releases a deep breath she’s been holding in. “Are you done?”

The waitress sends her an apologetic look again and nods slowly, bowing her head to the floor later and biting the bottom of her lip.

“Great. Now listen to me. I wasn’t with my “boyfriend.” He’s just a friend.”

The waitress lifts her head up and stares at her skeptically. “You said he was.”

Christen shakes her head no. “Yeah, I said that but we were just fooling around. I was just making fun…of you. It was a prank we used to do in college. I was just pulling a prank on you. I didn’t know you’d take that seriously. I’m sorry. I know it’s mean and—”

“—and childish for your age.” The waitress cuts her off with a scoff at the end.

Christen chuckles and nods in agreement. “Yeah, totally childish.” She pauses for a while. “So I’m with someone right now. She’s using the comfort room when you appeared on our table. She’s my GIRLFRIEND.”

She puts an emphasis on the word, sending a clear message to the other woman. The waitress lets out an “Oh” in understanding.

“Yeah I’m gay.” Christen continues. “And totally not into dudes anymore. So please can we just forget about the prank and never mention it again? My girlfriend might know about it and misinterpret it for something else that it’s not.” Christen pleadingly tells the waitress.

She smiles at Christen sincerely. “Yeah, sure.” She mimics a zipper sealing her mouth shut.

 

They part ways later. Christen strides back to their table. She finds Tobin already seated back and being herself, starts fidgeting on her spot. All of their orders have been already served, too.

Tobin looks up to her. Her eyes widening and shining. “Hey where you’ve been to? I was starting to think you left without me.” She’s pouting in the way that makes Christen’s chest swell and giggle internally.

Christen squats down next to Tobin and bends over, planting a soft, tender kiss on her lips.

“I just had to thank the people over the counter for the complementary cinnamon rolls.” She cocks her head to the bowl of delights on the table. “ ‘cause the waitress serving doesn’t talk English.”

Tobin laughs at her and playfully pinches her cheek, before leaning in and kissing her. “You are so fucking cute.”

Christen spoons out a chunk of the cotton cheesecake and munches on it. “Yeah and so fucking hungry.”

Tobin gazes at her lovingly.

Christen, feeling Tobin’s eyes lock on her, looks at her questioningly. “What?”

“I’m just so in love with you is all, Chris.” She shrugs coolly before taking a bite of the cinnamon rolls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for finding time to read my work and for leaving feedbacks. I always look forward to each of them.


	19. Friends Do That

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while to update. I was traveling the past few weeks.
> 
> Also, this is a bit shorter than the previous chapters so apologies again.

Tobin cruises through the wide parking space outside Kling’s apartment building and parks her Jeep on the far right side, just a couple of slots away from the flocked of parked vehicles that have arrived much earlier. She assumes most of them are Kling’s guests too tonight.

 

She fishes out her phone from her jean pocket and squints her eyes from the light coming off the screen. A wide grin immediately stretches across her tan face as she sees a text from Christen waiting for her.

 

Christen Press: Have fun tonight babe and drive safely. Don’t get too drunk.

 

She taps the call icon on the far right corner of her phone screen, opting to calling her girlfriend through FaceTime instead of just sending back a message. 

Maybe she's just lazy but Tobin is not so fond of texting. In fact, if it isn’t Christen’s she leaves her messages unanswered, even unread and forgotten. It’s a habit she’s trying to change now that some of her clients at work text her for follow ups, details, and confirmations.

 

It only takes a few rings before a beaming Christen appears on the screen. She’s grinning wide and her face comes a little too close from the camera. 

 

“Hey babe,” Christen greets. She adjusts her hold of the phone and leans on the back of her swivel chair just enough though that Tobin can clearly see her from the other end.

 

A warm feeling spreads across Tobin’s chest from seeing her girlfriend for the first time after a day’s work both in the office and out in the field. She’s still balancing her time between her current job which requires a lot of field work the past months and setting up the new studio Allie and her are planning to open in a few weeks.

 

“I’m still bum you’re not going with me tonight,” Tobin adoringly pouts her lips and gives Christen her signature puppy eyes. “I miss you a lot.”

 

“Tobin,” shutting her eyes closed, Christen runs a hand through her dark hair and takes a deep breath, “ babe, I miss you, too. But you do know that I have to finish this draft so I can submit it to our head researcher before it’s due tomorrow morning, right? I can’t miss it.” She’s apologetically staring at Tobin. “I’ll make it up to you the rest of the weekend starting tomorrow, I promise.” Her voice now laced with guilt and promise. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“Chris, it’s fine. I wasn’t serious about it. Don’t take it too hard on yourself.” Tobin tries to assure and soothe the growing anxiety and guilt building at the back of Christen’s mind.

 

Christen’s brows furrow. “You don’t miss me?”

 

Tobin shakes her head furiously. “No, that’s not it. I mean, I wasn’t serious about, you know, you spending the night at the office and attending to your work instead of going to the party with me tonight. I completely understand your situation.” She rumbles out in one breathing. “And I miss you. So much. You have no idea.”

 

Christen bites her bottom lip and blushes. “I promise I’ll make it up to you this entire weekend. It’ll just be you and me. Unless, you have work plans or—”

 

“No, I don’t have.” Tobin cuts her off. “I made sure my weekends are free so I get to spend those days with you.”

 

Christen jerks up from her seat, clasping both her hands in surprise. “Really? So like no more weekend out-of-town shoots? No more unexpected, emergency calls? We can finally take a weekend off to Sedona?”

 

Christen doesn’t want to sound too jubilant nor hopeful yet desperate for Tobin’s time but they haven’t done anything out of their routine for a while. It would be nice to go on a trip together even just for two days.

 

Tobin laughs out loud and nods, her heart melting for the woman from the other line. 

 

“Yes, Chris. Anything you want, we’ll do it. Just say it and I—” 

 

A loud series of thud from her left side interrupts Tobin. A grinning Alex is pounding hard against her window. She’s muttering something that Tobin can hardly hear.

 

“It’s Alex. I think she’s threatening to bombing my car if I stay one more minute inside. I’ve been sitting around quite a while now in the parking lot.” She gives Christen an apologetic look.

 

“Alright, have fun but not THAT much fun, okay? And don’t drink too much. You’re driving home.” Christen reminds her once more.

 

Tobin nods in the affirmative. “Yes Ma’am! Yes!” She salutes to her girlfriend, like a soldier would do before a high ranking officer.

 

Tobin tries to ignore Alex’s pounding that has gone louder than it was a few seconds ago. 

 

“Good.” Christen playfully rolls her eyes. “And Tobin?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I love you.” Christen utters sincerely. Tobin can faintly hear Nima’s voice in the background. She can’t fully make up what he’s saying but it has something to do with Christen being completely cheesy and smitten.

 

“I’m sorry about Nima. He’s just jealous that I have an amazing girlfriend and he’s single and cold at nights.” Christen continues, shouting the latter words to her back so Nima can overhear her.

 

Tobin only scoffs and gives Christen a close-mouthed smile. “Ignore him and I love you, too, baby.”

 

It takes a few more I love you’s and I miss you’s before Christen finally sends her a flying kiss and they ended the call.

 

Tobin tucks her phone back to her pocket and climbs off the car. Alex is on the side waiting for her, her arms crossed over her chest. 

 

“You know it’s illegal to have phone sex in the parking lot, right? Do it somewhere else.”

 

Alex turns her back from Tobin and strides forward to the entrance of the apartment building, punching the code on the touchscreen monitor, but not before a small knowing smirk appears on her face.

 

Tobin rolls her eyes and catches up with Alex. “We’re not in Mars, Lex. I’m pretty sure there’s not a law close to that anywhere on Earth.” She playfully pokes Alex’s cheek which earns a shriek from the blue-eyed woman.

 

“Ew Tobin! Don’t touch me with those fingers! God knows where they’ve been to while you were in your car!” Alex shouts as she cringes while wiping her face furiously with the back of her hand. “In fact, they smell gross!”

 

Tobin laughs out loud, pushing Alex to the hallway of the lobby. They step inside the elevator door, their arms and shoulders lightly brushing against each other.

 

“4th right?” Tobin asks before punching the button. Alex nods in confirmation, facing the closed elevator door.

 

Tobin leans back against the metallic wall, eyes observing Alex before she drops her head down, a smirk now playing on her face. “Don’t pretend as if you don’t miss them, Lex.”

 

She brings her head up and pokes Alex’s cheek once more.

 

“Tobin!” Alex shoots her a death glare. “If you don’t stop making those jokes, they’ll come haunting us back one day, so stop.” She warns the brunette who’s somehow surprised by Alex’s sudden outburst.

 

“Yeah, yeah, my bad. I get it. Won’t happen again.” Tobin scratches the back of her neck and turns to her side so she’s facing the door, too, avoiding Alex’s intense gaze.

 

The elevator halts and opens on the fourth floor. Alex steps out first, Tobin following behind just a foot away.

 

Alex stops abruptly on her track and twists around to face Tobin, their fronts almost hitting each other. “I just don’t wanna risk anyone overhearing, okay.”

 

“I know. I’m sorry.” Tobin locks eyes with her. Suddenly it’s all that she can say under Alex’s fierce blue eyes.

 

Alex looks around and over her shoulders, before she whispers ever softly, “Did you tell her already? Does she know?”

 

Tobin bows her head, breaking their eye contact.

 

“Tobin?” Alex utters, persuading her to say something in return.

 

The brunette can only respond with a small shake of her head, while pocketing her hands in her jeans.

 

She hears Alex sigh deeply. Whether it’s a sigh of relief or frustration, Tobin can’t tell. Alex turns her back from Tobin and resumes to striding down the hallway that leads to Kling’s apartment door.

 

“Tobin? Are you coming or what?” She calls out to Tobin who remains anchored on her spot.

 

It somehow jolts Tobin out from spacing out and brings her back in the present. She scratches the back of her neck and grins widely.

 

“Yeah, wait up.” She half jogs the small distance to catch up with Alex.

 

Kling opens the door and welcomes each of them with a hug before leading them into her place. She ushers them to the living room which is now crowded by a few of their workmates and friends who are animatedly chatting and drinking.

 

They say their Hi’s and Hello’s and when everybody returns to their previous conversation, Alex grabs Tobin’s arm and drags her to the kitchen island where the bottles of liquor and platters of finger food are placed.

 

“Woah, thirsty?” Tobin teases as Alex starts pouring vodka into two pairs of shot glasses.

 

“Two for you, two for me.” She slides the shot glasses to Tobin’s direction which the brunette more than happily takes each with her hands. “Bottoms up!”

 

Tobin shakes her head and smiles. “Bottoms up it is!” She empties one in her left then the other in her right to her mouth and lets the familiar burning sensation cascade down her throat.

 

Alex talks about the shoot they have done over the week. She gushed about the hot female model who kept on asking her on a date but she would always politely decline.

 

“You said you found her hot, so why didn’t you give it a shot?” Tobin inquires, tilting her head to the side while observing Alex, for the second time tonight, who’s pouring another round of vodka.

 

Alex hands her a full shot glass. “I don’t know. I guess I’m not just ready for that again.” She shrugs nonchalantly. “Perhaps she’s too hot? She looks like she just wants a hook up? Maybe because she’s not you?” Alex sets down the now half empty vodka bottle on the kitchen island.

 

It takes Tobin a minute or so before voicing out what’s in her mind.

 

“Please tell me this isn’t because of…” Tobin trails, eyes sending silent messages to Alex.

 

Alex throws her head back laughing, knowing fully well what Tobin means. “Oh no, I was kidding! You think I was serious? Toby, don’t be silly. Of course, it’s not about you. Absolutely not!” Alex assures her, almost telling Tobin how silly it is of her to be thinking like that.

 

“I just don’t feel like putting myself out there too soon is all.” She continues, depositing the vodka into her mouth right after. “You think you’re that special, Miss Heath?” She challenges, a scoff escaping from her.

 

Tobin releases a sigh of relief. It’s been almost six months since she and Alex went to Vegas with Allie and Bati to celebrate Alex’s 25th birthday. She and Christen were on a break and Tobin was slowly swallowing in her emotions, in regret and self-loathe. She was starting to doubt if she had made the right call of asking some space from the green-eyed girl. So when Alex invited her to join them for the weekend, she didn’t hesitate a bit. She almost said yes immediately before her mind could change and she chickened out. She booked a round trip ticket to Vegas in the same flights with her friends and packed her stuff right away. She needed something to take her mind off everything. She needed a sort of escape from reality, from everything that’s overwhelming her and driving her insane.

 

Things started pretty innocent and decent though. They checked in to a hotel and opted to getting two rooms, one for Allie and Bati because obviously they were inseparable. The other one she and Alex had to share.

 

But it’s still Vegas after all. The city of sins. A couple of tequila bottles down and cheap rolls of weed and popping pills and then viola, Allie and Bati got matching colored Super Mario and Luigi tattoos permanently inked on their butts from a filthy ink parlor in a dark, secluded alley that Tobin couldn’t decipher for the love of God how they were able to locate in a city as wild as Vegas.

 

Meanwhile Tobin and Alex, both high and drunk, had grown impatient after only a minute or two of waiting for the tattoo artist to finish inking their friends. Perhaps it must be the sight of Bati’s white, pale ass sticking out in mid air and Allie preparing and checking hers in front of a full body length mirror, that made the pair leave the premises, hand in hand, unannounced without giving much of a look back and found refuge instead in a flashy chapel down the boulevard.

 

 

A firm series of taps on her back drags Tobin’s mind to the present. She turns her back from Alex and is met by an insanely good looking Ash, a bottle of beer on each of her hands, the other one extending to Tobin.

 

Tobin grabs the bottle and draws Ash into a tight hug, realizing she has missed her friend terribly although it has only been a few months since the last time she visited her in Tampa.

 

“Hey, I didn’t know you were coming tonight!” Tobin exclaims as she slowly untangles herself from Ash.

 

Ash cooly takes a swig of her beer before speaking. “I didn’t know you were a hugger, Tobito.” She teases the brunette whose face scrunches in disgust upon hearing the nickname she detests so much.

 

“Don’t call me with that ugly name. You're ruining this fine night." Tobin warns, pointing the tip of the beer to Ash's direction to make it seem more serious.

 

Ash throws her hands up and laughs. “Okay, okay. Cool, bro. How much have you been drinking?”

 

Remembering Alex, Tobin looks back at her who’s now sitting quietly on a stool while bopping her head to the beat of the song playing in the background. She groggily moves behind the blue-eyed girl and wraps her arm around her shoulder, the spirit of vodka now slowly creeping in her system.

 

“Hey Ash, you remember Alex, right?” Tobin inquires, cocking her head to the side and resting it a little at the top of Alex’s.

 

Ash’s eyes narrow at the sight unfolding before her and nods. “How can I forget? Hi Alex.” She politely greets.

 

Alex waves her hand in recognition and smiles. “Hi Ash. How you been?” She holds on Tobin’s hand that’s dangling over her shoulder and intertwines their fingers mindlessly.

 

“Great.” Ash coldly replies. She looks away from Tobin and Alex and drinks her beer empty. She puts the bottle down on the granite surface. “Where’s Christen?” She’s staring blankly, hasn’t taken her eyes back to the two.

 

Tobin empties her own bottle, flinching a bit at the coldness of the beer and the sudden change of taste in her throat. “She can’t make it here. She’s in the office, finishing a draft for their new research.” Tobin simply replies, setting the empty bottle next to Ash’s.

 

Alex sensing Ash’s indifference and knowing that Tobin and her friend have a lot of catching up to do and maybe feeling a little out of place too, excuses herself. Reasoning something about finding Kling and trying the Panama joint she owes her from a bet.

 

As soon as Alex has her back on them, Ash gets a grip of Tobin’s arm and drags her out to the balcony, making sure she shuts the large glass door closed behind them so they can have privacy while they talk.

 

“What the fuck, dude!” Tobin protests under Ash’s hold but she’s too strong for the brunette to be able to wiggle herself out from her grip. Tobin is thankful though that everyone seems has had enough alcohol in their system to even bother and notice them. 

 

“Yeah, what the fuck was that, dude!” Ash echoes her previous statement, a disappointed look plastered all over her perfect and pretty face.

 

“What, what?” Tobin is confused as to what has made her friend so upset with her.

 

Ash shakes her head and locks eyes with Tobin. “Don’t act like you don’t know. What was that with Alex in there?” She lowers her voice, careful not to be overheard by anybody and cause a scene. “I thought it was a mistake? You said it yourself!”

 

“God, we weren’t doing anything wrong.” Tobin spits back defensively. “What, I can’t drink now with a friend?”

 

“You know very well that after all that had happened, you two aren’t just friends anymore.” Ash points out, her face growing a slight shade darker than a minute ago. “Tobin, you’ll never be “just friends” again.” Ash makes an air quote for emphasis. 

“Do you think you could just pull that stunt in Vegas for the weekend and expect things to return to normal once you're home? That's impossible. That's not gonna happen. Things won't get back the way they used to between you and her. And you two looked way too fucking cozy from across the room, may I also add that by the way. I had to sprint in front of you before anything stupid happens." The shorthaired brunette ends, her chest a bit heaving from her rant.

 

Tobin takes a deep breath and releases a loud exhale while running a hand through her shiny, brown, hair. 

“First, aren't you also cozy with Allie sometimes? Friends do that. Second, we're only friends. Always has been and that’s all we are to the eyes of the people here. That’s all we are to each other. Nothing more. Third, what happened was meaningless for both of us. We've made sure it has been taken cared of and agreed to leave it all in the past and go on with our lives like nothing happened.” Tobin states like she has practiced and mastered the excuses several times before. "So, dude, will you chill?" 

 

"Chill? Friends don't--- Allie and I have no history. Everything is platonic. Unlike you and Alex, we didn't--" Ash stops herself and grips the back of her neck instead, frustrated at how careless Tobin is handling the situation she has put herself in. “Dude, you don’t get it, do you, huh?” Her patience thinning by the minute that passes. 

 

“Get what?” Tobin asks confusingly. The wheels in her head are starting to roll but she still can’t quite come up with anything.

 

Ash shakes her head and motions back to the sliding glass door. “Figure it out yourself. I’m done telling you shits you never follow.”

 

“Come on, dude. Where are you going?” Tobin tries to follow her friend but stops mid-step, deciding it is better to let Ash go rather than risk catching everybody's attention to the two of them.

 

Ash opens the door and steps in. “Gonna find Ali. It’s getting pretty late.”

 

“Ali’s here?” Shock spreads across Tobin’s face at the mention of Ash’s girlfriend.

 

“Yeah and she doesn’t wanna talk to you. It’s better if you stay from her. She’s not as patient as I am with you.” 

Ash takes a step inside but pauses halfway through, looking back at her flustered friend. "And I'm chill, Tobin, 'cause it isn't as if it's my relationship that's on the line here. Yours, not mine. So good luck with that and yeah, chill." Her voice is deep and cutting with a hint of a warning and concern. 

With that Ash retreats to Kling’s apartment and pushes the door close, leaving a confused and cold Tobin, alone in the balcony while replaying in her mind the scene that has just transpired a while ago.

 

Tobin doesn’t know how long she’s been standing there, lost in her drunk thoughts. All she knows is that her head is now a little fuzzy and that her fingers are cold from staying too long outside. She’s just as about to retreat back to the confines of the warmth of Kling’s living room when the sliding glass door squeaks open and a familiar raspy voice break the silence of her aloneness.

 

“Tobin? Are you there?” A pair of sloppy dark blue eyes comes in searching for a pair of golden brown orbs. 

"Yeah, over here." Tobin invites. 

 

 

Christen parks across the street of the nearest coffee shop she can find on her way to Tobin’s apartment building from the community college where she stayed for the night. She eagerly climbs off her car and crosses the still empty street. She's had a long night before. She was tasked to finish the first draft of the community college's joint research with a well-known university. Although Nima was there to give her assistance if ever she needed clarifications and proofreading, it was still tiring and exhausting on her end to say the least. But the thought of waking up her girlfriend in bed and surprising her replenishes and excites Christen's worn out body. Maybe they can even be intimate later in bed or in the shower if Tobin's up to it or if she doesn't have hangover since Tobin is such a lightweight. 

Just thinking about it already turns Christen on in broad daylight. The space between her thighs already dripping wet. Her lips pursed supresssing a lustful moan that's threatening to escape. _Fuck, Christen! Control yourself!_ She internally scolds herself.

She lifts her head up, basking the heat of the sun and somewhat thankful to the heavens above that it isn’t too busy yet. It's only five past six in the morning. There are only a couple of joggers and dog owners walking their pets crowding the streets. 

She breathes in that distinct smell of morning air. She loves the stillness and peace in the morning, the cold yet warming breeze against her face, the faint chirping of the birds, and the smell of fresh brewed coffee from the rows of coffee shops along the sidewalk.

Feeling guilty for “ditching” Tobin from last night’s party at Kling’s, she thought of making up to her girlfriend and stopping by to her place with breakfast in tow in her hands.

 _Tobin’s gonna love this surprise._ Christen utters to herself, oblivious to what's in store for the rest of the morning ahead of her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks y'all for reading and leaving kudos and comments. I wanna know what you think or expect more. So if you got ideas or reactions just leave a comment:)


	20. I Saw Tobin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to merge parts 1 and 2 to avoid confusion on the chapter numbering and inconvenience.

PART I

Christen slides the wide glass door of the café open. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes in satisfaction, already enjoying the aroma of fresh brewed coffee as soon as she steps foot inside and it hits her nose.

 

She hasn’t been there before but the ambiance and atmosphere of the place are surprisingly comforting enough that it almost feels familiar. It’s a small place and nothing really fancy or trendy unlike the many coffee shops she has been around the city. There are only a few French chairs and varieties of delicate European styled tables. The interior is accentuated with live, blooming flowers of different colors growing in brown pots. Several orchids hanging low from the ceiling above and on some wooden posts, too. Swinging in sync in the air when gusts of breeze come rushing through the wide open French windows that are providing cool ventilation to the interior.

 

Christen’s face stretches into a coy smile. She has a strong hunch she’ll frequent the coffee shop with Tobin in tow in the foreseeable future.

 

She scans the vicinity and wonders whether the emptiness of the café is due to the fact that she’s just super early or, fortunate enough as she hopes, she has found a place near Tobin’s that only a few knows about and hasn’t yet been exploited and mobbed by people with whom she shares the same caffeine addiction in the early hours of mornings.

 

It’s not that it’s a necessity though. She seldom visits Tobin’s place because the brunette prefers they stay at hers, and to be honest, she agrees with it wholeheartedly, too. It’s more convenient for her. She doesn’t have to bother driving or remind herself time in time to tuck her papers and other work stuff in her bag just in case something at work comes up and requires her to check on them. Besides, her place has always been their little love nest right from the very start. In fact, it’s not just hers anymore. It’s theirs. Hers and Tobin’s.

 

She moves forward to the take-out counter, grateful that there isn’t a long queue of people she has to endure. She smiles at the petite, blonde barista who has been smiling at her direction the moment she has set foot inside.

 

“Hello, good morning. Welcome to Morning Brew. What can I get for you?” The blonde asks, her smile bright as the morning sun outside.

 

“Oh hey, hi, good morning, too.” Christen greets back. “May I have two cups of cappu—” She stops mid-sentence, her green eyes caught by the fancy and neat handwriting on the board plastered above the wall. “Actually, can you tell me what your bestseller is?” She squints her eyes to get a better look of the menu.

 

“Yeah, sure. For our coffee, our regular customers go crazy for our roasted mocha latte.” 

 

Christen only hums short in response. She won’t deny a little disappointment. She was expecting something more and complicated to imagine, like a lot of combinations of different names. She remembers one time back in college, Kelley brought her to a trendy café outside campus. 

Feeling a little spontaneous and adventurous, which was never expected from her because people who have known her could swear to their lives that Christen Annemarie Press was the most over-thinker person alive and didn't trust any coffee flavor other than cappuccino, she ordered for the least selling coffee in the house. Not even caring or minding for its name .

 

Kelley herself was shocked and theatrically bowed down in front of Christen to commend such defiance to an old motto to which she had based most of her life decisions, “It’s better to be safe than sorry.”

 

When Christen got her order after twenty minutes of waiting on a table at the back porch and listening to Kelley blabber about how she met what she thought was the most beautiful piece of shit in the whole world in that very café, Christen was surprised and almost rendered dumbfounded when she heard a twenty-ish looking brunette waiter say, “Enjoy your hot double shot rum vanilla cappuccino, ma’am.” He gave Christen an im-sorry-but-this-is-what-you-wanted-suck-it look, then left them in a haste as if afraid they would summon him to demand for the coffee to be taken back and locked up in a dungeon to keep humanity safe from an eminent danger.

 

Her hot double shot rum vanilla cappuccino tasted just as disgusting in her mouth as it sounded in her ears.

 

An unfamiliar hoarse voice snaps her out of her reverie. “I know it sounds plain and nothing fancy like you would expect from café houses these days but I guarantee you’ll love it. You have my word.” The girl continues, noticing Christen’s lack of response as much as enthusiasm.

 

Christen nods affirmatively. “I’ll hold you to that.” Christen tilts her head and squats just enough so she can take a look at the varieties of pastries inside the glass counter. She licks her bottom lip at the sight in front of her, different sweet delicacies in various and vibrant colors all looking tempting and mouthwatering. Christen finds it hard to choose over this wide selection. If only there’s a way she may have all of them.

 

Her eyes land on one of Tobin’s favorites. Her lips curl into a smile thinking how the treats will surely make her girlfriend’s day. Tobin will even somersault at the first bite of them she bets.

 

Christen straightens up, meeting the barista eye-to-eye over the counter once again.

 

She clasps her hands and jerks a little, a feeling of excitement now rushing through her veins.

 

“Okay then. I’ll have two cups of roasted mocha latte and…” She trails. “Two pieces of butterscotch and one honey glazed cinnamon bun, please.”

 

The barista repeats her order for confirmation. “Two roasted mocha latte, two pieces butterscotch, and one honey glazed cinnamon bun for—”

 

“Oh it’s Christen.” She supplies.

 

“...for Ms. Christen. Is that all?” The blonde over the glass counter continues, just checking if there’s anything else she wants.

 

Christen gives her a lip tight smile and nods. “That will be all.” She takes out her card and hands it over. 

 

The blonde swipes her card and punches a few digits in the card reader before returning it to Christen. “Your order will be served in ten minutes. I’ll be right back.” She turns around and moves to the stack of take-out cups, commencing whatever ritual it has to be done to get her coffee ready.

 

 _Make it fast, please._ Christen silently pleads.

 

She shifts and leans her side against the glass counter. She bops her head to the beat of the RnB playing in the background. Her eyes lock on a familiar silhouette sitting at a two-seater French table on the right most part, sipping from her own cup while her other hand is scrolling through her phone.

 

Christen is thinking how she didn’t notice her first when she walked in.

 

Christen can’t be mistaken. She knows damn too well those broad shoulders and high cheekbones and long, curvy eyelashes. Only one person can possibly possess all of them.

 

The sun peaking through the wide window glass brushes on the woman’s skin, making her glow from afar like a goddess described in Greek mythology.

 

“Ali?” Christen calls out softly, finally realizing she has to say something before anybody starts to suspect her as some creepy weirdo gawking at the woman.

 

She doesn’t get a response though. The woman’s entire attention is on her phone, unbothered and unaware of her surroundings.

 

“Ali is that you?” She calls again, now a little louder than her first try.

 

The woman looks to her side, her brows knit in confusion and a bit of annoyance from the unwelcomed distraction. Her face, however, lights up bright and her cheeks stretch in a toothed smile once she has recognized Christen.

 

“Christen!” She shouts, finally acknowledging the presence of the dark haired girl. She pushes herself up from her seat and pads toward her.

 

Christen does the same and meets her friend halfway. They welcome each other with a tight hug and squeeze.

 

“I’ve missed you. It’s been a while since we last saw each other.” Christen looses her embrace and leans back, now facing her friend.

 

“I know it’s been forever. Life was crazy in Florida.” They let go from their hug, creating a comfortable space between them but not losing grip on each other’s arms.

 

“What are you doing here?” Christen inquires, cocking her head to the side.

 

It was over a year ago when Ali decided to move to Tampa with Ash. Both of them had received work opportunities. Ash was offered by a high school soccer team to be part of their coaching staff. Meanwhile, Ali had a marketing position for a tech company waiting for her.

 

Christen can’t think of any reason as to why her friend is sipping her coffee alone in a semi-secluded café, thousands of miles away from her current residence. Well, other than it’s only a five minute walk away from Allie and Bati’s and maybe around a ten minute drive from Tobin’s.

 

Ali shifts and pulls her toward the table. “Not happy to see me, Press?” Ali jokes which earns a chuckle from Christen.

 

“I’m staying at Allie’s. I just went for a quick run and then saw this cute place on my way back. I thought a cup of coffee would be nice to start the day.”

 

 _Yup, at Allie’s._ She’s patting her back in her mind for almost guessing it right.

 

“Are you alone? What are you doing there?”

 

They both take a seat from across each other. Ali shakes her head no.

 

“Of course, Ash is with me. We’re staying at Allie and Bati’s while we’re fixing things. She has to be somewhere else this early. So here I am, alone and loving my “me time.” It’s not as if I often to get to enjoy this kind of luxury now that Ash and I are living together. That woman is attached to my hip night and day.” Ali takes a sip from her cup, giggling at her own joke.

 

But Christen doesn’t get the joke. She's never good at recognizing when a person is making one. All she registers is she might have disturbed Ali from her time alone.

 

“I’m sorry to interrupt.” Christen sincerely apologizes. “For intruding here.” She apologizes. "I didn't know you didn't want company. I can leave---" 

 

Ali bursts out into laughter, cutting her off. “Oh Press, always the worrier. Always the over-thinker. Don’t be silly. I don’t mind at all! I’m glad to see you!”

 

Christen sighs deeply in relief. She honestly thought she has upset Ali by getting her attention and interrupting her.

 

“Umm…you said you and Ash are fixing things, what things? It’s okay if it’s something you don’t wanna share.” Christen asks when she has regained her composure and once Ali has recovered from her laughing spree.

 

Ali looks at her incredulously. She settles her cup down before speaking. “You didn’t know?”

 

“Know what?” Now she’s curious. She tries to dig from the layers of information filed in her mind, thinking she just might have forgotten such detail about her friends, but she can’t remember any that she has heard or learned recently.

 

“Ash and I are moving back in the city!” Ali is now grinning from ear to ear. “I thought you would’ve heard it from Tobin.”

 

“No, she didn’t mention about it.” _Or did she and I just didn’t hear it ‘cause I was spacing out. Nope, she didn’t. Tobin must have forgotten from all the things she’s been juggling in her hands._

 

“Ash got a massive coaching offer from a new soccer club, an NWSL club! I don’t remember all the details though but it’s huge. When I heard about it for the first time I just could tell it’s what she’s dreamed of ever since. She was glowing while telling me. I knew right then I had to encourage her to grab the offer. I couldn’t let her pass such opportunity. I knew she had second thoughts. She didn’t want me to leave my job in Tampa but she left her life here when it was me who needed support and somebody to rely on. Now it’s my time to return the favor and be that badass supporting bitch, you know.” Ali shares eagerly, her chest heaving from spitting it all out in one breathing.

 

“Besides, I’ve been missing this city. This is my home, our home. Where our families and you guys are.” She smiles warmly at Christen. “Our stunt in Florida is over. This is where we belong. Where we’re supposed to be.” She finishes. Her eyes bouncing in excitement and happiness.

 

Christen reaches for her friend’s hand and squeezes it tightly. “Oh my god, that’s big, Al. I’m happy for both of you!” She squeals.

 

She admires Ali and Ash’s commitment and dedication for each other. They have been together for over six, long, challenging years and despite the longevity of their relationship, one would think the fire between them must start to slowly fizzle like what usually happens to old couples but it doesn’t. It just keeps growing stronger and fiercer. They remain a power couple and that is, for Christen, admirable.

 

It’s something she wishes to achieve with Tobin. It’s not that they are not as committed and dedicated nor they are growing apart. Of course, she can confidently say on behalf of Tobin, they love each other. Of course there’s an ever burning fire between them. But their relationship still feels like a puzzle that has missing parts that are yet to be found. It’s not perfect at the moment but she knows it’s getting there. It’s not complete but they’re willing to find those missing pieces together through thick or thin. It’s like a delicate masterpiece waiting to be perfected.

 

Ali squeezes her hand back, cutting off her line of thoughts. “Thanks, Chris. Now so much about me. I wanna know about you. Fill me in.” Her voice a pitch lower than Christen remembers seconds ago.

 

“I’m good. A lot busier from work but nothing I can’t handle. It’s tough but I love it.” She replies proudly. It’s true though. She may be complaining unceasingly about the complexities of her work and how it takes a lot of her energy and time, both for herself and for Tobin, but she knows at the back of her mind she loves it and there’s nothing else in the world she would want to be exhausted over than what she’s professionally glued to right now.

 

“That’s nice to hear. I’m glad you’re happy with your work. Not all can say the same.” Ali pauses for a moment and squeezes her hand tighter.

 

It takes a few heartbeats before she speaks up again, carefully, like she’s balancing on a thin, treacherous line.

 

“I saw Tobin at Kling’s party last night. I didn’t see you.” She matter-of-factly states.

 

“Yeah, I was at the college, finishing the first draft for our joint research study with the university that was due this morning.” She shares proudly, high spirited over the satisfying feeling of how academically inclined her job sounds like. And hearing such thing from her own mouth, nonetheless.

 

Ali slowly lets go of their linked hands and takes her cup to her mouth, only nodding a few times in response.

 

“She arrived with Alex.” Ali whispers almost inaudibly. “Tobin and Alex came in at the party together.” She sets her coffee down and starts playing at the rim of the cup with her index finger.

 

“Oh yeah, she was pestering Tobin at the parking lot when we were FaceTiming.” Christen chuckles. “You know her, too? Isn’t she something else? I like her.” Christen isn’t sure if for a brief moment, Ali flashes her an incredulous look or it’s something else she has imagined.

 

“You friends?” Ali spits out quickly.

 

Whether it was a bite in Ali’s tone or shock, Christen can’t tell.

 

_Or is it both?_

 

“Not really. I only met her once? But she seemed nice and fun.” Ali halts her finger and takes a sip of her coffee again, gripping the cup with her now trembling hand. She looks conflicted and unsure of something.

 

“Ash talked to them.” Ali refrains from answering her question.

 

“Oh, I wished I was there, too. I miss Pooky.”

 

Ali falls silent, deep in her own thoughts. Not even smiling at the mention of her girlfriend’s nickname.

 

It’s hard not to notice the sudden shift of mood and tension building around them.

 

 _She doesn’t like Alex, does she? Fuck what if she doesn’t? I already told her I find Alex fun and nice. Now Ali might think I’m taking Alex’s side against her. She’s gonna hate me, too! What the fuck stop thinking, Christen! Stop!_ She immediately shakes the ugly thoughts off, not wanting to give in to her habit of making up baseless speculations and entertaining awful meanings behind things.

 

 _So much for always overthinking, Christen. For all you know they’re good._ She internally scolds herself.

 

Christen is looking down at her hand but she can feel Ali’s gaze, as if measuring and sizing the green-eyed woman up from across the table. As if searching for something.

 

“What? Is there something wrong with my face? Is there something in it?” Christen wipes her chin and her cheekbones with the back of her hand frantically.

 

“It would be awful to look ugly around you.” She tries to divert their conversation, hoping that it works and she doesn’t completely ruin this unexpected reunion. On her defense, she wasn’t the one who brought Alex up into the conversation. Ali did.

 

Ali shakes her head no and smirks. “Nothing. Your face is perfect.” She finally unroots her stare from Christen and chews on her lip. She releases a sigh as if she’s shaking herself off her thoughts.

 

“Are you seeing her today?” She murmurs. Her brown eyes not meeting Christen’s pair of green anymore. “I mean Tobin. Not Alex. Are you gonna meet with Tobin today?” She rattles out.

 

The air between them remains thick against Christen’s skin and she wishes it will just fade away.

 

She wills herself to ignore whatever it is she’s feeling and focuses on the question thrown at her instead.

 

“Yeah, I’m actually coming over to her place. I just thought of grabbing something for breakfast. She might be hungover and needs something to fill her stomach. You know how lightweight she is. And you also very well know how she can never take care of herself. I’m dating a baby.” She tries to lighten up whatever uneasiness there is in the ambiance.

 

She looks behind to the still unoccupied counter, checking whether the barista has gone back with her coffee and pastries. Her nose crunches realizing the delay of her order.

 

She takes her phone out and checks the time. It’s almost thirty passed six.

 

“Oh I’m sorry, am I keeping you? If you have to go it’s okay.” Ali rambles again, worry laces through her voice.

 

Christen waves her concern off. “Not at all. It seems the barista is taking some delicate time with my coffee anyway. I heard it’s quite a handful.” She smirks.

 

“Really? What did you get?” Ali tilts her head to the side out of curiosity, the tension in the air now slowly dissipating.

 

Christen chuckles before spilling. “It’s roasted mocha latte.”

 

Ali’s eyes grow big. “What the hell is that, Press? I’ve never heard of that before!” Ali blurts out, a small hint of smile threatening to break across her face as she shakes her head and tries to maintain a serious facial reaction, playing along with her.

 

Relief washes over Christen. She’s managed to gain back her friend’s playful mood.

 

“Honestly? I don’t know what kind of trouble I got myself into. I just said I wanted the house bestseller. I had absolutely zero idea it would be THAT complicated.” She throws her hands up in the air exaggeratedly. “ROASTED.MOCHA.LATTE. Whoever thought of that must be out of his mind!”

 

Ali, stretching her cheeks in a full blown grin, joins her into a fit of chuckles. 

 

 _See? It’s all in your head._ She mentally takes note.

 

They talk animatedly about Kelley, Christen filling Ali in about their friend’s recent crazy ideas and stunts and just everything the freckled girl does that’s just uniquely and troublingly Kelley. All these without Ali ever mentioning Alex’s name again nor asking things about Christen and Tobin’s relationship.

 

“Sometimes I forget she’s a doctor!” Ali shouts in the middle of a belly-aching laugh.

 

“Until now I still don’t believe she’s a doctor! She’s a five year old trapped in a horny woman’s body!” Christen has to squeeze her stomach in, her lungs running out of air from too much laughing.

 

“Gross!” They both squeak.

 

She knows it’s bad to talk behind a friend’s back especially laugh behind them but it’s hard not to when it comes to Kelley and her recent crazy drunken mishaps and how a patrolling security personnel almost caught her and Emily doing dirty stuff inside the doctors quarters during her graveyard shift at the community hospital.

 

A few minutes later, they hear the bell at the counter ring.

 

“Roasted mocha latte, two butterscotch, and a honey glazed cinnamon bun for Ms. Christen.” The barista calls out.

 

Their laughter dies down almost immediately. Both women realizing it’s time for Christen to leave.

 

“That’s my cue.” Christen sends Ali an apologetic look. She feels sorry for cutting their mini reunion short. She hopes they can catch up more senselessly but she has to go before the coffee gets cold and Tobin dies of hunger.

 

They both push themselves up off their seats and draw each other into a warm, meaningful hug, this time a little much longer than the first one. Savoring the feeling of seeing a friend after such a long time and then having to leave each other again, although just for the mean time.

 

“See you around.” They untangle from each other, both offering the other a toothed smile.

 

“Yeah see you around now that you’re back in town.” She playfully winks and starts padding backwards to the take-out counter where her order awaits her.

 

“And send my warm hugs and kisses to Ash. Tell her I miss her.” She adds as she grabs her coffee cups and a brown bag full of sweet goodies.

 

Ali shoots her a thumbs up, an assurance that Christen’s message will surely reach her girlfriend.

 

Christen turns her back and heads to the door. She doesn’t see how Ali’s face becomes sullen as she observes her retreating form approaching the exit of the café.

 

She doesn’t hear when Ali utters under her breath, “Things are so fucked up.”

 

When Christen stepped foot inside the café, she was already feeling buoyant, elated both from the fact that she did meet her deadline and the thought of spending the weekend with Tobin. What was unexpected, however, was walking out from it a couple of minutes later with a bigger grin on her face and with much more vigor for the day.

 

 _Now off to your lover, Queen Press!_ She cheerfully kids to herself as she crosses to the other side of the street where she parked her car.

 

Christen has to rapidly blink her eyes several times and scratch her eyes with the back of her free hand just to be certain that the scene lying in front of her is real and not a fragment of some bullshit imagination. She can’t form words. Nothing will come out of her mouth. Her jaw remains loosely hanging from shock. She’s not sure anymore where to put the coffee and the brown bag down she’s balancing in her hand. When she imagined her meeting with Tobin this morning, she had different things in mind.

 

“Guys, did you forget something or wha—fuck Chris umm shit…fuck!” Her favorite hoarse voice rattles nervously in panic.

 

She glares at her girlfriend who’s anchored at the end of the hallway, shellshocked from her unannounced presence and unexpected visit.

 

“Or what!”

 

“Tobin, what the fuck is this?” She blurts out when the brunette remains speechless and immobile.

 

Tobin swallows hard. “Chris, I can explain.” She strides to Christen’s direction, finally finding the courage to drag her feet forward and face Christen’s wrath.

 

“Calm down, please.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PART II

"Calm down, please." 

Tobin moves closer to Christen, only stopping when they are only a foot or so apart. The dark haired woman is boring her eyes in hers waiting for a reasonable explanation.

 

“Can I just…let me help you with these.” Tobin being always thoughtful, takes the brown paper bag from her hand.

 

“Explain. I’m waiting.” Christen demands, not falling for Tobin’s act of chivalry.

 

Tobin scratches the back of her neck and takes a dragging look of her living room’s current condition. Her grip on the brown paper bag tightens as she tries to come up with anything she can say to help her with her case.

 

“Tobin.” Christen calls her, a warning in her tone.

 

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” She sets the paper bag at the top of what seems to be a messy pile of various garments placed on top of the coffee table.

 

Christen can’t help think about the couple of times they had sex on that same coffee table.

 

Christen shakes the untimely thoughts off her mind. _Really Christen? This view makes you think about sex? Are you for real?_

 

“You brought coffee.” Tobin eyes the cups in Christen’s other hand.

 

Christen doesn’t give as much of a response as a nod. She hands a cup to the brunette who gladly takes it with a shy smile and mouthed, “Thanks.”

 

“Can we at least take a seat? My head aches a bit.” Christen almost takes pity on her but not until she gets a valid reason for all these.

 

“I’m sorry it’s a little messy.” She grabs the brown paper bag and heads to the hallway.

 

Christen chuckles mockingly. “Messy? It looks like all hell breaks loose here! Did you get drunk a lot last night? Were you in drugs? Tobin, we’ve talked about it before. Did you do this?” Hundreds of scenarios come flashing in Christen’s mind.

 

She doesn’t approve of illegal drug consumption even something as organic as a blunt. Sure she has had some back in high school and college. She’ll never deny that she’s tried before. Who hasn’t? No one would ever believe her anyway if she did.

 

However, when Yoga came in to her life, it changed so many things and views in her life. Drug tolerance being one of the many. Yoga was an important factor why she stopped using even though she was only an occasional user and did not frequent. She learned to take care of her health more –mentally, physically, and spiritually.

 

For her, regular use of narcotics creates imbalance and chaos to one’s overall whole being. Christen also thinks as an educator she must set as a good role model to the youth.

 

She doesn’t judge those who find comfort and solace and happiness from drugs, though. She doesn’t extend her beliefs and views to influence other people. Except if the one involved is Tobin. She’s not trying to be controlling or anything but as a couple, she thinks they have to be on the same page on that particular matter. Tobin agreed with her and promised to avoid anything that would put her into a situation where she couldn’t reject the temptation or say no to it.

 

Christen scans their surroundings once more. Tobin’s living room including her kitchen are in total chaos. There are scattered articles of clothing on the floor. Some of them hanging on the couch that was pushed to the far most side of the wall. There are even a few shirts and jeans over the book shelf at the corner. Different magazines (from sports to fashion to business), large brown boxes (some of which are pizzas’) and Chinese food takeouts toppled on the floor, have crowded the apartment as well. No one in their right minds would be able to do this overnight, and no one in their right minds would let this happen to their home.

 

But Christen has failed to notice are the enormous monopods, portable canvases, white backdrops, different boxes of makeups and paint bottles and brushes, a lot of sports apparels and weird costumes that fill the apartment as well.

 

Tobin stops in the middle of the hallway and peeps over her shoulder when she has realized Christen remains rooted in her spot.

 

“Chris, baby, come here. This way. I’ll tell you everything in bed.” She cocks her head to her bedroom.

 

Christen sends her a look of disbelief. “Really? In your bed? You think I have the drive right now to lay in bed with you?”

 

Tobin throws her head back laughing, almost dropping the cup and paper bag in her hand.

 

“No, I promise it’s not that…I won’t…I just wanna be sitting when I explain things to you. And as you can see, both my living room and kitchen are not conducive for that.”

 

“And we both know your room, your bed in particular, isn’t conducive for that, too, or for any activity that has nothing to do with us leading to having sex.” Christen spits it out in return.

 

This earns another chuckle from the brunette. “Fair point. I like how your mind works, babe. I’ll make sure to cater that thought later when I’m done explaining things. Also, do you wanna know the whole story or not?” Tobin raises her brows and tilts her head.

 

Tobin then turns around and pads to her bedroom. “You’re welcome when you’re ready to join. And oh—” Tobin stops from her track and looks back. “Thanks for the treats.” She shows the stuff in her hand and winks before completely leaving Christen behind.

 

Christen, out of lack of choice and relentless curiosity, follows right after. She will get to the bottom behind all of these mess.

 

The last time she was at Tobin’s apartment was when she bought a modern type, minimalist painting from one of the college students’ open exhibit. She thought Tobin would like it. So she paid for the piece and drove to her girlfriend’s hastily, eager to hand her simple gift in tow.

 

It was over a few weeks ago. She didn’t have the time to revisit. She was tied in her work. Besides, Tobin prefers they spend at her’s.

 

Now everything is unrecognizable from that day.

 

She enters Tobin’s room and is welcomed by that familiar scent of citrus and ocean coming from Tobin’s cologne, and the smell of coffee.

 

“Babe, these are really good.” Tobin’s sitting on the edge of her bed, munching one of the butterscotch from the paper bag.

 

Christen cringes at the sight of the coffee that is, in Tobin’s true exhibit of carelessness, placed on her bedsheets.

 

“That will stain your sheets.” She snatches the cup up. “Now, would you mind to start talking?”

 

Tobin pads the space beside her. “C’mere.” She invites in her sweetest voice.

 

Christen rolls her eyes yet complies anyway. She scoots over to Tobin’s side and lifts her legs up so she’s sitting crossed legged on the bed facing Tobin.

 

“What happened out there?” She calmly asks now that she’s recovered from her initial shock. She hands the coffee back to Tobin who smiles at her despite chewing a mouthful of pastry.

 

Tobin takes a long sip of the coffee to drain the remaining crumbs down her throat.

 

“You know the studio, our studio, isn’t finished yet, right?” Tobin starts.

 

Christen silently nods, giving Tobin all the time in the world to explain.

 

“A few months back, a client approached us, asking if we could cover for their company’s annual journal issue. It’s not that big, just an issue for each 10 branches they have in the states and Asia. But it pays great and it’s a good starting project. Nothing too fancy and grand, just corporate.

 

So anyway, I was convinced that the studio would be operational by the time we had to start shooting the project so I persuaded Allie to accept the offer. She said no but I was persistent and insistent. I loved the challenge. I wanted to start off and commence the business right away. The thought of it all thrilled me. Clouded my reasoning. Eventually, after massive lobbying, Allie gave in and signed the contract.”

 

Tobin pauses for several heartbeats and releases a deep breath. “I didn’t think it would take more than four months to finish that damn studio. The contractor said it would only be delayed for a week, then it became a month and now I don’t know if it’s still ever going to be completed.” Frustration is now spilling in her raspy voice.

 

“I thought we still had a month before we had to begin the shoot but the contractor said it was impossible and suggested it would be wise if we look for a temporary working office, for the mean time being. But, we didn’t have much funds left. A big chunk of it had been cashed to the studio expenses. I was losing hope until Allie said we could try their place. It lit a bulb in my head. I started this mess. I am the one accountable for everything. I should be taking all the fall back and the responsibility of fixing things, not Allie. So I offered my apartment instead.”

 

Christen couldn’t be prouder of Tobin at this moment even if she wanted to. She has matured, now taking responsibilities of her shortcomings. She knew from the start that there’s a deeper side behind Tobin’s carefree, YOLO, live-life-to-the-fullest attitude.

 

“You know I’m proud of you, right?” Christen gives her a tender kiss, her anger a while ago has now totally dissipated.

 

They smile against the kiss, noses brushing each other. 

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Christen leans back, giving them enough space to look each other in the eyes.

 

“I didn’t want to bother you with my problem. There’s already so much stress you’re dealing with your own work. I didn’t wanna add to the things you have to worry about. I didn’t, I don’t wanna be a burden.” Tobin bites her lip and drops her gaze.

 

Christen puts a reassuring hand on Tobin’s thigh and puts a finger under her chin, tilting it up so they’re eye-level again. 

 

“Tobin, I’m your girlfriend. That’s what I’m here for. That’s what I am. To be your support, strength, and partner not only when things are great but when things are bad, too. Especially when they’re bad. You’re not a burden. Never. Please don’t feel like that. Glitches happen when you’re starting a business. It doesn’t make you weak, inefficient. It makes you learn. It teaches you lessons.”

 

Tobin sends her a lip-tight smile. “I’m sorry I kept this from you. I guess I just didn’t want you to know that I fucked up on my first project. I was too proud to let you know I’m a failure.”

 

Christen feels her heart crushed. Like someone drops a boulder on it or hammered it relentlessly.

 

“Oh my god, Tobin you didn’t. You are not a failure, okay? Look, you owned up to your mistake. You found a way to solve the problem. You went as far as sacrificing your own privacy and comfort to fix things. That’s so brave and mature. Don’t be so hard on yourself, babe.” Christen caresses Tobin’s cheek with her free hand in an attempt to make the other girl feel safe and assured that she has someone to count on.

 

Whether it works, Christen can’t tell. Tobin remains serious and a glint of moisture slowly starts to form on each corners of her eyes. “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that. Seriously, what am I without you?”

 

Christen’s heart swells in pure love. The boulder that crushed it, has been pulled out and thrown away. These are the rare moments when Tobin’s vulnerability makes an appearance. It’s when she locks herself up from any other exterior forces, except for one person, Christen. Tobin lets her in. She gives Christen the chance to mend her from the inside.

 

Not everyone gets to see this version of Tobin. And it makes Christen feel important, privileged, entrusted with something precious and fragile.

 

“We would never know ‘cause I’m never leaving you. I’ll always be here.” She truthfully tells the brunette.

 

“You’re still angry?” Tobin asks softly.

 

Christen shakes her head and brings their lips together for a brief moment. “Not anymore.”

 

“Good, ‘cause I’ve been dying to do this ever since last night.”

 

Tobin crashes their lips. She’s aggressive and demanding. Christen can taste the faint bitter taste of the coffee and sugar from the pastry. Tobin’s hot tongue grows demanding, swiping through Christen’s lips asking for a passage but Christen tilts her head up instead. Their lips disconnecting. The sudden shift, however, does not discourage Tobin. With the new angle, she’s perfectly given access to Christen’s exposed neck.

 

Christen releases an unintentional grunt when Tobin sucks and licks on her pulse point.

 

“Tobin baby…Tobs…” Christen half whines, half moans. “The coffee…it’s gonna spill all over us.”

 

This somehow catches Tobin’s attention. She detaches herself from Christen and snatches the cups, carelessly putting them right away by the foot of the bed.

 

“There, no more distractions. Shall I continue?” There’s no trace of playfulness in her face and in her wide brown eyes. Just sincerity and love and hope that Christen grants her request.

 

Christen pushes herself up from the bed and stares down at the brunette. Tobin’s face falls in disappointment and a little concern that Christen might be saying no to her. That never happened before, if her memory serves her right. This may be the first time and it makes the knots in her stomach twist in a bad way.

 

Worry is eating up Tobin inside until she sees what Christen does next, has intended to do. She crosses her arms over her torso and lifts her shirt up, tugging it off and dropping it on the floor while maintaining eye contact with Tobin. The dark haired woman steps closer, slotting her body between Tobin’s spread legs.

 

Tobin swallows hard watching her girlfriend almost half naked. They have done this hundreds of times, even more, but she still gets the same effect from the first time she saw Christen strip down in front of her.

 

Christen takes both of her hands and guides them around to the back of her chest. Tobin understanding what Christen wants, expertly unclasps the hook of the bra and tugs the traps off from her shoulders until it falls on the floor.

 

Tobin breaks eye contact and gawks at Christen’s breasts. They are round and firm and perked up. Her nipples semi-erect from the cold air coming from the room vents. Tobin brings her hand up and cups both breasts eagerly, feeling up the soft and warm skin under her palms. She feels Christen’s back arches from the sensation. When she looks up, her eyes meet a pair of afire green orbs staring down at her. She swipes her thumbs across the nipples, urging the two buds to react and erect fully.

 

Christen bites her lip and releases a guttural groan. She rests her hands on Tobin’s shoulder, seeking for a much needed physical support. Tobin’s touches are draining the strength off of her knees.

 

Tobin, encouraged by the sound Christen makes, tweaks the two peaks, all while never breaking eye contact with Christen. She pinches and tugs and pulls and twists, each ministration sending Christen in frenzy.

 

She drops a hand and wraps it around Christen’s thigh, scooting her up so the other girl can settle on top of her and straddle her lap.

 

Christen begins grinding down on her, thrusting her groin against Tobin to seek more pressure, more friction, and attention to the throbbing nerve between her legs. Tobin bends down her head, capturing a nipple in her mouth. She feasts, alternating from one breast to the other. She sucks and licks and tugs between her teeth, pushing Christen between the thin line that separates pain and pleasure.

 

Christen throws her head back, eyes shut closed, mouth agape, moans escaping as her hands find Tobin’s hair and pulls her in as if she could get any closer.

 

Tobin’s hand skims under the hem of her shirt until it finds its intended destination. She expertly unbuttons Christen’s jeans and pulls the zipper down. Her long, firm, skilled fingers descends under Christen’s thong and discovers Christen’s aching bundle of nerves that has been waiting forever for a much needed attention.

 

“Baby you’re so wet.”

 

Feeling how aroused Christen is turns Tobin on even more. She can feel her own folds dampening from lust and desire and anticipation.

 

She begins to circle around it, putting just enough pressure to drive Christen insane.

 

“Fuck!” Christen moans, her hips thrusting and meeting Tobin’s touch.

 

“God! Tobin! Baby it feels so good! Keep going!”

 

So going is what Tobin do.

 

“Yeah baby, you liking it, huh?” Tobin tugs a nipple between her teeth, urging Christen more.

 

The deep grunts and frantic humping of Christen against her fingers are enough for her to know that her girlfriend is in frenzy.

 

Christen can feel her legs start to tremble, her vaginal walls contract, her clit enlarging even bigger as she’s close to her orgasm.

 

The door eventfully slams open and bangs agains the wall, revealing an unsuspecting, oblivious Mal in her black eyeglasses, Portland Thorns beanie, a rolled up white backdrop tucked in her arm, and a pair of wide brown eyes and jaw hanging open in shock.

 

“Shit!” Christen curses.

 

She bolts off of Tobin and turns her back, hastily covering her bare chest with her hands. 

 

Tobin jerks up as well. “Mal what the fuck get out!” She orders. She runs a hand through her muffled hair in an attempt to fix her look.

 

“Shit I’m sorry I didn’t know…okay I’m leaving now. I didn’t see anything.” Mal runs back to the hallway like her life depended on it.

 

Tobin steps closer to Christen who’s furiously gathering her clothing off the floor.

 

She puts her bra and shirt back on and pulls up her zipper in record time. Not risking any chance of somebody breaking in again in the room and seeing her half naked.

 

“Chris, I’m sorry.” Tobin softly grabs Christen by the shoulder, urging her to turn around but the younger girl stiffens and refuses to face her.

 

“I did not like that at all. That was embarrassing. Oh Poor Mal. She's like what? Twelve?" She hisses. “Is that a thing now whenever we’re in your place? Getting caught? Interrupted?"

 

To say Christen is pissed would be an understatement. She’s livid, infuriated. The demons in her ready to devour any soul that dares to come near her. Not just she’s embarrassed that they got caught in the middle of pleasuring each other and Mal’s eyes witnessing her private parts. She’s also unbelievably sexually frustrated at the moment. Mal barged in uninvitedly interrupting them when she was so close to reaching climax and getting off. She feels like she’s gonna implode.

 

“Mal is eighteen. I can't have a twelve year old working on part time job for me, babe." Tobin giggles.

 

"She's old enough. Bet she’s seen and done worse. She’ll live.” 

 

She wraps Christen in a hug from behind. “I’m sorry. They are so used to having the entire apartment almost all to themselves most of the time. They forget to knock sometimes.” 

 

Tobin kisses the top of her shoulder. She runs her hands up and down along Christen’s shoulders and arms. The simple gesture somehow relaxes her and releases the tension in her body.

 

"I promise that won't happen again. I hate audience as much as you do." Tobin makes a light joke.

 

“How long have you been using this as your studio?” Christen breathes out, trying her best not to snap out at Tobin again for not regarding the situation seriously.

 

Tobin hums against her skin, thinking deeply. “Four weeks? Running five?”

 

“How much long do you have to wait for the studio to be operational?” She digs more.

 

“I don’t know. Like another month or sooner than that hopefully. It all depends on that incompetent contractor we hired.” Tobin gives a rant of her own but for a totally different reason.

 

It’s Christen this time who hums, deep in her thoughts. “Do they just casually march in your room? Your team?”

 

Tobin shakes her head no. “Not all of them. Just Allie and Kling and sometimes Alex when she’s around. When things are crazy in the living room and we’re working all night, they crash to my bed to rest. Sometimes eat or whatever. Other than them, there’s no one else. I don’t even know what Mal needed here when she walked in on us.”

 

“The models stay out?” Christen can’t help the tinge of jealousy seeping through her tone.

 

Tobin smirks. “Yup, I keep them out 'cause I usually do them in the laundry room or in the kitch—” Christen’s elbow hits her in the stomach. “Ow I was kidding! Babe you know I was kidding, right!” Tobin winces at the hard contact.

 

“Not funny!” Christen locks eyes with her.

 

“Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t make such bad joke again.” Tobin rubs the part of her side that’s been hit by the blow.

 

“God, since when did you learn UFC?” Tobin tries to be cheeky again but is only met by Christen’s hard expression.

 

They fall in an eerie silence. Tobin does not make any more attempt to be funny and pretends to be still minding the small tinge of pain under her ribs instead, while Christen is deep in her ocean of thoughts.

 

A couple of heartbeats have passed until Christen breaks the lull.

 

“Tobin.” Her voice is low and sharp.

 

Tobin looks up, their eyes holding each other’s gaze.

 

“Babe?” Her hoarse voice rolling the word over her tongue.

 

Christen clears her throat. “Move in with me.”

 

Her eyes digging into Tobin’s. Finality and confidence lace her tone.

 

“I uhh…what?” Shock rains down on Tobin. She needs to hear it one more time just to be sure she heard it the first time right.

 

“I said…” Christen trails. “Move in with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, comments, comments!


	21. Brown Envelope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Update. Chapter 21.
> 
> If anyone's confused, I deleted Part II of Ch20 and merged it to Part I.

Tobin and Christen have easily adjusted to a domestic routine. Tobin comes home much earlier than Christen who has to work extra hours in her research. For the two weeks they have started living together again, it has become a silent agreement that Tobin does grocery shopping. It first started on their third day. Christen asked if she could possibly drop by the grocery store and get some stuff for the cordon blue. Since then it has become Tobin’s task. She goes to the grocery twice in a week, making sure she’s got everything on the list, however, always failing. Tobin just being herself, always forgets one or two stuff all the time although she swears she’s got everything on the list checked twice.

 

Tobin also helps split the work force of preparing dinner. Sometimes she takes the chicken or the beef out from the freezer or cut the vegetables and fruits first, setting everything ready before Christen arrives and cooks their dinner.

She was never a great cook. In fact, she finds all kinds of household chores an impossible task in her own hands. But Tobin has never complained about her cooking before, putting Christen off from any form of pressure. She eats whatever dish she cooks for her. Sometimes when she really finds it good in her palate, she steals more food from Christen's plate and gives little compliments to boost Christen's confidence. 

 

At nights Tobin sends emails and edits photos while she waits for Christen to shut her own laptop and scoot over to her side on the bed. They talk a little and make out a lot and make love until they exhaust themselves and drift off to sleep. Christen loves to be the little spoon, basking the heat coming off of Tobin who wraps her in a warm hug from behind.

 

In the mornings they share the shower which is the primary reason they always arrive late at work. It has gotten out of hand that it came to a point where Tobin received a letter from their Human Resources office reminding her of the importance of punctuality at work.

 

“Tobin, baby…fuck!” Christen moans looking down at Tobin who’s kneeling religiously between her thighs and looking up to her, two pairs of eyes coated with passion and desire never leaving each other.

 

Christen has a leg swung over Tobin’s muscled shoulder, the other planted on the bathroom floor for support. The air is cold against their burning skins and their moans weave through the noise of the cascading warm water from the shower. 

She runs her fingers through the brunette’s wet locks, pulling her girlfriend closer to her throbbing and aching clit. She swallows hard, amused by the sight that's taking place right before her. If Christen is to be asked about the best view she has ever seen in her life, she would tell in a heartbeat that it’s her girlfriend’s face and mouth buried in her core, her soft and hot tongue twirling around her bundle of joy and lapping out her juices.

 

Everything between them is simple and easy and smooth and running perfect. Eat, work, sex, sleep, repeat. It’s the perfect domestic routine that they have created in their own little world. 

 

For the past few days, they also find themselves skipping social gatherings, even simple dinner invitations from friends, opting to a peaceful night at home instead. So far no parties, no backyard barbecue dinners, no football game nights. They are content staying at home alone with each other. 

 

Kelley has called her out over this when she declined a night out invitation for the fourth time, throwing her research as a valid excuse for bailing out on her friend again. She hasn’t told her friends yet about Tobin moving in with her, especially Kelley. There will be a proper and right timing for that. She just hopes they don’t figure it out themselves before she informs them.

 

“Wait what? You’re cohabiting again?” Kelley exclaims in a mouthful of takeout spicy chicken Asian rice. Some grains unsophisticatedly spurting out of her mouth, making Christen internally cringe.

 

She has finally taken pity on her friend and said yes to an afternoon of comfort food, bad CBS tv show, moscato, and catch ups. 

 

Christen scoffs at the choice of word. _Cohabiting._ She takes a long sip off from her wine glass. “Yeah, I kinda asked her.”

 

Kelley looks at her skeptically. “Kinda, what is kinda?”

 

It’s not supposed to be there but Christen can sense the slightest objection and disapproval in her tone.

 

“Okay, fine, I told her to move in with me.” She picks up the Chinese box off her lap and puts it on the coffee table. “She can’t be living in her apartment under that condition.” She explains further, suddenly the food doesn’t look so appealing anymore.

 

“Huh! What do you mean? She’s Tobin. She doesn’t care. For god’s sake she doesn’t even probably noticed any slight change in her place. No offense Chris but your girlfriend is the most oblivious person I’ve ever met…and the most disorganized one, may I add that as well.” Kelley scoffs matter-of-factly, somewhat satisfied by her quick remark.

 

She sends Kelley a flying throw pillow which her friend easily catches before it hits her face.

 

“Why are you so mean to her? Ugh If you had only seen half of what I saw in that dungeon. You’d wonder how people who “work” there on a daily basis able to survive such chaos without losing sanity. I’m telling you it’s worse than Target’s storage.” Not that she has seen one in real life, though. She’s just making a comparison purely based on her friends stories about Target.

 

And Kelley isn’t entirely wrong though for that matter. It’s true. Tobin probably doesn’t mind the litters and the chaos and the disorganization and the shambles that her apartment has turned into. If she does, she would have long abandoned her place and would have sought an immediate refuge at Christen’s. But still it doesn’t put Christen’s mind into ease. Tobin might not mind but she does. She wouldn’t have a second of peace of mind knowing her girlfriend is living under that wretched state.

 

“Plus, it’s probably best for my own sanity, you know. I wouldn’t be able to live a day knowing Tobin sleeps there.” She adds.

 

She hears her friend chuckle. “Maybe you’re just worried about Tobin letting those hot models “sleep” in her place.”

 

 _Seriously, is she not only a doctor but a mind reader, too?_ But the more pressing question is, is that what bother her? Is that the reason behind the gnawing feeling in her stomach every time she thinks about people, she doesn’t know, just walking in and out of Tobin’s room?

 

“Ha. Ha. Ha. Funny Kel. Know what, why not retire early as a doctor and be a comedian instead. You’re pretty better on that field.” She takes a cheeky jab at her friend.

 

“Hey, laughter is the best medicine. I’m still doing my job while making fun of other people. I’m hitting two birds with one stone, Press.” Kelley argues back, she’s raising her brows up and down.

 

“It’s not even as if we haven’t done this before.” She rolls her eyes, now a deeper and more serious tone in her voice.

 

Kelley scoffs. “Yeah but remember what happened the first time?”

 

She remembers. Remembers it too well. But Christen doesn’t really understand what happened, what went wrong and how it started. Tobin moved in with her. They were happy. Everything was fine until one day Tobin became a little reserved which turned distant and cold later on.

 

And then one night, she just found herself crying alone in bed, Tobin’s voice kept echoing in her mind, torturing her and crushing every bone in her body.

_I think we should take some time apart._

 

Christen’s stomach twists remembering that night a couple of months ago.

 

“Do you really have to? Tobin and I have both agreed we’ve moved passed that phase in our relationship.” She feels like she has to defend Tobin; defend her decision; defend their relationship from judgments even it’s coming from her own best friend. She knows Kelley means no harm. She knows the freckled girl only worries for her sake but there’s nothing really to worry about. It’s Tobin. She won’t intentionally hurt Christen or anyone.

 

“Okay, I’m sorry. I just don’t want you getting—”

 

“She won’t Kel. Don’t worry. She won’t hurt me.” She says with finality, hoping Kelley gets the hint that she’s no way enjoying where their conversation is heading to. And Kelley gets the hint ‘cause she drops the topic off right away and doesn’t bring it up anymore, not even when Julie and Lys arrive later and join them.

 

The remainder of their afternoon is spent binge watching season two of Outlander.

 

They argue with Kelley’s weird infatuation for Randall and her questionable hate for Jaime. They also discuss the possibilities of time travel or the lack of it.

 

“What would you do if you travelled back in time against your will?” Lys’ geekiness showing up.

 

“I don’t know. Lose my mind? Die of boredom? Write a note for the people in my time, which will be the future?” Julie taking the question seriously.

 

Kelley chugs straight from the wine bottle. “Fuck, I would never know ‘cause I’m never taking my ass anywhere near those freaky standing rock formations! And probably never gonna step foot in Scotland.”

 

They all laugh at Kelley’s wit.

 

“Chris? How about you?” Lys inquires, all eyes land on Christen. “What’re you gonna do if you “accidentally” time travelled to the 17th century without any means of going back to your own time?”

 

The question is too easy. She doesn’t even have to think more than a second.

 

“Spend my lifetime trying to find a fine lass who’s name is Tobin.” She shrugs and grins behind her glass of moscato wine, waiting for her friends’ exaggerated reactions.

 

And they don’t disappoint her. Everybody squeaks and pretends to be gagging. Julie throws her a pillow for being so “gross.”

 

“Whipped! So whipped! She can’t keep her mind in a conversation without dragging Tobin’s name in it.” Kelley playfully complains.

 

“Speaking of the devil…” She trails for a while, trying to muster up the courage to spill the beans or the can of worms to her other two friends. “She moved in to my place. We’re living together again.”

 

There’s a long pause of silence until Julie chuckles and rolls her eyes dramatically.

 

“What?” Christen asks confusingly.

 

“Chris, I live just a floor before yours. Do you think I don’t see that stud coming in at nights and going out in the mornings suspiciously? Everyday for like two weeks now? I once greeted her one morning and she was like a deer caught in headlights!” 

 

Christen sighs, relieved. “Oh.”

 

“Yeah, and the fact that you’re always late and have asked to move or cancel some of your morning classes several times, gave you a way!” She’s raising her brows playfully. “The morning sex must be really great, huh!”

 

Christen can’t help the blush that’s spreading fast across her cheeks down to her neck like a wild fire.

 

“You little sex monkeys!” Kelley flings a pillow to her direction, hitting Christen hard on the face.

 

She tells them how the move is only temporary while Tobin’s place is still under “siege” and that the brunette will have to eventually move out once their studio opens and all the chaos from her apartment have been taken out; in which no one believes her.

 

“So it’s not permanent?” Lys inquires after a long lull surrounds them.

 

Christen nods, taking another sip of her wine and bottoming it up. _Fourth and last glass._ She makes a mental note of her alcohol in take.

 

“I don’t think that’s possible. Seeing how you two barely leave your place and are attached at the hip? I don’t think either of you will survive a day without the other.” Julie gives her two cents of the matter.

 

Kelley and Lys nodding in agreement.

 

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens when we cross the bridge.” She shrugs off but Julie’s words didn’t go completely ignored because a couple of minutes have gone by, they still linger and occupy Christen’s head.

 

Christen eventually bids goodbye to her friends, reasoning that she has to be home early because Tobin and her have agreed to host dinner with Ash and Ali to welcome their friends back in the city.

 

“Thanks, I had fun. I’ll see you guys next time…mmkay?” She half shuts over her shoulder, particularly to Kelley who’s still mumbling something about Christen leaving early because she’s horny and just wants to have sex with Tobin.

 

“You shouldn’t have reminded her about their morning sex. See, now she’s sprinting back to their sex dungeon!” She hears Kelley whine one more time before she takes a step out of the apartment, a wide grin plastered on her face as she leaves.

 

_Maybe sex before dinner isn’t that bad of an idea. _She smirks to herself.__

__

__

She finds Tobin in the kitchen, dirty blonde hair in a messy bun, a red apron wrapped around her waist, one hand is holding a wooden spatula while the other has a lazy grip on the pan handle. 

__

__

She’s singing along to the song playing in the background. Her raspy and sometimes off-key voice echoing in the entire room.

__

_____So you still thinking of me,_  
_Just like I know you should,_  
_I cannot give you everything,_  
_You know I wish I could,_  
_I’m so high at the moment,_  
_I’m so caught up in this,_  
_Yeah we’re just young, dumb, and broke,_  
_But we still got love to give,_  
_While we’re young, dumb,_  
_Young, young, dumb, and broke,_  
_Young, dumb, young, young, dumb, and broke,_  
_Young, dumb, young, young, dumb, and broke…_

__

__Christen stands by and watches for a minute, appreciating Tobin’s movements and her (lack of) singing ability from several feet away, silently chuckling when Tobin misses another note and goes off pitch. She’s not that good of a singer either but Tobin is just way worse than her in that department._ _

__

__It must be the alcohol from the wine or the sight of Tobin looking happy and content, doing domestic chore in their shared apartment though only temporary, that makes her own heart full and beat fast like it’s going to pump out of her chest but in a good and satisfying way. It doesn’t freak her out though, doesn’t make her overthink and worry for the worst. Instead it calms her despite the overwhelming feeling._ _

__

__It must be because her girlfriend is waiting for her to come home after a day spent with friends. It must be because she can see Tobin’s golden smile and soft swaying of her hips and thinking this amazing person is all hers. Tobin is hers. And she is Tobin’s._ _

__

__And in that moment, she knows nothing can go wrong or can take away this kind of happiness from them. She will never allow anything that goes in their way. She’s certain more than ever that Tobin and her are gonna brace storms together. That neither of them, no matter what the hurdles are in the future, will ever quit and give up on this. They can pass through whatever heartaches and pain there is that awaits them. They will remain in tact and deeply in love with each other and nothing can change that._ _

And in that moment, in the middle of her apartment, Christen knows one thing and she's never been this certain in her life. _I'm ready. When she asks me again, I'm going to say yes this time._

__When the song ends and her legs start to cramp from standing straight for too long, she decides to finally approach the oblivious girl._ _

__

__She tiptoes behind Tobin carefully, making sure her presence doesn’t get noticed right away. She snakes her arms around her girlfriend’s athletic built, wanting to feel her warmth and take in the citrusy scent of her shampoo and body wash._ _

__

__Tobin jerks, surprised by the sudden and unexpected contact from an unknown entity._ _

__

__“Shit! What the fuck!” She tries to squirm and spin around to face the culprit but Christen manages to tighten her arms around her, rendering Tobin in her position._ _

__

__“Hey babe, chill. It’s just me.” She rests her chin on the top of her girlfriend’s shoulder and tries to sneak a peak of what’s smoking in the pan._ _

__

__Tobin relaxes as soon as she hears Christen and leans back putting her weight on Christen, relieved that it’s only her girlfriend and not some psycho breaking in to their apartment._ _

__

__“Chris, you almost gave me a heart attack!”_ _

__

__“Mmm…that smells good.” Christen shortly sniffs, totally ignoring her in favor of the appetizing aroma that’s filling the room and tickling her nose._ _

__

__“Really? I haven’t done pasta for a while so don’t get your expectations high. I’m kinda worried my skills in the kitchen aren’t as impressive like they used to.” Tobin rambles, feeling the slight urge to explain herself to Christen ahead just in case the pasta doesn’t turn as good as she hopes it to be._ _

__

__Christen smiles and hums against Tobin’s shirt. “Speaking of skills in the kitchen, is it done already? I kinda have something in mind I wanna do before our guests arrive.” She squeezes her waist and bites down on Tobin’s shoulder a little rough._ _

__

__Tobin grunts, both in protest and arousal. She knows exactly what Christen is up to. Her body already knows how to react with those light yet meaningful touches. “Babe, we can’t they’ll be here in like thirty.”_ _

__

__Christen pushes herself off and steps back, making sure her thuds are loud enough for Tobin to sense her disappointment._ _

__

__She pouts her lips and crosses her arms over her chest. “You are no fun.”_ _

__

__Tobin only chuckles and turns around so they are now face-to-face. Christen’s green eyes are dilated and her cheeks are a little flushed but she still looks god damn so pretty with the late-afternoon sunlight coming through the window glass brushing against her tan skin._ _

__

__“How many bottles of wine have you had? I told Kelley you couldn’t have that many ‘cause you’d be driving alone.”_ _

__

__Christen rolls her eyes and reaches a hand to Tobin. She plays a finger on her chest meaningfully, making invisible patterns and not giving up on her attempt to seduce the brunette._ _

__

__“Shhh…babe I only had four glasses. I don’t have to be drunk to feel horny and want to fuck you in the kitchen. You know I always wanna fuck you, in the kitchen, on the couch, in the shower, in the car. I always wanna feel your mouth.”_ _

__

__Tobin swallows hard and steps closer to her, now a little turn on as well by the way Christen is talking dirty to her._ _

__

_Get your shit together Tobin. Now is not the right time for sex!_ She internally scolds herself when she almost gives in to Christen’s temptation. ,

__

__“Any other time, I would’ve taken you right here, right now or to all of those places you’ve mentioned but we have guests arriving any minute now.” She takes Christens’s hand off of her and stops it from doing more provocative actions._ _

__

__“How about you take a quick shower first so you can sober up a little, then dress up while I finish this? I know you don’t want to be underdressed around Ali.” She kisses the back of Christen’s hand lovingly while holding eye contact._ _

__

__Christen closes her eyes, relishing the soft and warm lips pressed against her skin. She takes a deep breath in defeat, finally letting logic and Tobin’s words sink in._ _

__

__“Fine, but don’t you want me to help?” Christen looks over Tobin’s shoulder then to the kitchen island and around the room. Surprisingly, Tobin doesn’t make a mess. Everything is neat and clean and in the right place other than the chopping board and half empty bottle of flavored beer on the granite surface._ _

__

__She suddenly feels guilty for staying out that long and leaving Tobin alone knowing they have guests for the night._ _

__

__“I’m sorry you had to do all the stuff by yourself. I didn’t mean to lose track of time. We were catching up on so many things that I didn’t realize I was already out that long. But I can be a help now. Just tell me what else needs—”_ _

__

__Tobin shushes her blabbering with her long bony finger._ _

__

__“Hey babe, it’s fine. I’ve got everything covered, okay? The salad is ready in the fridge. The chicken is in the oven, perfectly marinated and seasoned the way I know Ash and Ali like it. It should be done in fifteen minutes or so. And I bought great red wine as well, merlot your favorite. I also got chocolate mouse for dessert from this modest pastry house on my way back from the grocery. All you have to do is nothing but look even prettier tonight.” She plants a soft, lingering kiss on Christen, tasting the sweet and fruity taste of moscato on her lips._ _

__

__Tobin softly pulls back, creating a space between them so she’s looking Christen in the eyes again. “Did you have fun with the girls?”_ _

__

__Christen nods and hums. “Yeah, it’s nice to be around them again.”_ _

__

__“I’m glad you had a great time with your friends. That’s all I care.”_ _

__

__“Thank you but now I wanna do something else. I missed you and you deserve a reward for all of these.” Christen grips Tobin’s waist and pulls her closer. Tobin instinctively finds the back of Christen’s head, unable to deny her girlfriend anymore. Their lips meet hungrily. Christen pulls her in and takes a few clumsy steps back until the back of her waist hits the table behind her. Meanwhile, Tobin’s other hand mindlessly drops the spatula, not caring anymore if it leaves stains on the floor._ _

__

__Their tongues dance in a soothing familiar rhythm, hot and eager hands feeling up delicate parts. They both moan and say I love you’s against each other’s mouth, realizing how much they have really missed each other after a long day apart. The kiss lasted longer and becomes heated than Tobin intends it to be._ _

__

__When Tobin’s hand finds the space between Christen’s thighs, she expertly caresses her through the jeans of her Old Navy short pants. The green-eyed girl starts grinding impatiently against her hand and moans louder._ _

__

__“Tobin, baby, more. I’m so wet for you.”_ _

__

__The guttural sound snaps Tobin out and she has suddenly realized she has to break them off before everything escalates further and goes out of control._ _

__

__Christen growls in dissatisfaction when Tobin pulls her hand out and holds her by the shoulders, instead of taking care of the growing ache in her core._ _

__

__“God you drive me crazy. What am I going to do with you?” She whispers out of breath._ _

__

__“Fuck me? Please?” Christen utters with heaving chest, desperately trying her luck once more._ _

__

__Tobin pushes herself off and shakes her head decisively this time. “Come on don’t make this hard for both of us. Trust me, you don’t wanna smell like sex around those two.”_ _

__

__Then she walks back to the stove, turning her back from Christen._ _

__

__“Fine, I’m gonna leave and shower but you owe me one rough kitchen sex, Heath!” Christen whines and half jogs to the hallway, finally leaving Tobin to finish the dinner preparation. “On the table, against the fridge, on top of the island, rough sex anywhere I want!” She shouts over her shoulder as she continues her descend to the bedroom._ _

__

__“I’m not complaining, in fact I would gladly comply.” Tobin yells back while washing her hands then carefully putting the lid on the pan and lowering the fire so the pasta can just simmer a bit more._ _

__

__“So I guess for the meantime I just have to take care of myself with the shower stick then. But you may come and join us though if you ever change your mind. I won’t judge.” Christen teases one last time, standing at the mouth of their bedroom door._ _

__

_God help me._ Tobin silently prays under her breath. 

__

__

__Tobin pours her glass more wine. It’s her second in thirty minutes. She already had one full before their visitors arrived at their apartment. She badly needs liquid courage if she’s going to survive the night._ _

__

__She knows it was her idea to invite the couple over but she’s kind of starting to regret that decision right now. Maybe it was a bad idea but Ash and Ali are one of her most loyal friends and have proven they can be trusted and have always had her back through the years. She shakes her head. She shouldn’t be this anxious and paranoid. Ash and Ali know their place and won’t tell on her, hopefully._ _

__

__Despite that, there’s still an unsettling feeling boiling at the pit of her stomach that she can’t shake off as they all take their seats at the table for dinner. It continues to gnaw in her and she’s not sure she’ll be able to survive the night without passing out in front of everybody._ _

__

__“This is nice. It’s been a while since we’ve done this. I’m so happy you’re back guys.” Christen merrily says in between chewing and taking a quick sip of her glass._ _

__

__Ash and Ali grin at them at the same time. Their actions are now more in sync for being together for six years._ _

__

__“Yeah, I’ve missed this. It all feels like our younger years. You know, the first time we all settled down in the city.” Ash gestures among them._ _

__

__They all smile coyly and fall in silence, knowing fully well what Ash means. Those were the times when they were all just starting up, fresh from college and full of ambitions and hopes for the future. They can’t help but let nostalgia take over them at the moment._ _

__

__“But, as bad as it is in my palate, it’s Tobito’s pepper roast chicken and tuna pasta that I’ve missed the most! No offense, Chris.” Ash exclaims while taking a bite off from the chunk of chicken on her plate._ _

__

__This makes them all chuckle, lightening up the heavy mood that memories brought into the room just seconds ago._ _

__

__“She didn’t make you one when she stayed at your place in Tampa?” Christen questions when the chuckling subsides._ _

__

__“Umm…no, she was…busy. Doing stuff. Right, Tobin?” Ali tilts her head and gives Tobin a lip-tight smile that makes Tobin’s bones cringe._ _

__

__Tobin swallows the lump in her throat hard. “Yeah, umm…there were so many waterboard sports I wanted to try ‘cause you know I have never tried them before when I was here because obviously there are no waterboard sports here. So umm I was always going out for the entire month I was there. It kept me busy and physically active and left me exhausted when I was around. I barely stayed inside the apartment during daytime. I know I should’ve cooked dinner before I left as thanksgiving for welcoming me in your home. I hope this dinner makes up for it.” She rambles out then takes a long sip of her wine. At the rate she’s drinking, she’ll finish the first bottle all by herself._ _

__

__Ash smirks while sipping in her own glass, somewhat entertained by the situation._ _

__

__“Yeah it kept you occupied and very much physically active.” Ali confirms, eyes still on Tobin’s. “But it eventually worn you out, right? The thrill of trying new things and feeling bold ‘cause at the end, once the highs and adrenaline started to subside, you found your heart aching to be back to the one you loved first. To the one you truly love and completes you.”_ _

__

__If Tobin was still sipping on her wine, she could have choked on it._ _

__

__“Uh, umm…I—” Tobin can’t find the right words if there is any. She can feel the bids of sweat slowly forming on her temples and at the top of her forehead. Her hands start to sweat too and she’s shaking her leg under the table nervously. This is not the way she wanted the night to go. What is she supposed to say now that won’t give her away?_ _

__

__“I mean surfing. You found your way back to surfing after that, right?” Ali continues, a controlled smile on her face._ _

__

__Tobin shifts her head to the side. Christen is waiting patiently for her to say something. Her green eyes are round and filled with joy. Luckily, she seems oblivious to the real meaning behind Ali’s words._ _

__

__“Babe, I understand Tobin.” Ash mercifully takes pity on Tobin and comes to her rescue from Ali’s passive-aggressive assault. “Remember when we arrived in Tampa, I was hooked…no, obsessed with those new, high-tech waterboard sports they were offering all over the port area. They were all new and exciting, so I thought, “Fuck, I have to try all of them!” As if there was no tomorrow._ _

__

__For the first three months that we were there, I would go straight to the port from work instead of coming home right away. You had to threaten of breaking up with me before I came to my senses and realized they were not worthy of losing you. And then along the way I realized something. I missed surfing, my first love. I have forgotten and set it aside just because something new came in. I was so busy chasing temporary hobbies that I almost lost the things that matter most to me._ _

__

__So I came back to it. I came back to surfing. To something permanent and lasting. To something I know deep in my heart I desire and love the most. And god did it feel like home. I’m guessing it must be the same for Tobin.”_ _

__

__Tobin isn’t sure whether it helps or worsens the situation because really one would suspect by now that they are not only talking about waterboards and surfing and hobbies. That there is something more to it. But Christen seems to remain clueless and in fact buying the conversation because she’s nodding her head and squeezing Tobin’s thigh under the table, settling Tobin’s nerves for a bit._ _

__

__“But at least you had fun, right babe?” Christen smiles at her lovingly. “It’s all that matters.” She leans forward and puts a tender kiss on Tobin’s lips._ _

__

__Tobin shuts her eyes. She tries to savor and put to memory how those soft, warm, and reassuring lips feel against hers just in case it would be her last time kissing them after this night._ _

__

__When she opens her eyes, she finds Christen doing the same, eyes closed in content._ _

__

__They hear Ash clears her throat dramatically, breaking their moment and the kiss._ _

__

__“Should we go home now?” Their tattooed friend jokes. “I mean, we’ve just started dinner and I’m really looking forward to dessert but I’m not taking the risk of witnessing you two start banging each other in front of us.”_ _

__

__Ali knocks her girlfriend’s arm. “Ashlyn!”_ _

__

__“Ow! Babe they were making out in front of us. I know those stares. They were so close to pounding each other I had to say something!” Ash justifies herself while rubbing the skin that Ali hit._ _

__

__Christen blushes and leans back to her seat and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry about that.”_ _

__

__“Well, wouldn’t it be a sight to behold? We look totally hot. I just don’t know about you.” Tobin’s raising her brows up and down, grinning from ear-to-ear at the table. Her anxiety and worries have dissipated from the kiss and her confidence and dirty remarks are back on track._ _

__

__“Hmm... Are you suggesting of a showdown tonight, Heath? Be careful, I have a wild one in my team. You might not be able to keep up with us." She winks at Ali then holds an eye contact duel with Tobin, playfully challenging the brunette's competitive nature._ _

__

__Tobin does not tear her eyes from her friend either. She won’t let Ash get the upper hand on this._ _

__

__“If our girlfriends are open to an org—”_ _

__

__“Oh my god! You two shut the fuck up!” Both Christen and Ali yell in disbelief and disgust, cutting off whatever Tobin has to say back._ _

__

__Ash and Tobin throw their heads back laughing from having the desired reaction they wanted out of their girlfriends._ _

__

__The rest of the night, thankfully, has been easy and light and full of laughters over another bottle of red wine. Ash and Ali talk enthusiastically about their plans and their new jobs. The couple has acquired a thirty-minute drive away apartment from Christen’s and Tobin’s and only a walking distance from the gym where Ash will be training with the new NWSL club she’ll be working for._ _

__

__Christen and Ali discuss about Christen’s research and the yoga gym she co-owns with Julie. She has convinced Ali to take up a few classes in the morning the next week, telling her friend about the importance of balance and tranquility yoga brings in their busy lives._ _

__

__Ash and Tobin meanwhile, fall in to a heated discussion about football stuff. Turns out Ash hasn’t moved on from Falcon’s loss to the Patriots the previous Super Bowl. Tobin is probably the biggest Tom Brady fan in the entire United States of America. She goes off explaining the genius of her idol and football hero, leading his team to a twenty eight point deficit comeback and winning the title._ _

__

__The night eventually has to end. They walk their guests to the front door. Christen and Ali give each other a warm, tight hug. Tobin and Ash, in their true frat daddy fashion, fist pumps as they bid each other good bye._ _

__

__“I can’t wait to be the one hosting dinner in our new place once we’re all settled and have unpacked.” Ali murmurs while wrapping Tobin in an embrace._ _

__

__“Awesome. We can’t wait, too!” Christen responds almost immediately._ _

__

__The couple wave one more time before finally stepping out to the hallway, leaving Tobin and Christen alone in their apartment, a bit tipsy, stomach full, and hearts filled with happiness._ _

__

__“Speaking of unpacking…” Christen trails, she has her arms now wrapped around Tobin’s neck. “I gotta help you with your boxes.” She plants a soft kiss at the tip of Tobin’s nose._ _

__

__Tobin holds her by the waist and squeezes her gently, scrunching her nose. “Babe, you don’t have to. In fact, I don’t plan on taking those stuff out. They’re just mostly films of old photos of me in braces and grandma eyeglasses, and some of them are shots I haven't printed yet, I think.”_ _

__

__“Old photos of little Tobin? Well, dammit! More reasons to start taking them out now!” Christen untangles herself from Tobin and runs to the study room where Tobin’s boxes are safely stacked._ _

__

__Tobin runs after her laughing. “Seriously babe? Right now? Aren’t you like tired?”_ _

__

__But Christen is already sitting on the floor with her legs crossed, a box in front of her, and scissors in her hand when Tobin enters the room._ _

__

__“Why don’t you get us a glass and that half empty bottle on the table? It’ll be great to talk about your old photos and childhood memories over great wine.” Christen looks up to her. Her eyes are crinkled from grinning adorably ear-to-ear._ _

__

_How can I ever say no to you when you look at me like that?_ Tobin silently murmurs under her breath. 

__

__“Fine. I gotta warn you though. You’ve probably seen all of them before in that one. There’s nothing new in there. You'll only get bored I bet."_ _

__Christen only gives her an even wider grin and a thumbs up then she’s back fumbling the box._ _

__Tobin sighs in defeat. “Okay but wait ‘til I get back.”_ _

__She steps down the hallway to the dining table, taking her time. She’s not really eager to see how pre-puberty Tobin look on those old films she keeps for sentimental reasons. Though she may not like her childhood look, she still wants to keep something that will remind her of those innocent years. It's nice to have things that remind you of who you used to be and how much progress you've become in the present._ _

__

__Christen opens the box ahead, not caring to follow Tobin’s request to wait for her. She fetches up a polaroid photo of Tobin with her three siblings. It was taken a long time ago, probably during her sisters teenage years and while Jeff was around five or six. They were playing in their inflatable pool at their front yard. Tobin was rocking an orange bathing suit, a Real Madrid snapback, and an oversized sunglasses._ _

__

__She carefully sets it down to her side and goes back to fishing out more stuff from the box. There are rolls of new films that Christen suspects are from Tobin's recent shoots, a filmless old kodak camera, several old polaroids of Tobin's childhood but a brown envelope that is odly tucked catches her attention most. She shakes her head and smiles. Of course, it’s typical of Tobin. She would mindlessly put stuff in the wrong place._ _

__

__She’s not sure what it is that makes her do it. Maybe her curiosity, maybe her hands just mindlessly want to find something to busy itself with. She slowly unfastens the string and delicately opens the envelope and pulls out a pile of paper. Maybe it's something important that shouldn't just be misplaced anywhere. Maybe Tobin might be needing it in the future._ _

__

___**Divorce Application Form** _ _ _

__

____

_**JOINT COMPLAINT, PETITION, OR DECLARATION FOR SIMPLIFIED DIVORCE:** _

_**general pleadings to request the court to dissolve a marriage.** _

_**We, Tobin Powell Heath…** _ and _**... Alexandra Patricia Morgan…** _

She's confused for a couple of heartbeats, not sure whether she's looking at something real or a fragment of her fucking imagination. 

Christen’s hands start to fumble over the stack of papers. _It can’t be what it is._

 

_**DIVORCE AGREEMENT** _

 

She flips more papers one by one without really taking enough time to comprehend their full context. It's hard anyway when her vision is becoming blurry and cloudy.

 

_**DIVORCE WITHOUT CHILDREN AND WITHOUT CONJUGAL ASSETS** _

 

_**Tobin Powell Heath** _

 

_**Alexandra Patricia Morgan** _

 

How she's still able to read the printed texts is unknown to her. Her head starts to spin and she can feel the unbearable tightening in her chest like she's short of breath. Her heart is restlessly pounding like it’s about to implode. She grips on her shirt. Breathing has sudden become difficult and labored. 

 

 _When did this all happen? It can’t be real. No, Tobin did not—_ Then she remembers Alex’s words the first time they met or was formally introduced to each other by Allie at Perry’s beach bonfire party a few months ago.

 

 _"I just got out from a divorce. It was crazy. We were in—"_ Then Tobin came in to the picture all of a sudden, cutting Alex off and leading her away to safety from the drunk woman.

 

She grips the papers in her hands, not caring that she's crumpling its edges a little.

 

“Christen…” Tobin’s hoarse voice slices through the silence in the room.

 

Christen doesn’t have the energy nor the will to look up and meet Tobin’s eyes. Her green orbs are fixed instead on the slightly crinkled documents her shaking hands are tightly holding.

 

_**DISTRICT COURT CLARK COUNTY, NEVADA** _

 

_**Tobin Powell Heath and Alexandra Patricia Morgan are requesting the high court for the dissolution of their marriage in the state of Nevada.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's going down from here fam, buckle up!
> 
> Again let me know what you think...


	22. You're Crazy, Heath!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin's POV. Flashback.
> 
> What really happened in Vegas?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took forever for this to get updated. I can't make up any excuse other than I had a hard time thinking what to write next. And I know no amount of apology is enough for keeping you all waiting long. Anyway, here it is. Viola!

Tobin flopped down on the navy blue couch seat of an A320 that would, in a few minutes, ascend 30,000ft above the ground taking them off from LAX. It was a hot Friday west coast afternoon. Tobin was flying to Vegas with Allie and Bati for Alex’s 25th birthday weekend getaway. She didn’t really plan on joining her friends. It was only a late night decision she had made or, well, was forced to. Allie wouldn’t leave her alone, pestering her with texts and calls about coming with them on their Vegas trip. She was relentless and persistent, and to be honest borderline annoying. Realizing, she didn’t have anything else to do anyways, Tobin finally said yes and accepted the invite, shutting up her friend once and for all.

 

“This is gonna be hella fun crazy weekend!” Allie yelled from the top of her lungs over the phone on Thursday night.

 

Tobin could only breathed out a heavy sigh, hoping deep inside that whatever her friend had planned would help her feel a little better. She was starting to feel empty after breaking up with Christen. It wasn’t really a breakup. She just wanted a break, some time apart. For reasons that she couldn’t tell anymore. It had blurred through the days. She could still feel it though, see it from afar but just the tiniest clouded part of it that had slowly walked farther from her sight. It’s that point in your life when everything was perfect but you sought for more—because you’re just a human who never feel contented— only to realize a little too late that you didn’t need anything else. And now getting nothing but complete radio silence from the green-eyed woman, Tobin was left with regret and remorse.

 

“Hey are you okay?” A raspy voice called from her right side, saving her from completely succumbing to the little pity party happening in her mind.

 

She tilted her head to the side of her shoulder and was met by the deepest and most captivating blue eyes she had ever seen. Alex Morgan.

 

Alex was a coworker from the sports magazine she and Allie were working for. Alex was the newest addition, or replacement, to the team. When a junior photographer had resigned, Alex took her position and became one of Tobin’s on-field assistant photographer. And she was good and exciting at what she does. She and Tobin clicked right away, becoming instant friends from day one. Maybe it was because the senior photographer could see her younger self in her—someone spontaneous, carefree, and unproblematic.

 

“Tobin? Is anything wrong?” She didn’t realize she had been staring at Alex for quite a while without muttering a single word.

 

Tobin swallowed a lump in her throat and nodded.

 

“Yeah, I’m good Lex.” She showed a lip-tight smile, an attempt to convince the beauty beside her that nothing was torturing her deep inside.

 

Truth was, she couldn’t shake the hollow feeling in her chest and the loneliness that was rapidly consuming her. It wasn’t for the lack of company. She had friends with her all the time. Allie and Bati spent hella time with her since her break up with Christen. Kling and Lindsey were there, too. Perry would call her time to time, sharing almost everything from her exquisite sex life, that had Tobin cringed in her bones, to her boring office routine. Tobin had also been to several NFL games with her dad the past few weeks. She didn’t think they had bonded this much since she hit puberty which was a long time ago. Her mom would FaceTime her every other day and just like Perry, but least annoying, her mom would share to her so much about everything. She also got back to wall climbing with her brother and Alex was there on and off the field to entertain and occupy her mind with her crazy, hilarious photoshoot ideas.

 

She shouldn’t feel lonely at all. She was surrounded by people. But it was overwhelming and honestly, the more attention she drew from other people— the more she felt the presence of her family and friends—the more she knew there was something missing in her life. The more Tobin felt empty and incomplete. The more people looked at her with concern, the more she was missing the pair of green orbs staring at her in the morning. The more people communicate and check on her, the more she was longing to hear that distinct, soft, and sweet voice giggling, whispering her name at nights. The more they gave her reassuring hugs, the more Tobin’s skin crave for those warm touches and kisses from a particular dark-haired beauty. Everything at the moment was making her unanswered calls and ignored messages hurt more. And the realization that she fucked this all up, that there was no one else to blame but her, made Tobin loathe herself. She wasn’t sure if she was having a mid-life crisis but she was certain she was on the brink of pressing that blinking, red self-destruct button following her around like a shadow she couldn’t get rid off from.

 

A soft, warm grip on her arm brought Tobin back from her deep thoughts.

 

“I’m really glad that you agreed to come with us.”

 

Tobin rolled her eyes. “You know, I was forced but you’re welcome, Lex.”

 

Alex shoved her by the shoulder. “Shut up, Heath. You’re too far deep in your ass. For all I know you just wanted Allie have a tough time. But you were really dying to come.”

 

Tobin’s golden brown eyes grew wider in mock surprise. “Oh was I that obvious, Ms. Morgan?”

 

“Yup!” Alex made a popping sound of P at the end. “I knew you were coming with us. You can’t say no to me.” Alex winked.

 

“Now, now look who’s deep in their ass.” Tobin retaliated which earned another shove on her shoulder.

 

Both women giggled at their little banter before a comfortable silence wrapped them. Alex was the first to break the lull after a few heartbeats.

 

“Tobin?” She softly gripped Tobin’s hand on the armrest.

 

Tobin raised her brow facing her friend. “Yeah?”

 

“No ugly thoughts this weekend, okay? Only happy ones.” Alex uttered. Her face was full of promise. A promise of a fun and memorable weekend. And for once, Tobin thought, someone was finally not looking at her with sympathy and pity. Someone was finally not seeing her as some Damsel in distress who needed saving. _Yeah, happy thoughts. I can do that._

 

“Right,” She flashed her a toothed grin, their eyes locked on each other’s. “No more ugly thoughts. Happy and fun Tobin is all yours this weekend.”

 

Alex matched her smile. “Good!”

 

“Good.” Tobin nodded.

 

“Now, off to Vegas, baby!” As if it was on cue, the flight attendant requested them to buckle up their seat belts and turn off their phones and other devices. Letting them know they were about to takeoff.

 

“To Vegas, we go!” She replied enthusiastically, lifting her chin up and fist pumping the air. It was for the first time in a while Tobin genuinely smiled.

 

 

“Oh yeah! More!” Tobin screamed while holding a bottle of Jose Cuervo in hand. She poured another round of tequila in each shot glass on the coffee table, not allowing it empty for even a second.

 

The golden liquid burned in her throat and was warm as it reached the bottom of her stomach. Her head felt light and a slight buzzing was making the painted walls of their room swing. Alex leaned over and whispered something in her ear that she couldn’t fully grasped. The music coming off from the bluetooth speaker was blasting, making everything harder to comprehend.

 

“Tobin!” Alex yelled this time.

 

Tobin was grinning from ear-to-ear. “Yes?”

 

Alex must have mistaken it as Tobin’s answer to whatever she had told or asked a while ago because she was jumping like a glucose-induced child and was clasping her hands all together enthusiastically.

 

“Tobiiiin!” She squealed. “This is going to be a great night!” She took her phone out and skipped toward the bathroom, leaving Tobin confused and alone with Allie and Bati who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves a few feet away from her.

 

Tobin drowned another shot to busy herself and to divert her attention instead of watching her best friend getting it on with her boyfriend. They had been making out since their pregame had started. A couple of tequila shots down and they were all ready in each other’s throats like testosterone-driven teenagers.

 

Alex came out of the bathroom with a wicked smile. She had a change of clothing, pulling out from her faded skinny jeans and white tank top in favor of an edgier outfit— black cutoff cashmere shirt, a black mini skirt, and a pair of rugged boots.

 

“Wow, Lex, umm…you look really good?” Tobin couldn’t help but praise her friend.

 

“Just good, huh?” Alex asked, crossing her arms over her chest—lips pouting.

 

Tobin smiled and scratched the back of her neck. “Okay, you look hot. Happy?”

 

Alex’s pout slowly faded and turned into a full blown grin.

 

“Thanks! I know I can always count on you, Tobs.” She merrily hopped closer to the brunette. “Stay here. I’ll be back real quick.” She leaned down and planted a kiss on Tobin’s cheek, leaving an obscure kiss mark on her warming skin.

 

“Uh, okay.” Tobin whispered under her breath. She swallowed hard and bit her lip watching how Alex’s hips sway smoothly from side-to-side as she exited the door.

 

“Harry, you might wanna chill with the shots. The night’s long. We’re still going out.” Allie warned from the couch, fingers fidgeting on her phone to tone down the volume of the music. She was now sitting up and smoothing her dress and blonde hair that was disheveled from her heated activity with Bati.

 

“Oh hi Harry. Nice to know you haven’t totally abandoned me.” Tobin chuckled, reaching over to set her empty shot glass down on the table and to grab another one. “And don’t worry. I can handle myself. I didn’t survived and graduate from UNC for nothing.”

 

Allie rolled her eyes. Not totally buying Tobin. She knew her best friend. Tobin may love drinking but she was still unfortunately lightweight despite the countless of house parties they had attended and crashed back in college.

 

“Where’s Alex?” Her best friend scanned the room. She was squinting her blue eyes and craning her neck to check on the inside of the bathroom.

 

“Uh she’s not here, or there.” Tobin replied nonchalantly. “She went out. Said she’d be back quick.”

 

Allie’s blue eyes grew wide in horror. “What? You didn’t even ask where she’s going to? You should’ve gone with her. Harry! This is Vegas and Alex is hot! What if there are psy—”

 

“I’m baaaack! Did y’all miss me?” Allie was cut short by a toothed Alex barging in the room.

 

Allie’s panicked face softened. Relief washed over her at the sight of an Alex Morgan alive and in one piece. But this didn’t stop her from interrogating the younger woman.

 

“You got us worried there for a sec, Lex. Where have you been?” Allie crossed her arms over her chest.

 

Tobin chuckled from the couch. “Grandma, relax. You’re being paranoid. Loosen up. Maybe you should drink more shots instead of sticking your tongue in Bati’s throat.”

 

“Yeah, babe. Chill. Everything’s good.” Bati caressed the back of her girlfriend.

 

Allie snapped her head to the side, sending death glare at him.

 

“Or not. You know what I’m just gonna drink and mind my own business here. Pour me more Heath!” Bati backed away, frightened for his life.

 

“Don’t worry guys. I know something that’ll loosen her up.” Alex zipped her pouch open and took out a transparent pack, wagging it merrily in front of her friends.

 

“Alex what’s...that? Is that—ohh!” Allie took the pack from her friend. “Where did you get this from?” 

 

Alex shrugged. “Connections? I’ve been here in Vegas a couple of times before. I have friends.” She proudly replied.

 

“Oh my god Alex! I think I love you already!” Allie squealed holding Alex’s hands and jumping up and down like a kid.

 

Tobin couldn’t remember the last time she had had coke or any form of illegal substance. Christen was not a fan. Actually she had made Tobin promise to wage off drugs and cigarettes from the start of their relationship. Tobin, of course, had broken this promise a few times at first. Mostly when she was attending Kling’s parties. But as she and Christen became more serious and committed with each other, she had learned to completely keep her hands off from it.

 

“Hey you cool?” Alex plopped down next to her, eyes a little bit dopier and redder than they were before she left their room.

 

Tobin bit her lip and stared at Alex.

 

“Babe, clear the table.” Allie squeaked at Bati, stealing Tobin’s attention from the couch.

 

Bati, being the good boyfriend, did as he was told, sliding the shot glasses, tequila, several beer bottles, and a box of pizza aside. Not long after, Allie was already scraping a line on the table with her room card keys and rolling a dollar bill.

Tobin tilted her head back to her side and held eye contact with Alex again. She flashed a toothed grin and grabbed Alex’s soft hand. “Yes, come on let’s do this, Lex!”

 

 

Tobin was soaked in her own sweat from dancing one song to another and then another one but she couldn’t care less. She couldn’t remember either how they got in this penthouse from their own hotel room and how they got an invite in, perhaps it’s from one of Alex’s connections again. All Tobin knew was that the air was hot and steamy in the dance floor and Alex had her hands wrap around her neck, her bottom lip in-between her teeth, and looking at Tobin with a pair of droopy, blue eyes.

 

Tobin squeezed her waists. Her hands dangerously softly grazing Alex’s warm skin at the hem of her shirt. She gripped Alex’s waists and guided her to turn around so that she’d be facing and moving against Alex’s back. Alex clasped her hands and placed it on her exposed skin under her cashmere shirt. They both swayed to the beat of a Bruno Mars song played in the background.

 

Tobin leaned her head forward to Alex’s ear. “Haven’t thank you for bringing me here!” She half shouted through the blasting volume of the music.

 

Alex leaned back and rested the back of her head on Tobin’s shoulder. “I’m glad you’re having fun!” 

 

Alex was now more deliberately moving her ass against Tobin’s front, grinding against her and causing things to Tobin as if the alcohol and drugs weren’t enough to cloud her mind.

 

“I am!” Tobin replied before kissing Alex on the cheek. Alex tilted her head to the side and was met by Tobin’s droopy, twinkling eyes too. She was smiling big, obviously enjoying the night. Alex smiled back at her. She hadn’t seen Tobin this happy and carefree for a few weeks already and it was such a sight to behold. She cupped the brunette’s cheek then all of a sudden they both leaned in and closed the gap that was separating them.

 

Alex’s lips were soft and intoxicating against Tobin’s. They were both shy at first, only letting their lips touch for a moment before they slowly broke it off and gaze at each other. Their droopy eyes were gone, replaced by deep and wanting pairs of dark blue and golden brown locked on each other. At that moment, a silent agreement between them had been made and sealed.

 

Tobin hadn’t had this kind of warmth and intimacy the past couple of days or weeks. Sure she got warm hugs from friends and family but this one with Alex was different. It reminded her of how good it felt to touch and be touched by someone else, in a non-platonic way. She could see the want and desperation in Alex’s eyes, it mirrored hers. So Tobin leaned in again and reconnected their lips, now with more movement and pressure, with more intent and want.

 

If Alex was shocked, she didn’t let it show. She reacted to Tobin’s lips, returned the actions and eagerness of her mouth. Their current position was hot but it was causing discomfort in her neck. She turned around and pressed her front against Tobin’s without separating their mouths. Tobin pulled her in as if they could get closer. Her hands travelled from the younger woman’s waists down to her perfect round ass, squeezing it softly.

 

Alex moaned against her mouth at Tobin’s brave action. She ran her fingers through Tobin’s hair, telling her she was doing right.

 

Tobin, encouraged, left Alex’s hot mouth and started a trail of kisses down Alex’s neck and across her collarbones. She pulled her hand up and palmed Alex’s breast expertly. She could feel herself getting wet literally and figuratively.

 

Alex cupped her face and lifted it up so they were now eye level then whispered in her ear. “Not here.”

 

Tobin nodded and was halfway to apologizing to Alex for going too far when Alex continued, “Room?” Then took her hand and guided her through the sea of drenched bodies on the dance floor out to the door.

 

They half jogged in the hallway to the elevator. Alex punched their floor number. As soon as the metal door closed, Alex plunged herself into Tobin, pushing the older woman against the wall and sucking her lips. Tobin returned the same intensity. Her mouth was aggressive and hot, too. Her tongue battled with Alex’s. Her hands busied themselves feeling up Alex’s glorious breasts.

 

The elevator pinged and opened its door. The pair broke apart and hurried themselves to their room. Alex fumbled in her pouch to recover their hotel keycard. She was having difficult time focusing on the simple task, too distracted from Tobin’s mouth on her neck—nipping and sucking the tan, warm skin.

 

 

“Hurry.” Tobin whispered, impatient but seductive. She held on Alex’s hips tighter and grinded her front against her. Her left hand ghosted the space between Alex’s thighs where a throbbing was torturing Alex in a delicious way.

 

“Fuck!” Alex breathed out. The contact turned her even more. She finally found the key and swiped it across the scanner, finally unlocking their shared room.

 

Neither of them wasted time. Alex mindlessly dropped her purse on the floor and grabbed Tobin by the collar, crushing their lips together for another hot kiss. Tobin pushed her backwards toward their bed. She momentarily broke their kiss to pull off her tee and throw it over her shoulders somewhere in the room.

 

Alex did the same and lifted her shirt off, revealing a pair of black bra that fitted her chest perfectly. She then zipped her skirt down and let it fall by her feet, exposing a black laced thong. She shimmied off of it and let Tobin had a full view of her body.

 

If Tobin thought Alex was gorgeous a few seconds ago, she wasn’t sure anymore if the younger woman standing in front of her was even real, or human. Alex was divinely beautiful, out of this world hot. Her breasts were full and perched up. Her thighs were toned and the tiny laced thong covering the space between them left little to Tobin’s imagination. The brunette felt like exploding.

 

“C’mere.” Alex demanded and took her hands, placing it on her waists. Her voice was raspy and deep, mirroring the lust in her eyes.

 

Tobin stepped forward and captured Alex’s awaiting warm lips. They moved deeper into the room until Alex was pulling Tobin on the bed.

 

“God take your pants off, please!” She requested again. “I wanna see you hot stuff.” She giggled while unbuttoning Tobin’s ripped jeans.

 

Tobin too overwhelmed by the situation could only nod and watch Alex help her pull her pants down. She hurriedly shimmied off from it, only wearing a white Calvin’s under.

 

“Yup, hot stuff.” Alex husked out, a smirk appeared on her face as she snaked her arms behind Tobin’s neck and reconnected their lips once again.

 

Tobin laid them down on the soft mattress, slotting a leg between the younger woman’s thighs and deliberately thrusting in her core.

 

Alex groaned in pleasure. She was meeting Tobin’s thrusts, demanding for more friction to be felt. When everything became too hot yet frustrating Alex took the lead and guided Tobin down to her chest. Tobin finally took the hint that they couldn’t remain dry humping for the rest of the night, moved her hand down south where Alex was eagerly waiting for her. She brushed ever lightly through the thin, silky fabric of Alex’s thong making the girl underneath her squirm and buck her hips up.

 

“Tobin…” Alex moaned, encouraging Tobin to keep going and to do more.

 

Tobin finally took pity and with one swift motion swift the underwear to the side and plunge a finger inside Alex roughly.

 

“Fuck!” Alex’s curse echoed in the entire room.

 

“You’re so wet.” Tobin sounded equally worked up as Alex was. Her other hand pulled Alex’s bra down, exposing her mounds. She bowed and bit an erect nipple causing Alex to cry in pleasure.

 

“Tobin baby…more,” She arched her back again.

 

Tobin added another finger, stretching Alex’s pussy muscles. She finger-fucked Alex while alternately biting and sucking on her breasts.

 

“Oh god! That’s it Tobin! Right there!” Alex was scraping her back with her fingers, surely leaving crescent marks the next morning.

 

Tobin moved deeper down south until she reach the hem of Alex’s thong. She pulled it down and threw it in the air not caring where it would land in the room. She stuck her tongue out and for the first time tasted Alex. She was a mix of salt and sweet. She had a few pubic hair and Tobin thought it made her more desirable.

 

She looked up at the writhing figure of the blue-eyed woman. She had her head perked up, meeting Tobin’s gaze.

 

“Fucking delicious.” Tobin murmured. Her tongue flicked Alex’s swollen clit and then sucked on it hungrily.

 

“Jesus! Oh shit! Don’t stop! Don’t stop!” Alex was loud and borderline scandalizing their entire hotel floor.

 

Tobin did as what she’s told. She flicked and sucked on the throbbing nerve, her fingers continue hitting Alex’s sweet spot and driving her to the edge.

 

“I’m coming! Shit! I’m close!”

 

Tobin bit ever lightly on her clit making Alex explode and see stars at the back of her head. Her pussy muscles contracted and wrapped around Tobin’s expert fingers and a string of curses were heard in each corner of their room.

 

Tobin helped her ride her orgasm down, not pulling her fingers out until Alex’s breathing evened out and returned to normal. She kissed the spot under her jaw and nipped the warm skin.

 

“God, Tobin, that was—”

 

“Amazing?” Tobin cut her off absentmindedly, her cheeks turned red and a small giggle left her slightly parted lips when she realized how eager she sounded like.

 

“I was gonna say the best oral sex I’ve ever had but yeah sure you could call it amazing, too.” Alex unabashedly confessed, stroking Tobin’s back with her slender fingers and unhooking her bra. She was staring at her dreamily, whether it was the alcohol or the surprising yet comforting intimacy they were sharing at the moment, Tobin wasn’t sure. 

 

Tobin lifted her head up and raised her brow. “Don’t you wanna rest more?” She was starting to sober up and the magnitude of what they had done was now slowly sinking in to her head.

 

But Alex didn’t let her dwell further on that nagging thought at the back of her head, cutting off that small voice that was somehow warning her of something.

 

Alex stroked the length of her arm and slowly guided the strap of her bra fall to the side, not wasting time and throwing the garment later at the foot of the bed. She gasped at the sight of Tobin’s bare chest. Her breasts were small but round and firm. Her nipples never looked flushed and erect. The younger woman wrapped her legs around Tobin’s torso and flipped them over, now straddling the brunette under her weight.

 

“My turn.” She scooted down and impatiently took Tobin’s Calvin’s down, licking her lips at the view of Tobin’s glistening folds and swollen clit.

 

“Alex…” Tobin rasped out in heavy breaths, sounding desperate and pleading.

 

Luckily for her, Alex was not in the mood for teasing. She was as eager to finally have a taste of Tobin. Sticking her tongue out, she languidly licked the length of Tobin’s wet folds. Nice and slow. Tobin arched her back up at the mind-blowing sensation.

 

“Fuck! Alex more!”

 

Alex wasted no time, finding Tobin’s clit and sucking expertly like it’s where her life was depending on. As if she was some kind of a traveler that had been exiled in the desert for years and had just finally had her first taste of water from an oasis, replenishing her thirst. She lapped every ounce of juice in Tobin’s core, moaning loud to let Tobin know she was enjoying eating her out as much as the brunette was surely enjoying it based on her low cries of pleasure. 

 

Tobin was combusting. She had missed this. The feeling of being pleasured and admired in a sexual way. She had missed being touched and glorified, and seeing somebody kneeling between her legs, praising her body like she was a temple and a church.

 

“You taste so damn good…” Alex moaned again in between licking and sucking. 

 

Tobin couldn’t make any response than pulling Alex deeper into her, urging the younger woman to continue that thing her mouth and tongue were doing. She threw her head back when two, long fingers were plunged in her core unexpectedly.

 

“Oh my god! Right there! Don’t stop!” Tobin cried out loud, echoing in the entire suite.

 

Alex plowed her restlessly. Her fingers were relentless and hitting that sweet spot inside Tobin. She flicked her tongue on Tobin’s sensitive bundle of nerves a couple of times more, pushing the brunette to the edge.

 

“I’m coming!!! I’m coming!” Tobin shut her eyes closed, unable to contain the wonderful and overwhelming feelings flooding her body. She gripped the back of Alex’s head and the sheets underneath them as her walls started to contract around Alex’s fingers. Her mouth was agape and spitting out little curses in the air.

 

Alex lifted herself up, leaving a trail of small kisses along Tobin’s torso until they were eye level. She planted a long, languid kiss on Tobin’s slightly parted lips.

 

“How was it?” Alex asked, chuckling adorably against their still attached mouth.

 

Tobin opened her eyes and smiled back. “Perfect.”

 

They remained silent for a while. Blue eyes anchored on a pair of golden brown. The gravity of the situation now slowly sinking in their minds.

 

“Lex…” Alex brushed the stray hair on her forehead and wiped off beads of sweat.

 

“Shhh…it’s okay. We don’t have to talk about this.”

 

Tobin’s brows furrowed. “But we just had se—”

 

“Yeah we did have sex and we both are single, right?”

 

Tobin bit her bottom lip and nodded.

 

Alex rolled off of her to her side. Their eyes still not leaving each other.

 

“And we both think it was amazing?”

 

Tobin nodded again in agreement.

 

Alex leaned forward reconnecting their lips.

 

“Then it’s okay, Tobin. We did nothing wrong.”

 

Alex was right. They were both single and unattached to anyone. Technically, they didn’t do anything wrong. Plus the sex was great. But deep inside she knew she did something horrible. Deep inside, she felt terribly guilty. Because deep inside she knew she shouldn’t have slept with Alex or with anyone else. Because deep inside she knew she loved someone else.

 

“Hey…” Alex brushed her thumb softly against her cheek, pulling her off from her dark reverie.

 

“No ugly thoughts, right?”

 

Tobin stared at her blue eyes. They were sincere, full of hope and genuine. They were sparkling and pulling her in. They were probably the most captivating eyes she had ever seen.

 

Tobin closed her eyes, breaking the stare, and breathed deep. “Okay…right, just happy thoughts…” She was trying to calm herself, trying her best not to panic. “We’re in Vegas. We’re having fun.”

 

She felt Alex’s thumb caressing her face again. “Tobs, relax. No one will ever know about this.”

 

“No one?” Her brown eyes were pleading, begging, and hopeful.

 

Alex smiled and nodded ever lightly. “Yeah, no one. So chill. This is just between us.”

 

Tobin returned her smile. This time she was more relieved and light by the chest. 

 

“Okay…okay…just between us.” She echoed the younger woman.

 

Alex softly kissed her cheek. “And Tobs…”

 

“Mmmm…?” Tobin hummed.

 

“This…” Alex planted a kiss on the tip of her nose. “This isn’t bad at all.” Then reconnected their lips once more.

 

Tobin, for a second, thought of pulling away . Feeling that they should halt doing anything further. But Alex’s words kept ringing in her head. _No ugly thoughts...no one will know…Vegas…nothing wrong…have fun…_ So Tobin didn’t push Alex off. Didn’t object when Alex deepened the kiss. Didn’t protest when Alex’s tongue brushed along her lips and found the inside of her mouth, exploring and started massaging hers. She didn’t refuse and just let things happen until they were back fucking each other again, until they both got exhausted and passed out lying naked in bed, their legs and limbs intertwined.

 

 

“Harry!!!”

 

BANG! BANG!

 

BANG!!! BANG!!!

 

“Let’s get something to eat!”

 

“Tobin! Wake up! Allie’s on the door.” Alex shook Tobin by the shoulder, whispering so that Allie wouldn’t overhear from the other side. When Tobin didn’t respond more than just a grunt, Alex pulled the blankets off of her.

 

She swallowed hard at the sight of Tobin’s exposed body. Her hair was spread all over the pillow under her head. Her face was soft and so peaceful. Her breasts were full and Alex was tempted to swirl her tongue around their peaks.

 

BANG!!! BANG!!!

 

“I swear to god, I’m going to bust this fucking door open!” Allie yelled one more time.

 

Alex started pacing the room, looking and picking up their scattered articles of clothing. She went back at the foot of the bed and sighed when Tobin’s figure remained motionless. She tossed their clothes on the bed and crawled up to Tobin, straddling the brunette underneath her.

 

“Tobin…” She husked out.

 

Tobin only gruntled and murmured incomprehensible things in her sleep.

 

Alex’s patience was running thin. She bowed low to Tobin’s ear and bit hard on her lobe before uttering. “Tobin Heath, if you’re not gonna get your ass off this bed I’m gonna fuck your pussy again mercilessly sore that you wouldn’t be walking for days.” She grinded her hips against Tobin’s and squeezed her breasts forcefully.

 

“Fuck!” Tobin slurred. “Alex what are you doin—”

 

Alex ran her fingers along Tobin’s folds. “Oh my god! Lex!”

 

“Do I have your attention now?” Alex’s eyes grew darker, a familiar sight from last night.

 

Alex humped against her core, pushing her fingers deeper. “Yeah, but umm—oh fuck!”

 

Alex immediately covered her mouth.“Sshhh…be quiet. Allie’s pestering our door. She wants to get breakfast…or lunch whatever time it is now.”

 

“It doesn’t explain why your fingers are between my legs.” Tobin smirked. After their talk last night, her confidence was back on track. “Can’t get enough of me?”

 

Alex rolled her eyes. “You wish. I was waking you up. Allie is scandalizing the entire hotel. She’s been banging our door for like fifteen minutes now. And she’s threatening to knock the door down if we don’t emerge from this room. Are you gonna jump off this bed or you want her to see us in this position?”

 

Tobin’s eyes grew wide. “Absolutely not! Now get off of me you woman!”

 

“Just as I thought.” Alex hopped off from her position and walked to her luggage, not caring whether her naked body was exposed to Tobin who remained on the bed gawking at her glorious ass.

 

She was seeing Alex now in a different way. She didn’t like it though. She knew it was wrong. She wanted to stop but she couldn’t help it, not when everything from last night was still fresh in her memory despite the crazy amount of alcohol she had consumed.

 

“Are you just gonna stare at my ass whole day or what?” Alex called her out.

 

“I’m not staring at your ass.” She left the bed and padded to her own luggage just next to Alex’s.

 

BANG!!! BANG!!!

 

“This is my last warning if I don’t see you walk out—”

 

“WE’RE COMING!!!” They both yelled out, cutting their blonde friend off outside, while hastily putting fresh clothes on.

 

“What happened last night? I was just getting more drinks from the coolers then poof! You’re gone!” Allie uttered in-between munching her waffles and sipping her cup of coffee.

 

Tobin almost choked on her own. A sense of panic flooded her mind and her cheeks turned pale instantly, not knowing how to answer her best friend without spilling everything. Luckily for her, Alex always knew what to do, saving them from the blonde.

 

“I forgot Tobin was such a lightweight. She was threatening to get sick all over the party so I had to drag her back to our own suite.” Alex said nonchalantly while pouring honey on her pancakes.

 

Allie and Bati only hummed and nodded their heads, somehow buying that lame alibi. Perhaps too hungry and hungover to pry for more. Nothing was asked again about the other night for the rest of their brunch. They talked of how fun the party was instead, the cool people they had met and became friends with, and their plans for their last night in the city.

 

“We’re thinking of getting an ink together. Something really unique and represents our love.” Bati said enthusiastically. He was pointing at his rib cage. “Maybe somewhere here. What do you guys think?”

 

But Tobin couldn’t think straight and pay attention to her friend’s little cheesy romantic concern across the table. Alex’s hand that was mindlessly drawing invisible patterns on her thigh under the table was making her feel dizzy and was clouding her mind.

 

 

Later in the night, they found themselves in a secluded tattoo parlor in the outskirts of the city. Tobin couldn’t recall how they got there. All she knew was they were in OMNIA a high-end nightclub at first, watching Calvin Harris perform. Allie was getting them bottles of beer and shots after shots after shots. Somehow Alex got hold of someone who offered liquid ecstasy and poured it on their drinks to add a “kick” in their night. They got high and left the place. A few minutes later, they were inside a strip club. A brunette approached Tobin and started giving her a lap dance which she very much appreciated in her high state. The girl had a body to die for. Breasts that were borderline peaking out of her black bra, her ass were round and perfect and firm. Tobin was tempted and squeezed it hard when the stripper straddle her and started dry humping against her crotch area. At some point in the night, Allie was dragging them out of the club. She didn’t like that one of the strippers grabbed Bati’s face and pulled him in between her blessed breasts.

 

Then they’re suddenly inside an ink shop and Tobin was watching her friend as Bati tried to settle down on her stomach on a reclining chair. A stranger with tattoo-clad arm sleeves and neck and pretty much ink all over his body, was putting on a stencil on Bati’s butt that was sticking up bare in the air. He smoothed out the stencil and removed it carefully a minute later, displaying the design—Mario and Luigi brothers—that both Allie and Bati agreed to ink on their bottoms.

 

“Yup, that’s something really unique.” Alex husked in her ear. Her breath was warm and she smelled a mix of lime, tequila, and joint.

 

They both giggled.

 

“And truly represents their love.” Tobin added.

 

“I couldn’t think of a more suiting and romantic design to be honest.” Alex joked before taking a swig from the bottle of tequila in her hand, which Tobin didn’t notice until just now.

 

“Hey you two!” Allie called out from behind. She was standing in front of a whole body mirror. Her skirt pulled down to her ankles and her ass on display.

 

“Should I put it on my left cheek or right? I can’t decide.” Allie looked way wasted than both Alex and Tobin combined. Her mascara was melting, her lipstick smudged, blonde hair tousled.

 

Tobin grabbed the liquor from Alex’s grip and chugged. “We will need more of this.”

 

Alex threw he head back in laughter. They took turns taking a swig and passing a joint the tattoo artist offered them while they waited until they couldn’t bear hearing more of Bati ugly crying from the pain of the needle assaulting his man-ass and Allie by his side, calming her boyfriend on his first tattoo.

 

“Wanna go somewhere else?” Alex drunkenly puffed in her ear.

 

“And what? Leave our friends here?” Spat out in mock horror.

 

Alex nodded vehemently, desperate to leave already.

 

“Thought you’d never ask.” Tobin smirked, sending a wink before Alex was grabbing her wrist and pulling her out of the steamy place. They were walking hand in hand in the streets of Las Vegas, drunk and high. Clubs and buildings were shining bright and were blinding their droopy eyes. The night was warm and perfect for a stroll.

 

“Hey, Lex. Look!” Tobin stopped them in their track and pulled Alex in when a particular blinking sign caught her attention. She looked up at the sign then dragged her gaze back to Alex who was staring at her incredulously with wide, blue eyes.

 

“Oh my god!” Alex was laughing hard, beads of tears appearing in the corners of her eyes, when she had realized what it was Tobin wanted to do. “That’s crazy! You’re crazy, Heath!”

 

Tobin shrugged her shoulders. “What ever happened to _happy thoughts_ and _having fun_ , huh? And if Bati and Allie can be insane, why can’t we? Plus, you wanna have that legit real Vegas experience, right? This is it!”

 

Alex thought deep for a minute, as if her drugged mind could make a logical decision at the moment. Then she shook her head in the affirmative and smiled brightly. Tobin thought she was shining even brighter than the city lights. “Hell yeah, let’s do it!”

 

Tobin grinned ear-to-ear, pulling Alex in and entering chapel with a blinking sign that said, “Get Wed.”

 

 

“That’s all I can remember. I swear it wasn’t anything serious. We were just drunk and high and having fun. We thought it was just one of those fake wedding chapels for tourists where you could pay less than 20 bucks for fake wedding rituals.” Tobin narrates to Christen everything she can remember, only skipping a few details especially those specifics involving Alex in bed with her.

 

“You slept with Alex.” Christen murmurs more to herself than to Tobin.

 

“Yes, I’m sorry.” Tobin apologizes dejectedly.

"How many times did you sleep together?"

Tobin doesn't answer, stunned by the boldness of Christen's inquiry. 

"I was asking, how many times did you fuck?" There's a little bite now in her tone, displeased over Tobin's silence.

"I don't know. A couple of times? But they were all meaningless, Chris. They--" 

“She's a coworker.” Christen cuts her off. Her voice was hollow and void of any emotions and it sends chills to Tobin’s bones more than a screaming Christen.

 

“A friend.” Christen continues to mumble more to herself than the brunette facing her. “You got married...with someone else.”

 

Tobin flinches.

 

“It was by accident and I regret it, Chris. I swear. I’m so sorry.” Tobin’s sight is now blurred by the tears that has accumulated in the corners of her eyes.

 

“When did you get the divorce?” Her green eyes are locked on something over Tobin’s shoulder, a way of refusing to make an eye contact with the brunette.

 

Tobin sighs. “We didn’t.”


End file.
